Thursday, April 29, 2010

Permission For An Ass Kickin

Will someone please come and kick my ass?

I'm in desperate need of some motivation right now.

*When I originally wrote the first sentence of this post I accidentally wrote kiss instead of kick. I guess either one would work.

Thanks so much.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Four Point Ooooooh

Yeah, she got a 4.00 in her first semester of Nursing School.

I couldn't believe it either.

Especially because she is psychotic and has decided to run a half marathon! I think she's in the running for the Athlete-Mother-Student-Wife-Sister-Daughter-Aunt-Of-The-Year award.

More reason to hate her.

In other news...I won tickets from Seven Clown Circus to the Casual Blogger Conference!

I'm Going to the CBC!I'm Going to the CBC!I'm Going to the CBC!


Me? At a blogger conference? I know, I can't believe that either. But hey, it's in Utah, how lucky is that?

So Lindee and I will be hangin out there May 28th & 29th so you MUST come. We're also going to the Girl's Night Out on May 27th to enjoy Mani's, Pedi's, and massages!

Anybody else going? We just need to know because Lindee promised to bring gifts for everyone going.

Yeah, she wants to add Blogger-Of-The-Year to her title.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I Like Boys Who Like Boys

Well it was nice to sleep in my own bed last night after I've been away for work in a nice little mining town in Nevada. Sounds exciting no? Well the highlight was hanging out with my drunk bosses at the hotel casino. Drunk bosses are the best bosses, very entertaining and you definitely learn a lot!

Good times.

I'm pretty sure I got all the smoke smell out of my hair now so I'm no longer a walking cigarette. Gotta love the casinos.


This morning I heard this story on the radio and it made me so sad and so mad at the same time. I looked it up online to check it out for myself and I still can't believe it.

Two elderly men, Clay and Harold, have been partners for 20 years. Though they were never married, they had all their legal paperwork in place naming the other for such things as beneficiaries, medical decisions, etc.

Harold, 88, fell down the stairs in front of the men's home and was taken to the hospital. The hospital workers refused to let Clay, 77, to see Harold at all when legally he should have been the first person consulted about Harold's health.

That right there pissed me off, but here's the sad part. While Harold was in the hospital, the county fought for conservatorship of their estate, saying that Clay was just his "roommate"! The court only allowed the county limited access, but the county was able to take their home, their vehicles, and all their assets!

Not only that but the county put Clay in a nursing home against his will and denied his requests to see his partner. After three months of this separation, Harold died! Clay was never allowed to see Harold before he died! They've been together 20 years!

Can you believe that? The only thing Harold has left is one photo album.


Clay was finally released from the nursing home, thanks to his lawyer, but as of yesterday, he has not been able to get back any of his possessions that the county just auctioned off!

Can you imagine losing your partner and everything the two have you have owned together? Everything that reminds you of them? It just makes me sick. Seriously, what is wrong with giving gay and lesbian couples the same rights as straight married couples?

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh! It makes me so mad that people get treated like this, what is this world coming to?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

How To Lose 10 Pounds In One Day

First I just want to thank everybody for your kind words and sympathies about losing Dozer. You guys really have helped me deal. It makes me happy to think that he and his brother Bain are now running around together in heaven causin mischief. Dang cuties!

I'm also thankful I still have my darling gay kitties that make me smile every day.


My sister has found a great weight loss plan, she lost 10 pounds in one day!


Don't believe me? Check it out, here is Lindee before:

And here she is after:

How did she do it?

She cut off a FOOT of her massive mane of thick luscious locks! If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Lindee in person, you can't really appreciate how THICK her hair is. It's ridiculous. Her hair was down to her butt at the age of two. I fricken hate her.

But she is fricken cute. She's America's next top model ya know, she's a natural.

Here is the giant trying on my extremely high sandals.

Did you know that she is 6 feet tall? Yeah, you thought I was tall, well my younger sister beats me by two inches.

I won't even get into the size of her enormous feet. I'll just say that my sandals are now stretched out and fall off my size 8 1/2 feet. Al refers to the monsters as skis.

It's quite accurate really.

Now I'll leave you with what Logan and I do best. Makin silly faces.

Thanks for playing, please come again.

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Little Boy

Last week was the worst week of my life. Through all the shit I've dealt with in my life I can honestly say that last week topped them all as the worst ever. The universe decided to chuck anything and everything it could right in my direction, but among everything that happened I'd like to talk about Thursday night.

My awesome lil sis knew I was having an awful week so she came over Thursday night with Logan to cheer me up. She is my life saver I don't know what I'd do without that girl and seeing Logan's smiling face can't help but put a little cheer in my heart.

The night was fun, I actually forgot about the mess in my life for a few hours. Logan of course immediately wanted to give Dozer treats. Logan knows all the commands and hand signs to use with Dozer. He'll have him sit, lay down, put the treat on his nose and balance it there until he says "okay"!

I love it and of course Dozer loves it too.

We all got to bed a bit late that night and as I was lying awake in the dark I could hear Dozer whining at my door. Which was normal because he always wants to come and sleep on our bedroom. Usually he will give up after a couple of minutes but this time he didn't.

I opened the door thinking that he probably had to go to the bathroom. He was lying on the ground panting and whining. He gets pretty excited when we have guests over so I convinced myself that that's all it was and I let him outside. It was about one in the morning by this time.

After I let Dozer back in he began to pace around the house then try to lay down in his bed but he'd immediately get back up and pace around again. I tried to calm him down and pet him because that's usually all he wants when he doesn't want to go to bed, just to be loved.

I decided to lay on the couch to see if he would calm down and go to sleep. Well, he didn't and soon he started going downstairs and coming back up and whimpering. I went downstairs and found that he had been throwing up a foamy white substance.

I freaked.

"Ok" I thought, "Something is definitely wrong, I'm not just being paranoid anymore." I didn't care what time it was, I finally decided to wake Al up and ask him what to do. His dad is our Vet and Alex has worked as a vet tech in the past so he knows what to do.

I felt Dozer's belly and realized it was bloated and extremely tight. We took him to the hospital right away. I could tell he was in so much pain it was hard not to cry. We arrived at about 2 in the morning and the doctor on call immediately got him back for x-rays.

Alex's suspicions were right, Dozer had a twisted stomach. Apparently it is very common with large chested dogs. To fix the problem they have to do surgery and untwist his stomach and then stitch it in a way that won't allow it to twist again.

Alex called his Dad to come do the surgery. I was so grateful that I was able to stay with Dozer the whole time which wouldn't be possible of course if Alex's dad wasn't his vet. It was a common surgery and Alex said Dozer should be just fine.

They began prepping Dozer and got him hooked up to an IV, and the surgery finally started at about 4 in the morning. My mom-in-law and I were able to watch the surgery from right outside the door of the operating room. Dozer has never done well under anesthesia so they had to monitor his heart beat closely because it would skip from time to time.

At about 6:30 or so I went to the restroom and when I came back to the operating room everyone was just standing around looking at me. Alex came over and I saw that his eyes were red and wet. His voice broke as he said "He didn't make it" and he took me in his arms.

I didn't believe it, I was just here and he was fine. How is it possible? He was going to be fine. All I could do is shake my head in disbelief, I refused to accept it. Finally I broke down and went limp in Al's arms as he guided me back to his dad's office for a some privacy.

We cried.

And cried.

Just like I am crying now. Dozer was our child, my little boy how could he be gone? Just like that? Just hours ago he was happy as can be, I just couldn't understand.

During the surgery, Dozer went from good to bad within 15 seconds and they did everything they possibly could do to revive him but his heart was too weak and it just gave out on him. Dozer was just too old and his heart couldn't handle the stress.

I feel pretty empty right now, kind of like I am floating around and life isn't really real. There is a hole in my heart. Every time I walk through the front door I expect this black drooling mass to come running at me knocking me over. He was always happy to see me. I miss him terribly.

Every time I'm at home and hear a dog bark I run to the back door by habit to tell Dozer to be quite. I wake up in the morning expecting to wake his lazy ass up and drag him outside. I arrive home from work and expect to see him whining from behind the fence begging for me to let him back inside.

I finally cleaned my house yesterday. All of his hair is gone. That annoying coarse black hair that I hated to clean up is gone and for the first time I wish it would come back.

I'm going to miss finding slobber on the walls.

I'm going to miss cleaning up dirty paw prints on the kitchen floor.

I'm going to miss finding his bones buried in the laundry basket or in the corner of the room.

I'm going to miss taking him on walks and having everyone ask me "Who's walking who?"

I'm going to miss all the bruises, scrapes and scabs that I get while playing soccer with him in the back yard.

I'm going to miss cuddling with him while I watch a movie.

I'm going to miss yelling at him to get off the damn couch.

I'm going to miss the scraps of toilet paper that I find around the house or the chewed up can of tuna that he pulled out of the trash.

I'm going to miss those brown puppy dog eyes pleading with me for just one scrap of food.

I'm going to miss how excited he gets when I put on my tennis shoes because he thinks he is going on a walk when in fact I am just going to the gym.

I'm going to miss him growling at Smokey when he gets too close to his bone.

I'm going to miss asking him "Where's your baby?" and having him go looking until he finds his stuffed animal baby and brings it back to me.

Most of all I am going to miss the unconditional love that he always had for me.

We love and miss you Dozer.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Pouchee

No, I don't mean pouchee as in the belly fat hanging over my pants. This is something completely different, and a lot more fun to talk about (and look at).

Okay everyone, your house isn't the only thing that needs Spring cleaning. I dare all of you out there to take a look into your purse, I bet there's a million receipts, makeup, cadburry eggs, and keys. Okay maybe the Cadburry egg is just me, but just admit it, your purse is unorganized.

I'm ashamed to say that mine was too so I did a little purse Spring cleaning with my new best friend,

The Pouchee!

Okay, check this out, the pouchee is a purse organizer where you can keep all of your purse necessities neatly organized so you can always find what you're looking for. Plus, when the mood strikes you to change your purse, the pouchee transfers easily from purse to purse.

I chose the Evening Plum Outback Pouchee, isn't it purdy?

Check out all the crap you can fit nicely into the cute little pouchee. It has a spot for everything! Plus pouchee is just really fun to say.

I could even fit a couple cadburry eggs in there too because you'll never know when you'll need a cadburry egg.

You want pouchee? Well you can havee!

Pouchee is offering their first online discount coupon that gives you 10% off your entire order, you know, because you'll probably have to buy 10 of these to share with your friends. So here is the secret code to get your savings:


So go check them out, they come in all sorts of colors and materials to fit any one's style.

Pouchee Purse Organizer

They even have pouchees for the consoles in your car and the pouchee plus! You can also find them on facebook where they keep you up to date on new deals and giveaways.

The nice peeps at Pouchee gave me my very own Pouchee to try out. I didn't recieve any other form of compensation and this post is based on my own opinion.

Me heart pouchee peeps.

Friday, April 2, 2010


Me: "That's weird, you've got a hair growing right on your ear lube!"

Hubster: "On my what?"

Me: "Right there on your ear lube."

Hubster: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah, look."

Hubster: "Really Poob?"

Me: "I'm serious!"

Hubster: "Ok, you're right, I have hair on my ear LUBE. I have two ear LUBES. We all have two ear LUBES. My ear LUBE has a hair on it. "

Me: " I know, that's what I'm sayin!"

Hubster: "It's LOBE Poob, ear LOBE!"

Me: "Oh."