Thursday, October 16, 2008

"Don't Mistake My Anal Retentiveness For Actual Affection"

I'm trying to channel my Bree Van de Kamp inner self.

Have you seen this woman? She is seriously my inspiration.

I want to be Bree.

I want to be able to keep my house spotless, while baking delectable desserts, while planning the neighborhood social, while alphabetizing my cook books while wearing my cutsie apron,
while my hair is in perfect condition and my makeup impeccable, while setting the table for tonight's dinner party, while wearing my housewife dress and heals, while wearing my ever so perfect set of pearls, while folding the world's best smelling laundry, while dating my pharmacist who killed my first husband, while pretending to be pregnant to hide my daughter's fornication, while my murderous second husband goes to jail, while...

Okay maybe not those last few items...

But I want to do it all with a smile on my face just like Bree.

I love this apron she wears and I want one soooo bad! I only wish I could stay at home all day and make my house into the most clean, organized, sparkly, fabulously engaging humble home ever!

I want to throw dinner parties and serve more than one course. I want to have my friends over for a cup of tea and civilized conversation and dirty gossip!

I want to bake the most fabulous cakes and run the biggest fund raisers and grow the biggest, brightest flowers in my garden.

I want to quilt and sew and plan my dinner menus a month in advance.

I want to clip coupons and decorate for holidays and keep my mail off my counter.

I want to take muffins to my neighbors in plaid picnic napkin lined baskets.

You can call me obsessed, you can call me a freak but only if you can admit that it'd be great to be Bree! I will leave you now with some great Bree quotes:

Bree: My daughter is planning on giving you her virginity and I'd consider it a personal favor if you wouldn't take it.

Rex: You're using the good china, freshly pressed napkins, flowers from the garden. This tray was prepared with loving care.
Bree: Do me a favor, Rex. Please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection.

Rex: I can't believe you tried to kill me.
Bree: Yes, well, I feel badly about that.


Amy said...

I love that last quote!

She is Superwoman! Too bad her perfectness is glamorized and Hollywood perfect!

Oh, I just remembered, we were on the set of Desperate Housewives last year! It was awesome!

Weeksie50 said...

I love love love Bree too.
I have a couple of her quotes made into magnets on my fridge.. yeah, cause I am a dork like that..

Weeksie50 said...

Whoo Hoo! You won! Are you ready to pay it forward..

Mrs. S said...

I don't watch this show regularly but I have seen a few episodes. Bree's my favorite (I think it's her red hair).

Congrats on winning over at Becky's

Orr's said...

OMG your a nerd lol. Just so everyone knows. Kelly's house is always clean, she has a house organize book, she has a label maker and makes dinner. As well as pumpkin cake. Her house is decorated for fall and is completely remodled with hardwood floors carpet paint the works. She has time to do all that and work 40+ hours a week as some accoutant thing! I'm going to call you bree jr. Oh and I believe you have tried to kill Alex once so your becoming more and more like her everyday.

Jennifer Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer Lee said...

Kelly! I'm so happy you found me through De's blog! How are you? You look great! =) I'm adding you to my friends list and am excited to read up on how you are doing!

Jennifer Lee said...

ps. what's your last name now?

Elaine said...

hey hey! I saw your blog through farrah mom and wife of 3... anyways are those necklaces and bracelts from Premier Design?

Also I make aprons!! I was wondering if you would interested in me making one like Bree's for you?! I could gather the est. price and let you know if interested?

Jade, Will and Illy said...

Hey there!
I love Bree. She's awesome. I saw that you said you wanted an apron, and Vixen at makes them! So I figured I would pass that along to you- her shop is called ApronFrenzy and it's on Etsy- the ones she makes look a lot like the one you have posted above, so if you get a chance, you should check them out :D Have a great day!