Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just A Little Taste

We're back!

The trip was so fun, except for the time I insulted a few lawyers, and the time I swore in front of innocent children, oh, and the time I almost puked in a stranger's lap.

Other than those few moments, we had a great time!

We stayed at the Marriot Hotel in San Jose Costa Rica which is a little bit different then the Marriot in Utah, well a huge bit different! They have a casino, golf course, 4 restaraunts, and hello...the beach!

Here are a couple views from our Hotel.

I tell ya, I've never seen so many bare naked pregnant bellies at one time in my life!

Al and I would love walking to the marina and take in the scenery while playing in the water. Okay, I played in the water while Al watched.

Although there were tons of tours and adventures to go on, I think our favorite thing to do was this.

Now we both love laying out and reading a book by the pool, however I don't think Albert knows how to really relax. Me, I was reading Club Dead, a fictional novel about make believe events and imaginary people, pure for entertainment purposes. Albert on the other hand took this book:


Economics on vacation? Come on Al! Mind you, this book is NOT a school book, he is NOT required to read it, he actually went and bought that boring lookin thing at Barnes and Noble for a "casual" read. Of course I took the opportunity to give him crap every time he cracked the cover and I wasn't the only one who noticed, some other people in our group saw what he was reading but they were more in awe which of course I secretly was too, but ya can't admit that it's just not as fun.

But that's Al for ya, he is always learning. He thinks it's fun er somethin....learning, pfh!

Now that I think of it, maybe I need to do a little learning myself. I totally embarrassed us both with my blabber mouth that likes to spit crap out before my brain has time to actually give it permission. One said occasion happened at the welcome dinner the first night we were there.

We were sitting at the table with a couple lawyers who work at Siegfreid and Jensen, a popular personal ingury law firm. You know, the ones who are on the back of every phone book and billboard in Utah?

Now you know Alex is applying for law school so they all started into their "lawyer" talk while I pretended to pay attention spouting out a few vague comments here and there when we were introduced to another lawyer who came to sit at the table. I looked at this new person and I asked:

"Oh, are you with Siegfried and Roy too?"


Alex bout died and before I tried to correct myself he gave me a little nudge which I interpreted as him telling me to shut the hell up before I embarrased both of us any further. After dinner however, we took a walk on the beach and Al said he nudged me because he didn't think anybody heard me, or if they did, they chose to ignore it so he thought it best to leave it be.

We both had a good laugh over that one!

So there's just a little taste of the trip for ya, I've got plenty other embarrasing stories to tell and plenty more pics to show you of the beautiful scenery that get ruined by me being in them, but they will all come in good time. For now I'm a week behind at work and even worse, a week behind in reading my favorite blogs so I must go! Stay tuned...

Oh and no Allison, we didn't see any Ligers, much to our disapointment. However I heard Tions are much cooler anyway.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Can One Survive With Only Six Pairs of Shoes?

Well the hubster and I are off to Costa Rica! And no matter how much I would love to lay on the beach and blog all day, it aint gonna happen! (Yep, I said aint)

Because I will be holding a margarita the whole time and I just can't blog with one hand, but we will be back next Friday with plenty of pics to share!

Peace out!

(Yep, I said peace out)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Yuletide Weed

Al & I are such good parents that we spoil our furry children endlessly at Christmas time.

Okay so last year we totally forgot to do Christmas for them! But this year we wanted to make up for it in full. So we went to Doggy Heaven (aka Pet's Mart) to shop for Dozer and of course we found the smallest bone possible for our little boy:

He wasn't quite sure what to do at first. His usual routine is to take the bone in his mouth and roam around the house until he finds a good hiding place (like the corner of a room in plain site) at which point he attempts to bury it by digging an imaginary hole in the carpet, dropping the bone in it, and then using his nose to push the imaginary dirt to cover it up.

But this bone wasn't exactly cooperating like the others. He tried to go bury it in the bedroom, but got stuck walking down the hall, he couldn't figure out how to turn his head so the bone would stop putting dents in our walls!

After Al & I were able to pick ourselves up of the floor & dry our eyes, we decided that we had put him through enough torture, not to mention our walls, So we helped him take his gift back to his bed.

Where he just sat staring at it for the rest of the night. It wasn't until a few days later that we figured out he would not chew on it unless we held the bone upright for him. Which of course we do.

We also went shopping for our two kitties. Hmmm, what would be the best present that would show our babies how much we love them?

Get them high!

Yep, we bought Boomhower and Smokey some Kitty Marijuana. That's what kind of parents we are, only the best for our kitties! We also got them a psychedelic kitty tube to roll in while they were tripping.

At first I just held the catnip in my hand, but soon it was all over the floor and inside the tube. Smokey was rolling around covering himself in it! He couldn't get enough!

Boomhower was more interested in the tube looking thing, he liked taking things slow and enjoying the feeling of euphoria while Smokey went nuts on the rug!

So after they had burned enough brain cells, it was time to take the magic kitty weed away and clean up the mess! I put the the goods back in the baggy and placed it up on the counter while I vacuumed the rug. After cleaning up the front room (in an apron of course) I went to get myself a bowl of cereal from the kitchen where I found this:

We created an addict!

Smokey had found the stash and tried to make a getaway with it. You can see the crazy kitty chew marks from his attempt to open the bag.

The Kitty Pot was EVERYWHERE!

Of course Smokey had run off and was nowhere to be found. I heard that denial is the first stage of becoming a drug addict. And since this incident, Smokey hasn't been the same. He's been talking back, his eyes are always bloodshot, he's been skipping school and sleeping all day. I even caught him stealing some cash from Al's wallet! I think we created a monster.

Anyone know of a good Kitty Rehab center?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Can't Touch This!

Does anyone else think that guys do not need salon quality shampoo? I mean they have to cut their hair so often that it doesn't even have time to get damaged.

Are ya with me girls?

Now women on the other hand have long hair with special needs that requires special shampoo and conditioner. This is what I have been trying to tell my husband, I NEED expensive salon shampoo and he doesn't! Which is why I buy his shampoo at the grocery store and choose whichever one is the cheapest.

So I told my sweet husband that if he even looks at my expensive shampoo in the shower, that I will do what my big brother did to me as a child.

Blow my nose into the towel so when he dries his face he gets a little piece of my special sauce!

Ok so I'm sorry about that don't worry there will be no more boogers mentioned in the remainder of this post. Feel safe to proceed.

Okay back to the point, so after many years of guarding my shampoo, the hubster came home from his haircut appointment and left me a lil note:

Can't read his handwriting? Okay, let me zoom in a bit:

Still can't read it? Okay, let me interpret it for you:


These are my special shampoo and conditioner. I need them because, contrary to what you think, I have special hair with special needs. You are not to touch my special shampoo/conditioner. DON'T TOUCH IT!!! IT IS MINE!!!

I am SO going to use his shampoo!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Y'all Wull Lurv Dat Cockporn Peeps! I'm Just Sayin.

I won a Puppy! Look how cute he is:

The Wife O Riley gave it to me who received it from her husband's blog. Awwww, the hubby giving the wifey an award how sweet is that? That fact that he gave it to her means a lot because he awarded her even after she somehow shoved a camera up his ass!

Now THAT is love!

And I'd like to spread that love to some fellow bloggers who I think I could forgive if they shoved some hard bulky object up my ass. And I hope they forgive me when I do the same, it seems to be a prerequisite before giving out this award.

1. Andrea: This chick is friggin hilarious people! She says things like "Peeps" which means people & my favorite "I'm just sayin" which I think means she's just saying. Plus her gift-giving-challenged husband came through for her birth and gave her a new camera so you got to check out her pics "Peeps"!

2. Lee at Perpetual Burn: This chic is so interesting! She's only 16 and started college when she was 15. She's in your face and will write anything on her blog! She's very entertaining and she is a graphic designer and she will create you a blog layout of your own! Oh, and she almost hassled the Hoff people!

3. Angie at My Pretty Purse: Angie's blog is all about cute girly things! And of course pretty purses! All things pretty can be found on her blog and she tries new products like makeup and gives her opinion to help us all avoid the things that suck and enjoy the things that rock!

4. Black Betty at ...Der Go Yo Bizkits...: This chick is funny! She's preggers with a "Lil' Farto" and she has taught me knew words like "lurv", "dat", and "y'all". I even learned a new word from her little diva - "Cockporn". It's so refreshing to see a woman raising her kids right!

Now if you didn't get an award, it doesn't mean I don't love you! I will happily come shove a camera up your ass anytime!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Humping With the Stars

My Sis-in-law Sharon came up with a plan last year that the Silkman girls start a monthly Girls Night Out. This way we can all get together to catch up on the latest gossip, compare our sex notes, and have pillow fights in our underwear.

Isn't that what you do at Girl's Night Out?

Well our GNO in December was bit more exciting, Mama Silkman got us tickets to

We were all pretty excited and rightfully so, it was a great show. I was a little worried that the whole show would be, well, dancing with the stars. You know, watching the poor amateur stars make fools of themselves on the dance floor?

But nope, I was wrong. They brought out the real dancers too and they were amazing!

And they were all half naked.

Now I didn't know they were going to do this, but the producers integrated a "Magic Show" theme into the evening.

The women started out half naked and their clothes continued to disappear as the night went on! It was truly magical!

I just couldn't figure out why the men had to wear clothes, I mean didn't they get hot? Pretty disappointing in that facet.

But we had great seats!

And so did most of the guys!

The only problem I had was not where I was sitting, but who was sitting in front of me. Ladies and Gents, let me introduce you to the worst comb-over I have ever seen in my life!

Yep folks, it's real! And other than the sickening stench of B.O. that was radiating off this man, the night couldn't have gone better.

And unlike when I went to see So You Think You Can Dance, I didn't do any humping at this show.

There was plenty of that going on on the dance floor.

Friday, January 9, 2009

God Knits!

Here's proof!

Rebecca Jo over at Knit By God's Hand...

...has knitted me this heavenly scarf! A while back I posted under my "WANTING" section of my little sidebar that I wanted a scarf and lo and behold one showed up at my doorstep!

Check this out! Isn't it beautiful! The quality of this yarn is amazing and extremely soft! And look at that knitting job! This woman is a professional I tell ya! And the fact that she is an accountant too, well I think she's officially my new best friend. (Well, after diamonds and Ava of course)

It's super super long so it fits my super super monstrously tall body, that right there is a rare occasion in my life!

Now I've been working 12-14 hour days this week which is why all these pictures are at work. Maybe if I stopped blogging I would be able to go home on time, ha!

So I wanted to get a picture of me wearing the scarf so I could show how cute it is on and the only thing I could think of was to take a picture in front of a mirror. So, here I am in the bathroom, at work, attempting to take pictures for my blog.

Please don't judge me.

Luckily our receptionist came in and saved me from myself. (Gotta love casual Fridays!)

I'm just so excited about my own piece of heaven that I had to publicly say thank you to Rebecca Jo!

Is it okay if I sleep with it too?