Monday, December 28, 2009

I Was Going to Title This Post "ALOHA", But I Know Some of You Don't Speak Hawaiian. So I Didn't.

We have now safely returned from Hawaii. I wish I could say the same for one certain piece of luggage but that's a whole other story.

Holy Jeebus I don't even know where to start. The Hawaii trip was a Christmas gift from Alex's parents, the whole family went and stayed for a week on Maui. We stayed at a gorgeous house in Lahaina, here are a few photos of the place we stayed.

The view from the house:

This was a trip full of surprises. My mom-in-law surprised us by getting everyone first class tickets for the flight! Not only that but she also gave us all Bose headsets to watch movies and listen to our ipods with. (And I was in desperate need of a new headset, score!)

Now I know why they say "first class is the only way to fly." You don't have to wait in that awful long line to get through security and you get to board the plane first. When you sit down the first thing they do is give you a Mai Tai, and then another, and another. I asked Al if they paid the flight attendants who worked in first class extra because they all were just so happy to help you.


I totally soaked it up because I knew it would be the one and only time I would fly first class. I kind of felt like Jack in Titanic, you know trying to fit in with Rose and all the elite? Only I didn't spit off the side of the boat. Because we weren't on a boat. And well, I don't know how to hock a loogie.

Ok got a little side tracked there, where was I?

Oh yeah, Hawaii. It rocks. I want to live there. Forever.

And Ever.

Cris surprised us again by getting us all lei'd when we stepped off the airplane at 4 in the morning.

You'd think it'd be awkward all getting leid at the same time but it was so late we were all okay with it. (Hey, I know the whole "getting leid" joke has been done many times before but I still think it's funny, and that's all that counts. Sorta. Ok I suck I should have just left it alone but now I've gone on too long and totally ruined the whole joke. Good God will someone just shut me up?)

While at the house, the majority of our time was spent throwing children.

When not throwing children, we were at the beach. On our first day at the beach we were all minding our own business, the kids playing in the water, the girls wading on the shore, and the guys snorkeling in the ocean.

(For the record, Cris was NOT picking her nose. At least that's what she tells me.)

Like I said, minding our own business.

At the time I was laying on my towel reading a book, you know, minding my own business.

So we were all minding our own business, nobody's business but our own, when I see in the corner of my eye some strange old man walking my direction.

In my head I'm thinking, "Please keep walking, please keep walking, please keep walking" but guess what he did?

He kept walking.

No, he didn't keep walking, why would I bring him up if he just walked by? He stopped right next to my towel and said, "Excuse me?"

Annoyed, I look up and see him holding out some coral in one hand and a rolled cigarette in the other. (Identical to some illegal substance that one might roll up and smoke, or cook into brownies. Or so I hear.) He started blabbing to me about how the coral was clean and dry and was already dead so I couldn't get into trouble for taking it home.

He hands it to me and I'm not sure what to do. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I walk over and show the kids the coral, pretending to be fascinated by it, and then I hand it back to Crazy Weed Dude.

He tells me to keep it, I'm like, okay thanks, and I put it on a towel by our stuff.

I expected Crazy Weed Dude to walk away but he doesn't. He approaches me and Rachael mumbling something totally incoherent so we just brush him off and he leaves.

Finally, he's gone!

Oh but he wasn't gone. He walked into the ocean to swim for a bit but stayed near by.

After his little dip in the ocean, he comes back and approaches Rachael again, this time she understands what he says. He asks her if he can use the kids' bucket and she politely says no, the kids are using it. He then explains that the reason he gave us the coral was in exchange for him to use our bucket.

What? Crazy Weed Dude just won't quit and we start thinking that maybe he's trying to distract us while his accomplice steals all of our stuff from the beach. So just to be safe, I walk back to my towel and grab my bag, when I turn back around I see this:

Somehow Crazy Weed Dude managed to get the coveted bucket. We all watched while he taught the kids how to use the sand and water to drip onto the sand castle and make strange looking peaks.

And of course we all stayed close and watched him (and our stuff) like a hawk while he interacted with the kids. We were all just humoring the guy because he clearly wasn't "all there".

About that time we decided to pack up, leaving the crazy son of a bitch by himself.

I left the coral behind, lying on the beach, and I'm sure he used it on some other poor family to get into their bucket too.

When we weren't being accosted on the beach, we were kickin back with Buddha.

(Sorry bad phone pictures)

When we weren't with Buddha, we were getting lei'd (yes, again) at the Luau.

This is Albert's usual face after getting lei'd:

And yes, I am really that white and Alex is really that tan. I hate him.

And while the dancers were doing this:

Ava was doing this:

She is quite the dancer (and no she did not learn this from me, I only teach pole dancing, not Hula Striptease). When Rachael asks Ava if she wants to do dance or gymnastics, Ava says she wants to do "fighting" instead.

Yes, fighting.

And with two older brothers, she has plenty of fighting experience! But she is also such a girly girl. She wanted her toe nails painted almost every day. She'd bring me my nail polish bag and tell me that she needed her toe nails painted again. Of course I was happy to oblige.

(These two pics courtesy of Cris)

I love this girl.

If you're actually still reading this I will now put you out of your misery. Stay tuned for more Hawaii including magic tricks on a boat, sharks, sea turtles & a 5 foot 10 inch praying mantis!

And best of all, Albert's awesome fishy face.

You DO NOT wanna miss that. Promise.


Kristina P. said...

Best family trip ever. My family is poor and we don't like each other all that much. Hawaii will never happen for us.

Rebecca Jo said...

OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS!!! Now thats what you call a family trip! And I dont mean trip, as in weird creepy stoner dude on the beach! How funny was he????

Beautiful pictures...

And nope, the Lei'd jokes never get old to me either!

Sara said...

Amazing!!! Love the pictures! I do want to know how to do hair like Ava's in the last picture. That is adorable!!! Sounds like an amazing trip. :D

foxy said...

How excellent... Hawaii for Christmas. What a great gift!

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

Sweet! I LOVE first class! Can I have your in-laws? That's an awesome Christmas gift!

otin said...

Good God! I want to go there!

The Lei'd joke will never get old for me! I am so juvenile. I have posted a rooster on my blog 5 times just so I can squeeze the word cock in there every once in a while! Hmm, maybe that was a bad way to phrase that! hahahaha!

Welcome back!

Kasey Hunt said...

Great pictures. I would have been creeped out by that guy too.

Queenie Jeannie said...

It's just not fair!!! You can't all be gorgeous, AND loving, AND rich, AND have such fabulous lives, AND go on such fabulous trip, first class.


But sounds like a lot of fun!

WhisperingWriter said...

Can I be a part of your family? I mean a trip to Hawaii? And first CLASS? I am so jealous. My husband would be jealous. He's aching to go to Hawaii and see Pearl Harbor.

I love your pictures by the way. Everything is always so crisp and clear. Do you have a Canon?

Brian Miller said...

wow. judging by the pics you had an amazing time...i chuckled a few times at Crazy Weed Dude...yikes! the view...amazing...such blue sky...welcome back.

Janean said...

yes, Christmas in paradise must've been tough -- okay so the one freaky guy with gross hair WAS icky-ewww, but sun and surf...ahhhh. :)

Rebecca said...


How do the man and I get into your family? ;)

Melissa said...

How do I get a mother in law like yours?! The trip looked so fun!!

Lee said...

Can you guys adopt me?

Michelle said...

I totally agree with Kristina.. My husband married up (which he openly admits) and even if my family got it together enough to attempt such an awesome trip we would end up killing each other off... SO jealous of you! Great pics, can't wait to see more.

Bethany aka Missy said...

I'm disturbed that even the children got lei'd. (I still like this joke. It's my inner preteen)

Also, I think you got back at Alex for being tanner then you by posting his O face. Well played.

Jason, as himself said...

That does it. Somehow, some way, I am going to marry myself into Alex's family.

And Alex's lei'd face? Kinda makes me horny.

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Holy Moly ... For Pete's Sake that is one heck of a gift. I only been in First Class once, it was a screw up on my ticket and I swear they knew I wasn't one of them ... no special treatment here ... :)

Beautiful pictures and Ava is so rocking the hula dance! Always learn to fight with older brothers ... LOL :)

TMI Tara said...

I am 50% happy for you and 50% jealous. I laughed, I cried (of jealousy) and I looooved Ava's dress when she was imitating the belly dancers. So cute :)

Can't wait for the fishy face pix!

p.s. The "getting leid" joke never gets old. But please do NOT tell me you went to Hawaii and "got Maui'd" because then I might vomit in my mouth a little. Frills.

Weeksie50 said...

love love love your almost title.. Ha Ha..

and the little one dancing is so cute and funny!

The pictures were wonderful!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

What a fabulous vacation. Beautiful Hawaii and First Class aside, it sounds like you had such an awesome time with your family and that's what's so wonderful about a great trip like that. You are a lucky, lucky girl!

scrappysue said...

can i come and live in hawaii with you too?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Holy Cow, woman! I knew Cris was the most awesome MIL ever, but this just takes the cake! :) That is the best Christmas Surprise Trip ever! Thanks for letting us live vicariously through you!

And I'm so looking forward to seeing Albert's fish face... ;)

dani said...

Holy Fun! You are so silly Kel.

Debbie said...

I did read the whole thing! I am green with envy.
What a great trip.

Justine said...

Oh man, this was hysterical and fun!!!! I went to Maui on my honeymoon and know just how great it is. There's a restaurant there that we totally loved and now I can't remember the name of it. Had the BEST salad you've ever tasted.

Was that the Old Lahaina Cafe luau? That's the best.

OMG, all these kids are so gorgeous. Who did your niece's hair in that awesome front twist? Love it!

Btw... in one of your beach pictures you forgot to point out (or you somehow missed it) that you took a picture of someone bending over!

Justine :o )

Silkman's said...

Thanks Kel for taking and posting a picture of my fat butt!!! I am going to have to start hiding from you when you have your camera in your hand:) Just kidding I still love ya.

Christine Macdonald said...

Hey there happy I found this site and to think, the first post I read makes me miss home. Ahhh.

Happy you had a gret trip!!! I'm following you now and will be back for sure!



Wifey said...

OMG, that place is gorgeous. And all that getting lei'd must've been fun. Oh, and can I marry into your family? First class trips! Wow!

Wink & Smiles,

The Green Family said...

So glad you had a good time! We did a family trip there two years ago and stayed in Kihei. There was 19 of us, including 3 two year olds!! Yes ~ we are INSANE!

Can't wait to see the rest of the pic's.

Xazmin said...

Sounds like an amazing trip! Crazy weed dude and all! Glad you had a good Christmas!

FrancoB. said...

GURL you need to work on that tan ASAP.
OMG Ava knows how to get down, party girl on the making, I predict it.
lovely pictures!!!!
this made me laugh so hard

Mom Taxi Julie said...

What do I have to do to get adopted into the fam? My in laws idea of doing something fancy for Christmas is smoking outside...

yulz said...

Mom Taxi Julie . . please..if Pooba did told you the way, do share it with me hahaha

What a fun family :D they're always having great vacations together.

Can't wait for the next post and the pictures *winks*

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. How FUN!!!

And Ava dancing, hahahaha!

The leid joke was not lost on me, promise.

Creepy beach guy, uh....yeah...CrEePy...

Ms. Wanda said...

Ok, I'm actually jeolous, the view was fabulous. I love the old man and your pic's are great! Oh and your hubby, HOT! What an amazing gift!!!

Happy New Year Pooba:)

Anonymous said...

What an awesome family trip!! I am so jealous! And Ava is just adorable!

Nana said...

Oh, I love your pictures. It looks like you had a total blast!! Crazy Weed Dude kept hanging around because he knew you were drunk and liked to get lei'd. DUH!!!!!!

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

I thought my pecs were lacking BEFORE reading this post. Now I feel like a 7-year-old. Criminy!


Frogs in my formula said...

I'm so jealous of your sun and fun I had to pour myself a glass of wine and cry. That trips looks amazing, Crazy Weed Dude and all...

glitterbygrammie said...

I know I am a little behind in my blog reading. But your story was awesome and I am looking forward to more of your vacation.
Happy New Year.

JennyMac said...

Did you teach Ava all her moves?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Happy New Year, Sis! ;)

Blog Buddy said...

*Looks like a total blast Pooba! -and I forgot to say, "Kennecott Mines"...(place of employment:)

{Happy New Year Sista'}

Karin Katherine said...

Great photos, weird stories...and I love that hairstyle that Ava is rocking in the last picture!

kanishk said...

I dont mean trip, as in weird creepy stoner dude on the beach! How funny was he

wagyu kobe beef

blueviolet said...

I am so jealous of your Hawaii trip! That's the way to spend the holidays!

Happy New Year!

Kristin said...

So much fabulosity in one post. Crazy weed dude made me spit out my coffee. And that little dancing diva is soooooooooooooo precious. Happy new year lady!!

ChicagoLady said...

Everywhere I turn people are going to Hawaii! I want to go back so bad, and live in a grass hut on the beach. Wouldn't that be the coolest life ever? Ok no it wouldn't, but I would never ever ever be cold again!

Jeanne said...


Wow!! Those are some gorgeous Hawaii pictures!!

The place you stayed at looks like something straight out of a movie.

The view from the house is spectacular!

It sounds like you had all sorts of surprises!

I don't know Cris but I, for one, will take her word for it. Didn't you ever see that Seinfeld episode where a scratch was mistaken for a pick because of the angle of the person viewing the person doing a scratch in the next cab over (or something like that)? Give poor Cris a break. :)

I've never seen pigtails that were criss-crossed like that in front. That looks so cute!

It looks like you had a wonderful trip. That's awesome!!


Shandal said...

Amazing family pics! All of them were amazing! I thought the crazy weed dude was going to build one of those really cool sand sculptures for you, but nope, he's just weird. lol

jennster said...

these pictures are INCREDIBLE! the contrast and clarity and colors.. SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! love everything. and yes, jealous you were in maui. bitch.
love your MIL.. how generous and kind and thoughtful and ROCKIN! tell her i like trips to hawaii too, thanks. your husband's family is hot. lol

Nishant said...

Amazing!!! Love the pictures! I do want to know how to do hair like Ava's in the last picture. That is adorable!!! Sounds like an amazing trip.

Work from home India

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I am so stinking jealous!

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