Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Wife Beater: It's Not Just A Shirt, It's A Lifestyle


*The following guide was inspired by actual events.



6 easy steps to win over the girl of your dreams


1. Show up on the first date in a wife beater.


2. Show up on the first date in your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala.


3. Brag about the your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala's bitchin sound system.


4. Make a point of driving the girl around the parking lot to demonstrate exactly how bitchin your rusty low ride sixty-somethin Impala's sound system really is.


5. After the first date continue texting her 10 times a day. Don't worry when she never texts back, that's just her playing hard to get.


6. And finally, the last but most important step of all, send her pictures of random body parts flexing in the mirror.







It is vital that you make sure your skin is nice and wet before you take the picture, this creates a glistening affect that further enhances your big man muscles.




Just follow these 6 easy steps and you are guaranteed to make the ladies swoon!



*No, I'm not kidding, this actually happened.

36 comments:

dani said...

You are one lucky girl, Kel. :)

blueviolet said...

#6 makes up for 1-5. I can't help it. That physique speaks to me.

Tanya said...

Wow.

I've never been sadder for the state of humanity.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

SWOON!!! where can I find such a hot piece of man meat? LOL

Rebecca Jo said...

I just want to know if he "misted" his body to get that glistening effect... does he think he's Edward standing in the sun? :)

Shell said...

What a catch. LOL

Courtney said...

Holy Hell. I can't believe I just read this. What a douche!

Kell said...

You're really picking some winners there.. :)

Stephanie Faris said...

Oh I dealt with all kinds of craziness like that after my divorce. And these were men in their late 30s/early 40s. Amazing! I had one guy take me to Logan's for lunch and ask to sit in the bar. He then asked the waitress to turn on the TV and proceeded to watch racing the entire time and ignore me.

Afterward, he wondered why I didn't say yes to a second date!

The Nice One said...

After I saw #6 I forgot what 1-5 said.
Yes. I'm a cougar.

Kristina P. said...

You have the most awesome luck.

If you are having troubles, I did post a tutorial this week on where single women can go to meet men.

Brian Miller said...

writing these down...lol

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

Wow! How'd you get hooked up with that one?! I guess it works on some folks.

Princess Andy said...

my. word.

that is awesome.

seriously, can we all mock him openly?

also, even if he was a big headed douche i still would've rode his pink pony.

if i was single.

which i'm not.

just sayin'.

<3

Hernandez Family said...

Where did you meet this winner?

I thought there was gonna be a big "surprise" in the toilet if you know what I mean.

Eve said...

Heehee... Wow.
He was lucky to get that first date.
I would have immediately closed the door in his face after seeing the wife beater (and if I managed to get a look at the car in that short amount of time, the door closing would have been followed by a phone call to the cops, because obviously something is just not right with this guy)! ;)

Megan said...

LMAO!! That's Hawt!!

Karin Katherine said...

There are just no words....

Stacy Uncorked said...

You are such a lucky girl. I think he's a keeper. ;)

The Green Family said...

Holy shiz.

Grace Matthews said...

Hey that looks like my bathroom he is standing in....

Fellow Blog Hopper:)

Julia said...

OMG. Well at least he has nice arms...

But the uncontrolled texting is rather disturbing.

Who's got your back Kel?

yulz said...

taking notes :p

Amy said...

Makes me wonder....what would be better? Becoming a lesbian, or becoming a nun?

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Umm did you at least rub those arms a bit?

Kasey said...

Oh man! You are getting all sorts of entertainment and excitement now aren't ya!!! lol

WhisperingWriter said...

That flexing picture makes me laugh.

Sodermoto said...

Wow, there are so many winners out there!

AmyLK said...

You go girl! You know how to attract the best! Lol

Aleta said...

First thing I thought of when I saw the headless picture - he must be ugly as sin! Sorry, that's mean but .. Really?

That boy (can't call him a man) wasn't raised right! Ugh - the entire post about his behavior - Ugh! And... NEXT!

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Life with Kaishon said...

Get the heck out of the city.
The rusty impala would have done it for me though. That is one fine driving machine... : )

Synergy Girl said...

I especially like that he totally flexed in his sexy(?) bathroom with the toilet...and the trash...HA...guess it fits...!!!

Sara said...

Wow. You are a lucky girl. Maybe go for a chubby IT guy next time? Give the chubs a chance? ;)

LOL The arms are killer, though.

Orr's said...

Why isn't Lances 'bitchen' pic up!

Queenie Jeannie said...

You found a single, straight, hot guy and he's a total dud??? Major bummer!!

Dating sucks. But it's great blog fodder!!!!

I LOVE YOU!

I sent your card to your old address. I didn't have your new one...*hint, hint*.