Thought: I propose a new law for the color black. Only one shade of the color black should be allowed, no variations. That way, you can buy black pants at one store and a black jacket at another store and they are guaranteed to match. There will be a test that every black color has to take and if the color does not pass, it cannot be called black.
Brilliant, I know.
Thought: Facebook needs to have a "dislike" button, not just the "like" button.
Thought: Why are there scuff marks on the toilet seats where I work?
Fact: When I was little, my favorite thing to do was to press my palms against my eyes and hold them there until I could see crazy moving designs and colors in the back of my eyelids. I probably damaged my eye sight a great deal doing that.
And my brain.
Thought: Why must people come into my office, fart, and then leave pretending like they didn't just leave a huge stink bomb hovering over my head?
Fact: I always thought that in Prince's song "Little Red Corvette" it said "livin on up" instead of "little red corvette" in the chorus. I just found this out last year.