*The following guide was inspired by actual events.
6 easy steps to win over the girl of your dreams
1. Show up on the first date in a wife beater.
2. Show up on the first date in your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala.
3. Brag about the your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala's bitchin sound system.
4. Make a point of driving the girl around the parking lot to demonstrate exactly how bitchin your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala's sound system really is.
5. After the first date continue texting her 10 times a day. Don't worry when she never texts back, that's just her playing hard to get.
6. And finally, the last but most important step of all, send her pictures of random body parts flexing in the mirror.
It is vital that you make sure your skin is nice and wet before you take the picture, this creates a glistening affect that further enhances your big man muscles.
Just follow these 6 easy steps and you are guaranteed to make the ladies swoon!
*No, I'm not kidding, this actually happened.
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36 comments:
You are one lucky girl, Kel. :)
#6 makes up for 1-5. I can't help it. That physique speaks to me.
Wow.
I've never been sadder for the state of humanity.
SWOON!!! where can I find such a hot piece of man meat? LOL
I just want to know if he "misted" his body to get that glistening effect... does he think he's Edward standing in the sun? :)
What a catch. LOL
Holy Hell. I can't believe I just read this. What a douche!
You're really picking some winners there.. :)
Oh I dealt with all kinds of craziness like that after my divorce. And these were men in their late 30s/early 40s. Amazing! I had one guy take me to Logan's for lunch and ask to sit in the bar. He then asked the waitress to turn on the TV and proceeded to watch racing the entire time and ignore me.
Afterward, he wondered why I didn't say yes to a second date!
After I saw #6 I forgot what 1-5 said.
Yes. I'm a cougar.
You have the most awesome luck.
If you are having troubles, I did post a tutorial this week on where single women can go to meet men.
writing these down...lol
Wow! How'd you get hooked up with that one?! I guess it works on some folks.
my. word.
that is awesome.
seriously, can we all mock him openly?
also, even if he was a big headed douche i still would've rode his pink pony.
if i was single.
which i'm not.
just sayin'.
<3
Where did you meet this winner?
I thought there was gonna be a big "surprise" in the toilet if you know what I mean.
Heehee... Wow.
He was lucky to get that first date.
I would have immediately closed the door in his face after seeing the wife beater (and if I managed to get a look at the car in that short amount of time, the door closing would have been followed by a phone call to the cops, because obviously something is just not right with this guy)! ;)
LMAO!! That's Hawt!!
There are just no words....
You are such a lucky girl. I think he's a keeper. ;)
Holy shiz.
Hey that looks like my bathroom he is standing in....
Fellow Blog Hopper:)
OMG. Well at least he has nice arms...
But the uncontrolled texting is rather disturbing.
Who's got your back Kel?
taking notes :p
Makes me wonder....what would be better? Becoming a lesbian, or becoming a nun?
Umm did you at least rub those arms a bit?
Oh man! You are getting all sorts of entertainment and excitement now aren't ya!!! lol
That flexing picture makes me laugh.
Wow, there are so many winners out there!
You go girl! You know how to attract the best! Lol
First thing I thought of when I saw the headless picture - he must be ugly as sin! Sorry, that's mean but .. Really?
That boy (can't call him a man) wasn't raised right! Ugh - the entire post about his behavior - Ugh! And... NEXT!
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Get the heck out of the city.
The rusty impala would have done it for me though. That is one fine driving machine... : )
I especially like that he totally flexed in his sexy(?) bathroom with the toilet...and the trash...HA...guess it fits...!!!
Wow. You are a lucky girl. Maybe go for a chubby IT guy next time? Give the chubs a chance? ;)
LOL The arms are killer, though.
Why isn't Lances 'bitchen' pic up!
You found a single, straight, hot guy and he's a total dud??? Major bummer!!
Dating sucks. But it's great blog fodder!!!!
I LOVE YOU!
I sent your card to your old address. I didn't have your new one...*hint, hint*.
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