Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Apparently I'm Mr. Rogers


I arrived home from work yesterday, like I do every day. Albert had beaten me home and was already standing in the kitchen reading the mail. As I set my purse down on the counter I noticed his shirt was unbuttoned and his wife beater was showing.


"Is that how you dressed for work today?" I asked.


"Yes. I'm very manly." He replied in his deep manly voice.


"You need to get rid of that wife beater to show off what little chest hair you have and maybe add a few gold chains." I smirked as I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him hello.


Just a regular day in the life. And just like every other day of the week we went to change out of our work clothes.


(I just realized that it sounds like this is leading to sex, but don't worry, that is not the point I am getting at. Please proceed.)


I change from my work attire into my home attire which includes a change of underwear. Alex notices what I'm doing and he looks at me as he is hanging up his shirt.


"You are like Mr. Rogers except with underwear." He claims.


"What?" I look at him in disbelief.


"Every day you come home and change out of your underwear into a new pair just like Mr. Rogers changes his sweaters!" He's now laughing at me wearing only his boxers and wife beater.


"I am NOT Mr. Rogers!" I demand.


(See, no sex is happenin here. Mr. Rogers isn't exactly a turn on.)


Ok, let me explain. I have different underwear that I wear for different things throughout my day. For work I have to wear a thong so that there are no panty lines in my work pants and skirts. Completely understandable right?



For home, I want to be comfy so I change out of the thong into a regular pair. Who wants to have wedgie all day long?


Well besides Lady Gaga.


Then I go to the gym. When I get home from the gym I change again. You don't want to spend the rest of the day in your gym clothes right? So I change my underwear too, which is now my third pair of the day.


Is that so wrong?


And obviously Albert has never watched Mr. Rogers otherwise he would know that he only changes his sweater once, not twice.


So you see, I'm not like Mr. Rogers AT ALL.


Fricken Bert!

55 comments:

Princess Andy said...

that sounds like a quirky thing maybe?

i love a girl with shared weirdness;)

just don't wear underwear.

unless i wear a skirt, this is my theory.

'cause if i'm wearing a skirt with no underwear, that's just slutty.

not to mention a tad breezy.

andy

Lee said...

That is Hilarious!!

Amanda Hopper said...

You are too funny! Yall need a reality tv show!

Julia said...

You're not Mr. Rogers. Yes I agree.

You ARE MRS. ROGERS with slightly more compulsion.



Psst... by the way.

After I ride the horses or exercise or anything I change out underwear too. Sometimes three times a day as well. BUT I only sport the jockey underwear for women so I have no claims to those things I can only call "butt floss."

confused homemaker said...

interesting, perhaps you should talk to a doctor about why you need to change your skivies so often;)

The Wife O Riley said...

I totally get it. I would come home, take a shower and put new undies on and then my pjs. I hated having the stink of the office on me and to put old panties on after a shower is just gross.

Rebecca Jo said...

I need to send you a gift card to Victoria's Secret so you can stay on top of your underwear stash! :)

Pricilla said...

On the few,rare times I get off this stinkin' Farm and I wear real clothes not ones smelling of male goat - ones that require a thong I too, immediately change out of the thing as soon as I get back home.

Boy, was that one long, convoluted sentence or what?

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

My only critique, get to sexin. NOW. I wonder what your protocol for sexin is, do you have to change into a different pair of undies for that, and then into a different pair after the deed is done... hmmm so many questions...

I have a filthy mind, the second you say sex, I'm pretty much stuck on that.

Marissa said...

Hehe, you're funny. But in your defense, changing your undies 3 times a day is WAY better than only changing them once every 3 days, right!!!

Jen said...

I am sorry but I just can't get past the laundry that you create not to mention the amount of underwear you must have. ;)

Kristina P. said...

I just wear one pair of very large underwear.

dani said...

and wouldn't that be a fun children's show?

TheReadFam said...

Wow. Nice booty lady gaga.

well,,,, anyways, now i forgot what the question was that you asked.

oh yes. big pics. I have an account with smugmug (love it) if you sign up be sure to tell them i sent you (they give their clients a little referral kick back).

so go to smugmug.com, for a free trial. you can upload all the pics you like in original size and download images in original size too.
I use it for my back up in case my computer crashed or there was a fire or our house was struck by lightning (really happened) we wouldn't lose anything.
Then you can choose what size you want to post images and load them straight from smug mug to the blog or FB or email smaller sizes to friends. Very nice. you can also print your faves right from the site. they are professional printers so the quality is great.

you can see my account at auburnsoul.com

of coarse i have about 70,000 picture on mine but they are all unlisted so no one can see them since i mostly use it for my clients to view their pictures. didn't want the whole world to see pics of my giving birth. you know how it is.
hope that helps.

Monica said...

You know, Mr. Rogers was just soooo, sigh, dull! YOU are not dull. :-) I imagined walking down the street, into his neighborhood and falling asleep on the spot like I had narcolepsy. Everyone was mowing their lawn, eating sandwiches on Wonder Bread. Ack! But darn if I didn't like going to that magical little kingdom and have Meow Meow annoy me with her voice. (I may have a little residual annoyance.) Those were the days.

Aunt of 14 said...

How many times do you have to do laundry and how many pairs of undies do you own?! Now I am paranoid. I understand changing undies after you bathe or shower, that is a requirement... but I never thought of the after exercising part. You are so right. I never thought of that. Now I feel so yeechy about myself!

[does this make us even? ;-) I mentioned things under the water that you can't see, remember? ]

LadyStyx said...

*laffin* It makes perfect sense to change the panties at least one additional time. Who wants to walk around in sweaty, skanky drawers all day after exercising?? Ew.

*laffin even harder at the Mr Roger's reference* GMTA...I have one in a scheduled post for tomorrow called Wontcha Be....My Neighbor. *laffin* Set that bugger up last night!

Jill said...

OMG! LMAO!!!! Mrs. Rogers.. I will never look at him the same. I will now picture HIM wearing a thong!

JennyMac said...

Mrs. Rogers....too funny. Alex is getting you back for the Marsha Marsha Marsha post. :)

Stephanie Faris said...

CUTE! I wear the same panties all day. I used to wear thongs but I've gotten to a place in my life where I just want to be comfy.

But panties don't take that much water to wash. As long as you have enough pair to last you, it's all good! I think men just look for something to tease us about. It's their own personal form of entertainment.

Heather said...

"It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood..." ;)

survivinglifedaily said...

Nothing like Mr. Rogers at all!! You are hilarious!

Hit 40 said...

When I got married, the first load of wash for the week only contained one pair of underwear for my husband! Yuck!!! We had a talk.

Suzi said...

Hubby should be thrilled! You change two times? That means he gets to see booty more often than not. Win/win right?

WhisperingWriter said...

Haha.

Well, you're better than me. I couldn't wear a thong at all. They're just too uncomfortable.

I'd definately change my drawers after the gym though.

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

I love the visuals I'm getting here! ;)

Hernandez Family said...

Well then we all must be like Mr. Rogers! We all come home and change from work clothes to home clothes. You just happen to have work panties!

Megan said...

Sounds like you make a lot of dirty laundry. :0P

blueviolet said...

Panty lines are bad?

Lee said...

I've worn a thong maybe once in my life, but I change my underwear when I take a shower, and then usually before I go to bed.
I'm weird.

Yaya said...

You wear three pairs of underwear a day?? Dang. I only own 3 pairs.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

AHAHAHAHA! I love it! Now I won't rag on Princess Nagger changing her underwear 3 times a day... ;)

Jason, as himself said...

No, I totally get this. I have work underwear that contains everything, because---ew! gross!---I'm a teacher!!!

But then I come home and I'm tired of feeling all restricted so I must change into boxers to give my boys some breathing room.

Then when it is time for bed, I must put on a sleeping boxers which are even looser and freer...or nothing at all.....

Alexis AKA MOM said...

You kill me you know that! LOL 3 pairs in one day. Crap most days I'm running around just trying to find one. After having the kids I seem to have a lack of need to shop for cute under garments ... LOL

3 pairs, you're like Madonna ... you crack me up. I so needed a laugh, thanks :)

thatgirlblogs said...

you could probably knock it down to two, but I'm not sure how. that's a convincing argument you have here.

confessionsofacountrygirl said...

I'm gonna go there....You are so much better looking than Mr. Rogers....Lady Gaga picture....A little bit creepy.

Dropping by from my new place on the "Dark Side."

y u l z said...

Hilariously Hygine :)Mine will be around 4 because I shower 4 times a day hahaha

Justine said...

Damn girl, how many pairs of panties do you OWN?

The Mrs. Rogers of panties. I like it. Great observation, Alex!

Justine :o )

Aleta said...

I was so happy to read this post! Most of the time I do the laundry at home, but when Greg and I went on vacation just recently... we needed to do laundry and he offered to go to the laundry mat that was in town. Of course I took him up on the offer. When he came back he said, "I never realized that you change you underwear that many times." (Guess he isn't as observant as he'd like to believe.) I'll have him read your post, so he gets a better understanding. Hehe

Nana said...

I think you should just stop wearing underpants. The amount of money you could save in detergent would be staggering.

Kathy B! said...

I agree! Skip the underwear entirely. Think of all the laundry you'll save :)

Mandy said...

LOL! I have never given much thought to the amount of times I change my clothes...but I am very much like you. The whole Mr. Rogers analogy is hilarious. My kids were looking at his photo and then I scrolled down a little and saw the final picture. Whoops! moved that one out of sight ASAP! :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

Well he changes into the "home" cardigan, and then his jacket again when he leaves. I know, it used to be my favorite show! I used to pretend that he was my boyfriend!!!!! Thankfully my taste has improved dramatically!!

Did you know he used to be a Marine???? It's true!

CLUFF FAMILY said...

You are such a freak Kel- I love ya!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I'd go through my whole underware collection in 2 days if I changed mine that many times lol.

Christie-The ChatterBox said...

Besides laughing, all I can say is you must have A LOT of underwear!

Orr's said...

No sex?
Lame.
I change my underwear and clothes like 2 or 4 times. I cannot wear jeans around the house it drives me nuts.

Debbie said...

Any post tying Mr. Rogers and Lady Gaga together is a stroke of genius.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I literally cackled through this post. I totally get ya. You cannot just wear a thong if you don't have to, and of course ya hafta change after the gym. Men just don't get it. Mr. Rogers, though....? I'm sorry, but that's hilarious. Just don't tell Big Al I said so.

Frogs in my formula said...

I hate thongs. Commando is the only way to go--less laundry. Hilarious post.

Miss. Candy said...

And here I thought I was the only one who did that!! As SOON as I walk in the door I dive in the drawer for the comfy undies!! The Mr. R connection is great!!!

Stop by the blog some time!

The Nice One said...

You could just go no underwear and skip over all that changing. Sounds like a lot of laundry.

Melissa said...

Who can sleep in thongs? I can't I immediately change.

Much to my husbands disappointment!

ChicagoLady said...

I think I discovered the reason for the no sex. You need to put a thong back on after working out, and wear that around the house. Then you and Alex will have lots and lots of sex, lol.

I definitely see the need to change after the workout.

(GMTA= Great Minds Think Alike)

Amy said...

Me too, me too! I cannot wear the same underwear all day and then at night too. That's sick!