That Which Shall Not Be Mentioned

Just thought I'd put this out there.


Mostly for my family and friends who are confused as to why I left the church (LDS church, you know the mormons?). I may write more and stick it on a page somewhere in this lil ol blog for those who care to read it, but for now, I found this website that explains EXACTLY why I left the church.


I have done so much research on this subject (the foundation of the church) from both Mormon and Non-Mormon historians that when I came across this website it felt like I was reading my own writing.


Before I post what I believe about the church, I want to post a link to the official LDS Website just so you can have information from both views.


So, for anyone who is curious as to why I left "the church", here is the website:


20 Truths About Mormonism

Here's the rundown with links to each section:

1. False Translation of Book of Abraham

2. Kinderhook Plates Proclaimed Ancient Records by Joseph

3. Joseph's Plagiarism in Book of Mormon and Other Revelations

4. Polygamy and Joseph's Many Wives

5. Emotionality as Evidence

6. Changing Doctrine Over Time

7. False Prophecies by Joseph

8. Lying for the Lord

9. Joseph's Use of the Seer Stone to Find Treasure

10. Blood Atonement Preached and Enforced

11. Joseph's Vain Ambitions




12. Defections of Church Leaders and Scholars

13. Substantial Changes to Book Of Mormon in subsequent Editions

14. Unrealistic Population Growth in Book of Mormon

15. Genetic Evidence Discounts that Native Americans Descended from Jews

16. Critics Squelched - "Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain!"

17. Church Prejudice Against Blacks

18. Was it Nephi or Moroni?

19. No Archaeological Evidence for Book of Mormon

20. Contradictory Versions of First Vision


If you do check out the website, feel free to let me know what you think. Whether you agree, disagree or missagree (Oh yeah, that's a word) I love hearing other thoughts and beliefs.


Okay, so even if you don't check out the website, what's your opinion on religion?


Do you believe in Religion? Do you believe in God?


Oh yeah, I went there.

Keeping the Sabath Day Holy

Winnin the big bucks in Mesquite.

Nipples, The Perfect Conversation Starter

We're finally back from Hawaii! It always sucks coming home after a vacation, especially coming home from a beautiful 80 degree paradise to a dark and grey 27 degree inversion.

But hello? I came home to my fury babies and all is well!

I've got 526,437 pictures from the trip to post for you but all in good time my friends, all in good time. For now I will leave you with another intelligent conversation I had last night with the hubster.

Me: "Nipples are so weird"

Hubster: "I know they really are huh?"

Me: "Why do guys even have nipples anyway?"

Hubster: "Come on Poob, that'd just be weird. Can you imagine me with no nipples, just extremely huge manly pec muscles?"

Me: Laughing, "I don't think it'd look too bad. I'm glad you don't have those gross saggy kind of nipples, I can't stand those. But seriously, why do guys have nipples? They have no use at all."

Hubster: "Yes they do."

Me: "Oh really, and what is that?"

Hubster: "To pierce."

Me: Laughing, "Oh Al"


Inside Joke:

My husband served an LDS (Mormon) Mission in Boston when he was nineteen. Of course there are so many rules for missionaries such as they can't be alone with girls, they can't even think about girls, they have to wear suits and ties, they have to have their hair short and cannot have any facial hair, the can't go anywhere without their companions, they can't be gay, they can't listen to worldly music, watch TV, or read worldly books, talk on the phone with family except for Holidays, they can't even steal from old ladies, they can't hold seances and worship the devil, they can't perform human sacrifices,

etcetra, etcetra.


But there are a few who like to bend the rules a bit, maybe to show rebellion, maybe to feel normal again, or maybe just for fun, who knows? Well, my husband was one of those and decided his form of rebellion would be...



Wait for it....




Piercing his nipples.




(But you've already figured that out by now haven't you.)


Yes, he got his nipples pierced while on his mission when he was supposed to be serving the Lord. But don't worry, he took his companion with him so he didn't break that rule. The church discourages such piercings and tattoos for all it's members, not just missionaries so this was a big no-no.

He was such a rebel wasn't he?


He said it hurt like hell. He had never experienced pain of that magnitude before in his life. He honestly can't say what hurt worse, getting into his motorcycle accident or getting his nipples pierced. But I don't feel sympathy for his nipple affliction.

It was obviously God's punishment.

Hungry is to Food as This Post is to Intelligence

Ok, remember when I told you about my flower beds and how the hubster totally ruined them by planting the tall flowers in the front and the short flowers in the back?

Well, you all told me not to worry, that once all the flowers started filling in that nobody would even notice my awkward flower beds.

Well thanks guys but you were wrong.

My flower beds still suck. Not only are the tall flowers awkwardly towering over the short flowers in the back, but they are growing sideways!



Sideways!


Seriously, I had a fabulous plan for these flowers to be planted in the back, all bunched together to avoid the lonely one plant awkwardness as shown below.




When turning into my driveway every day and seeing these hideous inept creatures I can't help but think how fitting it is for Al & I to have these flower beds in our yard.



Just like these flowers look out of place among the other flowers, Al & I are totally out of place in our neighborhood. Most of our neighbors just avoid us, they try not to look at us as we are driving through the neighborhood. Of course there are a few nice ones like our neighbors to the left of us, but for the most part nobody talks to us.


Our very next door neighbor especially goes out of his way to avoid us. When we were in-active members of the prominent religion in the neighborhood this neighbor was assigned to visit us every month. Instead of actually coming inside, he would just leave brownies on our doorstep (which were always disgusting), but that was fine by us. I think the day that he found out he no longer had to visit us was a huge relief for him, now he has no obligation to like us.


Then there's the dog hater neighbor who calls the cops on every single dog in the neighborhood. When we first moved in we thought it was just our dog that he was targeting but no, we found out that he is well known as the dog-hater dude.


He's retired and stays at home all day with nothing else to do but leave notes on our door and spy on our dogs. When Bain was alive he would call me and tell me exactly what dog was misbehaving and what their individual bark sounded like. I swear he would sit in his yard with binoculars and watch our dogs all day long.


Get a hobby dude.


Oh, and yelling at your wife is not a hobby. I swear they've got to be the two most miserable people. I have to fight the urge to take Dozer over to poop on his lawn.


And I'm not even going to get into the neighbor that came to visit us one day to tell us we were basically throwing our lives away and going to Hell. After Al had his say to this guy, he has never come back.


Thank God.


Living in our neighborhood reminds me of those stupid analogy questions on the SATs.


TALL AWKWARD EVIL FLOWERS are to THE FLOWER BED as POOBA & ALBERT are to THE NEIGHBORHOOD


But we've lived here seven years now and are pretty happy people so it must work for us.


Maybe those tall flowers aren't too bad after all.

Queertastic!

This past weekend was one of my favorite times of the year.


The Utah Pride Festival!



This is a 3 day festival in celebration of gay, lesbian, transgender, & bisexual individuals. For us who have gay or lesbian family members and friends, we come together and join in the festivities and educational activities to show our support. You will never see a more diverse group of people come together like this anywhere else. At least I haven't!






Sunday is the biggest day of the event where they have a parade in the morning and various concerts throughout the day. I have to admit that I have missed the parade every year because I sleep in.

Come on, it's the weekend, that's what I do best!




But I hear it is queertastic! Now I'm warning you now, if you can't handle pictures of half naked men and girl on girl action, this post is not for you! Okay so holding hands is about all I found for the girl on girl action, but still. I also need to warn you that you will see mullets.

Yes. Mullets.

Alright here is some hand holding and mullet goodness all in one pic! Take it all in folks, that mullet is classic!




Classic.

Girls, there is eye candy everywhere! And your husbands can't even feel threatened because they are all gay. (The eye candy, not your husbands. At least I hope your husbands aren't gay, if they are then you have a serious case of fruit blindness and you should probably get that checked at your next eye appointment. Just sayin.)






Lindee (lil sis) and Logan (lil sis's son) got in on all the action, but I don't think Logan had as much fun...I have no idea why not.




There was one thing missing though...their asses!




Seriously, where did they all go?






Maybe this has something to do with it.




I kid, I kid! And I can kid because Lin and I are tight with the gay folk. They love us and we love them even more.






And like I said, there were all types of gays there. The flamboyant ones.




And some that were still in the closet. (If you can't read this guys shirt, it says "Nobody Knows I'm Gay" Ha! I love it!)




Even the pets were gay.




I feel bad that I had to leave my gay kitties at home. They don't do well in public and like to keep their lifestyle private, but they sent their love.

Now look at this beautiful Mastiff. I saw this dog and about died, he reminded me so much of my sweet Bain! And when I heard his familiar deep bark I almost cried, I love Mastiffs!






Now my favorite booth to visit every year is the GLDS. Of course this booth is not supported by the LDS (mormon) church, but it's a booth to show support for gays and lesbians that are or were LDS.




My favorite thing to look at is the missionary map. Anyone who is gay or lesbian and went on an LDS mission come to put a little flag on the state or country where they served. The map is always so full of flags that you can hardly see the map underneath! Unfortunately I couldn't find it this year so I don't have a pic for you.




I'm not one to get offended, I understand people have their own beliefs and feelings about issues such as this so I'm open to hearing your opinions. I don't judge, I'd just like to know what everyone else thinks and since this has been a popular subject in the news lately I just wanna know,


What's your view on this lifestyle? Do you support gay marriage?


Come on, spill it!

Jesus Cake

Christmas Part I: Christmas Eve with the Dunns.



Every year we spend Christmas Eve with my side of the family and every year we participate in the Dunn family traditions of treasure hunting in the freezing cold, stuffing our faces with steak, trying to stay awake through a boring Christmas church video, singing happy birthday to Jesus and making ourselves sick by eating the richest birthday cake in the world. And every year I love it!

This year was no exception, however it was a little different then others.


Of course there was this adorable addition to join in the festivities!

And of course I kidnapped him right away!




Until this guy with the permanent scab on his head came and pried that poor sweet thing out of my arms leaving me babyless.

The nerve!




That guy is my dad and he always has this scab on his head. It seems he has a problem with his depth perception or somethin because he is constantly hitting it on everything!

The corner of open cupboard doors, the bottom of his desk drawer after hiding his secret stash of Banbury Cross doughnuts, twice on the weight machines at the gym (because he works out two times a day), and this latest scab was caused somehow while he was climbing out of his car.







Even though my parents are divorced my dad always comes to my mom's house and sleeps over Christmas Eve so that we can all spend Christmas together. They have been divorced for about 10 years now and neither one has re-married. So this year my dad still slept over but there was another addition.

My mom invited her boyfriend, Bob.




Yup, my mom has a boyfriend. And if you ask her, I think she'll even admit it because the fact that she invited him to Christmas makes it official.

So Bobra and Brolan were our two new additions to this years Christmas fun, adding more drool, more crying, more pooping, and more sucking of boobs.

Wait. I'm mistaken.....there was no drooling.


Except for me. Over Jesus Cake.







Mmmmmm. Jesus Cake.






This year my mom spared us the torture of pretending to watch the mormon christmas video and instead she made us a slide show. I loved it! Bobra, the computer genius, helped her put it together and it was so much fun to watch. They really did a great job, everyone even stayed awake!




Well almost everyone.




Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen? Wait there's more!




We opened a few presents that night and I am proud to say that Logan's favorite present was the one his favorite aunt gave him, never mind that it was the only present he opened that night.





I made both my parents photo books for their Christmas gifts from Al and I. I think they liked them!






The rest of the night was spent throwing kids in the air,




trying to convince Albert that babies look great on him,




Changing poopy diapers,




suphicating while Albert was bench presseing me,




And we finished the night watching Fred Claus.




Notice Logan STILL enjoying his favorite toy from his favorite aunt!

cough...me...cough, cough.