No Matter What . . .

The Beer Fest in Idaho was exactly how I imagined it.  A bunch of unattractive people stumbling around with only one goal in mind: 

Drink As Much Beer As You Possibly Can.

No Matter What!

No matter if you can no longer see, let alone walk straight.

No matter if you've puked up all the beer and pretzels you've eaten. That just gives you room for more beer.

No matter if the port-a-potty has become your permanent residence.

No matter if you've lost your beer cup, I'm sure there are plenty in the trash can you can dig out.

No matter if you have already passed out on the grass, someone should be making sure your cup is full.

No matter if you are so drunk that you start posing in other people's photographs.

(We still have no idea who that bald dude is in the back)

No matter if you feel like you must hold onto the grass in order not to fall off the earth.

No matter if every person you see has an exact twin.

 

(Ok, check out how creepy Lin's zombie hand is. Her hand looks dead!)

No matter if you can't win an argument you've been having with that tent pole all day.

No matter if the beer cup keeps missing your mouth.

And especially no matter if you're not as think you drunk I am! 

(From left to right:  Shauna's mom's beer, Shauna's mom, Lin, Shauna's beer, Shauna, Lindee's beer, my beer, and me!)

  

(Lindee's hand looking a little less zombie-ish)

But seriously.  Good effin times yo!  People are insane when there is all-you-can-drink beer at stake!  At some point during the day, Mike and I were standing under the tent when I felt someone grab my butt.  As soon as I turn around to see who it was I get a nice hard squeeze to the boob!  I look up and there is this chick standing there smiling and not wasting one other second, she does the same to Mike!

Yeah, we both got groped by the same chick.  Apparently she had made it her goal to grab 300 booties and 600 boobies that day.

Hey, who are we to stand in her way?

After the fest was over, the wait for the bus back to the hotel was taking forever so we stuffed ourselves in a cab with a bunch of other drunks.  And of course Mike just happens to know these people in the cab.  I swear he knows someone EVERYWHERE we go!

(Cab ride back to the hotel)

After everyone had a much needed nap, we headed to dinner.

The weekend turned out great. (Much better than a stupid graduation ceremony!)  It was me & Mike, Lin & Lance, and below is Lin's bro- and sis-in-law:

And for some reason whenever there is drinking involved, I tend to start force feeding those around me.  If you scroll up a bit, you will find a similar picture with me feeding Mike...

 But she loves it.

And we'll definitely be going back next year!

Stick a Pin in that Shit!

This past weekend was a blast!  But before I get to the fun part of my weekend, here's a bit of the boring part....

My graduation pinning ceremony. 

What's a pinning ceremony you ask?  I have no idea but I went.   

And I got pinned. 

With this.

 

What is this pin for you ask? I have no idea, but I think that wearing the pin actually makes you stupider (See?  I don't even use real words now!).

Mike decided to actually pin the stupid thing on me and ever since, my brain has the dumb. Or maybe it was just because I was sitting next to Lindee.

Her blondness could have somehow floated out her ear and settled into my brain.  I'm better now, but didn't want to take any chances so I gave my pin to Mr. Moose the Miner here. 

He's an accountant too.  Obviously.

Anyway.....oh yes, this pinning ceremony.... 

I graduated in December but of course they only have one ceremony a year for all graduates which is why I am just now getting pinned.  I have to say, a graduation pinning ceremony is ten times better than a regular cap and gown graduation ceremony.  Pretty sure they don't serve wine during the comencement!

Which you think would be the reason why I skipped out on going to my cap and gown ceremony the next day but no, I had more important things to do. 

Yes, a much more significant event required my attendance ...

 

 

BEER FEST! !

... More to come ...

Mean Face

Why must he always pose with the mean face?

 

I love the shit outta that mean face!

Chopped

Something else that happened.





I chopped my hair....What?


No, not really, SHE chopped my hair. Oh how I love SHE!

"The One"

My baby sis has had some absolutely brilliant ideas for her wedding. You only get married once *wink*wink* so she should have her way right? Here are just two examples of this bride's ideas:


1. "Lets have the wedding and reception at Classic Skating! We can rent out the whole place and everyone can wear roller skates and play games!"


*cough*cough*


2. "I want to make my wedding dress entirely out of coffee filters!"


*ahem*


Thank God I was put on this earth to be her wedding planner and have vetoed every single one of her brilliant ideas.


She would be lost with out me...


So I grabbed her long fricken ponytail and dragged her wedding dress shopping. Something every bride has been dying to do since the day she played Barbie-marries-Ken-and-has-naked-baby-making-time-in-the-bedroom. Right?


I was determined to beat this anti-bride attitude out of her for good. She was loving it...





That dress above was my mom's favorite. I wasn't a fan of the whole side-swiping-into-the-flower-on-her-hip look.





This one would be beautiful if I could rip off that awkward looking fabric gathered under her boobs.





I was giddy when she started trying on the mermaid style wedding dresses. She has the perfect body for it: tall, skinny & curvy.








Is that a smile I see? My plan was working, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, she was getting more excited with each dress.





I wish these pictures could do her justice, but the only camera I had was my cell phone which has a tendency to turn anything gorgeous into some dark looking creature so the fact that she doesn't look like a gremlin in these photos goes to show how amazing she looked in real life!





Now this next one was her favorite from the first store we went to.





Again, the pictures do not do her justice, she looked gorgeous!





Now I about died when she tried this next one on and said she thought it was "The One".





I distinctly remember trying to swallow the lunch that I had just regurgitated in my mouth before trying to speak. I'm sorry, but this just looked cheap. Or maybe it's the whole side swipe look I didn't like.


No, it's because it looked cheap. There was no way in hell I was letting her walk out with that one.


No way.



Now this next one was MY favorite. I still can't get over the back of the dress, I wanted to die. Or rip it off her body and wear it out the door...





Isn't that gorgeous??


I'm sure you all want to know which dress she picked right? Well, it was none of the above and sadly I don't have a picture of her actually wearing the dress she picked, but I can tell you she chose the perfect dress! And by the way she was holding back her tears when she saw herself in the mirror, you could tell she had no doubt she had found

"The One"




So what's your favorite?

Look Who Got a Haircut!

Before....






After...





When I picked Gus up from the groomer, this is what he originally looked like:




WTF?


For some reason the groomer decided to shave everywhere BUT his head.


I was so mad! So mad that when I got Gus into the car and we drove away, I burst into tears.


Not even kidding. What did they do to Mike's MY boy?!


Mike took him back the next morning and the groomer fixed him up.


(Yes that is a dog and his penis sitting on my kitchen counter. What?)


(And by penis I mean Gus's penis, not Mike. I was not referring to Mike. As a penis...Not a penis)


All is good now, he's loving his new summer do and when we go to tanner park everyone thinks he's a brand new puppy.





Weird.

How to Pose For the Perfect Photograph

1. Make sure you look directly at the camera.





2. Hold your pose perfectly. Concentration is key, try not to make any sudden movements.





3. Make sure you hold the perfect smile as long as possible, don't be afraid to show your teeth.





4. Keep your eyes open!





5. Be aware of your hands, keep your hands to your sides as to avoid any awkward positioning. You don't want your hands to be the focus of the photo.





6. Be careful of the position of your head, you don't want to get a complete profile shot.





7. Make sure your hair and makeup are flawless, the worst thing you can do is have a photograph with your hair hiding your face.





8. Don't forget to act natural!

Butter Luck Next Time

It kind of just hit me that I have steppies. Yeah, I've got 2 sister steppies and 2 brother steppies.


Weird.


I've never had step siblings before, I'm only hoping this means more Christmas presents for me.


Me, and the hungry children of course. (I always think of the hungry children first.)


But, I think I like having steppies because it also means more weddings!




This is one of my new steppies Katie, she just got married isn't she gorgeous?






I loved her colors!





Never mind that her wedding was a month ago and I'm just barely posting about it....I haven't even posted about Easter yet! Fine, here's Katie and her new hubby on Easter:




You can tell they were made for each other.




The wedding was gorgeous, it was a beautiful day!






Everyone knows that I'm Logan's favorite but now I've got competition.




BIG competition.








Mike has been moving up in the ranks in Logan's opinion, but I'm destined to stay on top. This means war!






Ok, you may be wondering why I included a picture of the butter from our table at the wedding luncheon. Yes, the butter was great, one regular one raspberry, but that is not the reason why I took a picture.


I took a picture of the butter because of this girl:




She is constantly making me laugh....at her. So there we were, sitting at our table waiting for our food to be served and the servers come out and put the butter on the table first.


No rolls. No salad. Just butter.


As we continued to wait for the bride and groom I could see Lindee's face getting worried. I could tell she was really concerned. She continued to grow more and more anxious until she finally blurted out:


"I don't know why they brought out the ice cream before dinner, it's going to melt!"





And of course the table busted up laughing. Even the two strangers sitting at our table busted up.


I stupidly corrected her and told her it was butter, which I immediately regretted doing when Mike suggested that she eat it.


But it was too late, I had already opened my big mouth. After being with Mike for so long now I should have learned to keep my mouth shut and let her eat the butter.


Butter luck next time.