I do so much stupid stuff and so much stupid stuff just happens to me all the time. I think the Universe does this to make up for my lucky streaks like winning concert tickets and massage chairs.
Case in point.
Monday morning, I'm getting ready in my get ready room (you know the room next to the bedroom that usually is the baby's room? No baby, hence my get ready room) Now let me set up the situation here for you. When I get out of the shower I stay wrapped in my towel while I do my hair and my makeup, getting dressed is the last thing I do before I walk out the door. And just in case you're wondering, no I am NOT Kristina's naked neighbor, I keep my blinds closed thank you very much!
So I'm sitting in my get ready chair, wrapped in a towel mind you, and curling the back of my hair with my big fat curling iron. I'm using my right hand to hold the iron in my hair when somehow it decides to jump out of my hand. While it has detached itself from my hand, it is still attached to my hair so instead of falling to the floor, it lands on my chest. At the very same time my towel bails out and hits the floor ducking for cover, or so it says, but we both know my towel was in on the nasty prank and and did this on purpose.
As the iron starts burning a big fat groove into my boob I'm thinking in my head that I've gotta get this iron off my chest before it is permanently embedded in my skin. So I grab it with my hand, not by the handle mind you, but of course I grab the burning hot portion of the iron which relieves the burning from my chest by transferring the searing pain to my hand.
Finally my smarter left hand steps in and grabs the iron by the handle and releases it from my hair. Now I'm sitting there in shock and confused about what just happened. I run into the bedroom where my hubster was still sleeping and try to explain what had just happened and he holds back his laughter as he comforts me.
Now I have a beautiful purple looking burn on my chest with one on my hand to match. I think I better stick to my heavenly straightner and leave the curling iron alone from now on.
But I believe everything happens for a reason and the good thing from this situation is that my finger tips on my right hand may be permanently smooth and free of fingerprints. I've decided this is another sign from God that I have a higher calling, a hit-woman.
So if anyone needs a "hand" in any "situation", I'm your gal. My rates are reasonable and I gaurantee 100% satisfaction or your money back.
1 year ago