Pooba's My Porn Star Name

I work in downtown Salt Lake.

Before the whole demolition, er....I mean...."Downtown Rising" thing started, I would head over to the malls for my lunch break. Now, sadly, there are just huge holes where the malls once were....but that's a 'hole' different story. (Sorry, bad pun!) On many occasions I would be confronted by a homeless person (or a person pretending to be a homeless person) asking for change. I usually would just give them spare change if I had any, although one time I did give a bag of candy to a man with no teeth, I don't care what you think, I know HE appreciated it!



Oh, and another time after I gave a man a handful of pennies, he tried to give me his coat because I wasn't wearing one. Of course I declined. Not because it smelled of urine and was covered in dirt, sweat, and had 3 visible holes in it, but because I knew he needed it more than me.


I'm a very compassionate person you know.


So these little confrontations became a part of my daily routine, but one such occasion comes to mind that I will never forget, and I'll tell you it was the weirdest confrontation I've ever had.


Well, one of the weirdest.



So it was a typical warm and sunny day in downtown Salt Lake, I again was headed across the street to the mall to pick up lunch. I was by myself, I was was wearing my business skirt and top, and I was wearing my high heels. Normally I am about 5'10 & 1/2" but when wearing heals, I am a giant 6'2''!



I know....very scery!




So anyway I thought I looked pretty professional ya know? But apparently I was an easy target to a 3 foot man holding a video camera. I was in the middle of the cross walk and saw him out of the corner of my eye walking the opposite direction. We passed and I didn't think anything of it until I heard someone say,


"Hey miss, excuse me, miss?"


I turned around and nobody was there! Creepy I thought, and turned around to continue into the mall.


"Excuse me, um, down here!"


I turned around again and looked down and there he was. Standing 3 feet tall, he looked to be in his mid to late 20's, dressed casually but adorned with bling galore, and he was looking up at me with a little smirk on his face.


"Oh, um, yes?" I said to him. He sat there for a second and put his video camera in his bag and flat out asked,


"Will you be in a party video that me and my friends are filming?"


What? I just sat there and was trying to understand what he was asking me. So he stared at me with that same little smirk on his face while I stood there with my jaw sinking into the floor and my face turning a nice bright crimson color while flashes of those Girls Gone Wild commercials spun inside my head.


"You know, it's one of those "party" movies. Wanna be in it?" As I heaved my jaw from off the ground and stuffed it back into my head, I stammered,


"Um....no thank you."


Then I turned and ran like hell outta there! I didn't want to even think about what kind of video he could be making that involved a 6'2'' tall woman and a 3' tall man!

What did you think I would do, say yes?

Sorry to disappoint but what would you do?