This.

So this:





Decided he wanted this:





So he bought her this:





And she gave him this:





(Her hand, not the ring.)



And now they are going to do this:





This:






And this:






ALL. THE. TIME.






(In case you didn't follow all that, my baby sis is gettin married!)

There Will Be No Crotch Watching Here

So remember like a month ago when I officially turned one year older? Yeah, well I finally have all the pictures from the little family get together downloaded. Only one month late. Whatev.


I know we have a lot of these little get togethers (or so Nikki tell's me) so I'm sure you're all sick of looking at them, but if you can make it through, there will be a special surprise for you this time.


Oh yeah, you're in for a treat.



How bout we start with the best part, family bonding.


Bonding? Phfsssh! Yeah right, I'm talking about presents!


This is a platter my dad gave me that matches my new place, it's beautiful and is sitting on my kitchen table right now!
(Notice cute lil Brolan on the very right hand side. He is constantly going, going, going. Trying to get him to stay still to take a picture is like a girl trying to pee in a urinal, it ain't easy!)


This is my "Awwwwwwwwwww" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-you-gave-me-my-absolute-favorite-coffee-shop-gift-card-Beans-and-Brews-chai-here-we-come!" face. Thanks Lin for help feeding my addiction.

And thanks to everyone else for all the money!!! I like money. Alot.


Now, this is my "Ooooooooh" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-I-have-to-wear-these-shoes-with-no-heal-because-I-no-longer-have-a-six-foot-five-dude-to-stand-next-to-anymore-where's-my-stilettos?" face.

Of course Logan cheered me up, he doesn't care how tall I am. He said he loves me as long as I keep buying his favorite beer and popsicles.


Awwwwww, thanks Logie!


And the on lookers were having such a good time watching me open my gifts. Seriously, I must be pretty entertaining. (Never mind the fact that they were all looking at Brolan at the time...)




Do these pics look familiar? Yeah, this is when the infamous dog pile took place. And yes, my brother's face does not change. Ever.

If you happen to scroll back up through the previous pics, you'll see what a dynamic guy he is. He's a riot.


Now for the second best part: The cake.





And by The cake, I mean

"MMMMMMMMM....CAKE....AUUUUGGGHHHH"





Okay, you've suffered enough. Now on to that treat I promised you. I believe a little explanation is in order first.





So you know my mom is getting married so she has put our house up for sale. I say "our" house because even though I haven't lived there for over ten years, it's my home. We all feel that way so this is very sad for all of us.


Sigh.


Deep breath.


So anyway, my mom has been going through all of the crap that has accumulated over the last 25 years in the house and asked us to go through a few things to see if we wanted to keep them or throw them out.


Well, I am a sentimental girl. (Insert Wicked's "A Sentimental Man" background music) And I found one of my old dance costumes. (The only one that wasn't shred to pieces that is, stupid little sisters!) And since I've started recycling (because I heard it's sexy) I thought to myself, I bet I can get some good use out of this old thing!


So....I guess that sort of explains what's going on in these next pics. Sort of.


And the only reason I have decided to post these pics is because sweet Lindee has already pasted them all over facebook. (However she was kind enough to keep the crotch and butt shots out.)


And no, I am not posting the crotch shots that my lovely photographer was able to capture in the following fashion shoot.


(Not that I have anything against crotches. I love looking at crotches. Just not my own.)

































Don't you think this would be an awesome outfit to go dancing in? I thought so too.



Now I could tell that everyone else was a little jealous of my new find so I decided I'd let them have a go. First was Logan. (His dad is going to kill me for these pics! If you don't hear from me again, I am probably dead. Please send money in lieu of flowers, thanks.)



Doesn't he make the cutest bride?




I could tell my dad was getting sad that he didn't have a turn so I was like, "Fine whatever you can try it on too, just don't stretch it out bitch."




He just needed a little help is all...




And look at the beautiful bride! Everyone ready? 1 - 2 - 3 "AWWWWWWW!"




And while all this was going on, this was my sister in law's face:


"What the hell did I get married into?"




(I'm just randomly throwing in this picture because I think it turned out pretty cool.)



Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan!



We are all so mature. So the rest of the time was spent doing the usual family activities like hand stand contests.





Of which I clearly kicked ass.




Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan! (Maybe peeing in a urinal isn't so hard after all.)




And of course anytime anyone pays attention to Brolan, Logan starts to steal the show. So he decided to get his groove on.




Kid's got talent.


Must have come from his dad's side cuz it sure as hell didn't come from his mom.






Just sayin.





And before the sun went down, we had to make sure we got one more good dog pile in.





Logan was a little slow at joining in.




Okay, well if you've made it this far and have survived all the pictures I'll give you one more treat.







Meet Cleave:




(You thought I'd actually post a crotch shot on the Internet?)


(You're right I would. If it was Lindee's.)

Can't Get More Fabulous Than That

Hey guys, I am not quite found yet but I just had to give you a little sneak peak of my journey. Let me introduce you to.........

























The FABulous Pink Paparazzi Pair!




(Otherwise know as Dad and Jewels.)

How To Lose 10 Pounds In One Day

First I just want to thank everybody for your kind words and sympathies about losing Dozer. You guys really have helped me deal. It makes me happy to think that he and his brother Bain are now running around together in heaven causin mischief. Dang cuties!





I'm also thankful I still have my darling gay kitties that make me smile every day.







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




My sister has found a great weight loss plan, she lost 10 pounds in one day!


ONE. DAY.


Don't believe me? Check it out, here is Lindee before:







And here she is after:






How did she do it?


She cut off a FOOT of her massive mane of thick luscious locks! If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Lindee in person, you can't really appreciate how THICK her hair is. It's ridiculous. Her hair was down to her butt at the age of two. I fricken hate her.





But she is fricken cute. She's America's next top model ya know, she's a natural.










Here is the giant trying on my extremely high sandals.





Did you know that she is 6 feet tall? Yeah, you thought I was tall, well my younger sister beats me by two inches.





I won't even get into the size of her enormous feet. I'll just say that my sandals are now stretched out and fall off my size 8 1/2 feet. Al refers to the monsters as skis.


It's quite accurate really.






Now I'll leave you with what Logan and I do best. Makin silly faces.










Thanks for playing, please come again.