Monday, October 27, 2008

Thank God I'm A Sucker

I am, have always been and quite possibly will always be

a sucker.

Doesn't matter what your selling, if you come to my door and smile, I will buy it! I just can't bring myself to say no to someone who has spent the last 15 minutes desperately hyping up his product in hopes that this gullible blond will cave in so he can feed his 12 starving children McDonald's tonight instead of their usual night of rummaging through the gas station trash can in search of anything edible.

I know, I know, it's not like that AT ALL for these sales people but could be right? So Bert has tried to help me just say no, but I am the most passive aggressive person you will ever meet so I started saying:

"Well how about you come back when my husband is home?" But I soon found out this wasn't a good tactic when one salesman responded:

"You mean your husband doesn't let you make any decisions on your own?"

That right there made me angry, put of course I just smiled politely and said "Nope!" and shut the door. Ahhh, Bert was so proud.

So I thought I was getting better until I went to the mall last week.

By myself.

While walking through the mall kiosks, I was approached by this man who said he wanted to show me something, I had seen these booths before with their flat irons and hair extensions and thought it wouldn't hurt anything to just humor this guy for a bit right?


He sat me down on the chair and started flat ironing my hair which was no big deal until he showed me how to curl my hair with the flat iron. I was amazed! Perfect ringlets with a flat iron? Impossible!

So I sat there and let him curl my whole head and talk about how great the product is and how he was a hair stylist over seas and had just moved to the United States a couple months ago. It was all fine and dandy until he told me how much the straightener costs,


What? But of course he could sell it to me for a measly 170 bucks. Because I was special. Because he liked me.

I didn't want to buy it, I already had a straightener at home, I was about to suck it up and say no like I had practiced, but then he told me the flat iron came in pink!

I stalled, the poor guy had worked so hard on getting this sale I couldn't just say no! What if he started to cry? I couldn't walk away and feel good about myself that I made a grown man cry could I?!

There was no turning back now. I told myself I would buy it today and return it tomorrow. So the man got his sale and I left with the pink wonder in my hand.

It sat in it's box at my house for a week. I was going to return it, I really was.

But then I used it. And instantly the heavens opened up and smiled down on me and I fell in love.

And I now thank God everyday for making me a sucker.

For if I wasn't a sucker I would not have this pink miracle in my life today.


Silkman's said...

You are hilarious!! I can't say no either and either can Clay he always buys the stupid cleaning solution that the people from Chicago come and sell door to door. But thank god the Police showed up last time just before Clay was going to buy it and the lady got a ticket for not having a license.

Janalyn and Rob said...

I saw your blog linked to Amy's & started to read it. I love it! Hope that doesn't sound stalkerish. :)

I nearly fell into the same trap at the mall but barely managed to walk away. Ever since then I have been disappointed by my own flat iron and have wondered if the one at the mall was really that good. Other than the great pinkness, it is really that great?

Orr's said...

Were so alike its scary I did the same thing with a $30 nail filer/buffer.

dani said...

Love the post Kel. But I have a better way to avoid. I just don't answer the door. Ever. Even if we make eye contact through the window. So if you come to my house, call and tell me first!

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

HILARIOUS! This totally sounds like me. Husby gets mad at me all the time because I can NOT say no! It's sooooo hard when I feel so sorry for the person trying to sell their goofy gadgets. HA! You are so funny. I am glad you have a miracle worker!

Jennifer Lee said...

Kelly, you are so funny! I avoid them by just saying, "No, thank you." Everytime. No matter what. It helps me because I am a spender. Anything and everything usually, so I just say no, I can't even look at the product, they always find a way to suck you in.

Odi et Amo loosely means I hate and I love. It's from a poem, Catullus 85.

Annie Harper said...

Kelly, only because I do your hair can I condone this "I'm a sucker for a flat iron" behavior. But if it had been one of those hideous shiny fake hair pieces with random mini braids in it, our relationship would be over.

And yes, it is possible to curl your hair in ringlets with a flat iron. Most likely with the one you had before the pink wonder entered your life. That's right, as long as it has rounded edges, your set. Maybe you should have a sponser. You know, the person you call for support in your weakest moments....

Oh, and no more telling strange men "selling something" at your door that your husband isn't home. That's a no no.

P.S. Let me know which style of True Religions you would like ASAP. Is there one you have in mind?

Meaghan said...

I spent 250 on my flat iron. It was my I Beat Cancer Present! Somehow I avoided losing my hair so i thought it was the perfect gift to myself.

AND, it was worth every penny!

I GOT MY PIF GIFT TODAY!!!!!! Now my house smells so yummy. I am beyond excited. And, wow that was an expensive package to ship....eeeeek!

Thank you a million times over I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!


Megan Kelley Hall said...

Thanks for entering the Mabel's House contest to win my debut suspense novel, SISTERS OF MISERY! Even if you don't win, I hope you get a chance to read and enjoy it!

Megan Kelley Hall

P.S. Happy Halloween!!

Weeksie50 said...

lol- you are to funny..
I am glad that your love your new miracle pink straightner..

I am also glad you liked the tote and the things I was picking up some Burts Bee's when I seen that pen.. I always like to carry some fun whimsical little pen in my purse.. I know that one is huge..but I couldn't resist.. Iam glad you like it..

Weeksie50 said...

lol- you are to funny..
I am glad that your love your new miracle pink straightner..

I am also glad you liked the tote and the things I was picking up some Burts Bee's when I seen that pen.. I always like to carry some fun whimsical little pen in my purse.. I know that one is huge..but I couldn't resist.. Iam glad you like it..


Hello- yeah we sell pink flat irons too, red, skulls, all different kinds. They just are not always in. Anyway, glad you like the iron. I have worn my jewelry like everyday. I love it so much. Thanks a mill. Glad I got to see you for 2 seconds. Sorry it was stop and go. Love ya!

Amy said...

**Crackin' me up!**

Anonymous said...

I am such a sucker too!
At least you ended up with something useful! I have a freezer full of food we don't eat bc I can't say 'no' to the guy who comes to our door selling food!

thotlady said...

I have a flat iron. You have to tell me how you create ringlets with it?


Tiaras & Tantrums said...

oh I used the cheapies to until I bought my CHI - never returning to junk!!