Monday, June 1, 2009

Planting Flowers Can Be Deadly




I'm not an angry person. It takes a whole lotta mean to make me mad. However, I've found that when I'm changing birth controls I tend to have just a small, tiny, baby hint of a temper. Just a touch of angry.

Ok, I can be a full on bitch.

Case in point. Every year I am in charge of our flower beds. I choose the flowers, plant the flowers, weed the flower beds, water the flowers, I'm in charge of everything. Al is in charge of the rest of the yard, he sometimes helps me plant the flowers, but only after I lay them out so he knows where to plant them.



This year Al wanted to help me out. Sweet right? So the plan was to do it over Memorial Day weekend (plant flowers that is, you dirty minded people!) so that we would have a whole day to plant.

The Thursday before memorial day we went to the nursery and picked out about nine hundred thousand three hundred thirty seven flowers, give or take a few. On the way home Al says he just wants to plant them that day instead of waiting until the weekend.



Well it was about 7:00 pm when we got home which left less than 2 hours of daylight, plus it had been raining that day so the dirt and grass were all soggy and wet, plus it was cloudy and cold. And plus plus, WE HAD A PLAN TO DO THEM OVER THE WEEKEND.

So I told him no, we weren't going to plant that day, we needed to wait until the weekend AS PLANNED. Then I went inside the house to bake a cake.

But he had his mind set and while I was inside he just started planting. I walk outside and saw what he was doing and I. FLIPPED. OUT. He was doing it all wrong, he just started randomly planting flowers.





I have a plan when I plant, like I said before, I lay out all the flowers in a certain design to make sure we space them evenly and I make sure the flowers that will grow the tallest are in the back and the shorter flowers in the front so you can see all the flowers right?



So I start to tell him he was doing it all wrong, he was planting a tall flower in the front! He was ruining the whole thing, how could he just start planting without me? I had told him I wasn't planting that day. Of course his reasoning was that he wanted to help and get it all done for me.





He was trying to be a good husband. He was trying to help me. He thought he was being a good planting-flower boy. He thought he was going to win points. Until I yelled at him. He then told me that he had already started and I could either help him or go inside.

So I storm off inside to finish my cake. I seriously was shaking I was so furious! What was my problem? I never get angry like that, but I was so mad that my eyes started to tear up. I fumed and sulked and thought about those tall flowers that he continued to plant in the front flower bed in a crooked line.



Finally I told myself to calm down and go help the poor guy. So I go outside ready to plant. I tell him I've calmed down and am ready to help, he looked at me and asked if I'd been crying. Then I saw those damn tall flowers in the front and blew up all over again. So I had to go back inside before I became the headline news story:


Woman Stabs Husband With Garden Shovel



So I go back inside to let the smoke finish blowing out my ears and waited until my face turned from red back to the regular blinding pale white color. Finally I was ready to go back outside.



Al was almost done! He was a planting fool! So I got my pink gardening gloves on and finished helping plant the flowers. I was able to line up the rest of the flowers so a few were where I wanted them. We got it done before dark and besides the crooked lines, it actually didn't look too bad. Hopefully after they start growing, you won't be able to tell that they are all crooked.





So I dunno, what do you think? Not too bad?





Except for those damn tall flowers in the front that tower over the other shorties.




Just like I towered over the boys in high school.


Those ones still bug me.


50 comments:

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I AM THE EXACT SAME WAY! Except I can't even blame it on changing pills... I am just that way! What makes it worse, my husband is a landscaper. Has been all his life. Well, his working life anyway. So imagine his aggravation when I try to tell him how to do our own yard and that his way is the wrong way for all the same reasons that you said were wrong. I like them in a precise pattern. And if it's off by even an INCH, I will have a meltdown and either make him move them or move them myself when he is at work the next day!

Don't feel bad, sister. You are not alone!

Staci said...

man.....even though you were crying and planting and sulking you still had time to take pics....your a good multitasker ;) i kid i kid....dude first of all, we have the same big annoying red leafed bush....AND we have orange and purple flowers....thats weird. we were seperated at birth....because birth control does the SAME THING to me. BTW after you have a kiddo...you should get on the mirena (iud) i have no side effects and no monthly annoyances. just a thought. :)

Hernandez Family said...

You handled it better than I would have. I would have been that headline.

Kristina P. said...

I think it looks great!

And I so know how you feel. I was so mad last year, when my husband sent me flowers for Valentine's Day. I know he was being sweet and thoughtful, but I had specifically told him I didn't want anything and wanted to go out to eat.

It was the fact that he ignored me and spent our dinner budget on flowers.

Amanda Hopper said...

I'm loving the pictures that were taken even though you were crying and sulking! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that reacts that way when 'helpers' try to go outside of what was 'planned'. I'm a planner and OCD, and Jason often looks at me so strangely when I get bent out of shape over stupid things.

I'm glad we didn't have to read the headlines that a woman killed her husband with a shovel! :)

The flowers look awesome! I'm not allowed to touch anything in the yard, except the weeds. I'm allowed to pull them, but not allowed to touch the flower beds. LOL!

Cairo Typ0 said...

You were completely justified! This is your thing and he should have let you do it. **hugs** Add the new pills, and being around "almost" cake for that long. I'm impressed there was no headline! :p

Props to your husband for keeping going instead of pouting and leaving it for you. Not that i would do that... *innocent*

CLUFF FAMILY said...

HATE birtth control, I will NEVER take it again. I tried for 2 weeks and we would have divorced if I stayed on it. What a great guy to plant for you, and it looks so pretty and let the tall ones be wherever they want to be. Didnt you hate standing in the back all the time for pics? Give em a chance. You are standing above the flowers, so you can still see tham all silly! Love Ya!

Tammy Howard said...

I wish either of us had the drive or vision to plant a lovely garden. Kudos. And as for the temper? Come on! He was doing it wrong!!!

Janalyn and Rob said...

I am the same way, only I can't blame it on any type of meds...I am just that way naturally.

I like to plan things and stick to it and when that plan gets derailed, I don't like it...especially if the derailing is due to Rob (poor guy!).

The flowers did turn out nice though. :)

Kasey Hunt said...

Thankfully my husband wants no part in the flower planting. It's my thing and he respects that. If I need his help digging up a shrub or transplanting he will usually do it. That is sweet of your man to help you out but sometimes it does more harm than good. Honestly, I don't think it looks that bad. Could be worse. And I like your analogy. I was always called the big girl. I'm not big, I'm tall.

Jon and Steph said...

Dude you crack me up! but I really am the same way, I want things perfect! I think they look great!

Ms. Wanda said...

OMG I'm still craking up! I was not having a good day and this story made it so much better!!! You did a really great job, you even gave yourself a time out which I loved!!! The great thing about flowers is no matter where you plant them they will always be beautiful! Loved the pictures:)

Nana said...

That is so funny. I am very anal about my garden also. Papa won't help.

At least Al kept trying. I would have got " Don't start this shit with me woman!" Papa is very romantic.

Suzi said...

I would love it if Jeff actually did some yard work. When I laid down some weed mat I ran out of the staples used to hold it down and he told me to use nails...they'll do the job. It's okay for me to be substandard, but not him.

It turned out nicely. When it fills in it will be fine.

Debbi said...

Okay,, the flowers look okay, and once they grow, they'll be totally great.

But I'm loving how angry you got over it. I am soo that girl. "Don't friggen mess up my stuff, buddy! Or fold my laundry. Or clean the kitchen floor. Or dress the kids. Or make dinner. Or empty the dishwasher. Or load it. Just Effin' sit there, you're in my way! Because you're doing it wrong."

"FREAK SAKES, why don't you ever help out around here!?! " LOL

Heath'e' said...

hahaha, I was laughing my ass off reading that. It's funny how things that are no big deal to our men are a HUGE deal to us. I hate it when sweet intentions PISS you off. Been there done that to hubster a few too many times, need to calm down, must hit him..etc. Anyway I think your flowers are lovely. Great color selection. And I think as they grow it will bug you less OR you can trade the tall ones to make you happy :)
LUVS

Yaya said...

Hahahaha! A woman with screwed up hormones has no control over her actions!!!!!!!!! Love the orange flowers! The flower bed looks great!

One time I was screaming mad at my hubby because he was being all secretive...turns out he was trying to surprise me by setting up the adoption bedroom...I felt like a jerk!

Rebecca Jo said...

Just like the dont mix drinking & driving... dont mix planting & hormones!!!! :)

I'm sure it's all going to be beautiful in the end! You may want him to do it every year from now on!!!! (Dont push it - right?)

THE Stephanie said...

LOL... Men... always trying to help, but always doing it wrong!! LOL

Grand Pooba said...

FYI: I wasn't able to take the pictures until AFTER I had calmed down :)

Megan said...

I don't garden so I've got no idea what you're talking about. But I do understand the guys not doing things the way YOU want them to be done. Darn those guys. lol

The Wife O Riley said...

When they all grow, it will be one big beautiful garden.

I have been screaming at my husband all weekend. Then I got my period. I keep telling him that if I am not rational, he needs to not pick a fight with me or breathe, or anything else.

andy said...

i am so glad every time i find another person who is as weird about shit like me;)

andy

p.s. be happy you have flowers. i had a bush...but it died. now there is nothing. the end.

Sara said...

Cracked me up! You are messed! LOL They look fine. He did good.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I never knew that you were like this, but I love it. I am the exact same way.

I won't lie to you, my friend. I look at those pictures and I can tell what you planted and what Al did. Us Type A girls can see those things a mile away. :)

I would like to understand how this scene evolved, though. In between yelling at Al, did you run for your camera? Cracked me up to see these pictures of him digging in the dirt.

-Francesca

PS: I also heart your pink garden gloves. You are June Cleaver at heart. You and your lovely, lovely aprons.

Melissa said...

I get hormonal and crazy too! My husband just shakes his head. He will never understand!

LadyStyx said...

Sometimes they just gotta learn by themselves,hun.

Justine said...

OMG, what kind of butthead is Al that he's putting tall flowers in front of small ones? It looks cute now, but in a few weeks you'll probably have to move them all or you'll go OCD INSANE.

Justine :o )

flowers said...

I won't lie to you, my friend. I look at those pictures and I can tell what you planted and what Al did. Us Type A girls can see those things a mile away. :)

I would like to understand how this scene evolved, though. In between yelling at Al, did you run for your camera? Cracked me up to see these pictures of him digging in the dirt.

Lee said...

I know exactly what you mean.
The flowers I planted were supposed to be short, instead they're 3 feet tall. And the ones in front are the tall ones. The others aren't tall.
It's infuriating having an uneven flower bed. I want to rip them out.

Rocksee said...

I am way like you. There are certain things that I like to do by myself the way I like them done.

I think all of us probably would have gotten upset, be it a little or a whole bunch. So no worries.

Boys just like to take over so they feel powerful. Dumb boys.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I love you honey, full on bitch or not! Just like Al!!! Have some chocolate before you say anything else mean, okie dokie??

The flowers look gorgeous and he did most of the work. I'm a "planner" too, but sometimes you gotta throw the plan out when someone else has a better plan!

How was the cake???

Cris said...

I have learned to pick my battles. You are right that after they grow you will not be able to tell if they are in a straight line. I would rather have a hubster that helps than one that sits on his ass all day long. They look fabulous. You will see in time. Have a glass of wine and cheer them on girl.

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

Oh man, the wrath of womenhood. It is a scary and powerful force not to be messed with! I go completely psycho all the time, it is the most obnoxious feeling eveR!!!!!!! so glad your hubby and the plants survived this incident

Reinvent Dad said...

Oh boy, knowing the exact moment to back-off is oh so challenging for us husbands...I am terrible at gardening and have killed our annuals instantly each and every year. A tad annoyed, my wife took over this year and so far, so good. The flowers are alive and I'm happy to report, so am I!

Jamie said...

It could be just me but I kinda like the way it's all layed out. The whole "randomness" of it is kinda neat to me. I don't know if this makes me weird or not. I've got to say it...Two thumbs up.

Jamie said...

It could be just me but I kinda like the way it's all layed out. The whole "randomness" of it is kinda neat to me. I don't know if this makes me weird or not. I've got to say it...Two thumbs up.

The Stucki's said...

The flowers look great. Boys do the best the can right?!

Annie Harper said...

Oh to do things that normal grown ups do like PLANT things. When will my domestic gene kick in? WHEN KELLY? I mean, here you are gardening (with your pink gloves) and baking (in a fancy shmancy apron no doubt), and probably making all kinds of list with neat little pads of paper and smart little pens and taking pictures with your new fancy camera.

AM I ALIVE???


ps. i love your ass

Queenie Jeannie said...

Feeling better yet???

WhisperingWriter said...

I think the flowers look awesome.

I know how it goes though. When I'm PMSing I can be quite mean.

I wish my husband would do more yard work. He basically mows and weedeats and calls it a day.

Two Pretty Little Skirts said...

awwww your hubster is so sweet for helping!
I think the tall flowers gives it character but I would have been VERY upset too.
I feel for my poor husband with 4 girls in our house. 4 cycles of hormones cant be good right?

Love your blog! Following you too!
Dawn

Karin Katherine said...

Glad to know it's not just me that thinks this way. Of course, my husband would not be volunteering to help plant flowers. The only thing I can say is that when you get off the b/c you can have a kid JUST LIKE YOU and that will teach Al. So far I've passed on my anal ways of doing things to three of my four children. HA

nikkicrumpet said...

Ya know what....I bet it's going to be gorgeous...and you'll have to be mad again when you realize his random placement worked!! meh...who needs straight lines hehehe Make sure to take a picture in about 2 months...we HAVE to see the results!

Monica said...

Oh my gosh. I keep coughing and thinking about those darn tall flowers towering over the little one. Tall flowers! LOL! I'm still chuckling. :-D Thank you so much for the laugh.

Monica said...

Oh, by the way. I am EXTREMELY controlling when I know what I want and I commend you for not going out while he slept and digging them up and redoing it all. Because that's what I might have done or else risk a major breakdown and being institutionalized.

i'm black betty said...

girl, the hubby got snipped and i got off that sh*t!!! i HATE birth control pills. they are the DEVIL!!!

but, on a positive note, the flowers look awesome!!!

Michelle said...

For being strangers, we have WAY too much in common! I have flipped out at my hubster over the same thing! If you have a plan of how it should be done, the plan should be stuck to! Period!!

That being said, it was awfully sweet of him to do all that work for you, even if the tall ones are in front and they're not grouped according to any particular rhyme or reason. Let him go with a warning - THIS TIME. :)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh I'm so the same, I get all bent out of shape. Later I think oh wow he actually was helping, you know that thing I am screaming about help. So I just don't know what to do when the VERY rare time he does help out.

Oh that poor flower it's going to be teased for sometime ... LOL.

Boys they just don't seem to get it ... LOL Like solving our problems when we just want to talk :)

Farmgirl Paints said...

You are hilarious. I am loving your blog. I stopped by from SITS and now I don't want to leave. Happy SITS day.