Thursday, October 29, 2009

What Happened To Real Life?

I wanna be a real adult in a real-life neighborhood with real-life friends.


Like the adults in Desperate Housewives. They have neighborhood parties, they chat with each other while getting their mail, the women gossip over wine in the evenings while their husbands put the kids to bed. They have neighbors who try to kill other neighbors, neighbors with dirty secrets and best of all, every single person in the neighborhood is beautiful. You know what I'm talking about, real adult life!


I want that.


I want to be that party hostess who throws the best Halloween party that everyone looks forward to every year. Just like Bree, I SO want to be Bree.




Not the new Bree that robs her own house so that she can divorce her husband without losing half of her belongings and not the Bree who cheats on her husband with her best friend's ex at a dirty motel.


No, I'm talking about the old alcoholic, anal retentive Bree. Can you imagine what her Halloween parties would be like? Amazing!


Every year when Halloween comes around I get this yearning to dress up. I love Halloween so much I have to refrain myself from kidnapping a child just so I can take him trick or treating. I have a feeling if a 5'10 & 1/2" ghost showed up on someone's porch yelling "trick or treat!" that it would not last 10 seconds before getting punched in the white face.


I just can't take that risk.


And every year I get this craving to host a Halloween party, with extravagant spooky decorations, wine and cocktails, and yes, FINGER FOODS! But then every year I realize that I am missing the main ingredient for a killer Halloween party.




People.


You need people to show up in order for the party to be a success. People who are willing to dress up, people who are willing to let loose, people who don't mind a little spiked cider, people who are willing to put up with my husband.


There are no such people in Utah. Where's the real adult life? Does it even exist?


Are you a real adult in a real-life neighborhood with real-life friends that like to have real adult Halloween parties?


Can I come?


This spooky shit was brought to you by prompt #1 of this weeks writer's workshop.


45 comments:

WhisperingWriter said...

Heck no, I'm none of that.

There are no parties around here.

And I wouldn't have the patience to throw one.

Amanda Hopper said...

Real people live in Texas!!!!!!! Come to Texas!!! :) : ) My neighborhood is nothing like that either, but that's b/c we have a bunch of fuddy duds that live on our street. We are the youngins.

Kristina P. said...

You can come! I'm going to a real live Halloween party.

Cairo Typ0 said...

I'm going to halloween party tomorrow night - dressing up mandatory! I was going to beg off but i'll go now on your behalf. :p

Princess Andy said...

sorry, no adults in these parts.

just a bunch o' newfies and a blonde chick standing around drinking beer and wine in the garage most nights.

it is totally kick ass.

and you are ALWAYS welcome:)

andrea

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

If you find that cool 'real adult' neighborhood, let me know. I'll join you. :)

Sheryl said...

Hey, let's have a blogging/cyber Halloween party. We can send pictures of what we would dress up in and what food we would bring to the party..etc...everyone's invited :)

Heather said...

Amanda is right - real people live in Texas!

We are having a real life, adult party at my friend Jojo's . Hubs and I are going as Bets & Don Draper (Mad Men).

Come join us! :)

Shandal said...

I'd LOVE to have a real life too! There's so many bloggers that live in Texas that sound like they'd make some awesome company! I'm very tempted to move there!

blueviolet said...

People are having Halloween parties. You're just not invited. That's all.

(Totally kidding!)

Suzi said...

If you find a real life neighborhood, with a real life Halloween Party, with real life friends....can I come?

Justine said...

Okay, I definitely live in that kinda neighborhood, but no one has to host the halloween party, because our neighborhood association does it. We just have to show up. WE being an operative word, because I don't go. I hate halloween. Don't ask me why 'cause I dunno.

You don't think friends from work and such would go to a party if you had it???

Justine :o )

Courtney said...

If I lived in Utah I'd come to your Halloween party! Then you could come to Kansas and attend my 30th birthday party! It would be so much fun!

Yaya said...

Haha! I love your "dream world". Let's have all us bloggers force our husbands to let us all move into the same neighborhood and we can totally do this!

Rebecca Jo said...

I'm lucky... we have a bunch of church friends who are celebrating with a Halloween party! love that we're "church" people & we're still about dressing up! Our pastor & his wife are so excisted... he's coming as a physiatrist & his wife is a CRAZY person in a straight jacket... do we have a great church or what!

Oh My Goddess said...

I pretty much live in Stepford. Otherwise known as Connecticut.

But, I did give a great Halloween Party last weekend. I was Paula Deen. My daughter was the ghost bride. It was really fun.

Next year, I hope you can make it!

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

Girl! Make friends with pilots from the base! There's always a Halloween party wherever we've been, with pub crawls, people dressed up, letting loose and having fun. It's a happenin' crowd. :D

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

I used to love Halloween parties as a teen but really never went to once since I became an adult, sad to say. I don't want to grow up!!!!

I like Yaya's idea! Wouldn't that be fun??

Kitten said...

I'm tres lucky. I've got a couple of friends who host Halloween parties for us adults. Just a bunch of people gathered together in tres ridiculous costumes and free-flowing booze. And one of them even has a "Jukebox from Hell" with the cheesiest, most ridiculous pop songs ever. I just love these traditions. It's a rockin' good time.

Come move to CT, Pooba. Or better yet, let's take up Yaya's idea and form a blog commune!

Jen said...

I have some of the same yearnings. They don't even trick or treat on our street. We have to take the kids else where. It really sucks. What were happened to being a neighbor?

otin said...

I understand exactly what you mean! When I was young, my parents always had friends over and we always went to the neighbors houses.

I have lived in my house here for 5 years and have never met my neighbor!

Lee said...

I've always wanted to go to a Halloween party. I freaking LOVE dressing up.

Pricilla said...

Uhm, the closest around me are goats, horses and now cows.

*sigh*

KK said...

None here either, but if you had a party, I'd dress up and come over!

Hit 40 said...

We are always talking about throwing a party...just don't get around to it. Plus, I get very annoyed when I try to throw a party that folks seem to think they are doing you a favor showing up for free food and drinks?? How is this a favor to me??

I did enjoy the trick or treating tonight. The kids loved our decorations.

Margaret aka: Fact Woman said...

You need to come to Colorado! We have a neighbor who sets up a haunted barn party that is a blast. You have to bring canned goods for the local food bank to get in but it is all real adults and a ton of fun. Come anytime.

Julia said...

Lady, If you threw this kind of party, I'd tie my kids up and throw away the keys just to be able to go.

Ok maybe not the tie them up but lock them in their room. ;)

Chief said...

Are you serious? You totally need to move out of this state. Or once again, move next to me...the house is still available

Alexis AKA MOM said...

I have the best dreams of these big fancy parties and then I wake up to a kid jumping on the bed and it's back to reality!

Oh one day I'm going to do it, I may have to pay the neighbors and friends to come but man I'm there! LOL

My neighborhood was a run to the mail box and run in before I see anyone ... LOL

Alexis AKA MOM said...

P.S. YOU ROCK!!!!! Thank you so much for putting up my giveaways on the sidebar, I appreciate that so much! You are good people (like my grammie use to say) :)

Maki said...

Nope, but you can take my kids to trick or treating. :)

Frau said...

I think that is the hardest part of living in Utah if you are in the minority and like to drink. We started a dinner group with some people we knew and other invited people it was a great way to get to know people and entertain. Lived in our neighborhood in Holladay for 7 years and only knew 4 neighbors! Have a happy halloween!

Aleta said...

I'm with you!!! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a Halloween party!!! I think they are hilariously funny. From the decorations to the outfits to the food - you can be SO creative with EVERYTHING!!!

Mayhem and Moxie said...

My friend,

You know that you have a standing invitation to absolutely any party I throw.

I am throwing a Halloween party.

My parties kick ass.

They would definitely be a lot better, though, if you and Al were there.

Or not.

Hmmm....maybe we don't need Al...

Hernandez Family said...

I've always wanted to have a fun Halloween party too! You should have a party I would come. You can come trick or treating to my house I will give you candy!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I used to be cool and then we moved here. So Utah and Augusta suck. Got it.

Italy is looking more and more promising though!!!!! Then you can come over and say "Ciao Bella!"

Jessica Nunemaker said...

Ha ha ha! I don't follow Desperate Housewives but I *do* understand the whole Halloween party desire!

How fun would that be!

P.S. You can take my 4 year old trick or treating anytime...as long as you take the not quite 7 week old too! ;)

LadyStyx said...

No one but us kids over here.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Oh my gosh Pooba. Yes of course there are people like that in Utah and they live less than 5 miles away from you (hint, hint!).

Honestly, I was bored to death last night and I would have been on your doorstep with a bottle of wine and a costume in 5 minutes. I would have even brought you a kid to go shill candy for you - I have the strangest kids, they LOVE to get dressed up and go do the Trick or Treating, but they could care less about the candy. Ideal situation for Moms who love candy. Next time, put the word out a little sooner.

PS: I see you've found MamaKat. Did I mention that I actually got to meet her in Vegas 2 weeks ago? She's fabulous and very TALL. You'd love her.

Kristin said...

I'm right there with you. Our neighborhood is snoozeville. No neighbor to neighbor camaraderie. And no fabulous soirees. Sigh. Next house I'll be thoroughly researching the neighbors. Ah ha

Marissa said...

**sigh** Tell me about it! For some reason the 20-30 somethings out here feel that the only way to get together is with a keg of beer and about 10 pounds worth of...eh hem...hemp ;o) Whatever happened to a cool, chill dinner party where someone brings an amazing pie or something and we sit down like actual adults?!?!? If I lived in your neighborhood I'd help you make it more like real like!!

Frogs in my formula said...

To answer your first question, no. To answer your second, yes, please do!

Megan said...

We only have one neighbor that we talk to on a semi-regular basis. I wish we had what you described too. But I'm not a huge fan of Halloween and I avoid dressing up. If we actually had a party to go to, that might change my mind though.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

It would be nice to have neighborhood friends, I'd love it but don't know how to do it. It's much easier to make online friends by just visiting and commenting on blogs.

We do have some real-life friends at church but that's about it.

Jason, as himself said...

Oh yes, I like the old Bree better, too. She's really come undone, that Bree.