Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My Boyfriend Enjoys Long Walks on the.....Mud?

It was such a lovely day to go to the park.





The sun was shining, the birds were...were not there. But if they were, my boyfriend would have chased them right away.


Or eaten them. He loves birds.





I learned a lot that day at the park. Like how territorial my boyfriend really is. This is not a quality I like in a boyfriend and of course I made it very clear that I was not his territory.





Thank God for that.


As we walked further down the path I realized we had made a major mistake. Yes the sun was shining, but that was the problem.


Sun = heat = melting snow = mud = dirty, dirty boyfriend!






Lots of mud.


We tried to wash off in the stream but that made things even worse. My boyfriend would just splash the ice cold water all over me and run around like...


like...


like something that runs around alot.


I couldn't believe how dirty he managed to get! I refused to let him sit in the front seat of my car, if he was going to act like a child, I would treat him like a child.





That day I also learned that my boyfriend has some dependency problems. I mean, I can't be there for him every day to wash his hair after a walk in the muddy park. You'd think he's capable of doing that on his own but apparently he had never done it before.


Yikes.





I put an end to that right away. No man of mine is going to walk around like a smelly homeless person! I may sound controlling in this relationship but it's necessary, and it works for us.





Like every relationship we've got some issues to work through. Like why he won't bring me a glass of wine in the evenings? I ask nicely for god's sake! And why does he insist I rub his stomach every hour of every day? Don't I deserve a massage too?


I think he just wants to show off his six pack.





Men.



But for some reason, no matter


how dirty,


how territorial,


& how dependent he is,


there's something in that look he gives me that keeps me coming back.


19 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Looks like he could also use a bit of manscaping.

Eve said...

Aaaw, what a sweet baby! :D

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

Dirty Dirty Boyfriend huh? Sounds kinky...MEOW wait, muddy dirty...um...disregard the first 2 sentences LOL

blueviolet said...

Awwwwwww, when did you get this boyfriend? I don't think I remember this one, do I?

Pricilla said...

At least he won't cheat on you

Kitten said...

Did you already blog about your new man? Does he have a name? He certainly is cute!

Megan said...

What a precious bebe!! *hearts*

{Whenever we, my child-dog and I, go to the park, I put a sheet I don't use on my bed, on the seat and I bring a towel. He likes to get dirty, too.}

TMI Tara said...

I heart your new boyfriend! What a cutie!!!

Stephanie Faris said...

Adorable! Our dog got muddy last weekend. I had to give her the dreaded "b" word (Bath). The good news is, she's smelled REALLY good all week!

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Queenie Jeannie said...

Ahhhhh Poob! Looks like you've got a winner of a boyfriend!!!!! Enjoy his smelly dogness!

Organic Meatbag said...

awwwwww, this post was positively adorable...and listen, I'm a guy...I am, it has been medically verified...and coming from this man, I can tell you that he is probably the best boyfriend any woman could ever have... he looks like a real charmer!

Hernandez Family said...

What a cute boyfriend! You would have such cute kids if you could have kids! Just sayin.

angie said...

Glad boyfriend got a much need bath!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

So many things can be said here but being the perfect angel I am I so won't go there ... I know who am I kidding?

I think he may need to be a little more on the Metrosexual side and maybe a touch of mommy issues ... :)

What a cute, cut just like a man left the mess for you to clean up :)

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

You lucky lady, I would totally pet that.

Stacy Uncorked said...

All that unconditional love - so worth it. :)

AmyLK said...

He is SO cute!

CLUFF FAMILY said...

Awww