Wednesday, August 5, 2009

To My Nincompoop Neighbors

When you see me walking my dog, do not wink at me and ask:


"So who's walking who?"


You know what? I'M walking my dog! That's how it works. Yes, my dog is very big but do you see him pulling on the leash? No, he is walking WITH me people. You aren't being clever, you aren't being funny, I've heard it many many times before. In fact you've probably already asked me that many many times before!



If you would have asked me this 6 years ago, it would have been different. Yes, when he was a puppy, he was the one doing the walking. As many of you have witnessed, Dozer would take off after some poor sap dragging me behind him.

Yes, I've been tripped, tangled, mowed across the grass, skid across the ice, dragged through the snow, and trampled in the dirt.

Yes, I've had both knees bloodied, (and scarred now thank you Dozer) both elbows slammed onto the pavement, the leash burned into my hand, and even had my arms ripped out of their sockets.


Yes folks, I am armless.





But that was then. It has taken a lot of training (and tricking) my dog into submission on our walks so isn't it obvious now who is walking who? I've worked hard to be the one on the right side of the leash.


So let's get it out on the table right now.


I am walking Dozer.
Dozer is not walking me.


If you are the next fool who asks me that question, I will feed you to my dog.

Then we'll see who's walking who!




Good boy.

37 comments:

The Rambler said...

Amen.

You know. To YOU walking the dog.

Those bastard neighbors!

xoxo

The Nice One said...

He is beautiful!
Glad you're the walker.
Mine tend to try and walk me.

blueviolet said...

Sic 'em! You and your dog!

Sara said...

My rottie and I would get the dumbest comments. Like "Can I pet your dog?" and I say "Sure, she's fine" and the idiot replies as he is reaching for Daisy "Oh, that is what the all say right before I get bit."

Dozer looks like a doll. Love him!

survivinglifedaily said...

Stupid neighbors! At least you know your under control!

Blogalicious Designs said...

WHAA HA HA T the eff ever dude...your dog walks you and you know it!! its written all over his face.....but i still love u...and you cant feed me to the dog because we are really far away from each other so HA!!

:)

Blogalicious Designs said...

oh SHOOT there i go again....leavin a comment and leaving you to guess who left it....maybe i shouldnt say for fear i might get a really big box shipped to my doorstep with dozer in it.......

NAH ill take my chances..

Stacers

Kitten said...

Dozer has the cutest little grey beard! He looks like a good boy.

I hate it when I'm talking about my cats, in a conversation when others are talking about their animals, and people go, "Oh, so I REALLY see who runs the household!" OK, do my CATS pay the mortgage and the electric bill and go to work? Let's get real here!

Karin Katherine said...

I would just really die laughing if your neighbors WERE reading your blog.

Better hope you dear sisters don't email it to them or print it out and post it on their door! LOL

Stephanie Faris said...

I had a little terrier once and I could NOT train him to stay with me. He was just all over the place. We're working on getting our new dog, who is about 15 pounds heavier than that terrier, to let us walk her.

Kristina P. said...

You could just be like the lady in our complex who drives her car while her dog runs beside it.

Justine said...

Aw, look at him! He's so gorgeous! Is he a lab mix?
I have to say, Strudel is SO walking ME. I am this huge woman and she can literally pull me off my feet!

Justine :o )

Pricilla said...

He is a pretty boy. Uhm, who rules the household?

Lee said...

That's why I'm glad I don't have a big dog.
I WOULD be getting walked by it.
I have enough trouble with my damn cat.
She's walked me a few times. Cats are so freaking fast. She'll take off, and I won't have the strength to stop her.

Suzi said...

I love big dogs. They are the sweetest, but look intimidating enough to keep people guessing.

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

You go girl!!!!

Dog posts always make me smile.

Jen said...

some people are just so dumb.

Julia said...

He looks like a happy chap!! I still cant get over the picture of you in your apron and him staring at your butt though.

Frogs in my formula said...

He is so HANDSOME. I want a dog soooooooo badly.

I agree with Jen: People are just so dumb. When I walk with my co-worker at lunch people ask, "Walking today?" Hello, yes, we are obviously walking.

Rebecca said...

He's a beautiful dog!

Nothing annoys me more than people who make ridiculous comments about my dog b/c they think they know what they are talking about, so I feel your frustration.

Enjoy walking your pup!

José Ramón said...

A very interesting Greetings Blog

LadyStyx said...

My goodness... it's a minihorse! He IS gorgeous though.

confessionsofacountrygirl said...

I'm jealous! Both of my dogs walk me and they're a combined weight of maybe 40 pounds!

Good boy Dozer!

Rebecca Jo said...

Your baby is beautiful!!! I so HEART big dogs!

For me - yeah - our lab is DRAGGING me down the road!!! And try walking 4 at once... The lab DRAGGING me - the Aussie trying to herd the other 3 - the little Zoe scurring everywhere - & my fat boy Bruno who I have to drag... its quite a show to watch!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Silly Sis!!

You really got your panties in a twist over this didn't you??? LOL!

Tara said...

thats awsome! Your dog rocks, big ones are the only way to go I tell ya!

Hernandez Family said...

So who walks who?

Sorry I couldn't help it!

Kathy B! said...

I will have to put this on my list of stupid things I've said/probably say... that I need to stop saying!

Oops :)

WhisperingWriter said...

Well, in my case, that dog would definately be walking me. I'd be terrified that it would bite my throat out or something. Big dogs tend to make me nervous. Actually, the little ones sometimes do too because they like to bite at your ankles and you can't quite KICK the thing away because then the owners will be horrified so you're sort of like, "Piss off, go bug someone else.." but those tiny dogs have an attitude and just KNOW when you don't like them so they refuse to leave..

THE Stephanie said...

Can I please be there when you feed someone to your dog? That would be freaking hilarious!!! LOL

klynch said...

Too funny youtell them!!
PS gave you an award over on my page! Please stop by to pick it up!

Annie Harper said...

Maybe you should just BACK UP OFF YOUR NEIGHBOR Kel. That's right, I said it. Maybe Neighbor and I have a little something in common. MAYBE I've said this to you before, perhaps multiple times...

And I'll probably say it again.

Prepare yourself now.

-but don't prepare Dozer, we JUST became friends again. AND I'd probably give him diarrhea - you know, diet change and all. Really I'm just thinking of the dog here.

Yaya said...

Oh my gosh I get this ALL THE TIME and it drives me insane. There are only so many times I can answer "haha! That's a funny one! I've never heard that before!"

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Love it girl! And those pictures are the best.

Jason, as himself said...

Thanks for the warning!

Debbie and Lane said...

This post made me laugh, he's adorable I want to smoosh his face!

Megan said...

Such a big handsome boy!! =)

The neighbors can suck it! So annoying!

Chewy's gotten a lot better, but he still tries to drag me sometimes.