Metal Mouth Horse Face

I'm still digi-scrappin.


No, Tara, I promise I really am!


It's been a while since I've shared any of my pages with you so I thought I'd make your day a little brighter and post some purely for your enjoyment.


Now you can finally get a good night sleep tonight. Your significant other can thank me tomorrow. With Flowers.


And Chocolates.





This first one is from that weekend last year when Logan taught me a few things about photographay. I love the picture of his legs on the right hand side, so cute!







This second one is of my niece last Easter. I can't believe it's already been a year since then, I will have to get some more pictures of her this weekend at our Easter party!





Now you need to prepare yourself for this last one, it is very scary and I don't want you to faint so you better sit down before you look at it.
























So, okay, here it is.











The hair.


I know, the hair is big and frizzy and tacky but I didn't do it. This was a drill team picture so some chick right out of beauty school decided that this fro would be perfect for my skinny horse face.


She gave me a mane. I was closer to a horse then I'd ever been in my life. You could have stuck some carrots in front of my face and I would have followed you anywhere.






The braces.


I was a Junior in High School. A Junior in High School with Braces.


I didn't lose my last tooth until I was in 11th grade! The dentist finally had to pull it out because my adult tooth was growing sideways into my gum. I had to get braces to pull that bastard down.


They hooked a chain to that bastard tooth and attached the other end to the wire on my braces, so it would essentially pull the tooth down.


So not only did I have a gaping HOLE in my mouth, which made me feel like I was twelve, but I had geek braces with a freakin chain hanging below my teeth.


It wasn't a pretty sight. Luckily that picture was taken on the "good" side and you can't see the gaping hole and chain.


But you can still see the braces.


God I hated those braces.

If it Wasn't For Her, I'd be That Crazy Cat Lady With a Human to Cat Ratio of 1:152

I just went to lunch with my bestest!


I NEVER get to see her! Like ever. She lives 4 hours away, so imagine my surprise when she calls me up and says she's in town and wants to go to lunch!


2010


Me love her.


De has taught me many things throughout our 16 year friendship and I'd like to share a few with you.



I learned...


1. That the most delicious snack is toast with peanut butter, cinnamon and sugar.


2. How to get grounded for months at a time.


3. That it is not a sin if a guy touches your stomach...phew.


4. How to do the centipede.


5. The lyrics to "Shoop" by Salt-N-Pepa, and how to properly sing it gangsta style.


1999


6. How to kick a soccer ball into the air and not let it touch the ground.


7. How to play cards in an elevator in Wendover and not get kidnapped.


8. How to make No Bake Cookies, Egg & Tortilla, Breakfast Cake, and Homemade Tortillas.


1999


9. To be 1% Mexican.


10. That kissing boys with tongue is not gross.


11. The proper way to tan on your roof.


12. How to be a good mom. You know, if by chance I ever become one.


2008


13. How to fake cry while singing "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men.


14. How to shave down there.


15. How to flirt with a boy without pooping myself.


2000


16. How to keep a secret.


17. How to be a friend.


1999


Love you De!

Nursing Is Not Just For Mommies

Facebook is awesome!

I recently was able to reconnect with my good friend Melanie on facebook, she's my best ballet buddy. We did a lot of crap together. We carpooled to ballet two to three times a week...

(I'm always the tallest (imagine that?) and Mel's always the second tallest)



...we shared clothes, we went to school together and we had tons of sleepovers.

(Mel & I on the very right, cute De & I on the left and middle)


Obviously we were very cool. All three of us.



We choreographed our own dances together, we were in the Nutcracker together...








...and we were on the high school drill team together!








That's a whole lotta togetherness! Here is her lovely face today.




And here is her lovely belly today.




That's right, she has a baby, no, she has a Human. Being. In. Her. Belly. (Pregnancy is so alienish!)


She and her charming husband are having a baby boy, little baby Ivan. Mel went against her best judgment and invited me to her baby shower to help celebrate this lil guy waiting to spring forth into this world. She really had no idea the risk she was taking in extending an invite to a klutz such as me; of course I didn't tell her I was a baby smasher.


I'm not stupid.


So here is Mel & the guy who helped make the baby:




The baby shower was thrown by Mel's mother in law and it was just beautiful! Complete with brunch and Mimosas!






And showing up fashionably late (because it is fashionable to be late to a baby shower) were two other friends from our high school drill team. It was so awesome to see them and they are still as funny as they were in high school, and just as pretty!

This is Kristie and she has 2 kids of her own, a boy and a girl.




I was lucky enough to meet her littlest cutie Preslie, and even luckier to snap this shot:



(Don't worry, I didn't smash her)


This is Shirley Ann and yes, she too has a Human. Being. In. Her. Belly. She is pregnant with her first child, a baby girl.




Kristie had to teach the two future mothers how to change a blow-out poopy diaper, or as Tori Spelling would call a PUTP (Poop Up The Puss). Mel almost fainted from the pungent smell and Shirley Ann simply gasped realizing what the future has in store for her. Oh the horror!




I of course kept my distance, good birth control there.


Aren't my friend's bellies so dang cute & just enormous? Oh I am just kidding, really. Sort of.





And to think ten years ago we were all dancing together! Since I have fully embarrassed both myself and Mel with old pictures, I only feel obligated to do the same for Kristie and Shirley Ann.


Year book day at school, can you find them?




Shirley Ann and I at the Tremaine Dance Convention in Las Vegas. We stayed in a suite and felt pretty important. Rightly so.




This is at the national drill team competition in Florida, I have no idea what I'm doing to Shirley Ann's hair but she doesn't seem too upset by it.



One thing that I think is just hilarious about Shirley Ann is that she gave me the nickname Big Mamma. Her reasoning behind it was that I was the mother of the drill team with big boobs. And you know what they would do? They'd all make a sucky face and pretend to be nursing. That damn nickname stuck until I graduated.


Yes folks, like I said before, we were very cool and not immature at all.


Goofing around at Disney World while in Florida at nationals.






This is at the top secret candle light ceremony where the new members of the drill team are initiated in and the old members were ultimately kicked out. Very, very top secret stuff here; I could get killed for posting this picture.



(Mindy, if you value your life, you will not tell anyone!)


Now, back to the present.



Melanie I know you will be a great mother, just like you are a great substitute mother to Fox. I wish you all the best and can't wait to meet Ivan. (Hopefully this week!)

And don't worry, I hear that giving birth is absolutely the most excruciating pain you will ever experience.

No biggy.

Déjà vu-ish

Jen, a friend of mine from High School, has moved back to Utah. Yay! Lord knows if I were living in LA there's no way I'd come back to Utah, but that's just me. I guess she does have a good reason though,


I'M HERE!


(Ok, so are her daughter and fiance, but still.)


We all got together for dinner last night at Red Robin (Sorry the photo quality sucks, it was my phone. Stupid phone.)

Counterclockwise starting on the left: Amy, Brooke, Angie & her cutie Logan, Me & my huge arm, Jen & her cutie pa tootie Kylie.



Annie, Rach, De & everyone out of state we wish you could have come!

Here's some more crappy pictures (quality wise people, the girls are not crappy. Most of them anyway)




Okay now this little guy is so freakin cute I wanted to stuff him in my purse and take him home with me! (Gently of course)



He was entertaining me the whole night generously handing me all of his mom"s fries, one by one.

I was in love.






A couple weeks ago a bunch of us from high school also got together at Red Robin for lunch while everyone was in town for the reunion. So dinner last night was a little déjà vu-ish (It's a word).


Here are some pics from that lunch.

Top Row: Stephanie (ha ha Streeter I found your blog!), Brooke (WTF no blog?), My BFF DeAnna, Rachael, & Amy
Bottom Row: Steph, Me & Annie (bout time you blog up Annie!)













Girls, we cannot continue this habit of only getting together every ten years okay?

Or is it just me and you all have been meeting behind my back having sleep overs with pillow fights and frozen bras or maybe you've been sneeking out to toilet paper the old neighborhood without me or maybe Jen's been dumping strawberry lemonade on some bitches in the parking lot again?


Is it because I smell? I try to shower at least once a month.

All My Peeps From High School Who Either Read This Blog Or Who Are Blog Stalking, This Is For You.

My 10 year high school reunion has come and gone. It was fun but disappointing at the same time. Out of the 700 people in my high school class, only this many fuzzy lookin people showed up:




Albert took the pictures. I love ya hon, but the pictures suck butt.




So to everyone out there that COULD have made it to the reunion and just chose not too, you suck and I hate you. Ok, I don't hate you but you better come to the next one or else I'll have to hunt you down and spit in your cheerios.


It was so fun to reconnect with friends that I haven't seen for 10 years. It's amazing how people change but even more amazing how people don't change at all.

My best friend DeAnna is about the only person who I've kept in touch with throughout the 10 years. We were roommates in college and I don't think we will ever lose touch with each other. Here she is with her husband and high school sweetheart Josh.




And here they are 10 years ago. I still can't believe De got him to dress up with her.

Don't ask.




The big surprise of the night was when De and I were eating our salad and someone came up behind us and whispered,


"What, you didn't save me a seat?"


We turned around and squealed like little girls when we saw who it was.

(I'm the extremely white one in the middle, it's okay, I'm used to it)


Our long lost friend Denise!!! Seriously, this girl must be related to Houdini or something because just as soon as we are back in touch with her, she changes her cell phone and disappears again!

Here's the three of us 10 years ago.




Oh the stories I could tell about these girls!








The three of us were best friends from Junior High through high school. Ky (above on right) was a year younger than us so she is excused from not coming to the reunion but her husband however is not. We missed you Spencer and Ky!

Back to the reunion, behold Amy shows up in all her sexiness, she was my 5th grade BFF. I think De is trying to make out with her, or a least cop a feel.




I tried to find some pics from high school of Amy but couldn't find any. I did however find some from 5th grade. So here ya go Amy, you can thank me later for this one!




She's the witch in the bottom pic, and for those of you that were curious about my cactus costume, there it is in the top left corner.

Here's some more of my girlies, Lacey (second from right) was just hilarious that night. She is a fellow tree so of course we had to stand next to each other in the pic. I love her tall ass!




And I got some cute pics from our table at the reunion:






See? Albert was there and was extremely happy about that can't you tell? He didn't complain one bit and definitely didn't text Kevin to let him know that he was sitting through his worst nightmare. He loved every minute of it.




Ok so below we have Shane and his wife. I am still planning on kicking Shane's ass.




Why? Well, the reunion committee had everyone fill out a questionnaire about themselves and turn it in to them. They then would read the questionnaire out loud, into the microphone that wasn't working, and made each person stand up as they read about them. Denise and I thought we dodged the bullet by not turning in our papers.

Well, after all questionnaires were read, Shane took it upon himself to announce that they had missed me and Denise. So we both had to stand up and introduce ourselves anyway, which was even more embarrassing than if we would have just turned in our papers.


Shane, you've been warned!


Now I want to leave you with all the no shows from the reunion. At least all the no shows that I had pictures of. Most of these pics are from the Senior All night party. So everyone that didn't show, you deserve this.


























Everyone else, I couldn't find pics of you however your butts were missed too!