Planting Flowers Can Be Deadly

I'm not an angry person. It takes a whole lotta mean to make me mad. However, I've found that when I'm changing birth controls I tend to have just a small, tiny, baby hint of a temper. Just a touch of angry.

Ok, I can be a full on bitch.

Case in point. Every year I am in charge of our flower beds. I choose the flowers, plant the flowers, weed the flower beds, water the flowers, I'm in charge of everything. Al is in charge of the rest of the yard, he sometimes helps me plant the flowers, but only after I lay them out so he knows where to plant them.



This year Al wanted to help me out. Sweet right? So the plan was to do it over Memorial Day weekend (plant flowers that is, you dirty minded people!) so that we would have a whole day to plant.

The Thursday before memorial day we went to the nursery and picked out about nine hundred thousand three hundred thirty seven flowers, give or take a few. On the way home Al says he just wants to plant them that day instead of waiting until the weekend.



Well it was about 7:00 pm when we got home which left less than 2 hours of daylight, plus it had been raining that day so the dirt and grass were all soggy and wet, plus it was cloudy and cold. And plus plus, WE HAD A PLAN TO DO THEM OVER THE WEEKEND.

So I told him no, we weren't going to plant that day, we needed to wait until the weekend AS PLANNED. Then I went inside the house to bake a cake.

But he had his mind set and while I was inside he just started planting. I walk outside and saw what he was doing and I. FLIPPED. OUT. He was doing it all wrong, he just started randomly planting flowers.





I have a plan when I plant, like I said before, I lay out all the flowers in a certain design to make sure we space them evenly and I make sure the flowers that will grow the tallest are in the back and the shorter flowers in the front so you can see all the flowers right?



So I start to tell him he was doing it all wrong, he was planting a tall flower in the front! He was ruining the whole thing, how could he just start planting without me? I had told him I wasn't planting that day. Of course his reasoning was that he wanted to help and get it all done for me.





He was trying to be a good husband. He was trying to help me. He thought he was being a good planting-flower boy. He thought he was going to win points. Until I yelled at him. He then told me that he had already started and I could either help him or go inside.

So I storm off inside to finish my cake. I seriously was shaking I was so furious! What was my problem? I never get angry like that, but I was so mad that my eyes started to tear up. I fumed and sulked and thought about those tall flowers that he continued to plant in the front flower bed in a crooked line.



Finally I told myself to calm down and go help the poor guy. So I go outside ready to plant. I tell him I've calmed down and am ready to help, he looked at me and asked if I'd been crying. Then I saw those damn tall flowers in the front and blew up all over again. So I had to go back inside before I became the headline news story:

Woman Stabs Husband With Garden Shovel

So I go back inside to let the smoke finish blowing out my ears and waited until my face turned from red back to the regular blinding pale white color. Finally I was ready to go back outside.

Al was almost done! He was a planting fool! So I got my pink gardening gloves on and finished helping plant the flowers. I was able to line up the rest of the flowers so a few were where I wanted them. We got it done before dark and besides the crooked lines, it actually didn't look too bad. Hopefully after they start growing, you won't be able to tell that they are all crooked.





So I dunno, what do you think? Not too bad?





Except for those damn tall flowers in the front that tower over the other shorties.




Just like I towered over the boys in high school.


Those ones still bug me.