Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm Totally Plagiarizing This Shit

Today, because I'm lazy and don't want to tell this hilarious story myself, my crazy lil sis is going to do it for me! You can read it on her blog HERE but since I know most of you are as lazy as me and can't fathom clicking the mouse button ONE. MORE. TIME. I went ahead and pasted it below.

You're welcome.

"Night Out On The Town"
By My lil slut sis

My sister took me to her work Christmas party because, well, everyone at her works loves/hates me. You see, during the summer I went with Pooba to Elko where one of the actual Gold mines for my sisters company is. While there, her work threw a party for everyone with unlimited drinks and food. This made for a very fun night, they also had a live band and we dance the night away. When it came time to go home, my sisters boss (who'd I'd gotten to know on the trip), was a bit to tipsy and passed out cold on the bus. When opportunity arises, I must take advantage. I borrowed some lip liner from a girl and hopped on over to his seat and drew a giant penis on his face.

Yes, it was a good decision and very mature of me despite what you think.

Not only is he my sisters boss, come to find out, he is over all the accountants at this giant company. I didn't realize who I was messing with I guess.

The next morning he sent out an email about business, accounts recievable, due dates blah blah blah, and at the end he included:

"It appears someone last night took advantage of my inebriated state last night, I will find you."

and then

"Just kidding, I know it was Lindee."

Tee hee.

Ok, so back to the christmas party, here is me and Pooba getting all dolled up:

I was a little nervous to go but Curtis had saved us a seat and was very nice to me!

I kept hearing this weird sound throughout the night and kept asking Pooba what it was. There was an older lady behind us who we determined had a squeeky chair, or was letting them loose all night.

Near the end of the evening, when the CEO is giving his speech. Me and Pooba hear it again, but much louder, a very distinguishing fart sound. Our whole table busts up laughing as silently as they could, I look at Curtis and he is bright red so I think it's him. Then it happens again and it finally clicks.

Everyone is looking at me.

I didn't even hestitate, I reached under my chair and felt the hard plastic of a fart machine. I ripped it off and chucked it at Curtis. He had gotten his revenge after 5 months of waiting.

Needless to say the night was memorable and totally fun, me and Curtis are buddy's now but I'm still trying to come up with ways to pay him back... any ideas???


Tiffany said...


Ahhhh, you know me so well!!


If they ever let me back into Utah, we should totally hang out!

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

OMG I need a fart machine!!!! LOL

blueviolet said...

That was brilliant payback!

Brian Miller said...

snort....brilliant pay back...

Kristina P. said...

Ha! Love it! You have fun coworkers too.

Queenie Jeannie said...


Justine said...

Oh yeah, he got you good, Lindee. And you deserved it. Drawing a penis on his face. Heeheehee


Pricilla said...

It's good to have a sister you can steal from, eh?

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

Nice!! I'm glad that you know that I'm too lazy to go to another blog because for a moment I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not! ;)

Nana said...

Good one!!! Am I going to have to come over there and wash all the
---- out of your mouth young lady?
It seems the ----is flying free.

After Papa's colonoscopy this morning he made me so mad. He was letting them shoot across the room. NO ONE else in there was. He thought he was hilarious. I left him alone in the recovery room. It was a bad scene man.

Anonymous said...

Why American men should boycott American women

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


MiMi said...

OMG. That is freaking HILARIOUS!!! Best story. Ever.

MiMi said...

Crap. I see the Boycott American Women douche got to you too.
My guess? He's too ugly to GET an American woman. Pfft.

LadyStyx said...

definitely brilliant ;)

Organic Meatbag said...

i actually have my own built in fart machine! It even plays "Lady" by are funny as hell...I follow you now...I broke English!

Sodermoto said...

That is funny that he finally got her back. :)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh goodness I was so wondering what the revenge would be! That is priceless.

I'm so bad with pranks.