Monday, September 28, 2009

Oh The Shame!

I really wasn't going to write about this, but I've written every other embarrassing moment in my life so why stop now right?

As you know I went to the fair a couple weekends ago.

I love the fair. I love anything with rides. And cotton candy. My husband thinks quite the opposite though, hates rides, hates fairs, hates people. Not all people, just those ones that breathe. So I went to the fair with my mom, Alyse (baby sis), Lindee (lil sis), and the neph Logan.

And yes, Alyse really did wear this outfit ALL day. And yes, she really did think it was stylish.

We made the mistake of taking Logan on the Tea Cup ride first. He hated it.

Hated. It.

So of course he was too scared to go on any other ride, good thing there was a train ride. He is obsessed with Thomas the train and love, love, loves trains. So we went on this ride quite a bit.

My goal at this fair was to try the deep fried goodness that I had heard so much about. Apparently you can deep fry anything snickers, oreos, even Coke! When in Rhome right? So this was our lunch:

A Navajo taco,

funnel cake,

deep fried peanut butter & Jelly sandwich,

and for dessert, deep fried cheesecake.

So after we each gained 30 pounds, we thought it only fitting that we go visit the pigs den.

There were some huge cows!

Among other BIG things.

So by this time, we were all exhausted, it was hot, dry and I was feeling dehydrated. I felt like I couldn’t drink enough water. You know how you are so thirsty but your stomach is so full you can’t drink anything more? That’s how I felt.

So we were about to call it a day when I realized that we hadn’t gone on one of my favorite rides, The Starship. You know the one where everyone climbs into a cylinder room and stands against the wall as the room begins to spin a billion times a minute?

Oh it’s the best!

So Lin, Lyse and I took our places against the wall. We laughed in anticipation as the Starship slowly started to turn. It wasn’t long before I could feel all my weight begin to press against the wall. We were then able to lift our feet off the ground and climb up the wall on our backs.

The Starship then went faster and my organs began to fight for space as they were all crammed up into my ribs. I looked over at Lindee and Alyse and they were laughing and truly enjoying the sensation.

I on the other hand felt something that I have never felt before on a ride, I was feeling nauseous. I closed my eyes as I tried to coax my stomach into settling down, and promised that soon the intestines would return to their home and all would be well again.

It wasn’t listening. While I was concentrating, the wall that I was forced against slid upward and I hit my head on the ceiling. That didn’t help things. Finally, the ride started slowing down and I could feel my intestines sliding back down into place and my heart finally left my throat to its home behind my ribs.

I opened my eyes just before the ride had stopped spinning. Big mistake.

I looked over at Lindee and realized this was it, this was the end and there was no going back now. I grabbed my mouth with my hand as my stomach forced the deep fried goodness from my belly back out the way it came in.

I spewed.

Luckily the other riders were not in target range so they were able to avoid any flying remnants. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky. I tried to clean myself up as best I could while trying to hide my face from other’s view. I heard sweet sis Lindee say that the ride operator would clean it up for me so I kept my head down as we exited the ride.

I heard the kids waiting in line moaning to their parents because they would have to wait until the mess was cleaned up before they got their turn on the Spewship. Yes I was embarrassed, but I felt even worse because I let myself down.

I not only disappointed those kids, I disappointed myself. I have always prided myself in my ability to handle any ride no matter how fast, no matter how high. But no longer, I am a failure.

I hang my head in shame.


Aunt of 14 said...

Number 1, your sister terrifies me. Those socks!!!!!!! But that wasn't the worst part. The socks do match her shirt, so it is kind of passable, yeah... but those shoes? I wish she had gone with mary janes!

Number 2, I snorted Diet Coke up my nose by accident when I saw the big bull testicles. OH MY. Do you know how much that hurts?

Number 3, I know the ride you speak of. I think that was the last ride I ever went on, at a fair. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. But now I won't even think about it.

Aunt of 14 said...

Wait a second, my number two sounded totally wrong and out of context. I meant, do you know how much diet coke up your nose hurts? NOT the bulls testicles.

Amanda Hopper said...

Oh honey, I've been there done that......back when I was probably 10 years old, but I remember it so vividly. They actually took the ride out of Six Flags here. It no longer exists. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! That is so nasty! I was gonna say I want that deep fried lunch but thanks, now I've lost my appetite. Blah.

Pricilla said...

So very sorry. But

You should know by now that the fried food comes AFTER the spinny rides.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That sucks, but it is hysterical!!

Anonymous said...

I am using your site today to test my comment making ability. Forgive me, Poob.

This is just a sign of how desperate I am.

Rebecca Jo said...

Being a motion sickness kinda gal, I was thinking I was getting nauseated just looking at the picture & reading the story... I could feel my Subway coming back up from lunch! :)

Poor thing! That had to be horrible. Fried, greasy foods are rough enough going down... coming back up? Oh mercy...

Gotta know though - was the deep fried cheese cake good? Or are you totally against all those foods since you got to taste them twice?

BTW - totally love your sis's style... bet no one else had that outfit on!

Kristina P. said...

I sort of hate you right now. My only reason for going to the fair is to eat as much as humanly possible. And we didn't get to go this year. We were planning on it, and then the weather turned bad. I really need some Chacon.

Call Me Cate said...

I don't think it's the ride you didn't handle... At least you didn't get any on your sister's socks!

Jen said...

Oh poor you. I am sorry that you tossed your cookies. But at least you don't have something that big hanging b/t your legs like the bull. That would be embarrassing.

foxy said...

Oh man, if there's any ride that can do it... THAT is the one! That's my ALL-TIME favorite ride, but it would be especially tough with a belly full of grease!

jennster said...

you are an embarassment!! you hear me?? i can't believe i like you. lol

jennster said...

and ps- love the socks, but it's the shoes that DO NOT WORK. kthxbai

Justine said...

This is one post I should have skipped. It was all good till you got on the starship!!! Oy. Ugh. blech.

What is a navajo taco anyway? It looked so good!

And btw... Alyse's outfit was totally adorable, except for the shoes. I don't know what shoes would have looked good with that, but it wasnt' them!

Justine :o )

Mayhem and Moxie said...

Alright. I'm back again.

How does this option work for you?

You know that I live to make our contact info accessible to you and only you.

It's true.

Think Bryan Adams...(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Mayhem and Moxie said...

Here is option #2. Do you have a preference? Is this linking to my e-mail account?

Oh, and...
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Mayhem and Moxie said...

I can't get the damn Open ID to work. Ugh.

It makes me laugh that you still have the word verification turned off, my friend. Are you being infiltrated by spam?

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Do you remember being deeply moved by this song in the Robin Hood movie starring Kevin Costner?

Go with me on this, Poob.


Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

Don't you just hate getting old? I used to be fine spinning with my girls, now I get too sick that I stand still while they spin around me.

blueviolet said...

I can't ride anything anymore that spins! I have never spewed but boy, have I come close, so I've officially let myself accept the fact that I'm old, my day is done, I've got one foot in the get the picture.

Melissa said...

I love fairs, and I could seriously eat all day at one!

I had a friend that blew chunks on me in like 10th grade riding the pirate ship and she was behind me.

I never ride those on a full stomach or let anyone else near me!
No one kows you at the fair anyway!!

Suzi said...

Your sister's outfit is HOT! I, personally, can't ride those rides, but had I been with you? I would have laughed my ASS off. What are friends for right?

Wehrle said...

Oh Kel.... I too hate that ride!!! And I too have let loose after it!!! I LOVE rides but I just can not handle that one!! I think it is because it is always so dang hot inside it and it never fails that the carney guy is smoking and the mixture of it all just hates me!!! I need fresh air if I am going to be spinning on rides!! Bleh! Sorry you barfed though....!

parentingBYdummies said...

My post today is about the fair too! It's not as exciting as yours those b/c I didn't have a hot chick in knee highs with me (and she is stylish, at least I think so, but possibly that's b/c I wore a very similar outfit just last week. But, wait, are you saying that's NOT stylish? Dang it!), nor did I get a chance to puke my guts out (b/c the rides were WAY too expensive for me and the dudes to ride). But, if it makes you feel better after enjoying hot dogs and funnel cake and lemonade I'm sure I totally woulda lost my cookies if I woulda ridden anything.

Kathy B! said...

I think it was Alyse's socks that made you vomit... that way you can poke fun at her outfit and retain your crown as the rider of all scary rides :)

YuL hm said...

Her socks ROCK :p

I always enjoyed the Tea Cup ride :) BUT the Starship ? I'll absolutely have to decline huhu I'm such a coward to ride those kind of games

Lee said...

Awwww, you puked. That sucks.
I thought I was going to puke on this one ride at the Adventuredome, but I managed to calm myself down.
I was too busy cussing Drew out for taking me on it.

Julia said...

The fair and all it's glory! Oh to be at that momentous event! So sorry you had to barf up all that great slop.

PS. I just purchased my first pair of pumps in like over 20 years. They are black too but not as cute as yours. Do you want to guess the shoe size?? Naw.

Karin Katherine said...

Oh my. I would have spewed just eating that fried PBJ sandwich. YUCK!

Oh, and I will never go on a ride with you or stand down wind...but I will gladly share my cotton candy!
; 0 )

Missy said...

I used to be able to handle any ride too. Sadly now I can barely handle any. It all started when I puked on the Back to Future ride. Unfortuneatly for the fellow passengers on my ride I got about half of them. It's a much smaller space.
I was ashamed. and sick. and unaware that apparently I was pregnant.
Just saying.

confused homemaker said...

The worst part is I saw all that food in the pictures, knew this couldn't turn out well, & still I kept reading.

Now I am not going to be able to look at the deep fried goodness of the fair the same. I'll still eat but I'll be looking at it differently.

LadyStyx said...

And that would be why one does not ride those type of rides after eating all that fattening deep-fried goodness (especially that cheesecake!!). I don't do rides so much anymore. Even when I did enjoy rides, that's one I never would have gotten on.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh girlie! I'm so sorry to hear that! I think is why I usually avoid that ride.

Ok so here it goes ... when I was high school we went on the Kamikaze (use I even remember the name) and we're sitting there waiting to get off the ride. When I heard the unmistakable sound of someone puking. Before I could move on top of the person sitting next to me (darn bar in the way) I felt the lovely feeling of puke down my side!! Yup the lovely drunk above me decided to toss his cookies and what better time then when you're over the top of another person. Sad to say this was our first ride of the night. Yup so there I was stuck at the fair, puked on and not smelling so Teen Spirit (sorry Nirvana reference) anymore!

Thankfully a cute guy I had my heart on worked there saw what happened and gave me his lovely flannel shirt (I lived in the sticks). Sadly I was a little chunky even then so let's just say flannel shirt, puked on wet hair from running to the water fountain to wash it out. Yup I was rocking that night!

LOL see now don't you feel better :) ... ha-ha, yup that's what I'm here for :)

Janalyn and Rob said...

That is so incredibly hilarious/embarrassing! I am always worried that I will hurl...I've noticed that my stomach isn't as strong as it used to be in my younger days.

I had no idea you could deep fry half that stuff. Was it good enough that you'd try it again, or was once enough?

Princess Andy said...


i always worried about puking on rides @ the fair.

well, that and the ride malfunctioning and falling to my death.



p.s. that was an awesome laugh. and the bulls testes? spectacular.

Hit 40 said...

OH MY!!! I can not even believe you went on the spinner ride. CRAZY!!! I would love to have had a picture with the puke all over yourself. Too funny!!!

Did the ride operator offer to hose you down too? Next time take a towel to sit on for the ride home.

Marissa said...

Ok, wow...not quite sure what to say about the puking incident so I'll forego that and go straight to the food! All the shots of lemonade have made me REALLY thirsty, and let's just face really can't go wrong with frying ANYTHING :0)

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

Your photos are always so crystal clear. Too crystal clear when it came to the food photos...felt like I was right there with you about to lose my lunch. Good aim!


Stephanie Faris said...

I went to the fair on my first date with my ex-husband. We went on that vomitorium ride where they spin you around and around to show how you stick to the wall, followed with the pirate boat ride...and I thought I was going to be sick on our first date!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Dramamine. Dramamine. Dramamine.

I remember the first time it happened to me. I didn't throw up, but I was close. Luckily, hubs had already been through it and we had meds on hand. Next time, remember to stop at the pharmacy on your way to the fair.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Aww poor Pooba! That stinks doesn't it. I did it once too. Just stinks. The upside is that you are getting a LOT of comments out of it.

Maki said...

Awww:( I guess that deep fried cheesecake and peanut butter sandwitch did it, didn't it? Poor baby...

But I've never heard of Starship. It sure looks like some fun ride and I would love to try - of course I will do it before eating anythihng...

TMI Tara said...

LOLOLOL. I'm sorry to laugh at your unfortune, but c'mon.... you had to have known! Hopefully this experience hasn't completely ruined you of your love for Navajo Tacos -- they're just the best I tell ya!

I almost spewed after that closeup of the cow's package. Eeeewwww!

JennyMac said...

deep fried PB& tummy churned just reading that..LOL.

and I love how Aunt of 14 mocked the argyles. Back in the day I LOVED on some argyles.

Frogs in my formula said...

You poor thing---but what were you thinking? That ride can make you spew even on an empty stomach.

LOL at the cow's balls.

How were the deep fried foods? I mean, going in!

Anonymous said...

Don't be ashamed, it happens to everyone eventually! You can only ride so many before you have to spew at one point in your life!

Aleta said...

I liked her outfit, until I got to the socks. That was just awful, hilarious, but noooooooo... I want to send her to "What Not to Wear" show. Lol.

The spewship story, OMG, that is my worst nightmare and I KNOW that ride, I used to love it, but oh man, when I read what you ate and then that ride.... YIKES! Sorry for you....

Sara said...

The socks were a bit much for me. I think I liked the rainbow tights picture you posted a while back better. ;) The food sounds awful! Except for the funnel cake. Where was the powdered sugar?! And LMAO at the Spewship. You poor soul.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Princess Nagger would think your sister was stylin'...uh-oh, does that mean your sister has the fashion sense of a 6 year old? Ooops!

Loved the pictures - and thank you for not posting one of you would have made me want to follow suit. I've never gone on that ride because my cousin got sick on it years ago. That was good enough for me to keep a wide berth! ;)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Oh man that so sucks!!

I threw up on my daughter's 8th grade field trip to Six Flags. It was like 150 or something that day. Got on the bus and threw up. In a clear bag. Red icee. Poor kid is scarred for life.

T~T said...

look at all the glorious food!!

except the bulls nuts - do you know something funny - I grew up in rural IA and my dad used to pickle those suckers and eat them!

Megan said...

Ok, your sisters socks are hilarious! Very brave of her! :0P

The pics are too cute!! Looks like you guys had fun as usual...until...

Ugh! You poor thing! I don't think I've ever puked on a ride, but I've had my fair share of motion sickness. I just kept thinking you were going to puke while the ride was in full motion. Now THAT would've been fun for all the riders. LMAO!!