Your Mom...and Other Shit About Me

Tag Tiggity Tag Tag!

Yeah, I got tagged. Again. Guess this is what I get for only blogging once a week. Love ya Suz! This tag is called "Four Things About Me" and y'all better do it too yo!

Four Things About Me

Four shows I watch:



1. Modern Family
2. So you think you can dance
3. Dexter
4. Your mom
(Or you can just click HERE)




Four things I’m passionate about:

1. Dance
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Your mom




Four phrases I use a lot:



1. "That. Just. Happened."
2. "What the what?!"
3. "...and shit." (Just add it to the end of any sentence, it's fun and shit!)
4. "Your mom."




Four places I’d love to go:



1. A Brand New concert
2. Wine tasting at Maynard's winery
3. Any tropical destination
4. Your mom's house




Four things I did yesterday:



1. Went to Beans and Brews. Twice.
2. Drove back from Park City.
3. Procrastinated doing my homework and shit.
4. Your mom. What?!




Four things I love about winter:



1. Who loves winter?
2. It's fricken cold!
3. No, seriously, who likes winter?
4. Your mom




Four things I’ve learned from the past:



1. When you're at dinner with Mike, always check your straw before taking a drink!
2. Tanning beds = Cancer = scary doctors = stitches = scars = ugly
3. Never let Lindee borrow any clothes, cds, cell phones, and especially...YOUR BOSS!
4. Your mom jokes never get old.

Yeah Thats right, I'm Stylish. What?

Dude I leave the blogging world for a couple weeks and what do I get for it?


A freakin award that's what!





That's right, I'm pretty damn stylish and now I have proof. Jeannie says so and whatever Jeannie says goes. Don't doubt it. Don't be jealous. Just don't give up and maybe you too can be stylish one day.


Promise.


Okay, so this award wasn't really free, I actually have to work for it, here's the rules:
1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 8 things about yourself
3. Pass it on to 8 bloggers
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about their award


Here I go.


1. My armpits are a little sweaty right now.


2. I take steroids. (Settle down, not the illegal kind.)


3. I like to keep it a nice cool 60 degrees in my house. Yes Lindee I turn the AC on in the winter.


4. I just ended a 2 week long strike against my kitchen floor. I hate the linoleum and want my landlord to get tile so I decided it didn't deserve to be cleaned. Yeah, the strike didn't work because the linoleum is still there. Still there and now very dirty.


(I'm still on strike against my downstairs bathroom, I just can't forgive it for spitting up shit all over my house! Could you?)


5. I'm not sure if I believe in God and I am okay with that.


6. This year I gave the best Christmas gift ever. A fart machine.


7. I love my dads!


8. I'm a horrible texter. Text me and maybe, just maybe I'll text you back. And if I do text you back it will probably be a week later.


There. I did it. Half-assed but I still did it. Now to give it to peeps who actually deserve it!


Karin Katherine


Jason


Stacy


Julia


Suzi


DeAnna


Lindee (yes she's my sister but hello? Do you want me to never see my nephew again? That's right, she gets an award.)


Blue Violet


Alright you stylin bitches, come get your award!


Oh crap I almost forgot to thank Jeannie.


Thanks Jeannie!

Down To Bid'ness

This is long over due. I need to take care of some bloggy bid'ness.

AWARD TIME!

*Only bloggers that post at least once a week are eligible. My rule, deal with it.


Happy 101 Sweet Friends Award













I received this award from Melissa at Mom of 3, thanks Melissa!

Rules: List 10 things that make you happy and pass it on to 10 blogs.

1. Albert
2. My furry children
3. Fruity Pebbles
4. My nieces & nephews
5. Good Wine
6. My iPod
7. Blockbuster
8. Dancing
9. My muffin top
10. Your mom


I pass this on to these sweet bloggers:

1. DeAnna
2. Beautiful Mess
3. Jeanne at Chronic Healing
4. Heath'e'
5. Mommy Matters
6. Steph In The City
7. My Addition of Gab
8. Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha
9. Confessions Of A Country Girl
10. Life's About A Dream





One Lovely Blog Award










From Dawn at Life of a domestic goddess Dawn rocks! (Dawn if you're reading this did you go private? Can I have an invite?)

1. The Adventures of Jon and Steph
2. The Maaaa of Pricilla
3. Mama's Losin' It
4. Mom Taxi Julie
5. The Lords Humor...
6. Show My Face
7. Seven Clown Circus


Beautiful Blogger Award













From Laura at Hey What's For Dinner Mom? , thanks Laura!


Rules: Post 7 random factoids about yourself and then pass it to seven other bloggers.

Seven Random Facts (Not sure what factoids are, is there a difference?):

1. My mom failed me when it came to teaching me about puberty. I never knew (until I started birth control) that you could track your period to exactlty every 28 days. I knew it came monthly but I just thought we were supposed to watch for it, a guessing game if you will. Thanks mom. And thank you birth control

2. I always thought that the color of our blood was really blue inside our body and that it only turned red when it came into contact with oxygen. I swear I learned that in school didn't you?

3. My husband has decided to charge me for every story that I write about him on this blog. Not even kidding. (But I've got a juicy one coming up! Any donations are appreciated.)

4. I'm obsessed with movies. I have to watch at least 3 a week, but I can't just sit and watch them, I have to be doing something like cooking, cleaning, blogging. You get the picture.

5. I got this email from my sister, Lindee, this morning after I told her I might want to go back for my master's degree:

"Why don't you have a freaken kid retard."

She loves me.


6. I've cried on my birthday every year since I turned 12.

7. I first smoked a cigarette when I was 25 and didn't like it. I probably wasn't doing it right. I never do anything right.


I pass this on to:

1. Lindee (Yes, even though she called me a retard)
2. Living the Life with the Wife of Riley
3. Tranquility... and Turmoil
4. Perpetual Burn
5. Running Away? I'll Help You Pack
6. Tara from TMI
7. Jen at Burried With Children
8. Steph at Auburn Soul Photography
9. Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time...
10. Finding Fairy Tales





My Comments Rock Award













I received this award from Alexis at Running Away? I'll Help You Pack. Thanks Alexis!

I love these blogger's comments:

1. Chief at (Hiding From The Kids)
2. jennster :o)
3. Let's Have a Cocktail
4. Fran at Mayhem and Moxie
5. Nana's Kitchen
6. Nine Peas In A Pod
7. Our Simple Life
8. The Jason Show
9. Stacy's Random Thoughts
10. Stupid is as Sister Does



I Give Good Blog Award














I received this award from Jenny Mac from Let's Have a Cocktail, thanks Jenny Mac!

Rules: Make a cocktail, pick out some of your favorite bloggers. Send this award to 4 of them. Tell them why you think they give good blog.

1. A Nut in a Nutshell
2. Bethany at Nobody Listens To The Girl
3. Stacy's Random Thoughts
4. Stupid Is As Sister Does





Dragon's Loyalty Award














I received this award from Alexis at Running Away? I'll Help You Pack. Thanks Alexis!

Rules: Pass this award on to those dedicated followers of yours who always leave you a comment:

1. Knit By God's Hand
2. Savvy Suzi
3. Our Simple Life
4. Yaya Stuff
5. Stacy's Random Thoughts
6. A Nut in a Nutshell
7. Pulsipher Predilections
8. Queenie Jeannie
9. Stupid Is As Sister Does
10. Wizard of Ortin





The Best Blog Award








Another one I received from Alexis at Running Away? I'll Help You Pack.

Rules:

1) To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.
2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I pass this award on to:

1. Brian Miller
2. Robyn at Our Homeschool Home
3. That Gal Kiki at I'm Here
4. AmyLK from Amy's Awesome Nest
5. Oh My Goddess
6. Kim at ooh! piece of candy!
7. The Green Scene
8. Wizard of Ortin
9. Frau
10. Sane without drugs (Hello? Where did you go?)
11. The Two Twins
12. Sara at Handy Hooker
13. Heather at When Heather Met Blog
14. Momma @ Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out
15. Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short)




You're A Superstar Blogger Award:















I received this award from Paging Dr. Mommy, thanks

I pass this award on to:

1. Debbie at Suburb Sanity
2. Surviving Life Daily
3. Queenie Jeannie
4. Aunt of 14
5. Shandal at My Life In 3D
6. Chicago Lady
7. Lady Styx






Kreativ Blogger Award













I received this award from Steph In the City, thanks Steph!

I pass this award on to:

1. Smile! Its Becky!
2. Live. Laugh. Love.
3. INfertile Myrtle
4. Frogs in my formula
5. Adrian's Crazy Life
6. Optimistic Cynicism
7. The Bookkitten




I don't know about you but I'm exhausted after all that, I'm not even going to tell you how long it took me to choose the right blogs for the right awards. You better be appreciatin.


Oh and if I didn't give your blog an award it means I hate you.

And your mom.


(You know I'm kidding right?)

The Kick Ass Vacation

The best vacation I ever experienced was when the hubster and I went to Cancun last Jan 2008.

We stayed at the 5-star Excellence Riviera Cancun, an all inclusive, all adult resort. Yes, you read that correctly,

ALL inclusive
ALL adult

Seriously, could it be any better than that? (Said with my best Chandler impression, which doesn't sound like Chandler at all but you get the idea.)

They have 8 gourmet restaurants, 10 Bars, daily and nightly entertainment, and when you're laying out at the beach, they constantly serve you pina coladas, margaritas, and whatever your heart desires! (All included mind you!)


NO KIDS ALLOWED.


It was a week of heaven.


A vast change from the vacations that I was used to growing up. Not that my family vacations weren't fun, they were just a more budgeted type of fun. Which brings an embarrassing story to mind.


An embarrassing moment involving me? Shocking, I know.


Gosh, I was probably around 10 years old when my family went to California. We stayed in a small motel outside of Disney Land so we could walk to and from our Motel. One night we were walking back to our Motel and I remember walking directly behind my brother.


Being the good little sister I am, I started to kick the bottom of his feet as we walked. Lately this had become a habit of mine, I wasn't trying to trip him, I was just kicking the soles of his shoes straight on so his legs would kick forward as he walked.


He kept stopping while I was doing this so that instead of kicking his foot I would kick the air and the momentum of my leg would cause me to lunge forward and lose my balance. He thought this was pretty funny.


I on the other hand was getting very irritated. So I started plotting my revenge as we continued walking. I was planning to catch him off guard and kick the bottom of his foot with so much force that his leg would fly so far in front of him that he would lunge and lose his balance.


I would show him! (Evil grin)


So I planned this kick perfectly, when he wasn't suspecting it I bent my right knee behind me to get the most momentum possible and swung my leg as hard as I could in front of me.


I remember it as if the kick was in slow motion and right before my foot was about to hit my brother's foot, he dodged out of the way and my foot continued forward and slammed into the shin of an unsuspecting man walking the opposite direction.


I just kicked a stranger as hard as I could in the shin! The man apparently didn't speak English because as he crippled over in pain he screamed at me in some foreign language that I couldn't understand. He gestured with his hands pointing at his shin and screamed something that I can only guess translated to,


"What the F***!!?!!?"


Of course I don't know for sure that this is what he yelled but what would you yell if some kid just assaulted you for no reason!


I didn't know what to do so I just said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" and went to hide in front of my mom. I remember we just kept walking and I would peek back at the man who was still frozen in shock staring back at me.


I felt horrible! And of course blamed it on my brother, but to this day I can still see that poor man bent over holding his shin with the look of shock and pain on his face.





You can go check out Seven Clown Circus to participate in Day 3 of the Moxie Media kick off!

In Which I Don't Mention The Buffalo Burgers We Had For Dinner

I am a lazy human.


Too lazy to even pick up my camera yesterday and take pictures of my aprons. I wanted to join in the apron fun over at The Apron Goddesses with Julia & Suzi by showing off my lovely collection of aprons but instead of taking pictures, I farmed.


On Facebook.


My life is that exciting people. But luckily I have pictures of something even better.





Logan in an apron! He is a poser, he was totally workin the camera here you guys. His dad is going to kill me for putting him in this apron but Logan was struttin around and loving every minute of it!





He is sporting the apron I won over at The Apron Goddesses giveaway, this one Julia actually made herself and it's the perfect size for my little Log! Doesn't it go great with his pjs? It's perfect for your bedtime squats.




Speaking of my little Log, he turned three on Sunday! Ok I don't think you understand how amazing this is.


He. Turned. Three.


He is officially not a baby anymore! Guess that means it's time for Lindee and Lance to start gettin busy. I'm serious Lin, you better be too busy makin babies to even be reading this post.




You too Lance, Lindee can't do it by herself ya know.


So we had a little party for Logan at my dad's new house. YAY my dad bought a new house! He is still in the process of moving in but here are a few pics of his new home.







Of course these pics were taken after Logan trashed the place, but his house is beautiful and Logan loves the sandbox that my dad was so excited about!





And the backyard is beautiful!




There's nothing better than watching a 3 year old open presents and everyone spoiled him as usual.





Brolan wanted in on the action but Logan wasn't havin that!







Now here is Albert, the future lawyer. Look at that serious face, doesn't he look like a typical lawyer?




I bet you're wondering what he's thinking in this pic. Well I'll tell ya, he was either contemplating how he would repair the failing economy when he becomes President of the United States, or he was calculating the revenue he could generate with his newest business venture, or he was just staring at my boobs.


Probably the latter. He takes his booby watching very seriously.




I don't blame him, who'd want to stare at this face? (Of course I'm talking about the long horse faced girl on the left with the unkempt hair.)

It Aint Easy Being Queen

Phew, I'm back from Vegas safe and sound peeps! I'm still recovering but I was able to make it to work today so that's a good sign. I was pretty excited this morning when I visited The Adventures of Jon & Steph because she gave me this shiny sparkly award.



This means that you now must address me as Queen Grand Pooba. I will answer to nothing else. The title of Queen aint easy because now I've gotta do the following:

1. List 7 things that make me Awe-Summm

2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love

3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too.

(and link back to the Queen who tagged you)


Now you can imagine how hard this was for me to come up with 7 Awe-Summm things about myself, but I managed:


1. I am awe-sum at making other people look good, doesn't matter how bad your hair looks at the time, just stand next to me and you'll look like a movie star. Wanna look good in a picture? Just ask me to stand next to you and the unphotogenic-ness of my presence will make your photogenic-ness unprecedented! Plus my mammoth 5'10.5" size can make anyone look cute and tiny! (Now, the two girls below were already cute and tiny before this pic was taken, this is an example of how good I could make you look!)



2. I am awe-sum at giving people nicknames and making them stick. Example, I started calling Alex Albert. I mentioned the nickname to our nephews who brilliantly caught on and now refer to him as Albert, they think it's hilarious. As do I.




3. I am awe-sum at sleeping. Name any place and any circumstance and I will sleep through it. My alarm is turned up full blast and I still wake up to Albert shoving me and yelling at me to turn off my alarm. My bro-in-law Brandon once came to my house while I was asleep to pick something up for my hubster. After knocking and ringing the doorbell, which caused Dozer to bark LOUDLY, he figured I wasn't home so, per Albert's instructions, he came inside to the very room I was sleeping in to get Albert's stuff. I had no idea, and neither did Brandon until he looked over and saw me passed out on the bed! Which of course scared him to death but I continued sleeping, I'm THAT good.



4. I am awe-sum at losing buttons. Not just on pants but on my coats, gloves, shirts, basically anything that has a button, I'll lose it. And I save the buttons to sew back on later but always forget. Then when I go to put on a pair of pants, I notice there are no buttons so I end up pinning them together instead.





5. I am awe-sum at denting cars. Bumpers, doors, mirrors, you name it I've dented it.




6. I am an awe-sum list maker. I make lists for everything, I even made a list of all the lists that I want to make. If you're a list maker, you should go check out this site. It's basically list maker porn.





7. I am awe-sum at getting bruises. I get bruises everywhere all the time and I'm good at keeping those bruises there for a long period of time. I am awe-sum at getting bruises by hitting the corner of my bed post with my thigh every time I go into the bedroom, sometimes I get a bruise just by looking at that bed post. I'm also very good at getting bruises by falling up my stairs. Yes, not down, but up. I'm usually carrying a laundry basket upstairs when I trip landing on my knees on the hard wood floor. And finally I'm best at getting bruises while playing with my dog, for some reason wrestling a 130 pound animal has resulted in a black eye, multiple bloody skinned knees, broken blood vessels, whip marks from his tail, bloody noses and too many bruises to count.





And now to pass this on to my fellow Queens:


Andrea
Lindee
DeAnna
Suzi
Julia
Francesca
YOU!


(And your mom)