Monday, May 10, 2010

Recycling Is Sexy

And I am SO not.








Recycling scares me.





It's very intimidating. It seems everyone these days knows how to recycle and it's the "in" thing to do. Well I've never been one of the "in" crowd and recycling is no exception.


Yes Nana, you were right, I don't know how to recycle. (Which reminds me, I've got like ten bags of magazines with your name on them.)


Let me explain.


I'm not a complete idiot, I know that you can recycle paper and cardboard and crap like that but what confuses me is which items go in which recycling bins? Can I put glass bottles and paper in the same recycling bin? What about pop cans?


The other day I saw a sign left on the recycling bin in the break room at work that said you can't throw paper towels in it.


What? I'm just so confused. And why are some green and some blue? Do the different colors mean something like green is for glass and blue is for paper? Can you recycle plastic bags? What about empty wine bottles? Empty tequila bottles?


Not that I drink tequila or anything like that, I'm just curious.


Ok, here is a little scenario for you:


So I'm in the break room holding my empty frozen meal box and wondering if I can put it in the big blue recycling bin.


This is what my mind does:


"Crap. Someone just walked in, now they're going to see me.


I am so screwed.


If I put it in the recycling bin and it's not supposed to go there, they'll think I'm an idiot. If I throw it in the trash can when it can go in the recycling bin they're going to think I'm an ignorant idiot. They would be correct in both cases but I don't want them to know that!


Maybe if I pretend to be getting a drink I can stall long enough for them to leave. Oh no! They just put something in the microwave for 3 minutes! I have to stall for 3 minutes!"



My heart starts pounding and just as I reach for a cup, the the person decides to leave the room while his food is cooking.


"Oh thank God!" I throw the box in the recycling bin and make a mad dash for the door.





Jeebus I need some Xanax just so I can recycle!


Oh, and what about dirty stuff? Like paper plates with food stuck on it, can you stick that in the recycling bin?


And what the hell is composting? Why would anyone in they're right mind want to keep rotten food?


Is it really this hard to be environmental conscious?


30 comments:

Rebecca Jo said...

I just dont think I'll ever be able to eat a apple again for the rest of my life thinking of that last picture & that man squatting... gagging...

I hate it because I do recycle - but have to DRIVE it down to the local recycle center - no pick up in the country... & the recycle place only has limited areas - so my garage looks like a recycle center until I can get it all down there...

Kristina P. said...

THANK YOU!!! Not only is my not recycling and attempt to destroy the earth, but I don't really understand all the rules.

We were at my grandma's this weekend, and apparently, she has taken up recycling. This is the woman who will save calendars because they will be good again in 7 years.

And stuff I didn't think was recyclable, she would freak out! I think I must have heard the phrase, "We recycle here!" about 15 times. Boo.

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

Phew. I am so glad someone else stresses about all of this. We have blue bins, green bins......so many different bins for different items.

Julia said...

That last "graphic" graphic cracked me up. LOL really.

Um, yer gonna have to stretch some brain cells and just figure all this recycling out now dearie!

I am happy to say that at my house that have one container for EVERYTHING now. I guess they just sort it all at the dump. It's about time.

And just remember rules are meant to be broken sometimes.

Aunt of 14 said...

oh gosh, those ARE confusing!!! I only know how to recycle at home. The gray bin is for the things like banana peels, orange rinds, wrappings, paper towels, whatever fits in the kitchen trash. The blue bin is for boxes of ANY kind. Frozen dinner boxes... soda boxes... sanitary napkin boxes, anything paperyboxed. And the green bin is for when you clean up the yard and mow the grass. Thats how I do it and nobody has complained!

Yet.
There IS a sign on my blue bin that says containers with leftover food is now accepted in the blue bin. Okay, nice to know.

Jen said...

Apparently so. I totally don't get it either.

Pricilla said...

In NJ it was mandatory and if you didn't put stuff out for a while you got a note from the town. If you still didn't put stuff out you got fined.

Here in MOntana it's all eh.

Composting makes wonderful fertilizer for the garden. Mix up the vegetable matter with lots of goat poop and WATCH that garden grow!

Aleta said...

I'm actually glad that I'm not the ONLY one confused by all the bins of where and what to put in it. People can have strong opinions about it too!! So, I understand the anxiety :)

Oh, and the man taking a poo... yeah, REAL sexy. *gag*

Mandy said...

I am thankful that our city provides blue bags for all recycling. Someone else does the sorting. Whew.

Frau said...

You are too funny! Here in Germany they are recycling Nazi's. We have to separate our paper,plastic, biodegradable, glass....in the beginning we were not doing it right and they cut open all of our garbage bags and threw our garbage all over the driveway..talk about sending a message! Now I'm the master! Except were do toothpicks fall under life's greatest mystery.

AmyLK said...

We are fortunate, all we do it separate out paper, plastic, glass and cardboard into one bin and the trash people come and pick it up. No sorting, no carting to the dump, nothing! Sorry.

Brian Miller said...

teehee...i do know what you are saying. we have a recycle center with big signs that makes it easy on me...

Suzi said...

It isn't too difficult. I had to learn the hard way.....our trash guy would pull out some items and put it back into they bins after he dumped them. Now all the recycling goes in one bin instead of 2 different ones.

I tend to have 3 separate garbage cans.....one for glass, one for aluminum, and one for plastic and then I take them to a recycle center and get money back for it all.

Debbi said...

hahah, love that last pic!! lol

I loved living in cowtown, because they let you put EVERYTHING into one giant bin (blue) and THEY sorted it. They left us with a PICTURE brochure with what could go in the big bin, and what could not. LOVED it. No sorting, no questions.

I do NOT recycle in Motown. grr. too annoying. And who wants dirty, stinky recycling crap in a bucket in their house waiting to be taken into the sorting place? NOT ME.

Sara said...

To add to the confusion there are different types of plastic and some plastics shouldn't go in the plastic recycling bin. GAH! As an environmentalist, I wish I could say I totally get it, but I'm like you and have anxiety about it. Paper I get. It's pretty straight forward and I am "in-charge" of the paper recycling program at my work. All that means is I call a field service guy and say "Hey, come get these bins and take them to the recycling dumpster."

Dari said...

I am with you, I try to do my part but it is confusing. At work we only have copy paper and can recycling bins. At home it is even worse, our city doesn't have recycling can that they empty, you have to drive your trash to the place in town that has recycling bins. So by the time you figure out what you can recycle, sort it, bag it and drive it to the effing place, it really isn't worth it to me. I promise I love the planet and do other "green" things :)

Justine said...

I'm going to go ahead and assume this whole post was a farce and you're not REALLY that stupid. On the other hand, if you ARE, you can go to your local waste management company's web site to see what exactly they accept.
Mine just started taking "soft" cardboard, meaning cereal boxes and such. We only do #'s 1, 2 and 7 on plastic. All glass is acceptable. Oh, and even if something is a number 1,2, or 7, you still don't recycle the lids. Don't ask me why the fuck that is, but it is what it is.

Now I bet you're really confused.

Heeheehee. My job is done.

Justine :o )

blueviolet said...

Michigan makes it easy. They slap a 10 cent deposit on bottles and cans and you just take them back to the store to get your deposit back. Beyond that, I'm clueless as well.

Closer to Lucy said...

Just burn some toast that'll take care of the work situation.

Hernandez Family said...

I also had this same problem. Now I look at the item and if it has the little recycle symbol on it I recycle it.

KK said...

I totally agree!

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh. My. Gosh! That ad is SO funny. Totally made my day. Our recycling bin was all filled with water bottles and then I took it out to wait for the trash collector and it knocked over and spread the bottles all over the neighborhood. So now I think I littered and made the world a more terrible place even though my initial goal was to make it better. Darn it!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

My aunt was ragging on me about not having a compost pile.

We have one recycling bin for paper, cans and bottles - so they all go in willy nilly. The paper and cardboard though, hubby likes burning in the burn barrel in the Back 40. It's a 'man thing'. ;)

If someone (me) accidentally puts a can or bottle in the garbage and Princess Nagger sees it, she'll nag about me not saving the earth. :)

Mayhem and Moxie said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Poob. Recycling just kinda sucks ass. Seriously. I was at the airport the other day and stood in front of four different recycling containers. Of these four, I was pretty sure that I did not qualify for a single one.

I ended up just stuffing my trash in the non-recyclable, you are going to hell for not being green container.

I could hardly stand the pressure.

xo
-Francesca

TMI Tara said...

I'm so with you on this subject.... especially you giving piles of mags to Nana. ;)

Jason, as himself said...

Just jump in and do it! (Not the apple kind). You're a smart girl. The Earth needs you.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh man I'm nutty about the recylcing because I was able to switch our garbage pick up to every 2 weeks instead of every week. Thankfully we have one huge bin you throw it all in. I've always recycled the lunch freezer boxes. I could be wrong but darn it, it goes in :)

Megan said...

I have all the same questions as you but really, I just don't want to take the time to recycle. Plus, we don't have the garbage trucks pick up our trash, we take it to the dump so I think it's pointless. Whatev. I'm so NOT "green".

Orr's said...

I thought I was the only one! got forbid they get a paper towell in the paper recycling bin, seriously. Why don't they just have signs with lists that explain everything that can go into them.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

We have a recycle nazi at work too! Love that last recycling picture, I printed it out and hung it on my cube at work lol.