Monday, August 3, 2009

Pake Lowell

The Silkman fam got together again for the annual Lake Powell trip where we spend a week roughing it out in the middle of nowhere, with no contact with civilization.

We spend the week peeing in the weeds and bathing in the lake. We each had to catch our own dinner and cook it over the fire that was started by rubbing two sticks together over a pile of weeds.

Our only shelter was a fort we made out of logs and at night we took turns staying awake to protect our little camp from snakes, mountain lions, bears, and to make sure little Ava didn't eat all of our food supply during the night.

We became one with nature. Er somethin like that.

The morning we left for the lake I actually went into internet withdrawals. I just didn't know how to do anything without the internet. It was like that commercial to quit smoking where the guy tries to drink a cup of coffee without a cigarette in his hand and spills it all over himself.

My fingers just stopped working; they'd been so used to typing that they didn't know what to do with themselves. Ya know, like Ricky Bobby.

"I don't know what to do with my hands."

I won't say it was easy, the sweats and hallucinations of internet withdrawal are intense but I got through it.


When I saw this, it helped.

The first four days we got to spend with the my niece Ava and nephews Colin and Jaxon. The boys make me laugh all the time and Ava is such a Diva. She struts around in her swimming suit and her sunglasses on like she is the hottest thing since sliced bread! (Which she is of course)

Even though she'd put her sunglasses on upside down.

So my mom in law, Cris, bought the kids some blow up animals to play with in the water. Colin chose the killer whale blow up toy which turned out to be a people hater. Every time Colin tried to sit on it, the whale would buck him off. So my dad in law, Terry, decided that he had to master the killer whale.

And master it he did.

He was pretty proud of himself.

This year we had a new addition, this massive tube-like structure that is supposed to be impossible to tip over.

That thing is ridiculous, look how huge the sucker is! Albert had a hard time getting up on it.

He finally aloud the others to help him up, it was quite a site. I got a lot of pictures of his cute butt while he was being pulled up but since I value my life, I won't post any of those pics.

Now Colin got to try out the new kid's ski this year.

After skiing, he proudly declared to Cris:

"Grandma, I'm pretty talented on that." He is just so funny! I'm sure he'll be showing off his talent more this summer.

And what is Lake Powell without a water fight? Colin, Jaxon, and even Ava got in on the action. Nobody was safe with these kids and their water guns!

After Colin annihilated Terry via water gun, Clay decided to surprise Terry from behind. And not with just lake water mind you, but with ice water from the cooler, it was only fair.

Love Terry's face in this pic:

And if that competition wasn't enough, we had to continue throughout the night with a game of beer pong between Alex and Clay. Alex dominated even though Clay cheated. (Yes Clay, we all know you cheated!)

Look at that proud Mama!

The next night the competition was Monopoly, a favorite I have noticed with the Silkman clan. No, I didn't win but that's because I lost on purpose so I could go to bed. Otherwise I would have won hands down.

Common, you all know it's true!

This is how we rough it:

Told you we were roughing it.

Saturday night everyone had to go back to the real world leaving me, Al and Ma & Pa Silkman behind. So sad to see them go but as Terry drove the boat back to the dock, he taught the young'uns a valuable lesson.

Before the boat reached the dock, some guy cut their boat off not once but twice! Understandably sweet Grandpa Terry got a little irritated with the guy and attempted to let the guy know it. Terry yelled:

"F@%! Head!"

Lesson: Don't ~F~ with Grandpa Silkman!
(Luckily baby Ava was asleep so she did not learn the new word, at least not then)

After everyone was gone, it was just the four of us adults. Don't be fooled though, we adults know how to party!


Cris and Al fished...

...and fished, and fished and fished.

I witnessed my first fish poop of my life. Alex was holding up his catch of the day when it decided to take the last dump of its life right there on the deck. Sorry I didn't get a pic of the fish in action. I gagged, grabbed my mouth, puked, swallowed it, and then ran inside. Or something like that.

Fish Poop sucks ass.

After everyone left, we had plenty of time to get in a lot of wake boarding. Al is now a pro wake boarder as am I.

Funny how every time the guys would go wake boarding, as soon as they got up, they had to adjust their shorts.

Heaven forbid one leg's short is higher than the other, you've gotta look good while you're wake boarding ya know. Now ladies, this is what happens when you flash your boobs at your husband while he's wake boarding.

Love him!

So when it was my turn, I totally rocked it of course. Okay, more like hung on for dear life. But I have to say I was pretty proud of myself because I only got WUTB. once! (Water up the butt hole)

Wake boarding is hard work. See these hands? They have blisters; I sacrificed my soft girly hands for the wake board. You feel sorry for me now don't you?

I told you we were roughing it.

We had some romantic moments on the lake as well. Al and I shared some smores over the little fire Alex started in the sand. And of course he took the opportunity to try and get in my pants.

Al: "My love for you burns like this fire."

Me: "Uh huh" Laughing.

Al: "What? I'm not joking. Here I am trying to be romantic and you laugh in my face.

Me: "Right." Rolling my eyes, "Okay, try it again."

Al: "My love for you burns like this fire."

Me: "Oh Al, you're so sweet! How romantic!" Trying to hold back my laughter.

That's about as romantic as it gets around these parts! So romantic in fact that we saw fireworks.

No for real, there were fireworks. The boat next to us, or as Cris lovingly refers to them as the Stupid Idiots, were lighting fire works over the brush. And of course a fire started.

Stupid Idiots.

So Cris comes runnin up to the top of the boat to turn on the spot light, while yelling to let them know that they are stupid idiots and if they are going to do fireworks, they should do them over the lake.

Stupid idiots.

Al and Terry were our big brave firemen and grabbed a couple tubs of water and ran to help put out the fire. Luckily for the Stupid Idiots, our firemen got there in time and were able to save the day and we all survived.

Including the Stupid Idiots.

We can't go to Lake Powell without some sort of catastrophe happening! But the rest of the trip was pretty calm.

Funniest thing about the trip? Cris ordered enough food to feed a family of Hippos for about 2 years. This is the food we had left over AFTER THE TRIP WAS OVER.

36 bags of chips, 34 pounds of lunchmeat, 20 bags of beef jerky, and candy galore! We can always count on Mama Silkman to make sure nobody starves to death

Refrigerator Number 1

Refrigerator Number 2

Told ya we were roughing it.


Kristina P. said...

Your family is awesome. You guys do the coolest things!

Oh, and I would never be able to pull myself up on that huge inflatable raft, and then I would drown.

Anonymous said...

Looks like an Awesome trip but the no Internet thing would be a dealbreaker For me. Can't believe grandma yelled that! Haha! Great pics!

THE Stephanie said...

Yeah, that looked pretty rough, I must say. But at least you had peanut M&M's to get you through.

Julia said...

Too much fun. Yep you had a little too much fun.

And was that organic ground beef in freezer?? Kind of looks like it. So at least you were parting in an environmentally friendly way.

Down right sensible of your family.

I'd be happy to carry off the beef jerky and red vines.

Did anyone get sunburned??

You must have taken about 500 pictures I am guessing.

OK I am done. Welcome Back. :)

Janelle said...

Oh the agony of roughing it, and to add fish poop and WUTB!!! Glad you survived??!!

Looks like so much fun!

Lindsey said...

WUTB!! Holy crap I laughed out loud here at work. So funny!!! Love your wittiness!

nikkicrumpet said...

You know it's a successful trip when you only have a single episode of WUTB. You guys do Lake Powell proud!

Aunt of 14 said...

Pake Lowell sounds right doesn't it? :) I drooled over the house boat... wondered why you weren't scared of the unknown under the water... piranda's and the loch ness monster's cousin and all that? Applauded for your FIL who mastered the Blown up Orca and awwww'd over your beautiful niece! Looks like you had the best time!

Lee said...

Man, that looks like a hell of a time. I've always wanted to go to Lake Powell. My friends used to promise to bring me. Never did.


Heath'e' said...

Wow, ruffing it is SOOO hard! I miss "ruffing it" at Powell. Looks like you had a blast, only I'm disappointed you didn't add a pic of your smokin' bod in your bikini!!
love you kel bell

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

Man, I would "rough it" with you guys anytime!

And I ALWAYS wear ski gloves when water skiing so I don't get those nasty blisters!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

Man, I would "rough it" with you guys anytime!

And I ALWAYS wear ski gloves when water skiing so I don't get those nasty blisters!

Karin Katherine said...

LOVE how your family rolls. You have the coolest darn family in the history of families.

I'm so jealous...and don't think I'm not just joining you on a family vacation next year. Whether you invite me or not.

Suzi said...

Wow, should have done more with our Gold Lake trip. You put me to shame lady.

Looks like you all had a great time. I will have to come with you next time. You wouldn't be taking home so much food. My boys would wipe you out.

How many fish did you eat? Is Albex afraid to get some fish guts/poop on him? I noticed the glove. Maybe he needs to take a lesson from my boys. :-)

Welcome back to your know the internet and the bloggy world.

Jen said...

Wow, I loved this post. I so want to go on vacation with you. It looked like a totally awesome time! I totally want one of those blow up animals! And that food, good lord!

piecemeal people said...

Looks pretty rough alright...

I can't help but think how awkward it must have been, with Alex trying to get in your pants while someone was RIGHT THERE, taking pictures of you guys! :)

blueviolet said...

So that's what roughing it is? All this time, I've been saying no way. I had no idea roughing it is actually better than staying home.

Megan said...

Ya know what? I feel so sorry for you. I can't believe that you were dragged along on a trip like that. Made to suffer the wilderness like cavemen and all. No food. No drink. No fun. NO INTERNET. Damn. I'm so glad I don't have parents (or inlaws) like that. Sheesh. Here's a bunch of (((HUGS))) for your suffering.

PA-SHAW!!!! :0P

Pricilla said...

Glad you had so much fun. Where are the goats? No goats?!

Mammatalk said...

What a great time. And, yes, you were so roughing it!

Debbie said...

What a great place and fun trip. I just had a week without internet and it almost did me in:)

Hernandez Family said...

Now thats my kind of roughing it!

Ps. ya know they have gloves so your pretty little hands don't get messed up.

Justine said...

Holy crap! Can we discuss with the Silkmans the possibility of them adopting me? I wanna see what it feels like to be rich and pampered! OMG, you are so on my bad side right now. Floating on that big, gorgeous lake on a damn house boat. No peeing in the weeds. No bathing in the lake. I dislike you heartily right now.

LOVE that pic of the back of Alex's arm with the tat. Yummy!
Ava and the rest of the kids? Adorable?

Hey, you can Fed Ex all that leftover food to me if you'd like. I could put it to good use.

Girl, you crack me up to no end. I'm not going to point out the couple of funny misspells here. Instead, I'll just have you look at the TITLE of your damn post for a moment. Have you done it? Good.

PAKE Powell? Have they suddenly changed the name? Or, could Pake be the Indian name for Lake? Pronounced "Pahkee"?

Oh yeah, you're good. Keep it up, Kelly... this shit is totally entertaining for me!

Justine :o )

Sara said...

Looks AMAZING! Just sounds like a wonderful time! Great post!

Bee and Rose said...

You were rockin' the waves, girlfriend! What a great photo story!

We love doing the houseboat trip on Lake's always a blast!


Marissa said...

Wow! I have a whole new respect for you and your family. I just don't know how anyone could survive such terrible conditions for so many days ;o) You sure do sacrifice a lot to spend some quality time with the fam!!

Kathy B! said...

I've said it before, but I totally wanna be an honorary Pooba. Your family is so much fun!

And as a veteran water skiier I can attest to the fact that WUTB is not for the faint of heart :)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

I was so worried peeing the in the woods, that something could have come up and gotcha. Nothing worse then who hoo bitters ... LOL

Then I saw it, you kill me girl! Then I did a head slap and said hello don't I know what her vacations usually look like ... LOL

Looks like so much fun, and the kids I think got the best things, those animals rock!

LadyStyx said...

After the first day I can pretty much handle the no internet dealy so long as I have enough batteries to keep my camera running. I find that so long as I'm snapping pix, I know that I'll have plenty of bloggy fodder for later.

scrappysue said...

i have another blog friend who goes to lake powell - it looks like a popular place, with good reason!

Queenie Jeannie said...

What fun you guys all had!! WOW! Totally jealous while at the same time so happy for you all! Did you miss me??? I know you did!

PS Terry is um....riding that whale looks dirty and I'll leave it at that!!!


WHAT FUN! Have I seen you wakeboard before? I dont think I have! God job- you look hotttt

foxy said...

Looks like a GREAT time! Roughing it indeed! Ha...

(note to self: google Lake Powell and visit immediately)

yulz said...

That's FUN

Oh.. I really miss reading your blogs :)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Looks like a ton of fun! Wish I had been there :)

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