I really wasn't going to write about this, but I've written every other embarrassing moment in my life so why stop now right?
As you know I went to the fair a couple weekends ago.
I love the fair. I love anything with rides. And cotton candy. My husband thinks quite the opposite though, hates rides, hates fairs, hates people. Not all people, just those ones that breathe. So I went to the fair with my mom, Alyse (baby sis), Lindee (lil sis), and the neph Logan.
And yes, Alyse really did wear this outfit ALL day. And yes, she really did think it was stylish.
We made the mistake of taking Logan on the Tea Cup ride first. He hated it.
So of course he was too scared to go on any other ride, good thing there was a train ride. He is obsessed with Thomas the train and love, love, loves trains. So we went on this ride quite a bit.
My goal at this fair was to try the deep fried goodness that I had heard so much about. Apparently you can deep fry anything snickers, oreos, even Coke! When in Rhome right? So this was our lunch:
A Navajo taco,
deep fried peanut butter & Jelly sandwich,
and for dessert, deep fried cheesecake.
So after we each gained 30 pounds, we thought it only fitting that we go visit the pigs den.
There were some huge cows!
Among other BIG things.
So by this time, we were all exhausted, it was hot, dry and I was feeling dehydrated. I felt like I couldn’t drink enough water. You know how you are so thirsty but your stomach is so full you can’t drink anything more? That’s how I felt.
So we were about to call it a day when I realized that we hadn’t gone on one of my favorite rides, The Starship. You know the one where everyone climbs into a cylinder room and stands against the wall as the room begins to spin a billion times a minute?
Oh it’s the best!
So Lin, Lyse and I took our places against the wall. We laughed in anticipation as the Starship slowly started to turn. It wasn’t long before I could feel all my weight begin to press against the wall. We were then able to lift our feet off the ground and climb up the wall on our backs.
The Starship then went faster and my organs began to fight for space as they were all crammed up into my ribs. I looked over at Lindee and Alyse and they were laughing and truly enjoying the sensation.
I on the other hand felt something that I have never felt before on a ride, I was feeling nauseous. I closed my eyes as I tried to coax my stomach into settling down, and promised that soon the intestines would return to their home and all would be well again.
It wasn’t listening. While I was concentrating, the wall that I was forced against slid upward and I hit my head on the ceiling. That didn’t help things. Finally, the ride started slowing down and I could feel my intestines sliding back down into place and my heart finally left my throat to its home behind my ribs.
I opened my eyes just before the ride had stopped spinning. Big mistake.
I looked over at Lindee and realized this was it, this was the end and there was no going back now. I grabbed my mouth with my hand as my stomach forced the deep fried goodness from my belly back out the way it came in.
Luckily the other riders were not in target range so they were able to avoid any flying remnants. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky. I tried to clean myself up as best I could while trying to hide my face from other’s view. I heard sweet sis Lindee say that the ride operator would clean it up for me so I kept my head down as we exited the ride.
I heard the kids waiting in line moaning to their parents because they would have to wait until the mess was cleaned up before they got their turn on the Spewship. Yes I was embarrassed, but I felt even worse because I let myself down.
I not only disappointed those kids, I disappointed myself. I have always prided myself in my ability to handle any ride no matter how fast, no matter how high. But no longer, I am a failure.
I hang my head in shame.
1 year ago