Like That Girl On American Idol Crying Over Sanjai, Only Ten Times Worse And Spandex Shorts Were All The Rage.

I used to be an MJ fan.


When I was about seven years old my brother and I would go over to my neighbor's house to watch Michael Jackson's music videos. I'd lie on the couch hiding my face with my blanket so that nobody could see me crying. Yes, I was worse than Sanjai's crying fan on American Idol.



My neighbors were all boys and they would ask me why I was crying but I was too young to understand why.


I slept with a picture of him under my pillow at night and would dream about him in my sleep. It was an obsession; of course this was back when he was still "normal". (I say normal while making quotation marks with my hands because my version of normal is strange compared to others, but it's all relative right?)


So I am obviously, or not so obviously, over my crush on Michael. The end happened when my brother told me that Michael Jackson swore. Yes, I was so naive that swearing was the worst sin that I could think of. He might as well have told me that I was going to hell because I loved Michael.


I was devastated.


I refused to believe my brother and that night I held my shiny Michael Jackson photo in my hands and bawled all night long on the floor of my parent's bedroom. I knew that I just could not love someone who swore, so like the good girl I was, I finally let Michael go.




Good God I was so molly! Would someone slap that little girl into reality please?


Sheesh.


So what about you? Are you an MJ lover or hater?

I Hear Tie Dye Is Making A Come Back

Today is the day! I am headed to California to visit my friend Dennelle. Here's a picture of the little thing:




And here are that little thing's shoes:




You see we look like we're the same size in that first picture don't we? I know this is hard to believe but that picture is an illusion, you wouldn't know that I'm over a foot taller then her from that pic would ya? Well I'm really not, we're exactly the same size. That's the truth.


She is a consultant for the company that I work for and she lives in California but flies to Utah to work here during the week. We like to have girl's night at her second home, The Marriott, during the week.




When we get together we get pretty wild, ya know, how ya do. Clockwise starting on the left is Dennelle, Lacie, Lil sis Lin, and right at the bottom of the picture is my big toe, Bertha. Bertha's always trying to steal the show, sorry bout that.






So she's visited my home and hung out with me and Albert (and she still likes us! I KNOW right?) but I have never met her hubster so today's the day. We (Dennelle, me, & Albert) are flying out this afternoon for a weekend for Harley ridin, wine tourin, shoppin (Ugh, yes she's making me go shopping!) & Swimmin.


In preparation for this weekend I went and got me a tan. A spray tan. Didn't quite go as well as I'd hoped. My hands almost look like an orange and white tie dye shirt, but I hear those are coming back in style so I think I'm okay there.


I tried to get pictures of my orange and white hands but my phone really sucks and washes everything out, so this is the best I can do.






So all you Californians need to come to Temecula this weekend and party with us. I'm talking to you Hev, Fran, Suz, Julia, Jen and everyone else! If I don't see you this weekend, I'll be back in Utah on Sunday to tell ya all about it.


Actually you probably won't hear from me until Monday because I'm sure I'll be passed out for at least a day after our flight.

I Think It Was Father's Day

Hey does anybody remember that it was father's day on Sunday?

I do.

I remember it as if it were yesterday, the children were laughing, the soft breeze was warm and inviting, and the sun was shining casting reflections of blinding light off of my dad's bald head.




It was the perfect day.


The fam met at my brother's house to celebrate the man that helped borned us all. My cutie pa-tootie papa!




Yes we gathered to celebrate our bald hunka hunka very old dad, but our attention seemed to shift, as always, to the two mini hunka hunka babes.






But of course my dad was fine with that, in fact, he was the biggest culprit.




Here are our two hosts, my brother and his wife. Aren't the back of their heads just beautiful?




And here we have my brother, again, and my little sis Lin. Don't let those serious faces fool ya, they are not smart. Nope, not at all.




And this is the baby of my siblings, Alyse, and she's only smart when she wears her glasses.




And here is my niece Kelsi, she has blond hair and wears bright blue bracelets. She enjoys long walks on the beach and would love to not work at Target.




And this is my nephew Jake, he eats potato chips and wears black hats. He enjoys playing video games and would love to play video games.




And the cutest ones of the day are:

Logan! My nephew, Lin's baby boy. He enjoys playing with trucks, singing his abc's, and pooping on my carpet.








And last but definitely not least, Brolin! He is my brother's child and he enjoys mountain biking, reading the newspaper in the morning and golfing in the afternoon.




He also enjoys doing push ups in the grass.






And sorry ladies, but this one is taken. I've already arranged his marriage to Karin Katherine's beautiful daughter so don't even think about it!




Oh yeah, Bert and I were there too, here we are. We are the smart ones.






Isn't he dreamy?




Oh yeah, this was father's day, I forgot for a second. Back to Dad.




As you can see, he is very good looking. Not only that but he is the kindest person I know. He cares about his kids so much and would do anything for us. He just bought a new house and we are all so excited for him! And he is so excited because there is a sandbox in the backyard for his grandkids.

Especially Kelsi and Jake, I'm sure they love sand boxes.



I Love you Dad!

My Mom Always Told Me I Had A Magnetic Personality.

Hi.


Meet my new purse.





I was going to feature it over in my little "Enjoying" section on my side bar, but I'm not really enjoying it at the moment.





I bought it at TJ Maxx on sale for 30 bucks, it was originally $80. A deal right? That's what I thought too. And I love the color and the look and it just caught my eye and I had to have it.


One day after I bought it, this happened:




One side of the handle broke off. Dang. So I'm thinking I can be crafty can't I? I can figure out a way to fix this. So I drive to JoAnn's fabric in search of a solution.


They got nothin. I can't find anything that looks even similar to the little rusty gold bead lookin thingy. (Yes, that is the technical term. It's science)





I do however come across some extra strong magnets which got me thinking that I could use those as a quick fix until I can figure something else out.





So I stick two magnets inside the purse and one outside to secure the handle back on. It seemed to work pretty well, it's not the prettiest fix in the world but I just tell myself I can walk around with the opposite side facing out and nobody would notice.





So I'm feeling pretty proud of my quick fix and head over to the library to pick up a book. As I'm checking out I look down and notice that two of my magnets were gone and my handle had once again fallen off.


Crap.


So I retrace my steps looking on the floor for the lost magnets while the librarian behind the desk watches me like I was some crazy woman. Which is true, but still he didn't have to make it so obvious. After my thorough search I don't find them anywhere.


Double crap.


So I then drive to Roberts Crafts to see if I can find anything there.


Nothin.


I have a few more errands to run so I spend the next hour or so running to the grocery store and such with this stupid broken purse that I now have to hold in my hand instead of hang on my shoulders.





So I finally get home and the hubster comes to greet me with his usual kiss and hug when he stops and gets this "What the hell is wrong with you?" look on his face.


"What's that on your shirt?" He asks.


"What's what?"


He points to my shirt and I look down to find this:





WHAT THE?


Yep, apparently I was wearing an underwire bra that day and the magnets decided to make it their new home. So I had spent the last hour roaming around town with these two magnets stuck to my shirt!


No wonder that librarian was giving me such strange looks.

Unsolicited Advice

Holy crap it's already Wednesday, or hump day, whichever you prefer.


Of course I prefer humping over anything else.



I have a feeling that hundreds of new bloggers are going to be visiting me today to say hi. Why? Because I'm being featured over at SITS, a cute lil ol' bloggin network I joined decades ago.

Ok, so it was just last year but it sure feels like decades (love you guys btw). But since I have all your attention, I'd like to take this opportunity to offer some bloggy blog blog advise to y'all (crap, there's that accent again).

Please for the love of all that is holy, change your comments page to a pop-up window. Please! If you have your comments set up so that they are embedded below your post, poor Pooba cannot comment.

Tragic! I know.

My computer blocks me from commenting only on blogs that have that embedded feature so please everyone go right now to their "Settings" tab in blogger, Click on the "Comments" header and where it says:


Comment Form Placement

• Full page
• Pop-up window
• Embedded below post

Click on Pop-up window!

If you do this, you will win a prize! You will get into heaven and all your dreams will come true. So take my advice peeps, if for no other reason than to make me happy, cuz I know that's all y'all (sh**!)wanna do.

(Make me happy that is, not sh**, I was just cussing my southern accent there. Although, I guess we all sh** too so either way.)

Schmelanoma

So about a month ago I told you about my little friend The Mole that I had to get cut out of my chest so I thought I'd give y'all an update. (Don't know why I all the sudden have a southern accent went I start typing a post, my apologies)

Well the test came back positive for Melanoma and apparently the chunk of skin the doc took out last time wasn't big enough so I had to go get more removed last week.

Yay!

I'm happy to say that all went well, I've got 14 stitches underneath the skin and 16 on top. I would love to gross you all out by posting a picture of my stitches but they are located right under my boob and since I like to think of my blog as "family friendly" and because I'm always thinking of the children, I'll leave the picture out.

I did however draw you a picture, ya know, just so you get the idea.




Y'all didn't know I was an artist did ya? (There I go again, I apologize)

There was no fainting in the operating room this time. In fact it was quite the opposite, this nurse was fascinated with my cut and kept commenting on how cool it looked and what a great job the doctor was doing. Ummmkay, whatever psycho.

Now when I go back in 2 weeks to get the stitches out, the doc has to do a thorough exam. When I say thorough, I mean he has to examine everywhere that I have skin.


EVERYWHERE.


Which is EVERYWHERE.


I am so looking forward to that.


So on another note, Alex and I got to hang out with our nephews last Friday. We love having those two guys over, they are the cutest funniest kids ever! It was the day after I had my surgery so I was tired and loopy from the pain meds and they were concerned that I didn't feel good.




I explained to them that I had to get stitches and that I was just sore. They were so worried and of course being the boys that they are, they wanted to see the stitches. And like I said before, I'm always thinking of the children so I refused to expose them to such images.

Jaxon kept lifting up his shirt and saying "See, just go like this so we can see your stitches!"

After I explained that I couldn't do that, he then pulled his shirt collar down to show his chest and said "Ok, then just pull your shirt down like this!"

Oh, if it were only that simple. Alex and I were laughing so hard!

After the kids went home, Rachael, my sister-in-law (their mom) wrote me on facebook that Jaxon said,


"Mom, poor Kelly broke her heart and had to get it stitched back in!"





Oh I love that kid!

Queertastic!

This past weekend was one of my favorite times of the year.


The Utah Pride Festival!



This is a 3 day festival in celebration of gay, lesbian, transgender, & bisexual individuals. For us who have gay or lesbian family members and friends, we come together and join in the festivities and educational activities to show our support. You will never see a more diverse group of people come together like this anywhere else. At least I haven't!






Sunday is the biggest day of the event where they have a parade in the morning and various concerts throughout the day. I have to admit that I have missed the parade every year because I sleep in.

Come on, it's the weekend, that's what I do best!




But I hear it is queertastic! Now I'm warning you now, if you can't handle pictures of half naked men and girl on girl action, this post is not for you! Okay so holding hands is about all I found for the girl on girl action, but still. I also need to warn you that you will see mullets.

Yes. Mullets.

Alright here is some hand holding and mullet goodness all in one pic! Take it all in folks, that mullet is classic!




Classic.

Girls, there is eye candy everywhere! And your husbands can't even feel threatened because they are all gay. (The eye candy, not your husbands. At least I hope your husbands aren't gay, if they are then you have a serious case of fruit blindness and you should probably get that checked at your next eye appointment. Just sayin.)






Lindee (lil sis) and Logan (lil sis's son) got in on all the action, but I don't think Logan had as much fun...I have no idea why not.




There was one thing missing though...their asses!




Seriously, where did they all go?






Maybe this has something to do with it.




I kid, I kid! And I can kid because Lin and I are tight with the gay folk. They love us and we love them even more.






And like I said, there were all types of gays there. The flamboyant ones.




And some that were still in the closet. (If you can't read this guys shirt, it says "Nobody Knows I'm Gay" Ha! I love it!)




Even the pets were gay.




I feel bad that I had to leave my gay kitties at home. They don't do well in public and like to keep their lifestyle private, but they sent their love.

Now look at this beautiful Mastiff. I saw this dog and about died, he reminded me so much of my sweet Bain! And when I heard his familiar deep bark I almost cried, I love Mastiffs!






Now my favorite booth to visit every year is the GLDS. Of course this booth is not supported by the LDS (mormon) church, but it's a booth to show support for gays and lesbians that are or were LDS.




My favorite thing to look at is the missionary map. Anyone who is gay or lesbian and went on an LDS mission come to put a little flag on the state or country where they served. The map is always so full of flags that you can hardly see the map underneath! Unfortunately I couldn't find it this year so I don't have a pic for you.




I'm not one to get offended, I understand people have their own beliefs and feelings about issues such as this so I'm open to hearing your opinions. I don't judge, I'd just like to know what everyone else thinks and since this has been a popular subject in the news lately I just wanna know,


What's your view on this lifestyle? Do you support gay marriage?


Come on, spill it!