Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Rob, Jesus Hates You

Rob, I thought you were better then this. Seriously, was this a joke?


Because I didn't find it very funny. The only reason I rented this movie was because YOU were in it. I thought, Hey look, he's even pale in this movie too so it'll be just like watching Edward so it's gotta be good right?


Oh Rob, can't you see that this movie was just amateur-ish (word) and so bad that it was funny? I had to stifle my laugh to avoid hurting your precious feelings. I'm for real. I was covering my mouth and my face was so red that Dozer thought I was dying. You almost gave my dog a heart attack.


WTF?


Whoever made this movie should be spanked. No, they should be shot.


Shot and killed.


Seriously, what were you thinking? I know this was made almost 5 years ago so it technically was pre-twilight, but for us here in the United States, where we actually prefer our actors to ACT in their movies, it was just released this year so we expected magic. But no, now I'm scarred Rob,


SCARRED.


Now how do you expect me to watch New Moon this Friday and still take you seriously? I don't know if I can do it. Luckily for you your character is absent for the majority of the film, or at least should be according to the book.


I'm sorry but I think this means it's over between us.


I am SO team Jacob now and Edward can thank YOU for that.





Even Jesus is mad at you.


Repent Rob, REPENT!

27 comments:

Jen said...

Oh man, that bad huh? Thats terrible. Just breath, have some wine and everything will be better.

Kristina P. said...

Is this the one with the gay scene?

blueviolet said...

I hate when the studios trick us like this. He's a sinner. That must be it.

One Cluttered Brain said...

Hey, I was always Team Jacob! Welcome to Team Jacob! Glad to have you. Trailer looks kinda lame too.
Sorry you had to sit thru it.

Julia said...

Yer taking this a little seriously now Pooba...

Chief said...

Im afraid to watch it...

Thinking I might try it...

Squeezing ass cheeks

Chief said...

It is better with the sound off. He is really yummy!

Suzi said...

On a Rob note? I'm going to see a midnight showing of New Moon tomorrow night. Jealous?

WhisperingWriter said...

Rob scares me.

Jason, as himself said...

Once I wrote a note to a girl in my fifth grade class that said, "Jesus hates you."

I got in SO MUCH TROUBLE. It WAS Orem, Utah, in 1979.

Missy said...

Hey Suzi, I'm going to the midnight showing too. I'm so excited.

In the twilight books I was all team Edward but Rob is just plain painful to watch even though he's so pretty.

Pricilla said...

erm, is he really acting in the Twilight movie or is he just standing there staring blankly and looking pale?

no offense

Lee said...

Saw New Moon tonight.
It f*cking rocked.
So, yeah.

Better than Twilight. Twilight blows.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh no he didn't! Well guess I'll take that one off the queue. Guess thank you for watching it for me? :)

Jamie said...

I've always been Team Jacob...Edward and Rob don't do anything for me. I can hardly wait to see New Moon!

Karin Katherine said...

Is this a good time to mention the fact that I've never seen Twilight or read the book or understand all the hooplah? or however you spell that? Maybe I should just keep that to myself.

Cairo Typ0 said...

First: i LOVE those sheets in your wanting sidebar. Gorgeous.

I've been Team Jacob since i saw taylor do a one armed handstand in the sand. *sigh* I know that makes me a dirty old woman but part of me doesn't care.

Janalyn and Rob said...

I was considering watching that movie...glad you saved me from wasting my time!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

So if I need a good laugh, that's the movie to rent? Cool.

;)

Sara said...

Team Jacob. Glad you've been enlightened. :D Adorable post! Did you see Johnny Depp was named Sexiest man? Let's see a post on your thoughts on that one... :D

Rebecca Jo said...

look at the cover... the make up on him is screaming LOW BUDGET...

I think Mr. Rob needs to cling his life on Edward for the next few years! :)

foxy said...

Okay, so i rented that one for the same reason you did. And you're right. IT TOTALLY BLOWS CHUNKS. In fact, I couldn't even finish it (the horror!).

However, I saw the trailer for Remember Me today and it looks TOTALLY GOOD. So maybe he can redeem himself with that.

I've gotta say, though, I'm surprised that it made you switch to Team Jacob. I don't think anything could make me go to that extreme. I'm still Team Edward all the way, baby. ;) And I can't wait to see the movie tomorrow afternoon!

Yaya said...

Lol~

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

I'm not surprised. They didn't pick him for his fab acting skills. I think he's just paid to look pretty and I find I can live with that (ha!)

I'm going to the Gateway tomorrow night for the Utah Mom's showing. I'm all excited. I'm going to have to totally hide from the Internet tomorrow to avoid spoilers.

piecemeal people said...

I refuse to watch that trailer, because I have a big Night Out planned with my sister and our cousins to see New Moon on Saturday night.

I have not had a Night Out in many, many months.

As of January, I will have FOUR children.

I NEED this Night Out, Kelly. I need it bad.

And so I will not let that trailer ruin my Night Out. I will just take your word for it.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Snorting!

Sorry hun, but this dude simply cannot act - PERIOD!!! Blech! And he's not hot either. AND he's totally going to hell.

Saw the movie and simply loved it! Now if they could have simply found a Jacob without chicklet teeth....

CLUFF FAMILY said...

Alright, so being team Jacob now, does this mean you want Bella to be with him or just that you like him better because he is "hotter" (get it?) Because for anyone who has read the last book, you HAVE to be for Edward in regards to him being with Bella. Just saying...