Friday, March 27, 2009

How To Give Your Husband A Heart Attack.

Leave a bottle of these on the counter:






Yes, I am taking prenatal pills. No, I am NOT pregnant or even trying to get pregnant. I am taking these pills because they help my hair. One day, many years ago I decided I didn't want to be a blond anymore so I died it brown.

Dark brown.

It was fun, I liked it a lot, but in the end it just wasn't me. So I went back blond which has been a long hard and painful process, but these pills have carried me through! Yay pills, I love you! And Andrea of course, she may have had a little something to do with it.

Apparently my dear hubster was not aware of my prenatal vitamin taking habit when he saw these left out on the counter one day.

Hubster: "Poob, what are these?"

Me: "What are what?"

Hubster, talking very slowly: "Why are there prenatal vitamins on our counter?"

Me, now realizing a great opportunity here: "Well, um, their mine."

Hubster, getting panicky: "Poob, you better not be takin these! Why are you taking these!"

Me, with this fake scared look on my face like I was about to admit something very evil: "Well..."

Hubster: "POOB!"

Me, using my acting skills to appear frightened: "Don't freak out, I've had to take them for a while."

Hubster, with a horrified look on his face: "Poob, you better not be lying to me, this isn't funny!"

Me, enjoying every minute of this: "I'm not lying, I swear!"

Hubster, barely able to contain himself: "What!?!"

Me, busting out laughing: "Silly Bert! I'm taking them because they help my hair and nails! Calm down! Breath...just breath."

Hubster: "I'm gonna kill you!"

He totally thought I was pregnant! Don't get me wrong, we want to have kids, but we have a very specific plan right now of when we will start. Oh man, you should have seen this boys face, it was priceless! I scared him to death, and boy was it fun!

I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to scare the shit out of their husband!

I'll even let you borrow my bottle.

50 comments:

Lisa Cheney said...

hahaha, that's evil. and i love it!

Call Me Cate said...

I should start taking these for my hair and nails. And if I "oops" leave them on the counter... Off to Amazon to place an order!

Jon and Steph said...

I love it! hehehe!

Nana said...

Yeah, My husband would be thrilled, since I'm like old and had a hysterectomy 20 yrs. ago. We could have our own reality show, we would be in all the magazines and newspapers. Too bad it can't happen cuz it sure would stimulate our personal economy.

I'm just kidding of course!

The New Black said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda Hopper said...

LOL! That's awesome. My hubster recently saw a very similar looking bottle on my nightstand and just laughed and realized I'm not kidding around anymore! We plan on starting to try to have a bebe this summer.

Kathy B! said...

I would like to do this! My hubby would have a coronary! I might just have to think about this... *evil-mind spinning*

Courtney said...

Pure Evil! Loves it!

Michelle said...

That is AWESOME!! What a funny thing to do. I need to figure out something like that to do to my hubby.. The prenatal pills wouldn't work though, because he'd be thrilled by the idea of another one. No, definitely need something more sadistic. Let me know if you have any ideas!!

Rebecca Jo said...

That is hilarious!!! Even better - I need to get our youngest (who is 20) to put a bottle in her purse for hubs to "find"...oh - talk about a heart attack... this is fun! :-)

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

Seeing that my lova is more baby hungry than I am I think he would start crying! Hahaha so funny tho. Good form ol chap, good form.

Orr's said...

Dont mess with the plan Kel... You WILL die

ChicagoLady said...

Very evil. Very funny...but still evil.

Suzi said...

Too funny! That is quite a joke, should have saved it for April Fool's Day.

Debbi said...

HAHAHA, I think I may use that for my boyfriend. Whom I'm not sexually active with. THAT'D be the true joke...

'uh... why would you need these?!" lol

Kasey Hunt said...

Good one!!!

Donnetta said...

That is FABULOUS!!! Gotta torture them at times - just to keep them in line! :)

Michelle said...

Ha! I did the same thing earlier this month when my hair was butchered. It's my pitiful attempt to fix it as fast as I can.

Kim said...

Haha...good one!

Karin Katherine said...

Send the bottle to ME immediately!

blueviolet said...

My hubby had the snip-snip. It would be REALLY funny if I tried that joke. Or not so much.

Our Family! said...

That is so funny. Steve freaks everytime I take mine he thinks I'm going to get pregnant...you would think at the age of 29 and one kid he would know what causes it.

Suzi said...

I left you an award. ;-)

LadyStyx said...

Heh heh heh. Shoulda had a camera ready and grabbed a pic of the look on his face.

Yaya said...

That is FUNNY! I've found the prenatals are less harsh on your stomach than the regular ones too!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Way to grab the moment and run with it.

Just beware the paybacks.

nikkicrumpet said...

You are an evil wicked woman. And I wish you'd snapped a picture of his face...what kind of blogger are you to miss such a moment!

Mama Kat said...

That is too funny! I would have loved to have been a fly on THAT wall!! Poor poor hubby. ;)

Julia said...

Now I don't want to be the one washing his underpants...

Maybe you need to get a bottle of male enhancement vitamins and leave them on the counter then really make him squirm.

Franco said...

omg that is so priceless!!!
i can so see it in my head.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Hmmm. I think that would be more fun to do with my husband. Our oldest is 27 and we're pretty cozy into middle age. He would totally freak! And besides my hair is getting so thin, I'd love something that would fill it out a bit more.

JamieH said...

That was funny....But you also have to remember that paybacks are a bitch.

heathersister said...

Ohh, you are so very evil and so very good at it.

THE Stephanie said...

That was mean... but freakin' hilarious!!!

Rhea said...

You just totally inspired my April Fool's Day prank this year...

Barely Domestic Mama said...

Oh man! That is hilarious!

I tell women all the time to try prenatals to get their hair to grow faster. Can you believe that I have to explain that it isn't a fertility drug?! :)

St. Jeor Family said...

Thats pretty funny! I did something like that to my husband, but it was April Fools day and I had my prego sister in law pee on a stick and left it in the bathroom for him to see. It was priceless seeing his reaction! Such great fun!

Kitten said...

I might just give this a try...my fingernails could use a little TLC.

Lee said...

I could scare my mom with those.
But I like not being dead.

BeeHappy said...

That is great! Hilarious :)

Shannon said...

So glad you recognized the opportunity and went for a good joke! I love doing stuff like that to my husband. Nothing better than catching him off guard and freaking him out for a second.

Just wandered over from my pretty purse.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Ohmygosh! That was priceless!!

Suzi said...

More bloggy love for you at my place.

Mrs. D Lightful said...

LOL that is so funny! Hmmmm...great idea for an April fool's trick....

Cris said...

What do you think his Dad would do if I started taking them? I am cleaned out so this would be a real trip for him. HUMMMMMMM!!!

The Rambler said...

Buwhahahahaha....awesome story!

Emily said...

That would be a great April Fool's day joke. Goes right along with our post today--going as far as to get a pregnant friend to pee on a tester to psych out your husband. Actually, taken that far is kind of mean. But still funny. ;-)

CLUFF FAMILY said...

WOULDA BEEN PERFECT FOR APRIL FOOLS!

Megan said...

heeheehee Poor Bert. Frickin hilarious though!

African American Mom said...

I found your blog through SITS and it is so funny! I am now a follower!