Tuesday, August 3, 2010

There Will Be No Crotch Watching Here

So remember like a month ago when I officially turned one year older? Yeah, well I finally have all the pictures from the little family get together downloaded. Only one month late. Whatev.

I know we have a lot of these little get togethers (or so Nikki tell's me) so I'm sure you're all sick of looking at them, but if you can make it through, there will be a special surprise for you this time.

Oh yeah, you're in for a treat.

How bout we start with the best part, family bonding.

Bonding? Phfsssh! Yeah right, I'm talking about presents!

This is a platter my dad gave me that matches my new place, it's beautiful and is sitting on my kitchen table right now!
(Notice cute lil Brolan on the very right hand side. He is constantly going, going, going. Trying to get him to stay still to take a picture is like a girl trying to pee in a urinal, it ain't easy!)

This is my "Awwwwwwwwwww" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-you-gave-me-my-absolute-favorite-coffee-shop-gift-card-Beans-and-Brews-chai-here-we-come!" face. Thanks Lin for help feeding my addiction.

And thanks to everyone else for all the money!!! I like money. Alot.

Now, this is my "Ooooooooh" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-I-have-to-wear-these-shoes-with-no-heal-because-I-no-longer-have-a-six-foot-five-dude-to-stand-next-to-anymore-where's-my-stilettos?" face.

Of course Logan cheered me up, he doesn't care how tall I am. He said he loves me as long as I keep buying his favorite beer and popsicles.

Awwwwww, thanks Logie!

And the on lookers were having such a good time watching me open my gifts. Seriously, I must be pretty entertaining. (Never mind the fact that they were all looking at Brolan at the time...)

Do these pics look familiar? Yeah, this is when the infamous dog pile took place. And yes, my brother's face does not change. Ever.

If you happen to scroll back up through the previous pics, you'll see what a dynamic guy he is. He's a riot.

Now for the second best part: The cake.

And by The cake, I mean


Okay, you've suffered enough. Now on to that treat I promised you. I believe a little explanation is in order first.

So you know my mom is getting married so she has put our house up for sale. I say "our" house because even though I haven't lived there for over ten years, it's my home. We all feel that way so this is very sad for all of us.


Deep breath.

So anyway, my mom has been going through all of the crap that has accumulated over the last 25 years in the house and asked us to go through a few things to see if we wanted to keep them or throw them out.

Well, I am a sentimental girl. (Insert Wicked's "A Sentimental Man" background music) And I found one of my old dance costumes. (The only one that wasn't shred to pieces that is, stupid little sisters!) And since I've started recycling (because I heard it's sexy) I thought to myself, I bet I can get some good use out of this old thing!

So....I guess that sort of explains what's going on in these next pics. Sort of.

And the only reason I have decided to post these pics is because sweet Lindee has already pasted them all over facebook. (However she was kind enough to keep the crotch and butt shots out.)

And no, I am not posting the crotch shots that my lovely photographer was able to capture in the following fashion shoot.

(Not that I have anything against crotches. I love looking at crotches. Just not my own.)

Don't you think this would be an awesome outfit to go dancing in? I thought so too.

Now I could tell that everyone else was a little jealous of my new find so I decided I'd let them have a go. First was Logan. (His dad is going to kill me for these pics! If you don't hear from me again, I am probably dead. Please send money in lieu of flowers, thanks.)

Doesn't he make the cutest bride?

I could tell my dad was getting sad that he didn't have a turn so I was like, "Fine whatever you can try it on too, just don't stretch it out bitch."

He just needed a little help is all...

And look at the beautiful bride! Everyone ready? 1 - 2 - 3 "AWWWWWWW!"

And while all this was going on, this was my sister in law's face:

"What the hell did I get married into?"

(I'm just randomly throwing in this picture because I think it turned out pretty cool.)

Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan!

We are all so mature. So the rest of the time was spent doing the usual family activities like hand stand contests.

Of which I clearly kicked ass.

Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan! (Maybe peeing in a urinal isn't so hard after all.)

And of course anytime anyone pays attention to Brolan, Logan starts to steal the show. So he decided to get his groove on.

Kid's got talent.

Must have come from his dad's side cuz it sure as hell didn't come from his mom.

Just sayin.

And before the sun went down, we had to make sure we got one more good dog pile in.

Logan was a little slow at joining in.

Okay, well if you've made it this far and have survived all the pictures I'll give you one more treat.

Meet Cleave:

(You thought I'd actually post a crotch shot on the Internet?)

(You're right I would. If it was Lindee's.)


Kristina P. said...

I feel so gypped that you are wearing pants!

I need cake.

Brian Miller said...

haha. looks like you all had a lot of fun...great pics...smiles. nice outfit...i would hold of on going out in it though...

Bee and Rose said...

You are hilarious! Meet Cleave...snort giggle cackle...

Pricilla said...

Something was missing with the jeans being on. It took away from the outfit.

Happy belated birthday.

confused homemaker said...

You guys always look like you are having so much fun together!!

Happy belated birthday :)

Rebecca Jo said...

I think that is a TOTAL going out to the club dance outfit!!! I can see ONLY YOU pulling it off though!

Sorry - but your dad is still hot, even with that on his head. He coulda put on the whole outfit & still looked HOT! :)

That picture makes me feel drunk... & I dont like being drunk... it really did make me dizzy - like one of those 3D pictures... OooOOOOooooOOOOoooOOO (that's me making dizzy sounds)

Megan said...

Oh.My.Word. You frickin crack me UP!! LMAO!!

You guys have so much fun together. Isn't that a sin or something? :0P

I'm with Rebecca Jo, that one picture is cool but it made me dizzy and a bit nauseous.

Debbi said...

Seriously, Poobs, our families together would cause serious photo-ops of catastrophic proportions!

And secondly, I TOTALLY want a blog post about trying to pee in a urinal. Because, I think you could! (I know *I* can.... just saying.)

And lastly.
HOLY HELL you have one sweet ass in those jeans with the leotard. Probably just as hot of an ass WITHOUT the leotard, but what's the fun of that?!

(And ya. That dizzy picture is awesome! it's like you dish out porn and eye-candy (hot dad) *AND* drugs! Who needs anything other than your blog, girl!?)...

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm thinking that dress would make a great Halloween costume. It's beautiful!!! Not everyone can fit into their old clothes, either, so that's something to be proud of, Skinny Minny!

Closer to Lucy said...

Ewww Rebecca Jo said your dad is hot! It grosses me out when my friends say "your dad" and "hot" in the same sentence.
Does your sister know her name is Cleave?
You're rockin them jeans, leotard and all! Fun shots!

singedwingangel said...

aww man I wish my faily could do this stuff at get togethers.. Oh wait we kinda do ,, not the dog pile but the gag gifts umm yeah like the dildo we got mom for Christmas.. moving on.. Ya'll look like you are having such fun

Suzi said...

Okay, are you grabbing your sister's crotch in one of those dog piles? Or is that someone else?

That cool picture trips my eyes out!

You look fabulous in your old dance costume and Logan makes a beautiful bride. Your dad even looks HAWT in the tutu part.

Looks like you all had a great time! Nothing new there.

Sarah said...

Love the plate! Love the expressions! The cake looks so yummy! Fantastic dance outfit - LOL, That was cute! Hilarious that you were trying to put it on your dad! The expression on your sis in law's face is priceless! The cool picture makes me a bit dizzy, but great shot! Meet Cleave cracked me up!!
You always have such great posts!

Tiffany said...

LOL!! Love it!

You're family is almost as crazy as mine!

Looks like a super fun birthday! And that cake was uber cute!!

Nana said...

O.k. first off, dude on the couch. Not only does his facial expressions never change, he is always on the couch!

WEAR your high high heels!! Who cares! Don't you know men love tall women with legs up to their necks. And how sexy are sexy shoes ?? C'MON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I have to come join your dog pile and give you a slam to the head?

I love your dance thingy. Yes, wear that out dancing but, don't wear high heels. Stileto's, whatever.

I know how hard it is to get a picture of those darn kids. They never stop!

Happy Birthday BTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scrappysue said...

so funny - love all these pics, what a fun birthday u had - and i'd still wear stilettos - tall dude or not! work it! my head is still spinning from that cool backyard shot! that's so weird - i almost fell of my chair!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh cleave it's so nice to meet you, I knew you left me but now I see where you went. lol

Ok that one picture is cool but it makes my head spin ... :)

That looks like one heck of a party :). Sorry for the ahh face with the heels. One day it will back sweetie :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

You're a nut and I've missed you soooooo much!! Write to me because my mailbox is so lonely...ok???

Meathead said...

Happy belated birthday!
Looks like lots of fun was had by all. My family get's pretty silly together too.
Seeing as I'm 5'2", the highest heels wouldn't get me very tall at all!

kel said...

You seriously have the best family ever!

AmyLK said...

Greta pics! Love the bride Pics! lol

Kim said...

haha. I love it. Old dance costumes *sigh* I'm so glad you had a great birthday!

TMI Tara said...

You think recycling is sexy? How bout tall beautiful chicks who wear heals and stilettos and don't care if it makes them even more tall and beautiful?!?! I'm taller than Oby in most of my shoes, but it doesn't bother either of us so I do it.

Bro on the couch is a lot like my bro. Seriously the life of the party.

I didn't know your mommy was getting married. Congrats to her, but sad about the house. I have officially told my parents they can't sell their house. Ever. It is home.

Jason, as himself said...

You are mean. You seem to promise crotch shots and then you do not deliver.

Cleaves, schmeaves. I'm so over boobs. I wanna see some crotch.

All of that aside, I want to be in your family.

KK said...

I love your family, y'all are so fun!


Wish I coulda been there! Miss your face.

Dolly said...

I made it through your whole long line of pictures...and loved them too-♥ Happy Belated Birthday:) Your family parties look like a blast!!!!

yulz said...

hahaha you're gonna get killed with that last pic LMAO

and..you've got so beautiful place... with huge backyard =D

*Maybe* Baby ♥ Mama said...

Our journey has begun!… secretly though

If I’ve left you this message, you’re a follower of my original blog ~OR~ just someone I’ve happened upon while sending out these invites and that I would LOVE for to come along for the ride! Though I won’t be revealing who I am just yet – until we’re TO and THROUGH the first trimester! Just getting the word out about our new site – further explanation of all the secrecy and what we’re about on my first post. I’d love for you to stop by.

Exciting things going on around here!


~ the {secret} *Maybe* Baby Mama

WhisperingWriter said...

You have such an awesome family.

Happy belated Birthday.

heathersister said...

Umm, does your brother ever get his butt off the couch?

Enjoyed the pics but enjoyed the commentary better!