Heaven Called and They Want Their Rolls Back

Imagine waking up Saturday morning to the sweet aroma of fresh from the oven cinnamon rolls.






That right there is heaven to me. Well, it could be hell if I couldn't actually EAT those cinnamon rolls, but I pray to God that will never happen. And God loves me so I think I'm safe.



I don't know what's been wrong with me lately but I've been baking up a storm of bread, cookies, bagels, cakes, and cinnamon rolls. I just can't stop myself. Ok, I haven't really tried to stop myself but I'm sure I couldn't if I tried, I'm pretty stubborn that way.



And this has not made Albert happy either. He can't eat anything I cook so basically that hell situation I explained above is his reality.



Albert: "Why can't you be obsessed with cooking something I can actually eat like chicken and potatoes?"



Me: "Um, because that is boring and gross and you can't snack on that while you're baking it! There's no spatula or bowl covered in sweet batter waiting to be licked afterwards. Sheesh."



So my coworkers have received most of the benefits of my baking obsession, and sadly, the hubster has not.



Okay so are you still staring at those cinnamon rolls above wondering how the hell you can get them from your screen into your watering mouth? Well wipe off your chin and put on your apron because I've got the recipe to share with you!



I promise I'm not trying to make all of you fat.



Just most of you.



And as I've told you before, I'm a pretty messy cook!





This time I managed to keep myself clean but Dozer wasn't so lucky.





Oops. He wasn't too happy with me.

Okay so here's the recipe for all you fatties!




DAMN GOOD CINNAMON ROLLS


*I only made half the recipe which made 25 rolls. The full recipe makes 50! I'm not a big fan of maple frosting, so I also made a regular glaze frosting too which was delish. A cream cheese frosting would be excellent as well!


Recipe is from The Pioneer Woman Cooks.
Pictures are, well, mine.


Dough
1 Quart whole milk
1 Cup vegetable oil
1 C sugar
2 Packages (4 ½ t) active dry yeast
9 Cups flour
1 Heaping teaspoon baking powder
1 Scant teaspoon baking soda
1 Tablespoon salt








Filling
2 C Melted butter, plus more as needed
¼ C Ground cinnamon for sprinkling
2 Cups Sugar









Maple Icing
2 lbs Powdered sugar
½ C Whole milk
6 Tablespoon (3/4 stick) Butter, melted
¼ C Strongly brewed coffee
Dash of salt
1 Tablespoon maple flavoring or maple extract






1. For the dough, heat milk, vegetable oil and sugar in a medium saucepan over medium heat; do not allow the mixture to boil. Set aside and cool to lukewarm






2. Sprinkle the yeast on top and let it sit on the milk for 1 minute.






3. Add 8 cups of the flour. Stir until just combined, cover with a clean kitchen towel, and set aside in a relatively warm place for 1 hour.






4. Remove the towel and add the baking powder, baking soda, salt, and the remaining 1 C flour, Stir thoroughly to combine. Use the dough right away, or place in a mixing bowl and refrigerate for up to 3 days, punching down the dough if it rises to the top of the bowl.






5. To assemble the rolls, remove half the dough from the pan. On a floured baking surface, roll the dough into a large rectangle, about 30x10 inches






6. To make the filling, pour 1 cup of the melted butter over the surface of the dough. Use your fingers to spread the butter evenly.






7. Generously sprinkle half of the ground cinnamon and 1 cup of the sugar over the butter. Don’t be afraid to drizzle on more butter or more sugar!






8. Now, beginning at the end farthest from you, roll the rectangle tightly toward you. Use both hands and work slowly, being careful to keep the roll tight.






9. When you reach the end, pinch the seam together. When you’re finished, you’ll wind up with one long buttery, cinnamony, sugary, gooey log.






10. Transfer to a cutting board and with a sharp knife, make 1 ½ inch slices. One log will produce 20 to 25 rolls. (I use a peace of thread so that the rolls don't get smashed!)






11. Pour a couple of tablespoons of melted butter into to the desired pie pans or baking dishes and swirl to coat. I used two 13x9 inch pans for half of the recipe which made 25 rolls! The full recipe will make 50! Place the sliced rolls in the pans, being careful not to over crowd






12. Repeat the rolling/sugar/butter process with the other half of the dough and more pans. Preheat oven to 375 degrees cover the pans with a kitchen towel and set aside to rise on the counter top for at a least 20 min before baking.






13. Remove the towel and bake for 13 to 17 min, until golden brown. Don’t allow rolls to become overly brown.







Maple Frosting:

14. In a large bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, milk, butter, coffee and salt.


15. Splash in the maple flavoring


16. Whisk until very smooth. Taste and add in more maple, sugar, butter or other ingredients. As needed until the icing reaches the desired consistency. The icing should be thick but still pourable.




17. While the rolls are still warm, generously drizzle icing over the top. Be sure to get it all around the edges and over the top. Now I'm not a big fan of maple so I made half of the cinnamon rolls with a powdered sugar/milk/butter/vanilla frosting.






18. As they sit, the rolls will absorb some of the icing’s moisture and flavor.


Eat em while their hot!

I'm Bad

Oh so very bad.

Please don't tell my ass.

The Reason For My Ever Expanding Waistline

My mom-in-law, sis-in-laws and I have been taking cooking classes together for over a year now. We do it for our monthly or biweekly girls night. Gotta love the GNO. We are very lucky to take them from Margaruite Henderson and we absolutely love it!


The classes are set up in an intimate atmosphere at Marguerite's home, she plans the menu in advance and gives us all a copy of the recipes to refer to as she cooks. We arrive to beautifully arranged appettizers displayed with gorgeous dishes and serving utensils. Rivaling such dexterity and finnesse of my precious Bree Van de Kamp.


Someone usally brings wine, which is a big plus, and then we sit back and relax while she cooks up a storm.


She is, without exception, the best chef ever. And the cutest.





We have learned so much from her, not only does she teach us how to cook the recipes given, but she also shares her insider chef secrets like how to know when a certain fruit is ripe, the most sufficient way to extract the juice from a lemon, the finest cutting techniques and the best cookware to use.


And my favorite part of the class?


Eating the food.


Of course everything she makes is to die for. The classes are 3 hours long and she makes anywhere from 5 to 7 dishes so you want to arrive hungry. Pacing yourself is the key, which is hard to do when every single dish implores you to have seconds and thrids. (And fourths)


By the time the class is over we've all split our pants and Marguerite has to roll us out the door. Seriously, you leave VERY satisfied, plus you get to take the leftovers home to the hubster.





The last class that we attended was called,

Fabulous February Fromage:

Cheese Fantastico! Big flavors in Puff Pastry Pizzas, Panini with Comte and Ham, Creamy Pasta with Four Cheeses, Beehive Cheddar Biscotti with Walnuts and a lemon blueberry torte!

Oh man. A class all about cheese? It was meant for me, I just know it.


Here we all are pre-pant splitting condition. From left to right: McKell, Rachael, Sharon, Cris & Me.

Marguerite persisted to take 5 pictures of us because she said Cris kept turning out too dark in each one. So we'd try to scoot Cris forward into the light and I would try to scoot back.





Um, no Margaurite, she just looks extremely dark because she IS extremely dark. And of course it doesn't help that she's sitting next to the pearly albino.

Nope, still dark.


I'm pathetic.

D'oh!

There's nothing like a fresh loaf of bread. Straight out of the oven, glistening with butter, it's enough to make me swoon.


Homemade bread was my first love you know. I used to make bread all the time growing up but sadly, I haven't even attempted it since I've been married. I love baking.


(And not just for the excuse to wear an apron).


I've been thinking about bread a lot lately and the relationship we once had and last Sunday I thought it was about time I rekindle our flame!


I baked bread.


Everything was going well. The apron, the ingredients, the Kitchen Aid.




Oh yeah,

the Kitchen Aid.


I've never made bread with a Kitchen Aid before. I guess it's not made to hold 9 cups of flour.


That became apparent only after the sheet of flour erupted, covering everything within 2 feet of it's premises.







Just a small set back, but this scene is not unfamiliar to me. My husband knows that when I'm baking in the kitchen it's always best to stay out until I'm finished.


It gets messy.


Real messy.


So I ended up kneading the dough by hand and everything was fine.




After the dough raised, and after Al just HAD to punch it down eleven times, it was time to roll it out.





I divided the dough in two, one for a plain loaf and one for my personal favorite, a cinnamon loaf!


You've always got to make at least one cinnamon loaf.


Always.


For the cinnamon goodness, you brush the dough with butter.





And cover it with cinnamon and sugar.


A ton of cinnamon and sugar. The more the better.




Then, you roll it up and throw it in a loaf pan.




Doesn't that look perfect? Wow, I didn't realize I still had it in me but, as you can see, that is one perfect rolled pile of dough!


I was excited, everything was going great. In the oven it went and filled my house with the smell of warm cinnamon and sugar.


Mmmmmm...


And then out of the oven came the most perfect loaf:






Mwwaaahh!






Okay okay, that's not how mine turned out at all.


More like this lumpy pile if crap:




(As you can see, I'm a little rusty at the whole rolling up and pinching shut thing.)





Oh bread. Why must our love be a one way street? I love you so much yet you still find it necessary to embarrass me.


So now I feel the need to redeem myself. I want to make the most perfect loaf of bread ever, but I need the perfect bread recipe. One that is tried and true.


Tried. And. True.


I know you've got the recipe I'm looking for so com'on,


SPILL IT.

I Wasn't Kidding, I Really Am A Sinner

I walked into Harmons last night to pick up some powdered sugar (to feed my new addiction, Muddy Buddies) and my prescriptions. I go through the check out line and pay for my goods then I head over to the pharmacy. While waiting in line I realize that I need some band aids so I grab a box to have the pharmacy add it to my "tab".


I stood in line for about 2 years and totally forgot about the band aids, even though they were still in my hand. Without thinking I set the band aids down on the counter when it's my turn to give my arm and leg for my prescriptions (Hence the band aids).


The pharmacist must not have noticed because he didn't ring them up. So when I was done, I grabbed the band aids with the one arm I had left and hopped out of the store. Not even realizing that I totally just stole the band aids.


And yes, I did realize this after I started driving out of the parking lot. Did I turn around to go back and pay for them?


No.


Why? Because it was like double negative degrees outside and the Utah Health Dudes said that we should avoid going outdoors because of the current air quality. Was risking my life worth 3 bucks?


I'm pretty sure I'm worth more than 3 bucks. I'd say 10 at least.


So now I owe Harmons $3.


Anyone have any spare change?

Wait, You Mean Pilgrims Weren't Mormon?

Al and I stuffed our faces at his parent's house for Thanksgiving this year.


My favorite thing about Thanksgiving at my in-law's is the table. Isn't it beautiful?






When I grow up and actually have a dining room of my own, I'm gonna keep my table decorated just like this. All year long.


And of course when I grow up to be a big girl I will also have one of these and keep it decorated all year long:



But for now I'll just live vicariously through my sis-in-law. Aren't they adorable?



Al and I were the last ones to arrive, which of course was Alex's fault, not mine. He takes special showers ya know. So everything was pretty much ready to go by the time we arrived.


Here is my mom-in-law (or Damma, as Ava calls her) and her mom (Grandma Nancy) putting the salad together. We were so glad that Grandma Nancy was able to spend Thanksgiving with us.




And not just because she makes the best clam chowder, although that's a big plus. I don't know how this tradition started, but Alex's family always has clam chowder for their Thanksgiving appetizer. ALWAYS. I have no idea why.


Ok, now I've got myself all curious about it too.


Cris? Why do you always have clam chowder for Thanksgiving?


I'm pretty sure the pilgrims didn't have clam chowder at their dinner. Of course I'm horrible at history so I am really not the one to ask. However I have to say that there is one person who knows less about history than me, my lil sis. Which reminds me, you HAVE to hear this story!

_________________________________________________________________

*True Story*


We live in Utah. Utah has a holiday every 24th of July to celebrate the pioneers who traveled across the country to settle in Salt Lake City to create Mormon Land. My sweet sister Lindee thought that the pioneers and the pilgrims were the same thing.


That's right, she thought that pilgrims were mormons who traveled all the way to Utah to have their thanksgiving dinner with the Indians.


UTAH.


I'm pretty sure Joseph Smith was not a pilgrim.


And she didn't just think this when she was little. No, we found out about a year ago that she still believed this! Come on Lin, even I know the difference between pioneers and pilgrims. I am not lying people, this is a true story, and Lin will never hear the end of it.


I will never let her forget it.


Ever.


In fact, I will start my own family Thanksgiving tradition and tell that story to my children at the dinner table every year and we will all toast to my sister's stupidity.



Thanks Lin, I just love traditions!


_________________________________________________________________


*Okay, back to our 2009 Thanksgiving*


This is Colin, my huge 7 year old neph. I still can't believe he is SEVEN YEARS OLD. I love his toothless butt!




My Albert only has two brothers so I get to have two sisters in law. I definitely lucked out in the sister in law department. Good taste must run in the family.




Ava, being the only girl grandchild, is always the center of attention at all family get togethers. Can you blame us?






Her two older brothers, Jaxon and Colin, adore her. Here is Jaxon helping Ava dress up in her princess costumes. (She is such a girly girl, I love it!)





I love Jaxon, he is the funniest kid ever. He picked out the leg of the turkey for his thanksgiving feast and I noticed he was examining it when I went to take their picture.


He started picking off all the meat and then told me that he was just going to look at the bone. That's it. He just wanted to study the turkey bone for his dinner.


Oh man, he cracks us up!


Speaking of turkey, here is a shot of our feast.



The food and wine were delicious and after stuffing my face I took a nap.


Surprise. Surprise. Me napping. Again. It was awesome.


I will leave you now with a picture of Bert.



He likes to wear black shirts with off-black hats.


Ya can't help but love his ass.