Fashion Forward . . . . And Back

Just realized that my shirt, shoes AND my underwear all match.  That's right,


I. Am. Awesome.


If you're looking for any fashion tips or just wondering "How does she do it?"  just let me know, I'll share all my secrets with you.  Here are just a few:

• Stay out until 2 AM the night before
• Wake up 15 minutes before work
• Run into the bed post 2 1/2 times
• Trip over the cat on your way out of the shower
• Get dressed in the dark

If you follow these simple steps then maybe, just maybe, you can be as fashionable as me.


Maybe.

My Closet Has A Muffin Top

Watch out Salt Lake City, the streets are going to become one fashion disaster after another.


I donated all my clothes to the homeless.


I've never prided myself in my fashion sense, in fact I consider myself quite the opposite of fashion savvy so get out your cameras this is going to be a sight to see.


Me and the homeless go way back so I'm sure I'll run into someone wearing my outfit asking me for change and I'll have to apologize to them right away.


"I. AM. SO. SORRY. The fashion God's totally gypped me when bestowing their blessings, I know not what I do. But at least you're warm right?"


So this is my official apology and warning to all the people, dogs, and cats of Salt Lake City. You have been warned.




It was a big weekend for me. It was about time that I downsized our closets, they were bustin at the seams, sportin a muffin top and everything. I was so stoked to organize all of our clothes, a threw out any pack rat essence left in me and totally purged the closets.






Total Weight loss? 200,450.25 pounds. (Or somewhere close to that)



This is just the first stage in project closet organization. My goal was to get rid of all my old shit (because that's exactly what it was) that I don't wear anymore, get dividers for my dresser drawers, and rid my life of wire hangers.




(I am so in love with my new hangers)


A place for everything and everything in it's place.


I had to physically restrain myself from making a list of every single item we owned and categorizing and cross referencing them into files so that I would have documentation of every item we sent to the homeless shelter, every item we sent to the D.I., and every item we kept.



It was rough.



I did however categorized the bags so that I knew which ones went where.






Dozer was more than skeptical.






Ok, now for the before and after.


This is my closet before step one of Project Closet Organization. Remember step one is just focusing on the clothes so please ignore the junk on the shelves, those will come later.





Notice my cloth shelf barely hanging on for it's dear life? It fell to it's death a few seconds later. It is now resting peacefully in the landfill.


Okay, so here is the after photo:





I love my hangers.





Joan Crawford eat your heart out.







See what a big difference such a little change can make? All I did was get rid of some clothes, moved all my summer clothes to our storage closet and changed hangers.


Did I tell you I love my new hangers?


Oh man, if I wasn't married...*starting to day dream about marrying my hangers*....Well, now that I think of it, if Utah won't even let my gays get married, I doubt they'd allow me to marry my hangers, and I'm pretty sure polyandry is illegal anyway.


Wow. Am I seriously talking about marrying my hangers?


Ok moving on...


Now for Albert's closet. Sorry I didn't get a before picture of Al's closet, but it was CA-RAMMED!


But not anymore!






If you're not salivating right now, there is something seriously wrong with you.


Now as much as I WANTED to take a picture of my underwear drawer and post it on the internet, I thought maybe, just maybe, that wouldn't be the brightest of ideas so I'll just show you an example of what it looks like:




*applause* (Because I know you're all applauding right now)


*taking a bow while the crowd goes wild*


"I'd like to thank my mentor, Karin Katherine, for inspiration and resources, I'd like to thank my husband for letting me empty our wallets on "just silly" hangers, I'd like to thank Real Simple for their brilliant closet organization products, and last but not least I'd like to thank Gin & Tonic for the lovely celebration party."

Apparently I'm Mr. Rogers

I arrived home from work yesterday, like I do every day. Albert had beaten me home and was already standing in the kitchen reading the mail. As I set my purse down on the counter I noticed his shirt was unbuttoned and his wife beater was showing.


"Is that how you dressed for work today?" I asked.


"Yes. I'm very manly." He replied in his deep manly voice.


"You need to get rid of that wife beater to show off what little chest hair you have and maybe add a few gold chains." I smirked as I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him hello.


Just a regular day in the life. And just like every other day of the week we went to change out of our work clothes.


(I just realized that it sounds like this is leading to sex, but don't worry, that is not the point I am getting at. Please proceed.)


I change from my work attire into my home attire which includes a change of underwear. Alex notices what I'm doing and he looks at me as he is hanging up his shirt.


"You are like Mr. Rogers except with underwear." He claims.


"What?" I look at him in disbelief.


"Every day you come home and change out of your underwear into a new pair just like Mr. Rogers changes his sweaters!" He's now laughing at me wearing only his boxers and wife beater.


"I am NOT Mr. Rogers!" I demand.


(See, no sex is happenin here. Mr. Rogers isn't exactly a turn on.)


Ok, let me explain. I have different underwear that I wear for different things throughout my day. For work I have to wear a thong so that there are no panty lines in my work pants and skirts. Completely understandable right?



For home, I want to be comfy so I change out of the thong into a regular pair. Who wants to have wedgie all day long?


Well besides Lady Gaga.


Then I go to the gym. When I get home from the gym I change again. You don't want to spend the rest of the day in your gym clothes right? So I change my underwear too, which is now my third pair of the day.


Is that so wrong?


And obviously Albert has never watched Mr. Rogers otherwise he would know that he only changes his sweater once, not twice.


So you see, I'm not like Mr. Rogers AT ALL.


Fricken Bert!