Tuesday, March 9, 2010

We're All Mad Here. Seriously.


Friday night was...interesting.

The plan was that after work, I would pick up Andrea and we'd go eat sushi at Blue Fish for dinner and then see Alice In Wonderland.

That was the plan.

Work that day was a little stressfull. Okay a lot stressful, but not enough to prevent me from dreaming of my favorite sushi roll, The Hungry Roll, at Blue Fish. It is SOOOOO delicious, any roll topped with lobster has to be good right?

Why it took me 25 years to try sushi I will never know, but it is food of the Gods.

I think the Sushi Gods were conspiring against me for my lack of sushi interest for so many years because complication after complication developed at work that day. As 5:00 rolled around, I started getting nervous, I couldn't leave work until I met my deadline, which, at the time, was NOW!

I was supposed to pick Andrea up at 6:00, and as I watched the clock tick away on my computer while progress continued to slow, my dreams of sushi began to diminish.

6:00 came and 6:00 went.

Damn you Sushi Gods.

Finally I was able to leave at 7:00. SEVEN! The movie started at 7:45 so I was racing the clock driving straight from work to Andrea's house, about twenty minutes.

I was a mess at this point. My hair was all frizzy from trying to pull it out all day, my makeup had pretty much worn off, and my heart was pounding out of my chest.

Shit. I don't know how to get to her house from the freeway! So she tries to explain directions to me over the phone. This proved to be very difficult for her to do, being that she DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES! How many years have you lived there now Annie?

Serioiusly, the directions I got went something like this:

"So you turn at the light, then there's a church and then a few streets down from that there's a street sign that kind of sticks out a little bit more then the others and you turn there. Oh, but when I said turn at the light, I meant the second light, not the first. Okay, so then the road winds around and you turn at a creepy looking house. Then there are big houses and you make another turn and keep driving around until you get to my house."


I only took two wrong turns out of three and only went in one full circle before I reached her house. Do you realize how many spooky houses there are in that neighborhood? Sheesh.

I honk as I'm pulling into the driveway.



Okay, I think, maybe she didn't hear me. So I leave the car running as I hop out and go knock on the door. Halelujah she answers the door!

Sigh, relief!

While she puts her dog away I run back out to the car. In my haste, I grab the handle to my car door and pull extra hard expecting it to open. But no, I almost rip my shoulder out of it's socket.

The door doesn't budget. I tug again.


I look closer and noticed that the door wasn't shut all the way so I thought if I could just pull a little bit harder....

Nope. Oh, I know! I'll push it all the way shut and then it will open.


We are officially locked out of my car.

My car is running.

I'm hitting my car door.

Andrea is trying not to laugh.

Like my keys, my phone and purse are locked in the car so I borrow Andrea's phone and try to call Al. Of course she has to have one of those fancy touch phones that I have no idea how to use.

I try dialing three times.

"You must dial the area code when dialing this number..."

Damn you operator!

"Andrea! How do you hang this up?!"

This goes on until finally I'm able to get through to Al.

Al was not happy.

But he comes, and brings my keys. Andrea and I were waiting inside the house when we hear a knock on the door.

Yay! Finally, every thing's going to be okay. I think.

Oh no. My car keys aren't actually real keys, they are just car remotes that you stick straight into your ignition. Because my other remote was already in the ignition, the spare remote couldn't override it.

So the doors wouldn't unlock. The trunk wouldn't pop open. The spare remote was useless.

And the car was still running.

Then, my predominate brilliance takes control and a light bulb appears above my head. There's an emergency key in the remote! Take the key out, take the key out!

Others were doubtful.

I knew it would work.

What d'ya know, the brilliant blonde saves the day. (The day that she totally ruined)

With no time for goodbyes, Andrea and I hop in the car and as soon as the doors are shut I try to put my seat belt on but, like the car door, it wouldn't budge. I let it go and try again.


Third time, stuck.

Andrea busts up.

I bust up.

We made it just in time for the previews.

Was it worth it? Yes.


Because after the movie we walked into Blue Fish 5 minutes before they closed and ate to our hearts' content.

The Sushi God's were very pleased.


Kasey Hunt said...

what a story. Glad you made it on time for the movie. I've heard good things about the movie!!

Anonymous said...

Sushi - Mmmm...!!!

Glad you made it for previews! I'm like a preview Nazi - I've not gone to movies if it looked like we would miss the previews. I am aware I have issues...

And I swear, you are like livin' my life! Only with the husband and without all the kids... ok, maybe not so much...

Kristina P. said...

That was quite the adventure.

And I do not like sushi. Blech. I love seafood, and I've tried it several times, but I think it's disgusting.

Shandal said...

My gawd, hasn't your car heard of the song "Girls just want to have fun?" Oh and those directions, they sound exactly like one of my friends directions she gave me to her house too. AHH! Hope you enjoyed the movie!

Linds Forrest said...

ha ha.. oh man. that is the greatest story ever! But was Alice so not worth it? awesome, right?!!

Pricilla said...

Was it all worth it?

That's what inquiring goats want to know...

JennyMac said...

You should pitch your life to a network for your own sitcom.

Sara said...

I am sitting here watching the clock cause I am leaving work for 2 hours to watch it and then returning to work. Johnny Depp is worth it. Your evening sounds pretty normal to me...

Bethany said...

I've gotten those directions once. Actually it went more like this.
Me:"I'm at the grocery store."
Them:"I don't know where that is."

It was less then 5 minutes from his house.

Closer to Lucy said...

Lol, try doing that crap daily! My husband gave up being mad at me for crap like that, cause really that is my day, all day, everyday!

Mandy said...

hope the movie was good! :)

Janalyn and Rob said...

That is one of those stories that is NOT FUNNY in the moment, but once some time has passed it's hilarious. So, how was Alice? I can't talk anyone into going to it with me? Guess all my people suck.

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...


having a bad day....sucks.....

but at least you got to see johnny depp.............

Rebecca Jo said...

I would have just said SCREW IT - we're ordering pizza & renting a movie & tried again another day for the movie... I HATE being rushed... & this sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen for me...

Frau said...

I would bagged it all and hit the bar! You so would have deserved it. Great hubby for coming to the rescue!

Tara said...

I am laughing so hard right now! you tell one hell of a story! So was the movie good at least?

Donnetta said...

At least there wasn't a baby locked in the car while it was running AND it being 20 degrees outside! Ummm...I think I know someone who did that...

Brian Miller said...

so did you ever get sushi...after that, i would really need some sushi...

MJW said...

Cute story! Sushi mmm! Love the last picture. It looks like it belongs on a cover of something :)

Princess Andy said...

'tis stories like this that make me feel all warm and fuzzy that it's not just me.

but! how did YOU like the movie?

me, not so much.

<3 andrea

blueviolet said...

I was totally stressed out while reading that as if I was running late for the movie myself! How did you do that?

AmyLK said...

at least there is usually 15 minutes of previews before the movie starts! So glad you made the movie. Sushi another night!

Anonymous said...

food of the Gods? I couldn't agree more!

Julia said...

You're all that and a bag of chips Pooba. Seriously. :)

WhisperingWriter said...

Crazy experience!

Glad you made it to the movie. I have never tried sushi before. Then again, I don't like seafood so I'm not sure I'd like it.

Annie Harper said...


Ok, so people may think you are kidding the way you described me giving you directions, but that was nearly WORD for WORD.

Who am I?

Best part was the THUNK...THUNK...THUNK...DAMNIT!!!!!

Controlling My Chaos said...

Oh, that was funny. And at your expense, yes, sorry, but funny. :)

Anonymous said...

Was Alice's adventure in wonderland as good as yours in hell?

Anonymous said...

Was Alice's adventure in wonderland as good as yours in hell?

TMI Tara said...

I loved Johnny Depp, and the move was good too! It took me 25 years to try sushi as well, it was worth the wait! LOVE it! I've gotta try that restaurant, haven't been there. My fav sushi in Utah is actually in St George. OMG it's on the Main Street. I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but it is heaven on earth!

Jon and Steph said...

What a stinkin mess!!!! Glad you made it to the movie and got to have your sushi! ;)

I'm dying to see the movie! Was it fantastic??

ashley said...

I feel anxious just thinking about that night! And I am salivating at the thought of your 28 1.4. I hope you get it. Your pics are look amazing!

Nana said...

Was Alice's adventures as good as your adventures with your car?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That was quite the adventure! Granted, most of the 'adventure' was instigated by you, but an adventure just the same. I'm actually surprised after all that you made it on time for the movie and were able to enjoy sushi! Well done! :)

Justine said...

Okay, you are a total blonde, no doubt about it. I have the same kinda ignition thingy, but I don't even have to stick mine in the ignition. I just turn the little turny thing and I can keep my keys in my purse.

I wish I could have seen this whole thing play out. Boy do I.

And no, sushi is not food of the gods. It's RAW FUCKING FISH!

Justine :o )

Frogs in my formula said...

Hahaha. Those sound like the kind of directions I give. Too funny.

Frogs in my formula said...

P.S. LOVE sushi!

Lee said...

Apparently somebody didn't want you to have sushi.

It's an omen.

KK said...

Well all's well that ends well they say!

joeandbridge said...

Hi there! I'm just popping in to follow your blog! I'd love it if you'd come follow mine! Thanks and have a great day!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins

Jeanne said...


Oh, you crack me up! When I was 19 yrs old, I bought my own car (new) with my own money that I was working many hours to pay for. Until I was 19, I was borrowing my parents' car. Let's just say that the borrowing phase was plenty of incentive for me to save up for a down payment for my own car AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

So, I bought my new car at just 19 and I was pretty darn proud of myself. I'd worked hard to save up for that down payment and now I was free! A couple of weeks later, it was a hot September day & my car was parked on a city street in a neighborhood that was a little creepy. It was closest parking spot I could get (as the campus where I attended college had a ridiculous parking shortage).

Anyway, I had my big, huge denim 1980s-era Gap bag full of textbooks. It was SO heavy. I had my purse too. Also, since it was ridiculously hot for September (but had started out chilly that morning) I was carrying my jacket.

Basically, I was carrying so much stuff I felt like my arms would fall off. I was dripping sweat and couldn't wait to get to my car.

OK. I reached my car & opened the driver's side door. Since I didn't have air conditioning, I wanted to get some kind of air going. So I turned on the car for the purpose of turning on the fan.

In the meantime, the heavy bag, purse, and jacket were killing me. I managed to heave all my belongings across the car to plop them onto the passenger seat.

This car did not have electric windows. They were manual. So, to open the window on the passenger side from the driver's side would be either painful to reach or impossible.

I decided it would be quicker & easier just to walk around to the curb side of the car to put the window down before heading home.

Grave mistake!

You see, in my hurry to dump these heavy things that I had just carried about 3/4 mile from campus... I neglected to remove the keys from the ignition. I went to the passenger side and pulled the handle. Silly me. The door was locked. Of course I would never have left my precious, brand new car that I had saved so hard for unlocked on that city street, right?

Then it hit me. OH MY GOD! The keys are still in the ignition and the car is running! Then, my brain went into a panic and I thought to myself, "where is that spare set of keys they gave me when I bought the car?"

Wait for it.

The spare set of keys was in the big, huge, heavy Gap bag that I was looking at through the window!

Yes, the car was still running and the only set of spare keys was in the car. Plus, it didn't have oodles of gas in the tank either.

Boo hoo. :(

I was NOT happy. I walked down to a gas station & they were no help. They also told me not to bother calling AAA because they had stopped doing door locks for liability reasons. Lovely.

I did NOT know what to do. I was walking back towards my car and there was this dingy, old auto shop that I had never noticed before because it was just yucky looking.

I had nothing to lose. I went in & found someone who worked there. I explained that I was locked out of my car, that it was nearby, & that it was running. I asked if they had any advice.

The man looked at me as if sizing me up and I remembered what I had just been told about AAA & liability. By the way, this car's design would NOT be something a wire coat hanger could open. Not the way these locks were designed.

He must have decided I was not the type to sue him if my car door/locks got messed up because he went and got a tool. I think he called it a "jimmy".

Anyway, he walked with me to my car. He stuck the tool down the inside of the car door and fished around for the lock inside the door. Once he found it, he just pulled up. Presto! Open sesame!

I was so relieved! I couldn't thank him enough. I was so happy he got it open. I don't know what I would have done otherwise.

Anyway, I hadn't thought of that story in years but your story reminded me of it. :)


Alexis AKA MOM said...

Did you just enter my life? LOL One time when I was young and dumb I went to a bank thinking I would lock the car while it was running to go the ATM I had my remote it's all good ... LOL same thing yup it didn't work. I had to borrow a car drive to my house and get a spare key ... yup I left the car running at the bank for like 30 minutes!!! UGH

Glad you made it to the movie and sushi!! YEAH

Queenie Jeannie said...

It's official Little Sis...you're positively NUTTERS!!!

Love ya!

yulz said...


so how's the movie?

went to the mall with my cuzzie this afternoon for her wedding stuff and each time I walked pass the theater , I was like . . peeping on the huge Alice in the Wonderland poster and my heart was screaming . . "I want to watch that !" wahaha

and..SUSHI . . still didn't had the will to try ahax !

Aleta said...

LMAO, I'm actually impressed that after all that, you still went to see the movie and had Sushi!!! Good for you for not giving in and letting it totally ruin the plans.

Megan said...

You do not lead a dull life, that is fo sho!! LOL Glad you finally got to see your movie and eat your sushi!!