Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Fire and Brimstone My Arse!

I failed miserably to capture this white crap that is outside my window right now.




You can't tell in this pic, but it is snowing. I know your thinking "What's so special about snow?" Well, let me try to show you again.




It is snowing from the ground up people! Why oh why can't my phone capture the snowflakes that are floating upward? And why are these snowflakes floating upward back to the clouds they came from?


Maybe these snowflakes are too good for this earthly life and God is taking them back to heaven where they belong.


This being the case, I can only conclude that the snowflakes who make it to the ground are evil sinners and are only sent to this earth to cause icy sidewalks where, in a hypothetical situation, a girl wearing high heels slips and goes flying into the air only to land flat on her back while her cell phone is somehow ripped from her hands and thrown 10 feet ahead of her landing in a puddle of that friggin melted crap.




Or another hypothetical situation where a girl, trying to drive through an intersection after being parked at a red light, gets stuck because the devil worshiping snow has piled up around her tires leaving no sign of the black gravel beneath them. At which point mahem ensues as other cars try to drive around her just to end up sliding into a snowbank themselves.




Of course those are just hypothetical situations.


Who ever said that Hell is all fire and brimstone has never lived in Utah.

30 comments:

Rebecca Jo said...

You are cracking me up!!!

Barely Domestic Mama said...

Oh my goodness. Thanks for the laugh this morning! :)

Suzi said...

Can't say I have ever seen snowflakes called back up to the heavens. Certainly haven't given much thought to the ones on the ground as being evil. I guess not having snow would prevent me from thinking these thoughts.

Call Me Cate said...

You've obviously put a lot of thought into this and I think you must be right. Evil sinner flakes!!!

Kristina P. said...

I think that the evil sinner flakes are about to get us!

Wehrle said...

hmmm, I don't think you are trying very hard to convince me to move back to utah! I don't like any of those "hypothetical" situations! I HATE SNOW!

Staci said...

OR the rapture is happening and those are all the "good" lil snow girls and boys being carried away to heaven!!! im just sayin ;)

LOL and YES you can be my friend!! Your my new Bff

"blogger friend forever"

hee hee

Mamarazzi said...

funny!

i could seriously never live in Utah...or anywhere it snows for that matter...but especially Utah.

tee hee.

CLUFF FAMILY said...

You make life much more entertaining! So glad I am here and not there!

Yaya said...

Lol!

That's so bizarre!

Franco said...

i wis it would snow her in georgia, i'm envious.

Julia said...

I'm just cracking up from this one. Nice spin on the wind blowing snow back up your building...

Ben and Ash said...

Are you SURE those situations are hypothetical? Or did they maybe happen to your "friend"... hmmm- I wonder???

blueviolet said...

Have you started any new medications recently?

Lyndsay said...

I always knew those flakes couldn't be trusted.

The Wife O Riley said...

Maybe it's like stalactites and stalagmites, some go up, some go down.

angie said...

I would not even attempt to drive in it. That wouldn't be too hard, since the whole state would probably shut down if we ever saw any snow.

ChicagoLady said...

Maybe the flakes were directionally challenged? I bet you didn't see one GPS on those flakes, did ya? Or maybe those were all the male snowflakes, and they were lost, because they didn't get directions (and not having a GPS)...

tara @ kidz said...

Today's snowfall did suck. And I like winter, but c'mon - enough is enough! Your hypothetical situations cracked me up. Such visuals!

Donnetta said...

Maybe you are already in hell and hallucinating about the snow...

Your express train buddy. :)

Kitten said...

You're hilarious! Thanks for stopping by my place! It's nice to meet you!

Nana said...

Yeah, try driving around Capitol Hill in these snow storms. The hills, the tiny streets. THAT is Hell. I have watched some pretty weird stuff going on around here in the snow.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Dude, you can totally see your reflection in the window.

The evil snowflakes are trying to rise up to get you.

Nana said...

I live really close to where you work. Up by the Capitol. Small world. I would give you my address but some weirdo might come to visit. Not you of course.

i'm black betty said...

LOL!!! you so crazy...

LadyStyx said...

*laffz @ Pooba AND all the other commenters*

Thanks, I needed the laugh y'all!

Megan said...

Ugh! Dang snow! Hope you didn't hurt yourself in the fall that you didn't have.

kjamama said...

LOL...funny post. Utah has some strange happenings....btw thanks for commenting on my blog, and for letting me win the apron :) Here's to hoping I win!! YES!

nikkicrumpet said...

ok...maybe Utah isn't perfect...but dang I miss it so much my teeth ache..freaky snow and all!!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I think your last line in this post sums it up best. You need to leave Utah. Today. Right now. If Al is not on board with this plan, that is OK. He will be in time.

Move to California and be my neighbor. We can drink wine in the sunshine each and everyday.

XOXO

Wenda