Thursday, December 10, 2009

Christmas Lights Aren't the Only Thing Wrapped Around A Pole This Time Of Year

Okay, to prove I am not a complete dreadful mean older sister, I have to give props to the lil sis. Lindee may not know the difference between Pioneers and Pilgrims but she is smart in her own right. She just aced her America History class at Weber State which means she will probably pull off a 4.00 this semester.


She's my sister.


She's also a pro in math and a great math tutor plus she will be starting the nursing program in January so obviously I did something right in raising her. You bet your ass I'm taking credit for her success.


She's my sister.


I blame the whole pilgrim/pioneer thing on my mom.


So yeah, I have a smart sister. Well two smart sisters, Alyse takes after me in the brains department so she is exceptionally smart as well.


Ok wow, now that my head is perfectly elevated above my body, I better deflate and get on with my post...


...So Sunday night Lin, Logan, Dad & I all went to Temple Square to get our frostbit toes stepped on by a Mormon stampede. Our original intention was to go enjoy the Christmas light display but we chose the wrong night to go.



There was some meeting at the conference center which ended right when we arrived so thousands of Mormons piled out of the building and ran us over on their way to see the lights. I only sustained minor injuries.


I was so overwhelmed with all the pure souls surrounding me that when I realized I had fallen on my knees in the shuffle, I felt it only appropriate to bow down before all the goodness. In my jeans and uggs, I obviously did not just come from their top secret meeting, and just for the record, every one of them were absolutely beautiful, but me? I looked like this:



Smokin hot right? As you can see, my goal was to be warm, not to coordinate my outfit. Jennster, you look WAY better in winter clothes than me. Fo Sho.


It was so effing cold and Logan refused to wear his gloves so my dad tried to keep him warm Kangaroo style stuffing him in his coat.







Logan was miserable so we sought shelter in the visitors center where another important meeting had just ended so although we escaped from the cold, we did not escape from all the holiness.





I gave Logan a little tour around all the pioneer crap that they have on display, I wasn't about to let Lindee take him and confuse the poor kid with stories of pilgrims. His favorite display was the train tracks (of course) he loved them! So much so that he just HAD to take a picture. Here is the result.





He's a very accomplished photographer, he took pictures of only the most important parts of the human anatomy, the crotch and the B-hind.



So after our body temperatures had risen efficiently, we went to check out the rest of the lights before we headed to a hippy coffee shop for ice cream and lattes.



Oh yeah, ice cream is perfect any time of the year. I also had my first chai latte which was also delicious (not as delicious as my DHPSL but good none the less).





Ok I have to show off this picture because Logan looks like a GQ model. Check it out.



He's the next Zoolander.


Now in closing, just so you know, feeding ice cream to a 3 year old at 9:30 at night is not a good idea. He had a tad bit too much energy and started workin the pole in the coffee shop.







Oh yeah, he can totally work the pole.


He learned that from his mom, not me.



Yep, definitely not me.

40 comments:

Missy said...

It's not easy being a sinner. No one really understands all the hard work you have to put into. Do they think pole dancing comes naturally to all of us? No, it takes time and practice. I'm proud to see you've started Logan as such a young age.

Justine said...

OMG, last picture cracked me up! That Logan is one miniature hottie!

I'm sorry you were trampled by the Mormons. I'm sure they did it in the nicest way possible though.

And yeah, you just looked completely gross.

Not!

Justine :o )

klynch said...

Love your post and the pictures exp. the last one!!LOL

Courtney said...

Bahahahahahahaha! I think I pulled a muscle in my stomach laughing so hard!

Sara said...

LOL Great post! Was the stripe shirt with polka dot pants butt part of your group? They may need some fashion help... ;)

Logan is adorable! Definite GQ material.

Ya'll need some crochet/knit hats!!!

Heather@WHMB said...

Haha, what a champ. At least he has a fall back plan should his future take a turn. ;)

I love Christmas lights and warm coffee shops, looked like a fun night despite the mormon stampede.

African American Mom said...

Had you not posted that "transgression" yourself it would have come back to bite you in the butt. I assume you are not running for president or planning to date Jon Gosselin. LOL!

It was my fav pic of the post!

glitterbygrammie said...

Love the pictures. The post was funny. The lights are beautiful if you can survive the cold and EVERYTHING else that gets in the way.

Stephanie Faris said...

I think you look GREAT in winter clothes. Are you kidding? You're a hottie. Thanks for taking us along on your adventures. I love blogs like these. I feel like I get a glimpse into other bloggers' lives.

survivinglifedaily said...

That last picture is just too funny!!! Logan is beyond adorable with those bright Blue eyes!

Rebecca Jo said...

I love the view of crotch/butt shots! Perfect holdiay pictures to look back on :) hehe!!!!

YIPEE for hot dad being in the pictures! Been missing seeing him! Does he even know he's a blogger stud? He needs to make a calendar - all the bloggers alone would buy it! :)

Kristina P. said...

I've never even seen a stripper pole in person. I live such a sad life.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

So are you guys like the only people that live in Utah that aren't Mormon?? lol, oh wait, maybe you are..?

Your sister is so pretty and your nephew is ADORABLE!!

blueviolet said...

Your dad and Logan are going to hang out by stripper poles for real one day. It's happening.

Frau said...

Does everyone in your family have such amazing blue eyes! Haven't been to Temple SQuare in years. My fav Starbucks drink is Chai Latte! Yummy! Have a wonderful day keep that boy off the pole !!

Jen said...

Everyone's gotta have a talent, right?

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

OMG! Logan is adorable! Cutest pictures!

Debbi said...

Mormon stampedes?!?! HAHAHAHAHA. You're hilarious.

And don't kid yourself.. when you fell down, they all laughed on the inside and told their children that it was because the devil had you under his power. :)

Mormons are the best, honestly. I totally should be one. lol

And just so you know... um.. your dad is way hot. I'm with above on the calendar idea. mmm.. hot bloggy dad calendar.

Julia said...

What the heck did you torturous ladies have that little boy out in the cold so late for!! 9:30 is way past normal bed time. Naughty naughty...

Where can I find my own kangaroo pouch??? I think I'd like someone to carry me around like that. I guess they'd have to be like 10 feet tall and 400 lbs to accomplish it though.

Wow. I guess this is what Sudafed does to my brain. snuffle snuffle.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Logan does look like a GC model - hanging out with a clown! ;) Though hopefully his pole dancing isn't his dream to become a Chippendales dancer once day... ;)

That last picture totally cracked me up! :)

Santa Claus said...

HO HO HO! Merry Christmas Logan! I know that you have been good because you have such a good Mommy and Daddy!

WhisperingWriter said...

Love this.

And now I want some ice cream.

TMI Tara said...

LOLOLOL love the pole dancin from Mr G-Q himself! Cute pix at the lights. Those damn Mormons. lol!!!

Janalyn and Rob said...

Coffee AND pole dancing. How very un-Mo of you! :)

You all have the most amazingly bright blue eyes...do you alter your photos at all, or are you really all just that blue-y?

jennster said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHA.. you look way better than i do!!! i hate layers. i hate winter clothes. argh. LOL

Pricilla said...

Did any of the holies apologize for knocking you over.

I mean really!

Very cute photos!

yulz said...

hahaha lovely ending :p

KK said...

He's so cute!

Anonymous said...

Just curious as to why you are so prejudice? Why does it even matter? There are A LOT more Mormons in Cali than in Utah. Seems like you have quite the intolerance.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

We took the grandkids down to Temple Square over the Thanksgiving weekend, fortunately, before all this awful cold started. It was just beautiful. My favorite part was all the nativities from different countries over by the church office bldg. Really pretty!

Megan said...

You all still look hot and adorable freezing your asses off! Tell Logan to lay off the sugar though...I have a feeling Mormons don't exactly condone pole dancing. ;0P

Marissa said...

I think people who live in frozen tundras such as Utah can accept the fact that it's cold and live like it's not even an issue - i.e. eating ice cream when it's probably warmer than the temperature outside ;o)

CLUFF FAMILY said...

I love the pics. Miss your cute face and those of your fam!

Grand Pooba said...

In reply to the Anonymous comment above, I just thought I'd explain myself a bit. See, my family is Mormon and very Mormon at that so to say I am prejudice against Mormons is a misunderstanding. I can see how this post in particular may come across as such but I am a very sarcastic person and like to keep things light and somewhat entertaining.

I used to be Mormon myself, married in the Temple and everything so I know the religion well and and respect those that have chosen that lifestyle but it is just not for me. I think if you could get to know me a little better you could tell that I am so kidding when I say anything remotely close to negative about Mormons.

It doesn't matter if you are Mormon or not, I'm sorry if I offended you.

(I'm sure there are definitely more Mormons in California seeing as the population is 13 times the size of Utah's mere 2.7M)

And I am jealous that you live in California.

Synergy Girl said...

You crack me up!!

sanjeet said...

I'm sure they did it in the nicest way possible though.

Work from home India

LadyStyx said...

oh...for sure he didnt get that from you...*laffin*

scrappysue said...

it looks so damn cold! gorgeous lights tho

Alexis AKA MOM said...

LOL so like Cole with sugar. We took them to Fantasy lights it's one you drive threw but the cars were so backed up. So grumpy dad, mom with a headache a hyped up 5 year old and a pushing every button in the car 2 year old made for a fun time!

Pole dancing ... hmmm LOL

kanishk said...

Love your post and the pictures exp. the last one!!LOL

wagyu beef burger