Friday, July 31, 2009

She Is SO Dead

I'm back from Powell, bummer I know. But before I post anything about my trip I must take care of some business first.

It's personal so I won't reveal too many details but I do need to ask you for a favor. Can anyone give me an alibi for tonight?

Just curious.

Oh, and if you don't hear from a certain someone, her disappearance has nothing to do with this.

Never, ever, ever give your sister your blog username and password.


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Let's Chick Chat!

Yay! It's Chick Chat time again with the 3 Baby Chicks!

This weeks episode is all about sisters! Which I happen to know alot about, especially about how to be the best damn sister in the world. Because I am the best damn sister in the world. Don't let Lin or Lyse tell you otherwise.

WARNING: Unbeknownst to me, there is a bit of profanity via sign language in this vlog so you may want to close your eyes about 1:26 minutes in. Oh, and I had to record this right after I went to my high school reunion, so please excuse my outfit.

So here for your viewing pleasure are me and my two younger sisters:

So everyone go over to Lin's blog and let her know how lucky she is to have me as an older sister.


And then go check out the other sisters participating in this weeks Chick Chat:

Better in Bulk &
The Hatchers and their Hatchling

The Arthur Clan &
Happy Chaos

Joan of All Trades &
My Life...A Work In Progress

(I've fooled you all, I'm actually on vacation right now in Lake Powell! WOOT! I am pretty smart and was able to set an auto post for today, so there! I'll be gone until July 31st so don't worry if you don't hear from me until then. And try not to get too jealous.)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

To All my Fans

This is Kelly's personal assistant Lindee. I am blogging today on Kelly's blog because she made the mistake of giving me her login information. Lots of things crossed my mind while deciding what to write. I decided against an embarrassing story about her because, well, she tell everyone them anyway. Then I decided I would promote my blog link in wherever possible but that is lame and would go against my blogging beliefs.

Initially I am supposed to let all you loyal bloggy readers that she is in Lake Powell and will be blogging next week!

Instead I'm going to tell you about Kelly before Blogging world. Kelly is my big sister by 6 years. She taught me many things throughout my life, next week we will be posting a video of Kelly, Alyse and I talking about being sisters with eachother. She really is the best sister, she helped me plan my entire wedding! Here is a picture of her at her wedding!

She was a very talented dancer and I always wanted her flexability.

She taught me the essentials of getting guys and how to dress sexy.

Next week Kelly will be back, I hope you all are learning good things from her like I did. Have fun in Lake Powell Kel, where you are miles away from a computer!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

All My Peeps From High School Who Either Read This Blog Or Who Are Blog Stalking, This Is For You.

My 10 year high school reunion has come and gone. It was fun but disappointing at the same time. Out of the 700 people in my high school class, only this many fuzzy lookin people showed up:

Albert took the pictures. I love ya hon, but the pictures suck butt.

So to everyone out there that COULD have made it to the reunion and just chose not too, you suck and I hate you. Ok, I don't hate you but you better come to the next one or else I'll have to hunt you down and spit in your cheerios.

It was so fun to reconnect with friends that I haven't seen for 10 years. It's amazing how people change but even more amazing how people don't change at all.

My best friend DeAnna is about the only person who I've kept in touch with throughout the 10 years. We were roommates in college and I don't think we will ever lose touch with each other. Here she is with her husband and high school sweetheart Josh.

And here they are 10 years ago. I still can't believe De got him to dress up with her.

Don't ask.

The big surprise of the night was when De and I were eating our salad and someone came up behind us and whispered,

"What, you didn't save me a seat?"

We turned around and squealed like little girls when we saw who it was.

(I'm the extremely white one in the middle, it's okay, I'm used to it)

Our long lost friend Denise!!! Seriously, this girl must be related to Houdini or something because just as soon as we are back in touch with her, she changes her cell phone and disappears again!

Here's the three of us 10 years ago.

Oh the stories I could tell about these girls!

The three of us were best friends from Junior High through high school. Ky (above on right) was a year younger than us so she is excused from not coming to the reunion but her husband however is not. We missed you Spencer and Ky!

Back to the reunion, behold Amy shows up in all her sexiness, she was my 5th grade BFF. I think De is trying to make out with her, or a least cop a feel.

I tried to find some pics from high school of Amy but couldn't find any. I did however find some from 5th grade. So here ya go Amy, you can thank me later for this one!

She's the witch in the bottom pic, and for those of you that were curious about my cactus costume, there it is in the top left corner.

Here's some more of my girlies, Lacey (second from right) was just hilarious that night. She is a fellow tree so of course we had to stand next to each other in the pic. I love her tall ass!

And I got some cute pics from our table at the reunion:

See? Albert was there and was extremely happy about that can't you tell? He didn't complain one bit and definitely didn't text Kevin to let him know that he was sitting through his worst nightmare. He loved every minute of it.

Ok so below we have Shane and his wife. I am still planning on kicking Shane's ass.

Why? Well, the reunion committee had everyone fill out a questionnaire about themselves and turn it in to them. They then would read the questionnaire out loud, into the microphone that wasn't working, and made each person stand up as they read about them. Denise and I thought we dodged the bullet by not turning in our papers.

Well, after all questionnaires were read, Shane took it upon himself to announce that they had missed me and Denise. So we both had to stand up and introduce ourselves anyway, which was even more embarrassing than if we would have just turned in our papers.

Shane, you've been warned!

Now I want to leave you with all the no shows from the reunion. At least all the no shows that I had pictures of. Most of these pics are from the Senior All night party. So everyone that didn't show, you deserve this.

Everyone else, I couldn't find pics of you however your butts were missed too!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Helping Cure Fugliness, One Blog At A Time

You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

That's you! All you out there with fugly blogs need to listen up. So I entered this contest at Blogalicious Designs for a total blog makeover and by using a combination of my telepathy and "the force" I was able to win that sucka! Which is why I have this lovely new look and navigation.

I'm gonna go all pop radio on you and give a "shout out" to Stephanie and Staci, the masterminds behind blogalicious designs.

Can I tell you that I am annoying as hell and the most indecisive person on this side of the Mississippi and these girls not only put up with me, but went out of their way to assure my blog was exactly the way I wanted.

And now they want to share the love with YOU! So here's what they will do for you:

You will receive $20 off any blog makeover package! All you need to do is mention Grand Pooba when you contact them.

They also have gone all high tech with a cool new feature, Rotating Headers. Can't make up your mind on a header? Well this allows you to add additional headers which will change each time your page is refreshed. Pretty Cool eh? And they are only $12 each!

So get your booty over to Blogalicious Designs and become a follower, you won't regret it peeps!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Child Was Born, The World Rejoiced, And There Was Peace Throughout The Land

Date: July 3, 1981
Time: 11:45 PM
Event: A glorious human being was brought into this world

Date: July 4, 1981
Time: 10:00 PM
Event: The world celebrated with fire in the sky

And you thought it was to celebrate independence, shows what you know.

Date: July 3, 2009
Time: 4:30 PM

She wanted cupcakes.

She got cupcakes.

And she was happy.

She wanted Armenian Yogurt Soup.

She got Armenian Yogurt Soup.

And she was happy.

She wanted chocolate cake.

She got chocolate cake.

And she was happy.

And there was peace throughout the land.

Yes, it's a tale as old as time. Well, 28 years old at least. And if you haven't guessed, that NOT SO glorious human being is me and I am now 28 years old.

10 things I've accomplished in my 28 years

1. Ate dog food at the age of 4 thanks to a sweet older brother.
2. Eaten 10,331.5 bowls of cold cereal.
3. Had a bird poop on my head.
4. Participated in 14 piano recitals.
5. Dressed up as a cactus 2 times.
6. Kissed __ boys and __ girls.
7. Fallen in love.
8. Participated in 9 ballet recitals, 2 Nutcracker ballets, 12 high school drill team competitions, 2 college drill team competitions, and 4 solo competitions.
9. Laughed so hard that my dairy queen milkshake squirted out my nose.
10. Been a pizza maker, a waitress, a telemarketer, an at home data entry employee, a customer service rep, a money market operator, a student, an accountant, and a wife.

Monday, July 13, 2009

You Can Learn A Lot From TV

I was trying to keep my eyes open Friday night while lying on Andrea's couch when a comedian on TV caught my interest. We had just eaten dinner at Mikados and returned to Kevin & Andrea's house for some action packed card games, which didn't actually happen because Andrea fell asleep.

Okay, okay, it was me alright? I fell asleep. I ruined the evening okay? Don't act like you're surprised.

But back to the comedian. Before I dozed off this comedian went into a bit about his relationship with his wife and married couples in general. It seems that women are constantly battling to get their husbands to help out more around the house.

Um, duh!

He relayed a story about when he was a bachelor sharing an apartment with his roommates and how much easier it was to get them to clean. All he had to do was walk into the living room while his roommate was watching TV and say:

"Hey Dick! Do the the dishes!"

The roommate would say "Hey, who ya callin a dick?" on his way to the kitchen and guess what? He would do the dishes every time. So the comedian suggested that this is the way wives need to get their husbands to do the dishes, instead of whining and yelling and talking about it over and over.

Fast forward to Saturday morning

I'm making the bed when I look over at the mountain of Al's stuff that has accumulated on our dresser. He uses the dresser as his "catch all" space and it has been slowly driving me insane. I cringe at the site of all his receipts, paper, books, coins, golf tees, used condoms, and hats.

I'm kidding people, there are no books, why would Al have any books?

So Al gets home from golfing and thinks that he is going to start playing video games. Ya know, like ya do after golfing.

Golfing is hard.

I am now in the kitchen thinking, no way in hell is he gonna sit and play video games when there is a dresser sitting there taunting me with it's filthiness! So I casually stroll past the bedroom and say,

"Hey Dick! Clean off the dresser!"

And then I continue on my way. Minutes later, the dresser is spotless.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009

Don't Be Scared

Changes are coming to my blog so don't be scared.

Just know that I still love you and you are in the right place. And don't worry, change is good, you will no longer have to look at my hubster's HUGE forehead.

Al, you can thank the girls at Blogalicious Designs for that.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Man Card? What Man Card?

The second day of our vacation is what I like to call "Bad Ass Biker Babes Day". We rolled out of bed, put on our mean Harley gear, and left for an all day long Harley ride.

We road into what the Californians like to call "mountains" but in reality they were just hills, or little bumps if you will. (Come on, I live in UTAH!)

First stop was Hell's Kitchen where the service is awful, the food is mediocre and the testosterone level is off the charts.

I always knew I'd go to Hell, I just didn't know it would be so soon.

After breakfast we wanted to go riding by the beach so we had to take the freeway to get there. Unfortunately the freeway looked like this:

Before we got on the freeway, Lyman (Dennelle's fiance) asked Alex if he was okay with "white lining". Not being able to hear over the roar of the engines, Alex thought Lyman asked if he was okay with "sharing lanes" to which he replied "YES".

When we entered the freeway all was well until Lyman started driving on the white line in between cars.

Apparently this is common in California but I had never seen it before. As I sat on the back of the bike I watched the mirrors on our motorcycle pass inches away from the mirrors on the cars. This is about the point when I started to freak out. We were going pretty fast and the cars were at a slow steady roll and drivers would change lanes out of no where in front of us.

My jaw was locked, my body went stiff and I knew that if I was going to make it through this I would have to shut my eyes. So that's what I did, the whole freeway trip I was wincing, keeping my eyes closed, my jaw shut and my body stiff.

Yep, I was that constipated chick on the back of the bike.

The freeway ride from hell seemed to last for an eternity but we finally arrived at the beach in one piece. Lyman said Alex did a great job white lining, I wouldn't have known, I was just trying not to pee my pants. Once at the beach I was finally able to breathe and relax.

But my jaw is still sore.


Wait, I don't think you get it, I mean we rode ALL. DAY. LONG. on a rental with a standard seat. Not the comfy cushy seat that our bike at home has, this one was like sitting on a burning slate of steal and I swear to you that to this day my butt still hasn't forgiven me, possibly never will.

In the morning we were able to ride through the wine country on our way to return the rental. Don't be fooled by my smile and helmet hair, my butt was killing me and threatening to disown me.

Now don't be afraid of this next picture, just don't pay attention to the bulging veins on my forehead. They show up often and are shaped in a Y, which I think is one of the reasons my mom decided to end my name with a Y instead of an I. I'm sure of it.

After dropping off the bike we were able to get in two more wineries before we had to fly home. The first one was really fun, not the best wine, but fun none the less.

Wilson Creek Winery & Vineyards

It was really fun inside and beautiful outside.

The last winery was Leonesse Cellars which had fantastic wines!

One of Dennelle's friends was able to make it out with us. I'm not even going to comment about the tall monster in the middle, I don't like to focus on such things, besides I was crouching down anyway.

I love this picture of Lyman.

"Mmmmmm, crackers!"

So that's about it, after that we headed to the airport to catch our flight back to Utah. Lyman and Alex had become such good friends during the trip that they both cried a little after saying goodbye with a man hug. They'll both deny it but Dennelle and I know the truth.

They both got a punch out of their man card for that one.