Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

STDs Are Contagious. Practice Safe Facebook!

***Click HERE to enter the $50 Target Gift Card Giveaway!***



So the other night, Mike and I accompanied Lin and Lance to some cowboy bar to celebrate some chick's birthday. I have no idea who's birthday it was and I'm pretty sure Lindee didn't either, I think she just wanted free cake.





Mmmmm....Cake.


What? Oh yeah, the cowboy bar. So when we were taking a break from the bull riding, Lindee started passing her phone around to show everyone some pictures that she had taken and eventually the phone was passed to Mike and I.





Little did Lindee know the danger in letting her phone leave her possession, especially with Mike around!


Mike, Mr. Practical Joker, took it upon himself to update Lin's facebook status:


"Ass warts again?! Really!!!???"


Oh yeah, that just happened. She immediately started getting comments on her status, it was hilarious. She didn't notice it until a couple hours later when she noticed she was getting a lot of facebook notifications.


Bahahaha! I'm still laughing...


And of course since it was on her phone, she wasn't able to delete the status update.


Bahahaha! I'm still laughing...


Fast forward a week to when my family all got together to celebrate Lindee's birthday. Mike and I put together a special present for our dear ass wart ridden Lindee.


First was 40 bucks for ass wart use only, as you can see by the picture, the money is specifically designated to be used for her ass wart problem:





And, because Mike and I care about her well being, we got her some ass wart ointment to get her started on her recovery.





Yeah, it was pretty much her favorite birthday present ever.


(But wait, that's not the end of the facebook drama....stay tuned)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

There Will Be No Crotch Watching Here

So remember like a month ago when I officially turned one year older? Yeah, well I finally have all the pictures from the little family get together downloaded. Only one month late. Whatev.


I know we have a lot of these little get togethers (or so Nikki tell's me) so I'm sure you're all sick of looking at them, but if you can make it through, there will be a special surprise for you this time.


Oh yeah, you're in for a treat.



How bout we start with the best part, family bonding.


Bonding? Phfsssh! Yeah right, I'm talking about presents!


This is a platter my dad gave me that matches my new place, it's beautiful and is sitting on my kitchen table right now!
(Notice cute lil Brolan on the very right hand side. He is constantly going, going, going. Trying to get him to stay still to take a picture is like a girl trying to pee in a urinal, it ain't easy!)


This is my "Awwwwwwwwwww" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-you-gave-me-my-absolute-favorite-coffee-shop-gift-card-Beans-and-Brews-chai-here-we-come!" face. Thanks Lin for help feeding my addiction.




And thanks to everyone else for all the money!!! I like money. Alot.


Now, this is my "Ooooooooh" face, otherwise known as "I-can't-believe-I-have-to-wear-these-shoes-with-no-heal-because-I-no-longer-have-a-six-foot-five-dude-to-stand-next-to-anymore-where's-my-stilettos?" face.




Of course Logan cheered me up, he doesn't care how tall I am. He said he loves me as long as I keep buying his favorite beer and popsicles.


Awwwwww, thanks Logie!


And the on lookers were having such a good time watching me open my gifts. Seriously, I must be pretty entertaining. (Never mind the fact that they were all looking at Brolan at the time...)




Do these pics look familiar? Yeah, this is when the infamous dog pile took place. And yes, my brother's face does not change. Ever.

If you happen to scroll back up through the previous pics, you'll see what a dynamic guy he is. He's a riot.


Now for the second best part: The cake.





And by The cake, I mean

"MMMMMMMMM....CAKE....AUUUUGGGHHHH"





Okay, you've suffered enough. Now on to that treat I promised you. I believe a little explanation is in order first.





So you know my mom is getting married so she has put our house up for sale. I say "our" house because even though I haven't lived there for over ten years, it's my home. We all feel that way so this is very sad for all of us.


Sigh.


Deep breath.


So anyway, my mom has been going through all of the crap that has accumulated over the last 25 years in the house and asked us to go through a few things to see if we wanted to keep them or throw them out.


Well, I am a sentimental girl. (Insert Wicked's "A Sentimental Man" background music) And I found one of my old dance costumes. (The only one that wasn't shred to pieces that is, stupid little sisters!) And since I've started recycling (because I heard it's sexy) I thought to myself, I bet I can get some good use out of this old thing!


So....I guess that sort of explains what's going on in these next pics. Sort of.


And the only reason I have decided to post these pics is because sweet Lindee has already pasted them all over facebook. (However she was kind enough to keep the crotch and butt shots out.)


And no, I am not posting the crotch shots that my lovely photographer was able to capture in the following fashion shoot.


(Not that I have anything against crotches. I love looking at crotches. Just not my own.)

































Don't you think this would be an awesome outfit to go dancing in? I thought so too.



Now I could tell that everyone else was a little jealous of my new find so I decided I'd let them have a go. First was Logan. (His dad is going to kill me for these pics! If you don't hear from me again, I am probably dead. Please send money in lieu of flowers, thanks.)



Doesn't he make the cutest bride?




I could tell my dad was getting sad that he didn't have a turn so I was like, "Fine whatever you can try it on too, just don't stretch it out bitch."




He just needed a little help is all...




And look at the beautiful bride! Everyone ready? 1 - 2 - 3 "AWWWWWWW!"




And while all this was going on, this was my sister in law's face:


"What the hell did I get married into?"




(I'm just randomly throwing in this picture because I think it turned out pretty cool.)



Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan!



We are all so mature. So the rest of the time was spent doing the usual family activities like hand stand contests.





Of which I clearly kicked ass.




Oh, oh, oh! Looky, I got a picture of Brolan! (Maybe peeing in a urinal isn't so hard after all.)




And of course anytime anyone pays attention to Brolan, Logan starts to steal the show. So he decided to get his groove on.




Kid's got talent.


Must have come from his dad's side cuz it sure as hell didn't come from his mom.






Just sayin.





And before the sun went down, we had to make sure we got one more good dog pile in.





Logan was a little slow at joining in.




Okay, well if you've made it this far and have survived all the pictures I'll give you one more treat.







Meet Cleave:




(You thought I'd actually post a crotch shot on the Internet?)


(You're right I would. If it was Lindee's.)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I'm On Fire!

Just wanted to thank the United States for celebrating my birthday yesterday.

The fireworks were to much, you really didn't have to do that.




But after 29 years of this, I pretty much expect it.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Our Old Man

Happy Birthday Dozer!





Dozer just turned 70 years old.


It just breaks my heart.

Friday, September 11, 2009

A Few Random Thoughts

Happy Birthday to my mom in law. Nobody will ever forget her birthday, being on the 11th of September.


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God bless America today.


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This is my desk right now. I make a concoction of Crystal Light Ice Tea and Crystal Light Lemonade. I need all 3 cups to do this, trust me.




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Can't believe DeAnna can run 17 miles and still be alive afterward.


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I'm so proud of my Lil Sis for getting into the Nursing program.


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I love when Annie beautifies my hair.



Sorry for the confusion on facebook that made it sound like you were doing my husband. I was talking about how you sexify his hair, not him himself.


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I finally told my mom that I am no longer a member of her church. Big weight lifted. She said we can still be lovers.


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Can't wait for Paramore's new CD and I'm definitely going to their concert.


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I got this very chic award from Jenny Mac.



And as always I'd like to pass this award on to your mom.


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My current addiction is Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and my new laptop.


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There are WAY to many links in this post


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I leave you with my Lee:



Until next time.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Someone Else Had to Have Been Knocked Up and I'm 99% Sure it Wasn't Me

This summer it seems that we have had tons and tons of birthdays in my family. I swear we didn't have this many last year, did someone else have a kid that I don't know about? Lin? Lyse? Pretty sure it wasn't me.


Last week we celebrated the annual aging of my Mom and my sis in law Amy. My Mom is ancient. I mean old, elderly even.






And Amy is even ancienter. (It's a word, look it up.)





Ok wait, if Amy's 25, that means she had her son Jake when she was 6 or 7.





Damn Amy, talk about a head start! And here I thought Lindee started early!




What's a family get together without the couch picture? I swear I have a thousand pictures of that couch. It's very photogenic.




And so are these people:








I think Lindee won in the "Best Birthday Present Giver Contest" this time around because look what the brat gave my mom:




Mom's been wanting a picture of Logan and Brolan together forEVA and Lindee and Amy finally managed to get the two kids together in the same place and to even smile at the same time.

Ok I'll let you guys win this time, but just this once!




Speaking of Lindee, she was taking this picture of me & Al and she couldn't stop laughing. I thought she was laughing because I was trying to suck on Al's nipple. Nope, it's because I was getting bunny-eared from behind! I thought I was being so funny, sucking a nipple is a funny picture right? Right?




I am so not funny.


So as birthday parties go, there are presents and cake and babies getting high. Chad attempted to squirt some whip cream into Brolan's mouth but it back fired and exploded in both of their faces.




Don't you know you have to hold the bottle upside down in order for it to spray? Oh that's right, I think Chad has only used those bottles to get high so he's probably not aware of their other use.

(Don't go calling Child Protective Whatever; my brother was not trying to get Brolan high. No brain cells were lost in the making of this blog entry. Promise.)




FYI: I've updated the "About" and "Cast" links at the top of this blog so if you don't know who any of these crazies are, go check out those links.