Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Baby Smasher

Christmas Part II: Christmas Day with the Silkmans

I'm not a baby hater.

Really I'm not!

Then why do I smash them? Well, it all started Christmas Day at the Silkman's.

The day started out great! We arrived and witnessed the ultimate destruction caused when innocent little children are placed in front of a tree like this:

With mountains of presents like this:

Kids make Christmas so much fun! Don't you love the look on their faces?

On the Silkman side of the family I have two nephews, Colin & Jaxon, and one niece, Ava. All of which are Rae & Clay's kids.

These kids are the most well behaved kids you will ever meet. They are so friggin funny too. Alex and I love them so much! Ava is now talking and she's got the cutest personality. Any girl that keeps her hand down her pants is okay in my book!

And any chick that takes opening presents this serious, is my best friend!

The kids weren't the only ones who got presents! My sister-in-laws and I received these diamond stud earrings from our mom-in-law! Did I say Ava was my best friend? Sorry, I was mistaken.

Diamonds are my best friend!

But Ava is a close second!

So you can see the evening was going great! After the presents were unwrapped, the table was set:

The peacock was praying he wasn't on the menu:

The lobsters were boiled:

The boys were anticipating:

Ava was snitching:

And the dessert was waiting:

It all went so well until after dinner. Which is where the baby smashing came in.

I decided to go downstairs to take some pictures of the boys playing pool.

I walked down the first flight of stairs and turned the corner to finish the second. My cute sister-in-laws & the kids were sitting at the bottom of the stairs watching the boys play.

As I walked down the remaining stairs, my foot just flew out from underneath me and before I knew what was happening, I was falling. I frantically tried to stop myself but I failed.

And I landed.

On my back.

On the baby.

Look at the disappointment & disgust in those eyes! He had no idea he was married to a baby smasher, oh the pain! You think you know someone...then they start smashing babies!

Little baby Ava was fine, it mostly just scared the ba-jeebus out of her and after I apologized and promised it would never happen again, she still wouldn't look at me.

I don't blame her. After all I put her in second place after diamonds, what kind of aunt does that?

But then again, what kind of aunt smashes her little baby niece into the ground?


heathersister said...

Oh, the poor little thing, how could you. You should take her to the mall, get her ears pierced, and give her your earrings to make up for it. Nah, just kidding, a cookie will probably work.

I did something similar to my own child when she was little. I thought it would be fun to run with her stroller down the little hill into the park. We hit a rock, the stroller flipped over, and I landed on top of it. I thought my husband was gonna kill me. She was OK but me. I had a bruise that covered my entire thigh.

Did you really take a picture of your husband while you were still on the floor. Bah hahahahaha, that is the best!

Oh, and I want to have Christmas at your in-laws next year.

Kristina P. said...

Oh my goodness, this made me laugh! It's a joke at my work that I hate children, for some reason, so I'm sure this would happen to me.

And Lobsters? You guys are fancy!!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh bless your heart!!

It looks like an incredible time anyway! Lobster???? And you didn't invite me? You are so heartless!

dani said...

So funny. In a sad sorta way.
I was rough-housing with my little nephew on Christmas and he somehow fell... on my fist. um, in his tummy. So he barfed all over me.

Needless to say, I would go for the earrings too!

Mandy said...

Tee hee! That is a great post. Somewhat reminiscent of the event that took place to today at Monkey Joe's.... My sons and I were on one of the maze things. As I was helping Frack up the ladder-ish part, I slipped down and fell onto Frick. Only Mama got hurt in this...sprained the crap out of my ankle and have been assigned to the couch. Frick wouldn't look at me, either. :) So, you are not the only one!!

Megryansmom said...

I'm laughing too hard to type. Happy New Year!

Amy said...

Your a jerk! She's going to be scarred for life. Way to go.

Julia said...

The baby girl is adorable! She has to be tough with those boys I imagine. But what is that chain she is dragging in the last photo. Is she about to beat you with it?? Or tie you to a chair somewhere so you don't crush her next time?

Thanks for your support over at TAG!!! I have to find some other ways to roust the troops into sending their photos. I have some more but need to keep them coming. If you have any super woman ideas please let me know.

Call Me Cate said...

Awesome post. I have a reputation for being a baby hater, which is not true. If I smashed the baby, they would never believe it was an accident.

Anonymous said...

Great pics!

I smashed a baby once back in my gymnastics days...was doing a tumbling pass and a parent let their kid run across the mat and *Bam*-smashed....I was a big girl back then too....poor thing, I'll never forgive myself. I now check up on her occassionally on facebook to make sure she didn't end up having special needs because of me.

Denise said...

Thanks for the laugh...Im glad you and Ava are both ok. And I have to say that I would trade our traditional holiday food for your ANYDAY! Lobsters! Wow! Me and Hubby need to have a serious talk about next year, lol.

thanks for stopping by my blog!

Lee said...

I'm sorry I haven't been commenting!
For whatever reason your blog hasn't been updating on my list! So annoying!
I'm glad you had a good holiday season!
And diamonds... jeese I'm jealous.

BSW said...

You told this story so well! I was laughing so hard! Don't worry based on New Years Eve I think she has forgivin you since she played baby with you!

Tranquility said...

Ohhh... so sad (is it ok that I'm laughing?)!

The Bush Family said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It's ok about smahing babies..they're tough..lmao! Great post!!!

Chitown Meg said...

Haha.....sounds like something I'd do!

angie said...

I think everyone has a story like that! I know I've got a couple with my nephews. I recently apologized to my nephew for biting his fingers when he was a baby. He said it was a long time ago and I should forget about it. Then we high-fived.

Karin Katherine said...

Goodness, that poor child! I'm keeping my kids away from you until they are a bit older and their bones aren't as fragile.

sandy said...

Too funny! Don't worry, I have 5 kids, I'm sure I smashed a few of them. They turned out ok....sort of;)

Annie Harper said...

I say smash away. It's good for em.

Ok, so I'm not THAT heartless. To children anyway. I leave those kinds of things for your baby-hating husband. I'm surprised he was appalled at you. I would have thought he'd be high-fiving you for sure. Asking you to reinact it. You know, things like that.

Meh he he. Albert.

Joy said...

Oh bless her heart - that little face! What a cherub.

I'm sure she'll forget about your shenanigans in no time. ;o)

yulz said...

huhu poor girl :p it'll be part of the christmas memories she'll remember when she grew up

Anonymous said...

That little girl is adorable!!!

Suzi said...

I'm sure Ava will forgive time. Sounds like your family had a great time.

Orr's said...

Holy crap Kelly! I don't know if I can trust you around Logan. Geez Alex eats babies and you smash them. maybe you guys shouldn't have children.

Anna Lefler said...

I don't know. She looks shifty. Probably good you straightened her out wit' a quickness before she got any older.

Just sayin'.

Happy New Year!

:^) Anna

tara @ kidz said...

Poor Baby Ava!!! Probably scared her to death, a big Pooba flailing towards her 'n all! ;O)

Looks like a wonderful holiday all in all.

Jamie said...

Lobsters?! I'm jealous!

Anonymous said...

She looks so wounded there. Maybe you need to start saving for some diamonds because you owe her.

Cris said...

OMG I am laughing so hard. Kel you are the funniest daughter in law. I love the stories they keep me going daily. Love ya girl

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