Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Drawing a Penis On Your Bosses Face Can Only Lead to One Thing...

Can I just tell you that when you hang out with this chick, you never know what's going to happen?

I had to go out of town for a couple days for work and decided to drag my lil sis along to keep me company. She's always good for that at least.

So we arrive to some small remote town in Nevada on Thursday night. Now because I have to wake up early the next morning to go to work, we decided the only logical thing to do would be stay out until 3 in the morning. That's what any responsible employee would do right?

So we met up with Lindee's friend and explored this little town and found ourselves at a karaoke bar. Apparently Thursday nights are the BIG nights for Karaoke, the place was hoppin. Well, hoppin for Elko.

So we are enjoying ourselves, having a good time. Lindee's friend owed us some drinks for a bet he lost earlier so we took advantage of that deal right away.

More often then not when Lindee and I go out together we always get at least one person asking if we are twins. That night was no exception however it went a bit further, apparently we became known as the tall blonde mormon twins. People kept coming up to us saying they wanted to meet the tall mormon twins. Which of course was funny being that we were at a Karaoke BAR.

But whatev.

After a horrible attempt at karaoke, we decided to save ourselves any more embarrassment and go try out another club (you know the only other club in Eko? LOL). Funny thing, there were people there from the karaoke bar.

Did I mention it was a really small town? Haha!

But we had fun because there was a dance floor here and whenever Lin and I can get our feet on the dance floor we tend to lose track of time. Plus nobody ever told us to go home so we just stayed and burned off the grilled cheese we had earlier.

But we did finally make it back to the hotel and I got to sleep for about an hour and a half before I had to go to work.

It was awesome. Let me tell you I was lookin really good that morning.

Fast forward to Friday night, we went to a party that my work was throwing. My company throws the best parties (maybe the fact that they have an open bar every time has something to do with it). They're always a good time.

Little did I know Lindee would have a little TOO much fun at this one.

This was our dinner. It's basque food which includes cow tongue.

Cow tongue! I had warned Lindee about the tongue earlier but apparently she didn't care because she piled it right on top her plate next to the meatballs (I don't even want to know what kind of meatballs those were.)

And yes, she did eat it. Some of it anyway. And I dry heaved. And dry heaved again. Then puked all over the table.

Ok, no I didn't puke but I almost did! Later on in the evening after everyone was done with dinner and the band was playing, and the old people were dancing, my sister was dragged to the dance floor by my boss's boss.

This can't be good I thought.

Lindee had already told everyone a lot of embarrassing stories about me and there were plenty more to choose from! She already told my whole office about the magnet incident, the midget incident, both of which received quite the reaction from my coworkers.

I was loving it. Yeah, it was awesome. Thanks lil sis.

So later I find out that my boss was asking what we did the night before because I came into work looking like shit.

When Lindee told me that I had to laugh because it was so true, I barely had my eyes open that day at work! You know you've got an amazing boss if he can tell you when you look like shit.

The rest of the party was so fun and we were sad to see it end but the company loaded us all onto the bus to take us back to our hotel. This is us on the bus:

This was right before Lindee decided to take advantage of my inebriated boss. Not like THAT you sickos. The boss was passed out on the bus, his wife sitting next to him, when Lindee decides it would be a brilliant idea to go write on his face with mascara.

Yes, this is my boss's boss by the way.

So she draws a smiley face on his cheek while I'm yelling at her to sit down before I get fired! His wife thought it was hilarious, as did everyone else on the bus.

Apparently Lindee sucks at drawing on faces with mascara and the smiley face turned out to look more like a penis.

Yes, my little sister drew a penis on my bosses face. A penis people! Luckily his wife thought it was the funniest thing ever!

The next morning me and a few others in the office get an angry email from my boss asking who drew on his face. I'm like, oh shit, I'm dead. Good bye job. If I would have scrolled down a bit further in the email I would have read the part where he said he knew it was Lindee and he thought it was hilarious too.

But I didn't. So this whole time I'm thinking he is pissed and I'm gonna get it when I show up to work on Monday. What a relief to walk into his office and have him start laughing!


Luckily I didn't have to murder my sister after all.

The moral of the story?

Come on, there is NOTHING moral about that story!


kel said...

heeeheeee!! I so wanna hang with you guys!

Rebecca Jo said...

You two together are dangerous!

I have to say, I'm so jealous. A boss with a sense of humor. If I even said the word PENIS at my job, I'd be fired...

Can I go out with you & your sister & we can be triplets... even though I'm red headed, I still think we can make it work.

singedwingangel said...

roflmbo that is the kind of people everyone wants to work with and for. So glad ya'll had an awesome time..

Kristina P. said...

I need proof of this penis!

foxy said...

You girls have WAY TOO MUCH FUN together. :) Okay, maybe it's not too much... more like JUST ENOUGH. That is clearly awesome.

Megan said...

Hahahahaha!!! You two are just too much!! Too fricking (you don't want to know what I accidentally just typed) funny!! So awesome that you've got a boss with a sense of humor!

Pricilla said...

You are lucky.
Some bosses would not take to this.
erm, nor would their wives.

Orr's said...

I'll probably get a job offer soon.

AmyLK said...

You have to let me know when you guys are on a business trip! Sounds like SO much fun!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL! Little sisters, right?? And lately posts about crotches and penises....wonder where YOUR mind is, huh???

Love you! Even if you don't even email me or call me, especially when it's a stateside number and wouldn't cost you a friggin thing. It's ok. Really. I understand.

The heck I do!! CALL ME!!! OR ELSE!!

...or else I'll cry. Some more!!!!



Nana said...

Reno? It should be named EEEEEENO! I hope I don't offend anyone. The dude with you guys is not cute enough! I just had to get that out of the way. Ohhh, I am sounding mean. (like I care)

Anyway, you Mormon Amazon.... what kind of smiley face turns out to look like a penis? I just can't imagine it.
I don't want to imagine it. However, there should have been pictures. Ha ha ha. Then you would have been fired!

blueviolet said...

omg, you are the best party girl tall mormon twins ever, ever, ever!

Brian Miller said...

i never knew tall blonde mormons had so much fun...lol.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

What no picture of the penis? lol

You girls crack me up, oh yes at the bar. Really people ... lol

You girl look like you had so much fun, I still can't get over she ate the tongue, i'm gaging right now.

scrappysue said...

take me next time. actually. i'm very good with mascara

yulz said...

i thought you were going to post the pics of the drawing at the end LOL

Closer to Lucy said...

I wanna go! Thanks for the share, I so needed it! I still haven't regained my girl time mojo since the cross country move :(

No picture of the mascara master piece? If I'm going to live vicariously through yours(girl time) I will be needing pictures of all the fun stuff. Drawing on the boss's face included!!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

That is hilarious! You and your family sound like the most fun people!

Debbi said...

haha. she's got some serious balls. LOL

And, when you said you almost puked, don't act all "mormony" and pretend it was because of the cow tongue. I know you used to sing songs about hunting for buffalo chips on the plains and crap like that. (ha ha, get it? Crap like that. Oooh, I'm funny)

Yah, I know it had NOTHING to do with the tongue.
It was the open bar, and you, my dear, probably already had a hangover by dessert! Am I right or am I right?! ;)

Love ya.

Aleta said...

You and your sister sound like an absolute riot! I'm glad your boss boss has a sense of humor.

(there are some bosses that would deserve a penis drawn on their head!) I didn't just say that...

Jason, as himself said...

I think you forgot the first cardinal rule of Elko:

"Whatever happens in Elko, stays in Elko." I hope you don't get fired. By a man with a mascara penis on his face.

KK said...

Awesome! I went to work looking horrid on Monday myself. Ugh!

Julia said...

You two are making my head spin.

I am an old hag now.

No parties like that.

I pass out about 11 no matter what.

But I did do the hand on face "OH NO" move for your story.


Sarah said...

Wow! Your sis has guts!! It must be nice that you have a boss you can joke with! Sounds like you had a blast!

Debbie said...

You all sound like a blast! And yes, you do look like twins.

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LadyStyx said...

*laffin* Sounds like stunts my kid brother would do, to be honest. I think he got most of the humor gene in my family.

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