Monday, November 30, 2009

We Are The Epitome Of Perfection When It Comes To Communication In A Relationship. Get Out A Pen, You Need To Take Notes.

Date night conversation between my husband and I in which we discuss what time we should leave for dinner.

Time: 6:45 pm

Place: The bed. Me laying on my stomach holding my head in my hands staring at the hubster. Him laying on his back, one hand behind his head, staring at his iphone.

Me: "Ok, so lets say we leave at 7:00." (Meaning he better be ready to leave at 7 o'clock)

Him: "I'll try but I have to shower."

Me: "Come on, you're a Dude." (Meaning dudes take fast showers and don't require much time get ready because, well, they're dudes.)

Him: (Thinking that when I said "You're a dude" that I meant he didn't need to take a shower. (Ew) Why he thought this I have NO idea because everyone knows it's girls who can go a day without taking a shower, not dudes. Duh.)

Him: "I went tanning" (This reply meant that he really did need to take a shower because he had gone tanning that day and was emitting a very pungent odor similar to rotten eggs and death.)

Me: "What? Why does that matter?" (Having no idea why he mentioned that he went tanning and wondering if he meant that he would have to do something special in the shower because he smelled like rotten eggs and death. Which still doesn't make sense, a shower is a shower.)

Him: Sighing, "Never mind Poob." Starts playing with his iphone.

Me: "No wait, let's recap. I said let's leave at 7:00, you said you need to take a shower, I said you're a dude meaning that you should be able to take a fast shower, you said that you went tanning. Why would you say that? It isn't even relephant!"

(Pausing, realizing I just said relephant instead of relevant.)

Him: "Really Poob?" Raising an eyebrow.

Me: "I just said relephant." Busting up laughing.

Him: "You. Dork."

Me: Tearing up, "I am hilarious. I just made up a new word, I'm the funny one!"

*Side Note: We constantly fight over who the funny one is in the relationship. I always win obviously.

Him: "No, you're not the funny one, notice you're the only one laughing?" Trying not to laugh (or cry) as I start punching him in the man boob.

rel-e-phant [rel-uh-fuh nt]

Bearing upon or connected with the matter at hand in a VERY BIG way.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Jealousy Is As Sweet As Native Honey

I guarantee you will be jealous by the time you finish reading this post.

Looky what I got!

Oh yeah, you remember when I told you about Native Honey? Well yesterday I got an original Native Honey purse of my very own! I don't mean to rub it in your face but look how cute it is?

You want one don't you?

Well Native Honey now has a kiosk open at the Fashion Place Mall in Murray Utah where you get to physically pick out your favorite handbag in person. And of course now is the perfect time to buy two (one for you and the second for me) because they are going on sale!

Starting Thanksgiving night all purses will be going on sale to 20% off WHOLESALE PRICES.

No joke. I wouldn't joke about this. The 20% sale goes from Thursday 11/25 through Sunday 11/29 and after that the handbags will be sold at WHOLESALE PRICES through Christmas!

So go check out their kiosk now before they are all gone. There is a cute girl there who is happy to help you choose the best one for you. And if you're like me (the most indecisive person in the world) you can do what I did and make her decide for you.

And of course I'm happy with "my" choice!

Ok so I realize not everyone lives in Utah. (I know, I bout died when I found out too) So if you are outside of Utah and really want one I'd be happy to go pick it up for you. And that is a big favor because it means I'll have to STEP. FOOT. INTO. A. SHOPPING. ESTABLISHMENT.

Yeah, they're that spectacular.

              The Candor:                      The Tumbleweed Canvas:

              The Original:                    The Tumbleweed Leather:

The pictures do not do them justice. I mean these purses are not kidding people, they are so well made the quality is impeccable. I wish I could hand it to you through the screen so you can see for yourself. (And to actually rub it into your face.)

I could go on and on about my new purse but I'll spare you my squealing.


Cure: A Native Honey Handbag!

Just sayin.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Team Eerie Nipple Guy? Palease.

I did it.

I saw New Moon. As I'm sure everyone else in the world did, and I'm going to blog about it. As I'm sure everyone else in the world is too.

I'm a follower, not a leader and I'm okay with that.

Now excuse me while I get my "Kate Gosselin" on and conduct my own interview by answering my own questions.

1. Did I like it? Yes.

2. Did I like it better than Twilight? Yes.

3. Do I think Edward has weird nipples? Yes.

4. Do I think Jacob has weird nipples? Hell No.

5. Did I like Jacob's wig? No.

6. Do I think that Jacob is beautiful and should be added to my "To Do" list? Yes.

7. Do I think that Jacob has a secret crush on me and is totally going to blow off Bella to come take me away to a secret house on the beach to spend many romantic nights staring into the sunset while professing his undying love for me? Hell Yes.

8. Do I think the hubster is okay with that? Of course.

Ok, raise your hand if you DID NOT switch to team Jacob after seeing that movie? You better not have your hand up.

Put your hand down DeAnna!

Edward is creepy, did you see his nipples? One is totally bigger than the other, how can you be pro eerie nipples?

If you had a choice between that and this:

Would you really choose eerie nipple guy? Didn't think so.

Still not convinced?! Okay lets compare.


Okay, now that we are all on the same team, let's continue.

Bella was not so annoying in New Moon as she was in Twilight. There was far less tourettish blinking and twitching, however I'm pretty sick of seeing her lazy eye. I bet out of the 2 hour film, 1 1/2 hours were spent pausing 2 inches away from her face. I wanted to tape her eyelid to her eyebrow so it would open all the way.

I can't stand it when things aren't even. (Hence my nipple issue.)

After Edward left I don't think the movie portrayed her depression accurately. She just looked tired, that's all. And filming her in a chair staring out the window while the camera rotates around her to indicate the changing of seasons does not sit well with me.

And actually counting down the months on screen, October, November, December...come on people, you could come up with something better than that to show the passage of time.

Just sayin.

Bella's dad? LOVE HIM. I think they got his character right on.

Vampire eyes, can we please choose a little more subtle contact lens next time? That combined with the awful vampire makeup was over the top.

Don't you know the humans are not supposed to realize that the Cullins are vampires? Either the humans in this movie were just blind or they're all dumb asses not to realize they are surrounded by undead blood sucking vampires.


And I'm not sure why Dakota Fanning was even in this movie.

That is all.


Friday, November 20, 2009

A Lesson In Photography From A Three Year Old Booger

Photos by Pooba
Age 28

Photos by Logan
Booger Picker
Age 3

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Get Your Vote On, Get into Heaven

If you don't know Karin Katherine then you are lucky you came to my blog today. I'll be expecting Thank You letters and gifts from those of you who I have enlightened.

Karin Katherine is a homeschooling genius. She is not your run of the mill mom/teacher either. I am amazed at how she teaches her children, she teaches through experience. Her children get to go on field trips and learn hands on! Her love of teaching is reflected through her children who have developed a love for learning.

You can check out her homeschool blog, Passport Academy, to see what I'm talking about. You'll fall in love with her too.

Because of her unique and successful approach to homeschooling she has been nominated for The Best Eclectic Homeschooling Award in the 2009 Homeschool Blog Awards!

That's right folks, you know what you need to do. Go vote for her! She deserves this award and I would love for her to win. So click HERE to vote for her blog Passport Academy.

P.S. I heard if you vote for her you will have good luck for the rest of your life and get a free pass into heaven. It's really a no brainer people.

P.P.S. Rob Pattinson, if you're reading this, I highly suggest you go vote to save your soul.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Rob, Jesus Hates You

Rob, I thought you were better then this. Seriously, was this a joke?

Because I didn't find it very funny. The only reason I rented this movie was because YOU were in it. I thought, Hey look, he's even pale in this movie too so it'll be just like watching Edward so it's gotta be good right?

Oh Rob, can't you see that this movie was just amateur-ish (word) and so bad that it was funny? I had to stifle my laugh to avoid hurting your precious feelings. I'm for real. I was covering my mouth and my face was so red that Dozer thought I was dying. You almost gave my dog a heart attack.


Whoever made this movie should be spanked. No, they should be shot.

Shot and killed.

Seriously, what were you thinking? I know this was made almost 5 years ago so it technically was pre-twilight, but for us here in the United States, where we actually prefer our actors to ACT in their movies, it was just released this year so we expected magic. But no, now I'm scarred Rob,


Now how do you expect me to watch New Moon this Friday and still take you seriously? I don't know if I can do it. Luckily for you your character is absent for the majority of the film, or at least should be according to the book.

I'm sorry but I think this means it's over between us.

I am SO team Jacob now and Edward can thank YOU for that.

Even Jesus is mad at you.

Repent Rob, REPENT!

Monday, November 16, 2009

I Know What You Did Last Weekend

More digiscrappin!

(You thought I was going to say that I hit a fisherman with my car and dumped his body in the water didn't you? Sorry to disappoint but Freddy Prince Jr. and I have that planned for next weekend. Stay tuned.)

I also got in a good nap this weekend, which is always a goal of mine so all and all it was a great weekend. Here are a few previews of some pages I am working on.

(I say previews because I constantly find faults in my pages and go back to change them. Like in the last two pages I forgot to put drop shadows behind the pictures, and as I learned from Tara, a drop shadow is a must!)

This is the first page I ever created.

If you can't tell, it's a picture of me, my mom, and my sisters. Can you guess which one is me? (I'll give you a hint, I'm not the mom.) I haven't written anything on it yet, I'm not sure what to write. Maybe I could just write "90's Floral Print Uncensored" or "The Lion, The Witches, and Their Wardrobe".

I haven't decided yet.

And this page features my beautiful niece Kelsi.

It's pretty simple, but I think adding anything else would be a little distracting and I wanted to keep Kelsi the focal point of the page.

And the last featured page is of my beautiful sister, Lindee.

I just want to point out that cute lace bodice in the upper right hand corner of the page. I fell in love with that bodice and have been dying to use it. And who better to relate an old fashion prostitute bodice to then Lindee?

It was a perfect match.

Friday, November 13, 2009

I Got Banged

Andrea Banged Me.



I was sitting in the salon chair and Andrea had just finished blow drying my hair. She swivels the chair around so she can get a good look at me, and says

"We need to bang you."

I tried not to laugh, but being the Virgin Mary that I am, I busted up. I'm sorry, but what would you think if you heard that? Andrea couldn't help but start laughing too.

The two old women in the station next to us were not amused. If looks could kill, we would have died right there on the spot. Pretty sure Andrea would have floated up towards the heavens and I would have been dragged down to hell,


Luckily I still got banged.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Before & After and "Someone Please Come Dress Me!"

I love before and after pictures so I just have to post some of my Dad's house. He's been remodeling for a couple months and it looks great, I am so freakin jealous. I want his house. Now.

All of these pictures were taken during parties that we were having at his house so pay no attention to the folding chairs, table cloths, food and people. They are NOT part of the remodel. Starting with the biggest upgrade, the kitchen:



Additions: New chrome appliances, marble counter top, tiled walls and new lighting.

Dining Room before:


Additions: New light, marble window ledges

The family room Before:


Additions: Marble mantel top, marble window ledges, new couch, and new decor.

The living room before:


Additions: Marble window ledges, lighting, window treatments, my sisters piano, and well, everything else.

The next pics are of his bedroom. I don't have a before picture because well, there was basically nothing in here before. So here are the after pics:

Additions: Um, everything.

Now if I could only finish cleaning out my closet so I can post some before and after pictures of that. Oh, and I need someone to come remodel me too. You should have seen what I wore to work yesterday.

Pink short sleeve v-neck sweater similar to this (except with short sleeves):

With a white tank underneath similar to this (you don't want any cleave showin at work, unless you're up for a promotion in which case no tank is required):

Charcoal pants, these exact ones:

With these black shiny boots:

Nothing matched, it was seriously like a 4 year old dressed me. There was something about the white tank and the black shoes that threw the whole outfit off. I got home from work and blamed Albert, he should know better than to let me out of the house in that.

Go ahead, you can call the fashion police, I'll even dial the phone number for you.

I seriously need someone to dress me in the morning.

I need help.