Friday, May 22, 2009

I Left My Handcart At Home

You wanna get some good exersize? Go to Vegas with Dear Albert. I guess I first need to clear up some confusion that I have caused about my hubster's name. I refer to him as many different things:

Mother Effer

Ok, I just threw that last one in there for fun, I actually call him Father Effer, I'm not THAT mean people! So there you have it now you know all those names are referring to the same person. Now back to the Vegas exersize.

Saturday May 16th 2009
The following events take place between 11:00 am and 4:00 pm

1. At the Caesar's Palace Forum shops, Albert buys pants for his sexy booty.

2. Albert buys a drink for his thirsty throat.

3. We catch a cab over to The Coca-Cola Factory

See these two? They are the very proud parents of my husband Al and his brother Brandon. (Clay is their son too but he didn't go Vegas)

Alex and his brother have a very special relationship, they love each other so much. They even have pet names for each other, every time I hear Alex calling Brandon on the phone, I hear "Biiiiiiiiiiiitch!" in a loud high pitched voice. That's how I know he's talking to Brandon. Isn't that the sweetest?

So Brandon thought it'd be hilarious to make his mean older brother drink hairspray. He challenged Al to taste the coke products around the world and if he drank the one that tasted like hairspray, Brandon agreed he'd pay for the tasting.

Most of them weren't bad at all, until Mr. Hairspray showed up.

But he finished it! (With a little help!)

4. Then we moseyed on over to the M&M store. Trying to get the guys to pose for a picture was like pulling teeth! That's why I am so grateful for Cris who posed whenever I demanded it of her. (never mind my death threats)

And of course we had to buy bags of M&Ms from the M&M wall!! My favorite?

Peanut Butter!

I fell in love and totally felt up Mr. Red M&M guy. You see that look on Albert's face? Total jealousy. I pretty much had to separate the two from fighting over me. Geez I hate it when two guys fight over me, talk about embarrassing!

5. After we walked out of the M&M store into the 102 degree Las Vegas weather, Alex realized he didn't have his sunglasses. And of course these aren't just any sunglasses, they are his Versace sunglasses.

When it comes to fashion I think Alex was meant to be a girl and I the boy. I hate shopping and try to find the cheapest crap I can get while Al buys all the name brand nicest shit he can. (Ok, in most instances it's because they are the only clothes that fit him, but still!) The sunglasses I was wearing cost me 10 bucks so I bet his Versace glasses had to be like 15 or 20 bucks at least! :o)

(If you can't tell, Al and I are both trying to grab some booby in the above pic)

So after he said something like "bleeper bleepin sunglasses bleep bleep bleeper!" He had basically given up on ever finding the damn, oops, I mean bleepin sunglasses again. But you know what we did? We walked and walked and walked in the 102 degree weather back to Caesar's Palace Forum Shops. Let's just say we all didn't feel guilty about eating our M&Ms after that.

When we finally made it into the shops we were all drenched in sweat and about 30 pounds lighter, except for cute Sharon, I think she would disappear if she lost 30 pounds! So we went to check the store where Al bought his pants which was like 10 miles away on the other side of the shops.

Those shop hallways remind me of intestines, they are all cramped in there like a little maze and if you could stretch them out they would go on forever! Do you feel sorry for us yet?

So after walking for what it seemed like 5 hours, we reached the shop. Did we find some sunglasses there?


Were they Albert's sunglasses?


Luckily, as an after thought, we checked the little drink stand where Al bought a drink after he bought his pants and guess what? They had his sunglasses.

And all is well with the world once again! See Al? Don't just give up on a $200 pair of sunglasses are you kidding me? You fight for those suckers!

Lesson learned.

But I don't think our feet have quite recovered.


Annie Harper said...

Check me out! I'm the number one commenter.

And I like to refer to him as Alejandro. It just seems to fit him so nicely. Rolls of the tongue.

ANd I think Thursday nights from now on should be dinner and SYTYCD night for us girls, and Halo night for the lame-o's. What ya think? I smell a tradition coming on....

seriously though, I smell it.

angi_b72 said...

Too funny! Great pics, looks like you had a great time!

Kristina P. said...

I totally missed out on going to the M&M store. And grabbing statue's boobies.

Jon and Steph said...

Oh my gosh! No wonder your feet hurt!!!

Debbi said...

HAHAHAHA, I laughed too many times in this post! you're awesome.

And, might I just add, you and Father Effer make an ADORABLE couple! He's got his mom's face on his Dad's head/body. Like a cut and paste!

Mmmmmm Peanut M & Ms. My fave too. Good choice.

Suzi said...

A little bit of hairspray helps keep the doctor's away. Oh, wait, I mean apple.

Looks like you had a great time.

Blogalicious Designs said...

The only lesson I've learned from this is NOT TO BUY $200 SUNGLASSES!!! LOL


Kasey Hunt said...

Wow, what a story!! Looks like you have lots of fun together as a family!!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

So glad you found the sunglasses!

And it's awesome that you can have such a good time with all of his family. Seriously, you couldn't PAY me to go on any sort of vacation with my hubby's effed up parents. Yes, I said that. Yes, they are THAT bad!

Thankfully, it's not the same for my hubby and my parents. I think he married me just so he could claim them as in-laws! And they would trade me in for him any day of the week!

Sara said...

That is a lot of work for sunglasses! Glad he found them. I think I need an M&M apron.

The Wife O Riley said...

Your Coke tasting reminds me of when we went to the Jelly Belly Factory and we made Matt try the vomit flavored one and the earwax flavored one. YUMMY!!

I would have to say for $200 sunglasses, I would do just about anything.

Cris said...

Great pic Kel. Loved our time together even if it was 102 out. M&M's were the key to it all.

Lee said...

You actually went to where my 16th birthday was! We went down to Gameworks, which is connected to the Coke and M&Ms factory.
That M&M ride is interesting. Hahaha.

Hairspray? Really. Yulch.

WhisperingWriter said...

I love your pictures.

I want to go to that Coca Cola factory.

And M&Ms. Mmm. I also am a huge fan of the peanut butter ones. I always have a stash in my cupboards.

Oh, and my sunglasses also were cheap. Though I really can't wear them because I'm nearly blind. I need contacts but I'm freaked out over putting stuff in my eye. I want Lasik but I don't have the extra cash. Plus I'm freaked out that they'll put stuff in my eye.

Rebecca Jo said...

Talk about luck... loosing Versace glasses in Vegas & Finding them? The man should have gone straight to a casino table!!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the M&M Store... & I'd leaving with a grocery sack size of the PB ones... yummo!

Love all the face expressions in the Coke testing... I'd probably gag... Let me stay happy with my Diet Coke!

Tammy Howard said...

That looks like a really good time! Ready to head back with SITS in October?

Nana said...

Looks like you had fun!

I feel so bad you had to walk a couple of blocks poor baby.

Janelle said...

I totally feel your pain! I've done the "we can totally walk the strip" talk before...halfway thru I'm hailing for a cab or looking for that damn monorail!!
Have fun...glad you found father effer's glasses!

Justine said...

Okay, please tell me the Coke place did NOT have soda that tasted like hairspray? That is DISGUSTING! And he drank it all? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

Wow, his parents are hot, huh? Well, so is he! Alex, Al, Albert, Dickhead... whatever you're calling him today!
Justine :o )

Banteringblonde said...

WOW I had no idea that there was an M&M store! Looks like fun!

scrappysue said...

i wanna go to vegas and sweat 30 pounds and lose stuff!!!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I was thinking Vegas sounded pretty good until 102 degrees and steps like intestines...

Glad he found those sunglasses! I'd be pissed if I lost mine that were 5 dollars!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Holy Smokes girlie what an adventure! Vegas sure can make you walk! Hmmm maybe I need to move there ... you say 30 lbs? LOL

My hubs is the same way, what is with all the name brand shit? I go find what is on clearance and still hmmm over if it's worth the money!

Holy Snikes he needs to have one of those classy straps put on those glasses ... LOL

Cairo Typ0 said...

I think your husband's sunglasses are more expensive than my Rx ones! *eek*

Too bad they didn't have samples of original coke to sample. :p Sounds like you guys had a blast. :)

Stesha said...

The next time you take a trip to Vegas call me! You can babysit the kids and I could go in your place.

Mama need a nice Vacay!

Hugs and Mocha,

ChicagoLady said...

After all that walking, you deserved a second bag of m&m's!

They must have redone the Caesar's Palace Forum Shops, because I don't remember them looking like that when I was there years ago.

That red m&m, he was smiling while you felt him up. I think he liked you too.

joanofalltrades said...

I lve reading about your vacations. And I sooo don't feel sory for you...I'm jealous! I've been trying to get to the Coke museum in ATL for 2 years now. Glad Al found his glasses. I think I would have cried if I lost a $200 pair of sunglasses. Then again, would I ever even buy a pair of $200 sunglasses? HELL NO!

Tara said...

The watermelon coke is so so so damn good!!

LadyStyx said...

I'm forever getting the nicest looking pair of cheap shades with the best protection fo rmy peepers because I'm prone to losing them. However, it doesn't stop me from drooling over the awesome ka-chingville ones. Yeah, I have expensive taste.

Mamarazzi said...

i looooooooooove the way you write...i feel like i was there. sounds like a shweaty good time!

St. Jeor Family said...

You were so lucky that you found his glasses! I lost my pair of versace in Willard! It is a hard thing to stomach thats for sure.

nikkicrumpet said...

UGH...I would have bought him a new pair before I would have walked that far....but then I'm fat and out of shape so it would be worth $200. But I have a come all the women in your families are so flippin gorgeous??? Sheeesh you all are like Stepford women with your great bodies and beautiful faces...and come to think about it...the men in your families are pretty hot too....What did you guys do...rob a "hottie store"???

Franco said...


Bee and Rose said...

Statue booby grabbing may become the hot new thing in Vegas, baby!

I hope you brought Mr. Red M&M home with you...he's stinkin' adorable!

Your photos are fantastic!

Debbie said...

Now that is a trip! Love the M&M adventures.

Kathy B! said...

Next time you go I need a week's notice. I am totally snaeking into your carry-on bag.

Wait! Make that two weeks... I'm going to need to lose a couple punds if I'm gonna fit into your bag...

Anonymous said...

You got some great pics!

Megan said...

You guys are quite the adventure seekers! ;0) Glad you found the sunglasses and got lots of M&M's to eat. Mmmm...yummy!