Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Another Round of Thanks But No Thanks!

Last Thanksgiving while everyone was expressing what they were thankful for, I was expressing what I was NOT thankful for and now that the time of year is here again, I thought I'd add to my list!




So the following is a list of things that I am NOT thankful for:


Fake yawns to end a conversation.




People who flush swiffer pads down the toilet.





Those damn seals on new CD cases that are impossible to remove in one peice.





When someone holds the door open for you when you are like 10 feet away so you feel like you have to run so they can let go of the door.





Short bathroom stalls (Hello North Layton Jr High?!)





People who steal my friend's ipod from his car when it's parked in my driveway.


Bumper stickers that are too small to read.





The snow.


My rear wheel drive car.


My rear wheel drive car in the snow.





Couples who share an email address or facebook page.


MySpace





Loud breathers.


Dentists who ask you questions while their hands are in your mouth.





The fact that healthy food is always more expensive than junk food.


My legs.


Short tables.


My legs that don't fit under short tables.


Whiteheads.






Finding other people's pube hairs. Anywhere.





Creepy 50 year old men hitting on you.





Creepy 50 year old neighbors hitting on you.


Mom's who give their kids a mullet when they are too young to know any better.





What are YOU not thankful for?

15 comments:

Shell said...

Two of my boys had mullets. Not cut, just the way they grew. Oops.

blueviolet said...

Oh lawd no, your mama did NOT do that to you and still claim to love you.


PS. I need an update. KWIM?

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I am not thankful for people who either don't flush or don't flush properly at work and give me "surprises" to look at when in the stall

Princess Andy said...

omg.

the mullet is glorious.

but i had one too...so maybe i'm biased.

although i did not have curls on top and not in the back.

teh awesome.

also, sorry.

<3

Amy said...

Gotta love the NLJH stalls lol. I love the mullet you should cut it like that again :-)

Rebecca Jo said...

Add looking at pubes anywhere - INCLUDING BLOGS... (gagging) blahhh!!!!

I was totally cracking up reading these... Confession: I'll hold a door far ahead to see if people will hurry - haha!!!!

BTW - I was going to leave you a message & tell you I dont like you single - it makes you too busy to blog! :) Miss my Pooba when she's not around... it makes my days happier... especially a young Pooba with a mullet! :)

THE Stephanie said...

OMG I'm dying that the girls pink bra strap is showing in the first pic.

And CD's? You still be CD's? ha ha

And that bar of soap made me throw up in my mouth. UGH!!!!

Brian Miller said...

oh yeah...i am scared....

Kristina P. said...

Oooh, I totally agree about the shared email address! I didn't realize a friend of mine shared her email address with her husband, until I made a quip about an ex-boyfriend of hers that was in the news a lot at the time, and he apparently got mad. BOOOOOOOO.

Kitten said...

Oh my...the mullet...PLEASE tell me that's photoshopped...if that thing is real, I will DIE.

Danielle said...

I do love Thanksgiving thankful lists, but I've got to say, your UNthankful list is awesome. No matter how sentimental everyone gets around the holidays, flushing swiffers is never ok. :)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

That soap? Just WRONG WRONG WRONG

Kasey said...

HA HA!! You crack me up!

Julia said...

You threw that table short thing in there and I had to jump in. I spent two weeks looking for a table I could fit my gangly body beneath!
I get it. When you turn older than 30 (remember I am 10 yrs your senior) it's kind of a complement to get hit on. And yes I am in poor commenting form lately.

The Green Family said...

OMG...I totally remember the stalls at NLJH!! And, I think you should bring that hair cut back, at least the stabbers would stay away.