Friday, May 14, 2010

Auto Desecration

Driving home from work yesterday I took an alternate route to stop at Petsmart. I was sitting at a light downtown right next to some car dealership when in the corner of my eye I see something running toward me.


I look to my right, outside the passenger side window, and see this big smiling face and hands motioning me to roll down my window.


Scared the shit out of me.


After the initial shock wore off, I rolled down the passenger side window just a little bit to hear what the guy had to say. He was young, clean cut and nicely dressed so I assumed he worked at the car dealership across the street.


"Hi! I would LOVE to buy your car!" He said enthusiastically.


*blink blink*


I just sat there and looked at him for a couple seconds and said,


"Ok....?"


"How long have you had it?" He asked.


"About three years." I replied


"Yep, it's probably time for you to upgrade." He said this as he looked my car up and down like he was checking out a chick. He was undressing my car with his eyes!I'm surprised he didn't start humping it right then and there.


My car felt violated.


I notice the cars in front of me started moving and I realize the light had turned green. That didn't matter to this guy, he still stood there hanging over my window.


"What's your name?"


"Grand Pooba" I said quickly as I slowly started inching my car forward noticing the long line of cars stuck behind me.


He didn't budge.


"Nice to meet you Grand Pooba, my name is Rick, here's my card, give me a call!" And with that he reached in the window to hand me his card while the car was still inching forward.


He about lost his arm after I grabbed the card and took off!


I looked in my rear view mirror and saw that he was now stuck. This dude was in the middle of the road with cars whizzing by on both sides of him. I turned the corner so I'll never know if he made it back to the safety of his precious car dealership.


For all I know, some impatient driver decided to teach him a lesson and introduced him to the pavement.


Sheesh. I didn't realize the economy was that bad.


My car hasn't been the same since.





Poor baby.

28 comments:

Leslie said...

Desperate times require desperate measures...

There's only one thing to do.

Get your car into therapy.

Kristina P. said...

Wow. Your car may want to get some counseling.

Jen said...

That is a little too weird.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Well holy crap talk about doing anything for a sale/buy! I think he needs a lesson for you can get more with honey then vinegar :)

Megan said...

Wow, I've never heard of a salesman going to those lengths to sell a car. I don't fault your car for feeling violated. I would too!

brokenteepee said...

Well maybe you need to take it to the car wash now but be sure to preserve any DNA evidence...heh

Margaret said...

Wow that is crazy. I wouldn't have rolled down my window that is for sure!

Formerly known as Frau said...

In broad daylight....I would have panic that it was a car jacking but your in Utah and that is rare. Nice ride!

Stacy Uncorked said...

Oh MAN! JAM totally stole my comment. Totally.

Now I'm desperate. :)

AiringMyLaundry said...

That is just insane!

I'd have been all, "Sir, you're scaring me and my car."

Closer to Lucy said...

OMG! If that isn't a reason to go home a drink a glass (or a bottle, even two) of vino!

I'm sure that when you take your car in for the therapy that JAM suggest, you'll both be put on meds.

The Green Family said...

That is a little random. He's lucky he doesn't get shot doing that...not that I keep a gun in my car but I might now Ü

Jason, as himself said...

You're lucky you didn't get kilt.

Brian Miller said...

lol.

so how much was he offering? smiles.

Kasey said...

if he's that aggresive with cars, I can only imagine how aggresive he is with women!!

Eve said...

Hahaha... wow, that's nervy! :)
I bet he sells a lot of cars just through the curiosity of those he approaches.

Queenie Jeannie said...

OK, that is just creepy hun!! NEXT TIME, do not roll down your window and keep your doors locked!! There are nutzos out there!!!!

Hugs her silly lil sis tight because she's TOOOOO trusting!!

Liz Mays said...

He must have some bills that are late!

Kimmy @ kimmythingy said...

Wow! Mad man.
Not that your car isn't cute, I wouldn't want to offend it after all it has been through, but SERIOUSLY...that is one crazy sales tactic

:-)

Unknown said...

roflmbo.. I would have blown my top at him.. how crazy was that..seriously I would notify the lot owner of his antics that was not safe for him or you..

LCO's said...

Yeah... he was definatly trying to buy the hot blonde behind the wheel. Seriously is the economy that bad! To sell a care now days you must risk your life and your dignity. What is the world coming to. People are going to start throwing puppies into the road and you'll feel so bad for almost hitting them that you buy one. That that bad of a concept really i guess.

Debbie said...

Now that is one odd story! I'm in the car market myself but I haven't chased anyone down...yet.

Julia said...

I hope you don't have to spend a fortune on counseling now. I'm guessing that if a man started picking up on my three year old I'd have to swamp him one. Or two or three. :)

Claremont First Ward said...

Wow.

That's a new sales tactic, isn't it?

Dolly said...

Thats crazy! Someone left a note on my van window asking to buy my car. Now, after reading your post-I feel super glad that I threw the paper away! Some real nuts out there:/

Synergy Girl said...

Okay, that is the most random, desperate thing I have heard!!! What a doofas!!!

Unknown said...

I guess he needed to make his quota for the month. WOW, poor car!

AdriansCrazyLife said...

Wow, how freaky is that? Ambush marketing from car dealers. You expect that at the mall, but not on the street. That would have scared the peewah about of me too! I'd use his card to report him to the dealership.