Singular

What up Mother Effahs!!!??


*Cough*Cough*


Hi Booger face.


That was singular, booger face.


No booger faces here, there's nothing plural when it comes to readers of this poor excuse of a blog.


Hi mom.


Who am I kidding, my mom doesn't read my blog. Which is why I thought it's time to dust off the cobwebs, open the windows and get some action up in hee-ah!


A ton of shit has gone down and I'm sure I have a lot to say but right now I just wanted to introduce you to someone:





My brand new darling tiny-toed nephew!


Put your legs up against the bathroom stalls and brace yourself folks, you're about to experience cuteness overload.







Liam Cole was born February 11th. He was 8 days early which couldn't be early enough!


It's so hard to believe that this:





Came out of this:





Right? Some human being just crawled out of my sister's belly all wiggly, snuggly and tearin people's hearts out of their chest and shit.


Child birth is crazy.





And like the best thing ever.


And seriously? Seriously Liam, what's with all the hair? You've got more hair than me.





I've been sick but I couldn't let that keep me & Mike away from this little heart breaker!







Stay with me folks, I know you're feelin the buz right now.







Hello? Hair?




Okay, now that you are totally drunk on infant adorableness my job here is done.





Don't drive drunk and shit.

Nuts

The wait is finally over, if you haven't guessed yet, my sister is the one who is preggers!

And we finally found out on Saturday that she is having two balls and a penis!!

I guess there's a head and arms and all that other shit too.


I'm so excited to get another one of these:

Thank God for reproductive siblings.

Butter Luck Next Time

It kind of just hit me that I have steppies. Yeah, I've got 2 sister steppies and 2 brother steppies.


Weird.


I've never had step siblings before, I'm only hoping this means more Christmas presents for me.


Me, and the hungry children of course. (I always think of the hungry children first.)


But, I think I like having steppies because it also means more weddings!




This is one of my new steppies Katie, she just got married isn't she gorgeous?






I loved her colors!





Never mind that her wedding was a month ago and I'm just barely posting about it....I haven't even posted about Easter yet! Fine, here's Katie and her new hubby on Easter:




You can tell they were made for each other.




The wedding was gorgeous, it was a beautiful day!






Everyone knows that I'm Logan's favorite but now I've got competition.




BIG competition.








Mike has been moving up in the ranks in Logan's opinion, but I'm destined to stay on top. This means war!






Ok, you may be wondering why I included a picture of the butter from our table at the wedding luncheon. Yes, the butter was great, one regular one raspberry, but that is not the reason why I took a picture.


I took a picture of the butter because of this girl:




She is constantly making me laugh....at her. So there we were, sitting at our table waiting for our food to be served and the servers come out and put the butter on the table first.


No rolls. No salad. Just butter.


As we continued to wait for the bride and groom I could see Lindee's face getting worried. I could tell she was really concerned. She continued to grow more and more anxious until she finally blurted out:


"I don't know why they brought out the ice cream before dinner, it's going to melt!"





And of course the table busted up laughing. Even the two strangers sitting at our table busted up.


I stupidly corrected her and told her it was butter, which I immediately regretted doing when Mike suggested that she eat it.


But it was too late, I had already opened my big mouth. After being with Mike for so long now I should have learned to keep my mouth shut and let her eat the butter.


Butter luck next time.

Baby Jesus Christ Amen

Okay this kid is fricken hilarious. He has decided to become a kitty. Not just any kitty, but a kitty super model.





Yeah, this kids goin far. You should see him on the cat walk! (Bad joke? Whatever, you laughed.)



Why Logan (My neph) makes me laugh:


1. My mom "(Logan's Grandma) taught him how to say a prayer. A Mormon prayer usually ends in "I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen", however Logan misinterpreted this and now every time he prays, he ends with:

"Baby Jesus Christ Amen"

How darling is that? Yeah, my mom says there is no way she is going to correct him, it's just too cute!



2. One night Logan asked Lindee (his mom) if he could watch Sponge Bob and Lindee said no because it was bedtime. His reply:

"I can't watch Sponge Bob?! My life is falling apart!"






3. Lindee was teaching Logan that water was really good for him and that it made his skin nice and strong.

He then said "Oh, so my blood doesn't come out?"

Lindee laughed and replied "sure".

Later a friend asked Logan if he wanted a coke and he replied:

"No thanks, that will make me bleed."



4. Lindee asked Logan if he wanted some milk and of course he said no because he didn't want his blood to come out. Lindee then replied that milk makes your bones nice and strong.

Logan replied: "Oh, so my bones won't break and I won't need an x-ray?"

She's still working on the whole bleeding thing...




5. The following dialogue between Lindee and Logan:

Lindee: We sure have a lot of candy!

Logan: Candy! Really?! That sure gets my heart fixed!






And I say these things Baby Jesus Christ Amen.

BINGO!

I babysat Logan over the weekend which of course is always an adventure. I was especially excited to tend him because I had a special surprise:

It's my fellow tall amazon woman's first children's book.

Bingo's Big Adventure

By Julia King

I had no doubt that he was going to love it. The kid loves kitties as evidenced by his own epiphany:


"I love kitties my whole life!"

So dang cute.


So we read the book together Saturday night.  (Never mind, Julia, that it was at 11:00 at night.  I also fed him ice cream while we later watched Silence of the Lambs.   What?  He loves sheep.)


As soon as we finished the book, and as I went to the computer to email Julia to tell her how much I loved it, Logan said,


"Let's read the kitty book again!"


So we did.  About 5 more times.


The book is about a cat named Bingo who goes outside his owner's house for the first time and tells of all the adventures he has.  From run-ins with roosters, chickens & other cats, Bingo explores his beautiful new home.

If you've ever read Julia's blog, you know she has a way with words that is naturally poetic. This book is no different. The photography is amazing and it was all done by Julia herself.  You can tell how much time and love she has invested in this book which she dedicates to her children.

The true judge of a children's book is of course a child and according to Logan, it passed with flying colors.


I wanted to keep the book at my house to read to him whenever he came over but he insisted he take the kitty book with him and because I'm like the best aunt in the world, I let him. (That along with a six pack of bud light.  It's his favorite, and less calories than the original.  Lindee, you can thank me later.)


I'm going to buy another copy for Brolan who also loves kitties as he has three of his own!

If you want to add Bingo's Big Adventure to your library, it is available on Amazon (Books are temporarily out of stock but more are coming) or just go to Bingo's website and click on the Pay Pal option:

http://www.bingoadventures.com/

Gaurdian Angel Effusion

Oh my God.


I got home the other night to a cute little package sitting on my doorstep. If you're like me, getting a package in the mail is the most exciting thing ever. Well, not quite as exciting as reconciling my bank account but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who likes to do that.


Little did I know that this package would make me burst into tears. One of my absolute favorite bloggy sisters, Stacy (You know, The Random Chick) was so thoughtful and sent me this:





Here is a closer look,





It is a bottle of her famous Liquor del Cafe with a custom made label with my two angels displayed on front. I had no idea she was doing this, she did this all on her own! She designed the label and everything. I am going to keep that bottle forever. (Empty of course, nobody can resist her homemade Kaluha!)


Stacy, like many of you, knows what it feels like to lose a furry child. She lost her best friend, Elvis about 3 years ago. He was with her for 13 years and saw her through many rough times.


Stacy, you have no idea how much that meant to me! I really can't thank you enough. I also want to thank all of you for your kind words and emails about Dozer, it helps just to know that there are others who understand.


Justine, who just lost her darling Stinky, Julia who lost her Schmobie not long ago, Blue Violet who is the most kindhearted person I know, Karin Katherine who truly lives up to her name, KK who I know is always there to talk to, Dellany who is the biggest pet lover I know, Queenie Jeannie and The Bella who always make me smile, my two sister-in-laws who sent me flowers, and the countless others who have shared their stories with me.


Thank you De for the card and the converstions, you are the bestest friend ever!


Thank you Andrea for all the much needed girl's nights and for letting me spill it all in your "counseling chair".


And a big thank you to my lil sis and little Logan who have become my life line.


After Dozer died, we had a paw print made to remember him by. We did the same thing a couple years ago after Bain died. Well, I got the paw print just yesterday, look at this cute paw!





It's funny how you can tell who's paw is who's. Dozer was tall and skinny:







And Bain was just huge all around:






I'm so glad Alex had these made for us to remember our big boys by.


Okay, okay, you're probably sick of hearing about my fricken cute dogs, this is that last time you'll have to read about them.


But I'm not making any promises.