Leave a bottle of these on the counter:
Yes, I am taking prenatal pills. No, I am NOT pregnant or even trying to get pregnant. I am taking these pills because they help my hair. One day, many years ago I decided I didn't want to be a blond anymore so I died it brown.
It was fun, I liked it a lot, but in the end it just wasn't me. So I went back blond which has been a long hard and painful process, but these pills have carried me through! Yay pills, I love you! And Andrea of course, she may have had a little something to do with it.
Apparently my dear hubster was not aware of my prenatal vitamin taking habit when he saw these left out on the counter one day.
Hubster: "Poob, what are these?"
Me: "What are what?"
Hubster, talking very slowly: "Why are there prenatal vitamins on our counter?"
Me, now realizing a great opportunity here: "Well, um, their mine."
Hubster, getting panicky: "Poob, you better not be takin these! Why are you taking these!"
Me, with this fake scared look on my face like I was about to admit something very evil: "Well..."
Me, using my acting skills to appear frightened: "Don't freak out, I've had to take them for a while."
Hubster, with a horrified look on his face: "Poob, you better not be lying to me, this isn't funny!"
Me, enjoying every minute of this: "I'm not lying, I swear!"
Hubster, barely able to contain himself: "What!?!"
Me, busting out laughing: "Silly Bert! I'm taking them because they help my hair and nails! Calm down! Breath...just breath."
Hubster: "I'm gonna kill you!"
He totally thought I was pregnant! Don't get me wrong, we want to have kids, but we have a very specific plan right now of when we will start. Oh man, you should have seen this boys face, it was priceless! I scared him to death, and boy was it fun!
I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to scare the shit out of their husband!
I'll even let you borrow my bottle.
1 year ago