Nuts

The wait is finally over, if you haven't guessed yet, my sister is the one who is preggers!

And we finally found out on Saturday that she is having two balls and a penis!!

I guess there's a head and arms and all that other shit too.


I'm so excited to get another one of these:

Thank God for reproductive siblings.

I Sure Hope Having Babies on the Freeway Doesn't Run in the Family!

My cousin just gave birth on the Freeway!!


GO HERE TO READ STORY


What??


Why am I still in Canada right now???

Hello?

I'm in Canada land!


Again.


Filling up on Poutine.





Poutine?


Seriously?


What are you Canadians thinking?!

" There's only one minute left in my brain, time is running out! "

I think this is my favorite episode yet!






"What the freak just happened?!"




And just in case you missed episode 5





"I'm inna yotta twubble!"


(Click here for episodes 1-3)

Excuse Me . . . . . No, Not Like That. . . . .

No I didn't fart. Or burp. At least not right now....


I meant excuse me for my absence I have been in Seattle with this handsome dude...

...and now I am headed to Toronto once again for work.


So, please excuse me.




*burp*

Somebody's Been Gettin It On...

Bow-Chika-Bow-Wow!

Hint:

Look Who Got a Haircut!

Before....






After...





When I picked Gus up from the groomer, this is what he originally looked like:




WTF?


For some reason the groomer decided to shave everywhere BUT his head.


I was so mad! So mad that when I got Gus into the car and we drove away, I burst into tears.


Not even kidding. What did they do to Mike's MY boy?!


Mike took him back the next morning and the groomer fixed him up.


(Yes that is a dog and his penis sitting on my kitchen counter. What?)


(And by penis I mean Gus's penis, not Mike. I was not referring to Mike. As a penis...Not a penis)


All is good now, he's loving his new summer do and when we go to tanner park everyone thinks he's a brand new puppy.





Weird.

How to Pose For the Perfect Photograph

1. Make sure you look directly at the camera.





2. Hold your pose perfectly. Concentration is key, try not to make any sudden movements.





3. Make sure you hold the perfect smile as long as possible, don't be afraid to show your teeth.





4. Keep your eyes open!





5. Be aware of your hands, keep your hands to your sides as to avoid any awkward positioning. You don't want your hands to be the focus of the photo.





6. Be careful of the position of your head, you don't want to get a complete profile shot.





7. Make sure your hair and makeup are flawless, the worst thing you can do is have a photograph with your hair hiding your face.





8. Don't forget to act natural!

Butter Luck Next Time

It kind of just hit me that I have steppies. Yeah, I've got 2 sister steppies and 2 brother steppies.


Weird.


I've never had step siblings before, I'm only hoping this means more Christmas presents for me.


Me, and the hungry children of course. (I always think of the hungry children first.)


But, I think I like having steppies because it also means more weddings!




This is one of my new steppies Katie, she just got married isn't she gorgeous?






I loved her colors!





Never mind that her wedding was a month ago and I'm just barely posting about it....I haven't even posted about Easter yet! Fine, here's Katie and her new hubby on Easter:




You can tell they were made for each other.




The wedding was gorgeous, it was a beautiful day!






Everyone knows that I'm Logan's favorite but now I've got competition.




BIG competition.








Mike has been moving up in the ranks in Logan's opinion, but I'm destined to stay on top. This means war!






Ok, you may be wondering why I included a picture of the butter from our table at the wedding luncheon. Yes, the butter was great, one regular one raspberry, but that is not the reason why I took a picture.


I took a picture of the butter because of this girl:




She is constantly making me laugh....at her. So there we were, sitting at our table waiting for our food to be served and the servers come out and put the butter on the table first.


No rolls. No salad. Just butter.


As we continued to wait for the bride and groom I could see Lindee's face getting worried. I could tell she was really concerned. She continued to grow more and more anxious until she finally blurted out:


"I don't know why they brought out the ice cream before dinner, it's going to melt!"





And of course the table busted up laughing. Even the two strangers sitting at our table busted up.


I stupidly corrected her and told her it was butter, which I immediately regretted doing when Mike suggested that she eat it.


But it was too late, I had already opened my big mouth. After being with Mike for so long now I should have learned to keep my mouth shut and let her eat the butter.


Butter luck next time.

Tits Up!

Oh man I have soooo much to write and soooo little time to write it! I've decided I will have to write just bits and pieces. Better than nothing right?



Probably not, I know. Shut up.


Here's a little piece of my weekend:


Mike and I went to his parent's house in Sun Valley to celebrate Mimi's birthday (his Grandma). Mimi is not your typical grandma. Mike has told me this time after time with story after story but until you meet her in person, you can't really appreciate how unique she is.


I can't believe the things that come out of this old lady's mouth!

You know normally people will say things like "cheese!" or "smile!" when getting their picture taken.


Not Mimi.


No, as Mimi posed with her arms around Mike and I she yelled


"Tits up!"

Oh my god I love this woman!

Winner Is Revealed.....Bout Time!

Oh yeah, it's time to announce the winner of the $50 Target Gift Card!





But first I just wanted to thank everyone for entering the contest and supporting JD and his family. It is much appreciated!!


We we able to raise a grand total of:

$1,010



DeAnna says:

"Wow. I am in tears right now. Thank you so much, I am speechless. I am amazed at all the love and support from so many people, even people we don't know. It is such a humbling experience. Thank you everyone for your love and support!"

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

And now for YOUR reward......The winner of the $50 Target Gift Card is.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Rebecca Jo!!


Congrats Rebecca Jo and thank you for your donation and all of your support! Now send me your shipping info so I can get this flippin gift card off of my hands.


High fives all around!




*Tiny tiny exclaimer: All contest entries were accounted for in a spreadsheet and the contest winner was chosen randomly using random.org*

Don't Worry

I will be announcing the winner of the $50 Target gift card....soon.


Soon!! I promise.


Did you know that we raised $1,010??? You guys are amaZAzing!!


In the meantime, DeAnna linked these videos on her blog and I thought they were hilarious. Mike and I laughed our butts off!


See? No butts:






Enjoy.


Episode 1







Episode 2







Episode 3







Episode 4





P.S.

Are you all ready for UTAH PRIDE this weekend???




I am!!!

Thank God For Vodka

Yesterday's text conversation with the lil sis:


Lindee: What you doing?


Me: At school and u?


Lindee: Just locked out of my friends house with my vodka.





Thank god for vodka.

Last Chance Peeps!!!

After another surgery, JD is finally back home. The doctors "think" that they fixed the problem that was causing JD to get bacterial meningitis over and over again. I hope they are right!!





De and her family are SOOOO happy to finally be home. They have basically lived in the hospital for the majority of 2011. I'm sure it gets old fast. No child should have to spend that much time in the hospital.


I just wanted everyone to know they only have 3 more days to donate to JD's Recovery fund. I'd like to see the total of the fund reach $1,000 by Tuesday and with your help I know we can do it!!


DeAnna has told me many times how grateful she is for all your support! Thank you so much for everyone who has joined the facebook cause, it has truly made this little family's days brighter!





Remember the $50 Target gift card giveaway ends on May 31st as well so come enter. You don't have to donate to enter, just come and leave a comment HERE:


To make a donation to JD's recovery fund, go here:




Love you guys!!