Thursday, May 7, 2009

One of those days. You know, the kind where crap keeps happening and just when you think it's going to get better more crap happens?

So I get a phone call Saturday morning from my best friend DeAnna. Well, it was a text, but none the less it means she is in town! She lives in St. George about 4 hours away from where I live so I NEVER see her. Turns out they are having a birthday party for their youngest, Taylor, at Chuck E. Cheese's in Layton. So of course I get my shiz together so I can go.

So I load up the car with the birthday presents and head up north on a 40 minute drive to my home town, Layton.

(Pronounced Lay'un the 't' is silent ya know)

So I'm about half way there when my car decides to play an evil trick on me. Even though my gas meter shows that I am 3/4 full, I run out of gas.

On the freeway.

Yes. Of course I took pictures, that's what a devoted blogger does in these situations.

So I'm sitting there wondering what to do. There was no way I was going to call the hubster to come save me. He was at home dealing with some electrical problem in our garage which was the reason why he couldn't come with me in the first place. There's no way in hell I was going to spring this one on him too. So I called Lindee.

As I told her my problem and she offered to come get me, I looked over to the side of the free way.

The only thing seperating me from the city of Bountiful was this fence. I could totally take on that fence. So I told Lindee not to come, even though she kept calling and insisting, and I left my car to go on a little journey.

Luckily there was a gas station less then a mile away and was able to buy a gas can to take back to my car. As I walked down the busy street, I realized what a cliche I was. A blonde WOMAN in heels walking down the street with a gas can in hand, I'm sorry to all you women out there, I've just contributed to the bad wrap women drivers get.

I wanted to scream at all the honking cars:

"It was my car's fault! It said I had a 3/4 full tank people!! It tricked me, NOT. MY. FAULT!"

Now climbing the fence on the way back with a gas can in hand was a little tricky. I threw my shoes and purse over the fence into the swampy mush on the other side and started climbing with the gas can in hand. Of course as I'm jumping down the fence, my pants get caught and now I have a nice hole right on the back of my thigh.


But look, after walking through all the swampiness I made it back to my car! Now to get the gas in the car was another problem. That gas can was ridiculous! I followed the instructions but as I poured the gas, about half of it got into the tank and half all over me, the side of my car and the concrete! Mmmmm, gas perfume.

I'm muddy, stinky, wet and tired but hey, the car starts! And I'm on my way.


So now for the happy part of the story. The birthday party. Little Taylor turned ONE! Look how adorable this little girl is:

And that's my best friend! Isn't she gorgeous! We've been best friends for over 14 years!

She has 3 adorable kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. Yeah, I think she's winning, she got a head start on the whole baby making thing.

DeAnna - 3

Kelly - 0

Here's a pic of her beautiful boys:

Isn't her family beautiful? Here's a little older pic:

(Sorry De, just had to steal these from you!)

I seriously need to do like a whole week of posts on DeAnna and our crazy times together so I'll save that for another time. The party was mad crazy, look at her huge family, she has 4 sisters and no brothers:

Tay and her birthday cake mustache:

Lindee and Logan were able to come too, it was a lot of fun getting Logan and DeAnna's boy Jordan together, they are the same age.

Thanks De for inviting us, it was so great to see you and your family and I already miss you!

Now I hadn't been to Chuck E. Cheeze's since I was like 6 and I remembered it as such a wonderful magical place. Ya know, where a kid can be a kid right? Well, it wasn't quite what I remembered.

It's a freakin kid zoo in there! I could actually see the germs floating through the air, and I have to tell you there are MEAN kids there!

My poor little nephew got in the way of this kid's skeeball game so the punk decided to kick Logan repeatedly in the stomach! Logan didn't know what to do so he just covered his head as the bully continued kicking him. Lindee was able to save him and was so pissed at that punk ass kid! She came and told me about it and we both wanted to cry! Who could kick this cute little boy? Aren't your eyes filling with tears right now just thinking about it? Mine too.

Lindee was seriously like the mama bear protecting her cub. I'm pretty sure she was gonna kick that little kid's ass to China but lucky for him, we never saw him again.

Which is probably a good thing considering he was like 7 and we are well, older than that, and we could probably do some real damage to that mother effer.

Yes, I am that angry. At a 7 year old.

Nobody messes with my Logan.


Amanda Hopper said...

OMG! I'm laughing at your running out of gas story and the picturews to go along with it! You are definitely one devoted blogger!!! One day I swear it is going to happen to me. I NEVER, repeat NEVER, fill my car up until my gas light comes on. Even when it does come on, I still don't get gas immediately. So, it will happen to me....and my gas gauge even works!!!!

I am glad you were able to make it to the b-day party!

Rebecca Jo said...

yep... you are a true, 100% devoted blogger... that you run out of fuel & the first thing you do - WHERE'S THE CAMERA!!! Love it!

The kids were probably all hyper at Chuck E Cheese cause of the fumes of gasoline coming from your pants... that's one smell that sticks! I personally am one of those freaks that like the smell of gas! .... dont judge :o)

Love icing moustaches... I think I need one myself.. it just wont be as cute!

And I'd love to see any kid mess with that boy Logan... between you & your sisters... yeah.. I see pictures of a black & blue eyed kid popping up next on the blog!

Amy said...

What a woman you are to climb that fence. Sure, I may have done it but not until after I shed a few tears...or three!

As for the little muther effer, I would definitely want to be kicking his butt, or his muther effin moms.

Michelle said...

Just wait until you have your own kids to watch over. You probably will punch a 7-year old in the face.

Michelle said...

Oh yeah, and the gas thing... happens to me all the time! My car plays that nasty trick, too, at 1/4 tank. Bitch!

Anonymous said...

I never would have gotten over the fence but I will help you kick his ass. Little sh...

andy said...

i would've waited until no parents were looking and tripped the kid as he ran up the tube slide.

or accidentally bopped a ball from the pit off his face.

not that i've ever been there, done that.

nice pedi, btw.


Call Me Cate said...

You know, I've seen it said but never quite got it until now - this post would've been worthless without pics. Good for you, braving the wilderness to find gas. And then braving the wilderness of children for the party!

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

Love you and your cute friend! Bestesses are well, the bestesses! Way to blonde it up on the freeway... you've got everyone else fooled but I'm not buying the whole 3/4 of the way full! Hehe.

I'm so sad you didn't find that evil seven year old, I wanted to see pictures of your sis handing it to him, then pictures of his lovely family, (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree) and the showdown between mother bears. Oh now I'm just getting greedy!

Jon and Steph said...

Dude that just sucks! I cannot believe you ran out of gas, had to climb over a fence and trek one mile through swampy earth to get gas only to spill it every where. OH MY! So glad you were able to make it to that party, your friends family is precious!

And I would have wanted to beat up that kid too that hurt your precious Logan! Sweet boy ;)

Kristina P. said...

I love that you documented that.

And my birthday is next week, and I sort of want to go to Chuck E Cheese.

Tiffany @ Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I've run out of gas twice in my life, but never because the car was playing tricks on me. I just kept putting it off and putting it off until I ran out of gas. The first time it happened, I literally ran out as I was turning into the gas station. I only had to get out of the car and push it about 20 feet and then I was able to pump! The second time, I was like you, stranded about a mile away from the gas station. I did the same thing... walked, bought the gas tank, walked back... then our story changes... this really sweet old man and his little old lady wife stopped and offered me a ride back to my car on the side of the road. And then he put the gas in my car for me!
So sweet!
I'm with you and Lindee... I so would have been ready to punch that little punk's teeth in!

Rocksee said...

I hate cars. Period.

But everyone looks like it was a great time!!

WhisperingWriter said...

I love that you took pictures of everything. I do the same and my husband thinks I'm nuts. He's all, "Why do you have to take a picture of our dinner?" I need to show him your blog so he sees that other people take random pictures too.

I'm glad you were able to get some gas! Dang lying car. I'd be ticked if my car did that to me.

Cute pictures :) Your best friend has adorable kids.

Tammy Howard said...

I don't necessary turn for the camera, but I do start mentally blogging when something like that happens. Lemonade out of lemons and such...

Nice that the whole story ended so happily with time spent with your friend and the little ones.

heathersister said...

Yup, I peed my pants. Just the thought of how you looked climbing that fence and taking pictures of yourself with a gas can. OMG.

Chuck E Cheese is a germ fest. Everytime I would take my kids there, they would get sick. And the punks, oh, they are everywere in that place. You should have kicked you some 7 year old ass!! or at least stole his tickets and ran.

Suzi said...

I think your motto ought to be "Have camera, will travel just so I can blog." You are very devoted. Love it, keeps me entertained.

As far as giving women drivers a bad wrap, yes. But even more so, you continue the legacy for "Blonde Women". Another story to add to Blonde jokes. Thanks for the laugh.

Glad you made it to the party and had a good time.


Aww Kel- I am so sorry you went through so much CRAP to come to the party. That is y you are my B2F2S (is that right?) Anyway, you are the best. I feel bad that I couldnt be with YOU more and talk and hang out. I felt so bad for Logan too, poor kid. he was tough though! EWW on all the pics of me , but what can ya do- if ya aint got it? We cant all be as pretty as you Kel! hugs and kisses!


Forgot to mention. I looove Logans tongue. too cute!

the ungourmet said...

Oh my gosh! What a day you had! I bet you were one Pooped Pooba by the time you made it home.

I am too scared to take my kids there! It stinks when bigger kids ruin the fun!

Lee said...

This has to be said. Her husband is a hunk! She's lucky!

Now, I'm sorry that your car screwed you over. I hate when things like that happen.
Plus the ripped pants.
But the party looks like fun!

Ms. Wanda said...

What a great post I'm still laughing!!! What a day you had, I'm not sure which was worse the running out of gas or Chucky's!!! Have a great Fab Friday:)

Ms. Wanda

Kathy B! said...

Chuck E Cheese is the seventh circle of hell. Don't ever go there!!

As for the rest of the insanity... it's the f**k-up fairies I posted about yesterday. I'm sure of it.

Valerie said...

You don't have to kick a 7 year old's behind. All you have to do is find an older kid than him and pay him to do it for you!!

I can't believe you climbed that fence. I know it was funny then but it had me cracking up.

Melissa said...

You are better than me, because I would have sat in my car until someone got me some gas!!

But that was pretty cool what you did!

BeeHappy said...

Running out of gas story was funny! I love the photos! Excellent work. I gave you an award on my blog - go check it out! Oh and I'm doing another photo week next week. You should join in. :)

LeNesha said...

I am seriously ROFLMAO. I absolutely love your dedication to blogging even during this trying

LadyStyx said...

*chuckles* Time to get the gauge on the tank looked at ;)

Julia said...

You get great credit for woman kind for getting your own fuel. Putting it into your car is another matter allllllll together.

I have been to the evil pizza establishment you refer to ONCE. ONLY ONCE. I truly vow to avoid it like the viral scourge it is.

John and Rachael Alexander said...

Wow, you have the craziest adventures and I love that you blog about all of them. I haven't been to Chuck E Cheese since I was a kid either and that made me not want to ever go there with my kids.. .haha jk. poor logan

peewee said...

I loved the image of you and your heels and your gas can AND your camera....THAT is the part that cracked me up!

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

Well, it turned out to be a fun day after all, eh? You neglected to tell us how your friends felt about your aroma!! This was a hilarious story!! Love all of the visual aids!

Donnetta said...

The ONLY thing good about Chuck E Cheese is they serve BEER! Never discount the beer!

I would have wanted to kick his mean 7 year old butt too!!! Or at least find his Momma and kick HER butt!!

Poor Logan!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

You know what I love about this post, Poob? Your dedication to getting to that party...even if it means dragging your swampy and gas soaked pants to it. You don't mess around. I love it.

If this had happened to me, I would have called AAA and threw in the towel. I aspire to your greatness.

-Your FranFran

PS: Love that you are thinking about joining our little carnival. Thanks, Pooba! Why don't you show us some of the creations that you make in the kitchen while wearing one of your fabulous aprons?

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I swear to you I started tearing up as soon as you said his stomach! And was protecting his head... poor little guy! Now I want to scrap with that punk! Uck!

I remember it being magical, too... but now it just feels like a petry dish where half the parents hide out in the corners while most of the kids go around asking strangers for tokens. I swear if somebody hurt my kid, I'd have dragged his ass over to his mother/father/person and that adult would be VERY afraid. (I say this, when in reality I'd be too shocked and busy helping my kid to even think straight). I'm so sorry for him. :(

At least you smelled nice, though. And were clean.

Debbie said...

My first thought was, "Why did she do all that to go to Chuck E Cheese?" I'm not a fan of that place.
But, your friend and her family are gorgeous and it looks like a blast.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I am humbled in your presence - climbing that fence and trekking through soggy marshland in heels...that's dedication to go to the scary place that is Chuck E. Cheese... ;)

Your friend and her family are gorgeous! I did tear up reading about Logan getting kicked in the stomach by a little punk ass kid...ugh!!

Staci said...

ooo who who i would have kicked that lil terds moms ass, because its soo her fault for letting her lil crap face act like that!! And i have a special place in my heart for boys named logan, since mine lil man is logan. sorry ive been mia....missed reading your blog....*tear ;)

The Stucki's said...

What a story...what a great friend! Hey, as far as the reunion goes we don't really know anything about it!? We are going to be in Utah for most of the summer. We'll see what Spencer is up for (sometimes he's just not that social :) I would love to see you though!

Megan said...

OMGOSH! That totally sucks that you ran out of gas and had to huff it to the gas station and back. In heels. Love that you took pics of it all, though! So question...did you stop somewhere and buy a new pair of jeans or did you go to the party smelling like gasoline?

Looks like the party was fun for the most part. I can't believe some stupid kid was beating up on little Logan! Poor little dude!

ChicagoLady said...

This is what I love about your blog. I never know what to expect from you! No decent 7 yr old should be beating up Logan, he's just too cute! I think you should have hunted him down and stuffed him inside one of the games. Seriously. Then Logan could have stuck his tongue out and made moose ears with his hands at him.

Did anyone notice your new perfume when you showed up at the party?