We spend the week peeing in the weeds and bathing in the lake. We each had to catch our own dinner and cook it over the fire that was started by rubbing two sticks together over a pile of weeds.
Our only shelter was a fort we made out of logs and at night we took turns staying awake to protect our little camp from snakes, mountain lions, bears, and to make sure little Ava didn't eat all of our food supply during the night.
We became one with nature. Er somethin like that.
The morning we left for the lake I actually went into internet withdrawals. I just didn't know how to do anything without the internet. It was like that commercial to quit smoking where the guy tries to drink a cup of coffee without a cigarette in his hand and spills it all over himself.
My fingers just stopped working; they'd been so used to typing that they didn't know what to do with themselves. Ya know, like Ricky Bobby.
"I don't know what to do with my hands."
I won't say it was easy, the sweats and hallucinations of internet withdrawal are intense but I got through it.
Barely.
When I saw this, it helped.
The first four days we got to spend with the my niece Ava and nephews Colin and Jaxon. The boys make me laugh all the time and Ava is such a Diva. She struts around in her swimming suit and her sunglasses on like she is the hottest thing since sliced bread! (Which she is of course)
Even though she'd put her sunglasses on upside down.
So my mom in law, Cris, bought the kids some blow up animals to play with in the water. Colin chose the killer whale blow up toy which turned out to be a people hater. Every time Colin tried to sit on it, the whale would buck him off. So my dad in law, Terry, decided that he had to master the killer whale.
And master it he did.
He was pretty proud of himself.
This year we had a new addition, this massive tube-like structure that is supposed to be impossible to tip over.
That thing is ridiculous, look how huge the sucker is! Albert had a hard time getting up on it.
He finally aloud the others to help him up, it was quite a site. I got a lot of pictures of his cute butt while he was being pulled up but since I value my life, I won't post any of those pics.
Now Colin got to try out the new kid's ski this year.
After skiing, he proudly declared to Cris:
"Grandma, I'm pretty talented on that." He is just so funny! I'm sure he'll be showing off his talent more this summer.
And what is Lake Powell without a water fight? Colin, Jaxon, and even Ava got in on the action. Nobody was safe with these kids and their water guns!
After Colin annihilated Terry via water gun, Clay decided to surprise Terry from behind. And not with just lake water mind you, but with ice water from the cooler, it was only fair.
Love Terry's face in this pic:
And if that competition wasn't enough, we had to continue throughout the night with a game of beer pong between Alex and Clay. Alex dominated even though Clay cheated. (Yes Clay, we all know you cheated!)
Look at that proud Mama!
The next night the competition was Monopoly, a favorite I have noticed with the Silkman clan. No, I didn't win but that's because I lost on purpose so I could go to bed. Otherwise I would have won hands down.
Common, you all know it's true!
This is how we rough it:
Told you we were roughing it.
Saturday night everyone had to go back to the real world leaving me, Al and Ma & Pa Silkman behind. So sad to see them go but as Terry drove the boat back to the dock, he taught the young'uns a valuable lesson.
Before the boat reached the dock, some guy cut their boat off not once but twice! Understandably sweet Grandpa Terry got a little irritated with the guy and attempted to let the guy know it. Terry yelled:
"F@%! Head!"
Lesson: Don't ~F~ with Grandpa Silkman!
(Luckily baby Ava was asleep so she did not learn the new word, at least not then)
After everyone was gone, it was just the four of us adults. Don't be fooled though, we adults know how to party!
*ahem*
Cris and Al fished...
...and fished, and fished and fished.
I witnessed my first fish poop of my life. Alex was holding up his catch of the day when it decided to take the last dump of its life right there on the deck. Sorry I didn't get a pic of the fish in action. I gagged, grabbed my mouth, puked, swallowed it, and then ran inside. Or something like that.
Fish Poop sucks ass.
After everyone left, we had plenty of time to get in a lot of wake boarding. Al is now a pro wake boarder as am I.
Funny how every time the guys would go wake boarding, as soon as they got up, they had to adjust their shorts.
Heaven forbid one leg's short is higher than the other, you've gotta look good while you're wake boarding ya know. Now ladies, this is what happens when you flash your boobs at your husband while he's wake boarding.
Love him!
So when it was my turn, I totally rocked it of course. Okay, more like hung on for dear life. But I have to say I was pretty proud of myself because I only got WUTB. once! (Water up the butt hole)
Wake boarding is hard work. See these hands? They have blisters; I sacrificed my soft girly hands for the wake board. You feel sorry for me now don't you?
I told you we were roughing it.
We had some romantic moments on the lake as well. Al and I shared some smores over the little fire Alex started in the sand. And of course he took the opportunity to try and get in my pants.
Al: "My love for you burns like this fire."
Me: "Uh huh" Laughing.
Al: "What? I'm not joking. Here I am trying to be romantic and you laugh in my face.
Me: "Right." Rolling my eyes, "Okay, try it again."
Al: "My love for you burns like this fire."
Me: "Oh Al, you're so sweet! How romantic!" Trying to hold back my laughter.
That's about as romantic as it gets around these parts! So romantic in fact that we saw fireworks.
No for real, there were fireworks. The boat next to us, or as Cris lovingly refers to them as the Stupid Idiots, were lighting fire works over the brush. And of course a fire started.
Stupid Idiots.
So Cris comes runnin up to the top of the boat to turn on the spot light, while yelling to let them know that they are stupid idiots and if they are going to do fireworks, they should do them over the lake.Stupid idiots.
Al and Terry were our big brave firemen and grabbed a couple tubs of water and ran to help put out the fire. Luckily for the Stupid Idiots, our firemen got there in time and were able to save the day and we all survived.
Including the Stupid Idiots.
We can't go to Lake Powell without some sort of catastrophe happening! But the rest of the trip was pretty calm.
Funniest thing about the trip? Cris ordered enough food to feed a family of Hippos for about 2 years. This is the food we had left over AFTER THE TRIP WAS OVER.
36 bags of chips, 34 pounds of lunchmeat, 20 bags of beef jerky, and candy galore! We can always count on Mama Silkman to make sure nobody starves to death
Refrigerator Number 1
Refrigerator Number 2
Told ya we were roughing it.
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