Monday, May 3, 2010

TOAST

I must be out of my mind right now, I can't believe I am actually going to tell this story.


In writing.


On the internet no less.


But it's just too good not to share. So everyone come gather around, it's story time!


Let me give you a little background about my job. As you know, I'm an accountant for a gold mine (yes gold mines still exist and no I don't get free gold). Our office is downtown in an high rise building with 23 floors (this is relevant I promise) and I work on the 18th floor.


When I first started my job, I was the youngest accountant in the office. Actually, I was the youngest employee in the region. I was 23, straight out of college, you know, a rookie.


Well after working there for over a year I was finally coming into my own. You know, making a name for myself and feeling comfortable being the youngest chick in an office where the average employee is male, and about 5 billion years old.


So one day I was in the break room making my breakfast which consisted of toast and well, just toast. I put my toast in the toaster at which point I realize that I had to go potty. Bad. The bathroom is right outside the break room so I made a mad dash to "take care of bidness".


Aw, relief.


It wasn't until I was walking back to the break room that I smelled it.


Burnt toast.


"Dammit!" I think, "Now what am I gonna eat?"


As it turns out, that would be the least of my problems. I open the break room door and am greeted with a nice big puff of smoke.


Oops.


I run to the toaster and throw what was left of my toast in the trash and frantically start waving my hands trying to dissipate the smoke, but my attempts were useless. Yes, if you haven't guessed by now, the fire alarm went off.


Crap.


Everyone starts coming out of their offices and heading to the stairs.


"It's okay!" I try to tell them, "It was just my toast!" But nobody was listening, the alarm overpowered my voice. I didn't quite know what else to do so I just followed everyone to the stairwell and walked the 18 flights of stairs down to the main level and to the small patch of grass outside.


Guess what was waiting for us outside?


The fire trucks. Not just one, but three.


THREE. FIRE. TRUCKS.


And no, I didn't get to stand there and stare at the hot firemen, they were already in the building. If I was really thinking, I would have stayed in the building so I could be carried out in one of the Fireman's arms. Like Mitchell did on Modern family.


Had I known I would be seeing firemen, I would have dressed up a bit like Claire!



(LOVE THAT SHOW!)


But com'on, me? Think? How did I get in this situation in the first place? Yeah, I don't think.


I sat there on the grass with everyone else as the whole entire building was evacuated.


All 23 floors.


Finally we get the signal that we can go back in and they announce that someone burnt toast on the 18th floor. Oh sure, they listen to the fireman when they say it but when I'm screaming it, nobody listens.


Ugh.


So everyone heads back into the building, luckily taking the elevators this time. Slowly the news that I was the idiot who burnt the toast travels around the office and soon I was the topic of conversation for the rest of the day. The pun of jokes for the rest of the year.


The next morning when I showed up to work, I found something on my name tag on the wall outside my door. Written on a sticky note was my new nickname, the name I would be referred to by everyone in the halls, and anyone who came to visit my office:






TOAST





35 comments:

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

I.Am.Dying...{of laughter}

...but I still love you.....

Brian Miller said...

oh my...really these are guffaws of sympathy...smiles.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, man, I am totally laughing at you. hahahahaha!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

ack so embarrassing!! I'm always afraid of doing something stupid at work. So far my bests are:

dropping a full cup of water on the floor in the hallway (on carpet)

&

dropping a plate off the dishdrainer in the breakroom in front of a full crowd of lunch eaters (shattered all over the floor)

Suzi said...

I love story time.

Tara said...

Ok I am peeing my pants right now because the same thing happened at my work to another girl. Except I worked in a building of medical clinics and there was a cancer treatment center on the bottom floor. And when the alarms went off they had to evacuate all these poor people and they just looked miserable because they were so sick and so cold. So this should make you feel better. :) PS the hubs just took his CPA exam on Sunday. I totally didn't know you were an accountant!

Rebecca Jo said...

I love when Pooba says "Story time"... I instantly sit, indian-style, with my chin in my hands, anxious to hear! :)

I totally would have blamed it on someone else... I was in the bathroom! How could I have set the fire?

Modern Family - the most hilarious show on TV right now!

Lauralee said...

I would have been scurred.

Amy said...

At least your new nickname wasn't "FIRED" just sayin!

Kasey Hunt said...

That's a great story! I bet you check the settings on toaster every time before you use it!

Megan said...

LMAO!!! Yeah, I think that would be the epitome of embarrassment.

I, too, love Modern Family. Hilarious!!

OLLIE MCKAY'S ~ A Chic Boutique said...

OMG ~ LOL!!! Thanks for sharing and admitting this hilarious boo-boo ! AND you won't believe it, but last week I was toasting those new flat bread rounds (they are yummy toasted with peanut butter) ~ I pushed the toast button a second time b/c my toaster doesn't brown too much and then I sat back down at the computer and a few seconds later I looked over and there was a small ball of fire going on in my toaster which I saw thru the glass window on front of toast oven!! I madly unplugged the toaster and kept hitting the flames with a wet dishtowel and turned on the stovetop vent and opened the windows. . .scary, but funny! No firetrucks had to come thank goodness! :) And Shhhhh. . .hubby doesn't know and there is NO need for him to ever find out! :) Have a great week!

blueviolet said...

You are dangerous and I've known this for quite some time. This is but small confirmation of that fact. ;)

Jen said...

I just need to say that this has happened at the hospital with burnt popcorn. No we did not evacuate but we did have the FD show up.

St. Jeor Family said...

That is hilarious!!! I am laughing so hard right now!

Pricilla said...

We have done these things....

The publicist once made the coffee. Put the grinds in the filter. Put the filter in the filter holder thingie. Put the water in the big, huge professional coffee maker. Pushed the button and went out to set up her teller station. (It was her first week at work at her new job)

She heard screams from the back room.

She forgot to put the coffee pot on the burner. There was coffee running everywhere.

No firetrucks though....

Kitten said...

Great story! And think about it, your nickname could have been worse: Pop Tart, Eggo, Toaster Strudel, you get the idea.

Miss. Candy said...

I am a firefighter and we got called to God's house! The church was having a concert and the smoke machine caused us to come out and we told them no more smoke machine, so at least you get to keep your toaster! lol!

Julie said...

Just wondering, have you made toast at work since? I'd be switching to cheerio's ;) Too funny!

Marsdinis said...

That's too funny! Reminds me of an Office episode, I think...

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

That's funny! But I'm sure glad it's you and not me. I would have changed my name and gone into the witness protection program.

Blog Buddy said...

I did the very same thing in college-in Idaho, where everyone eats potatoes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was making hash browns- and left to curl my hair in the bathroom...sad case. Now I feel a little better:) Welcome to the club!

KK said...

Now that's funny :) I do love those firemen, but that might not have been the best way to get their attention.

Sara said...

haha! Aw man, that sucks! My old boss was/is a bit of ditz like you and she did stuff like that a lot. I like it. You keep the rest of us duds smiling. :)

Frau said...

heeheeheehee don't you wish you ate cereal bars or something else! What is it about firemen seriously sexy!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it! Thanks for the laugh - I needed that.

Remind me to tell you about my coffee pot incident at work one day. ;)

Karin Katherine said...

This is why I love you! Stories like this. Priceless.

Justine said...

Aw, my poor Toasty chick. You are such a moron. It makes me kinda proud. And now? Not only your coworkers will be calling you toast. Bwaaa haaa haaaa

Justine :o )
Poo on Toast?

Kristin said...

Better than mine. I was Grace because I was such a clumsy arse. Are you still Toast? Ah ha ha

Queenie Jeannie said...

Poor Lil Sis!!!

It could have been worse hun. Much, much worse!! Hugs!

Orr's said...

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS LOL, YOU ROCK

Shmonae said...

Bwahaha! Oh, so. me..except nobody sees the burnt potatoes on my back porch..except Phylis my dog!

Melissa said...

Great story!! lol!!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh man that was priceless!! I hope you put on your good boob shirt and earrings like her ... lol

Closer to Lucy said...

You're a better woman than me. I'd have flushed the toast and kept my mouth shut!