Elkohol

As many of you know, I am a frequent traveler to Elko Nevada for my job, of which, I just returned. I usually travel there with a few other people from my office and they ALWAYS have to make a stop at the grocery store.


You know, for the necessities...





The real reason we travel to Elko?


Cheap Booze!






Gotta stock up right? This'll last me at least a week.


(No, not all the booze is mine people! I've got two cats to feed remember?)

I'm Totally Plagiarizing This Shit

Today, because I'm lazy and don't want to tell this hilarious story myself, my crazy lil sis is going to do it for me! You can read it on her blog HERE but since I know most of you are as lazy as me and can't fathom clicking the mouse button ONE. MORE. TIME. I went ahead and pasted it below.


You're welcome.



"Night Out On The Town"
By My lil slut sis





My sister took me to her work Christmas party because, well, everyone at her works loves/hates me. You see, during the summer I went with Pooba to Elko where one of the actual Gold mines for my sisters company is. While there, her work threw a party for everyone with unlimited drinks and food. This made for a very fun night, they also had a live band and we dance the night away. When it came time to go home, my sisters boss (who'd I'd gotten to know on the trip), was a bit to tipsy and passed out cold on the bus. When opportunity arises, I must take advantage. I borrowed some lip liner from a girl and hopped on over to his seat and drew a giant penis on his face.






Yes, it was a good decision and very mature of me despite what you think.






Not only is he my sisters boss, come to find out, he is over all the accountants at this giant company. I didn't realize who I was messing with I guess.






The next morning he sent out an email about business, accounts recievable, due dates blah blah blah, and at the end he included:



"It appears someone last night took advantage of my inebriated state last night, I will find you."






and then






"Just kidding, I know it was Lindee."






Tee hee.






Ok, so back to the christmas party, here is me and Pooba getting all dolled up:





I was a little nervous to go but Curtis had saved us a seat and was very nice to me!


I kept hearing this weird sound throughout the night and kept asking Pooba what it was. There was an older lady behind us who we determined had a squeeky chair, or was letting them loose all night.





Near the end of the evening, when the CEO is giving his speech. Me and Pooba hear it again, but much louder, a very distinguishing fart sound. Our whole table busts up laughing as silently as they could, I look at Curtis and he is bright red so I think it's him. Then it happens again and it finally clicks.



Everyone is looking at me.



I didn't even hestitate, I reached under my chair and felt the hard plastic of a fart machine. I ripped it off and chucked it at Curtis. He had gotten his revenge after 5 months of waiting.



Needless to say the night was memorable and totally fun, me and Curtis are buddy's now but I'm still trying to come up with ways to pay him back... any ideas???

Your Mom...and Other Shit About Me

Tag Tiggity Tag Tag!

Yeah, I got tagged. Again. Guess this is what I get for only blogging once a week. Love ya Suz! This tag is called "Four Things About Me" and y'all better do it too yo!

Four Things About Me

Four shows I watch:



1. Modern Family
2. So you think you can dance
3. Dexter
4. Your mom
(Or you can just click HERE)




Four things I’m passionate about:

1. Dance
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Your mom




Four phrases I use a lot:



1. "That. Just. Happened."
2. "What the what?!"
3. "...and shit." (Just add it to the end of any sentence, it's fun and shit!)
4. "Your mom."




Four places I’d love to go:



1. A Brand New concert
2. Wine tasting at Maynard's winery
3. Any tropical destination
4. Your mom's house




Four things I did yesterday:



1. Went to Beans and Brews. Twice.
2. Drove back from Park City.
3. Procrastinated doing my homework and shit.
4. Your mom. What?!




Four things I love about winter:



1. Who loves winter?
2. It's fricken cold!
3. No, seriously, who likes winter?
4. Your mom




Four things I’ve learned from the past:



1. When you're at dinner with Mike, always check your straw before taking a drink!
2. Tanning beds = Cancer = scary doctors = stitches = scars = ugly
3. Never let Lindee borrow any clothes, cds, cell phones, and especially...YOUR BOSS!
4. Your mom jokes never get old.

Something Borrowed, Something New, Something Else & Something Too

I am finally posting pictures from my mom's wedding. I was dubbed "photographer" for the shindig so these pics are all they have! Sad, I am NOT a photographer, I just take pictures.


I like to call myself a pictakerer instead.


Because I know how to push that big button on top of the camera and point it at things.


Anyway, Mom got married back in August. Yeah, AUGUST. Mom is Mormon and her and Bob got married in the temple. If you're wondering why there are no pictures of the actual ceremony it's because no cameras are allowed in the temple.


And no evil pictakerers are allowed inside either. Hence no ceremony pics....but we got plenty of pics outside the temple and at the wedding luncheon. So, check 'em out.




















Bob's side of the fam:







My new step bros and sistas!










Mom's side of the fam:







My Bro and his wife.




Baby sis and her boyfriend.




GQ moment.




Lil sis. Center of attention as always.




My aunt, uncle and cuz.




Mom and her sis.




My cuz and her cute fam.







Madre and I.










The booger. It was such a nice day Logan had so much fun exploring, I think he was oblivious to the fact that there was a wedding going on.








The Luncheon:


The happy couple who can't wait for this to end so they can get it on...come on, you can see it in their faces right?




The fam table.




Lil sis and I.




Our favorite old neighbors. Two of which may or may not be the couple involved in my mom's sexting accident...




Mom's BFFs. Although I'm not sure if they are anymore after they shared a table dancing story about my mom at the luncheon...Yeah, my mom. Table dancing.







My aunt and uncle.




My cute cuz Ben and his wife Ash.




More cute cuzins Shelby, Shae and her hubby.




My cuz Skylar and his madre.




My cuz Andrew and his date. (And my dad's bald head)





"And that's all the family!"


(I don't expect you to get that reference, it's a family inside joke. Just know that it is hilarious!)