No Matter What . . .

The Beer Fest in Idaho was exactly how I imagined it.  A bunch of unattractive people stumbling around with only one goal in mind: 

Drink As Much Beer As You Possibly Can.

No Matter What!

No matter if you can no longer see, let alone walk straight.

No matter if you've puked up all the beer and pretzels you've eaten. That just gives you room for more beer.

No matter if the port-a-potty has become your permanent residence.

No matter if you've lost your beer cup, I'm sure there are plenty in the trash can you can dig out.

No matter if you have already passed out on the grass, someone should be making sure your cup is full.

No matter if you are so drunk that you start posing in other people's photographs.

(We still have no idea who that bald dude is in the back)

No matter if you feel like you must hold onto the grass in order not to fall off the earth.

No matter if every person you see has an exact twin.

 

(Ok, check out how creepy Lin's zombie hand is. Her hand looks dead!)

No matter if you can't win an argument you've been having with that tent pole all day.

No matter if the beer cup keeps missing your mouth.

And especially no matter if you're not as think you drunk I am! 

(From left to right:  Shauna's mom's beer, Shauna's mom, Lin, Shauna's beer, Shauna, Lindee's beer, my beer, and me!)

  

(Lindee's hand looking a little less zombie-ish)

But seriously.  Good effin times yo!  People are insane when there is all-you-can-drink beer at stake!  At some point during the day, Mike and I were standing under the tent when I felt someone grab my butt.  As soon as I turn around to see who it was I get a nice hard squeeze to the boob!  I look up and there is this chick standing there smiling and not wasting one other second, she does the same to Mike!

Yeah, we both got groped by the same chick.  Apparently she had made it her goal to grab 300 booties and 600 boobies that day.

Hey, who are we to stand in her way?

After the fest was over, the wait for the bus back to the hotel was taking forever so we stuffed ourselves in a cab with a bunch of other drunks.  And of course Mike just happens to know these people in the cab.  I swear he knows someone EVERYWHERE we go!

(Cab ride back to the hotel)

After everyone had a much needed nap, we headed to dinner.

The weekend turned out great. (Much better than a stupid graduation ceremony!)  It was me & Mike, Lin & Lance, and below is Lin's bro- and sis-in-law:

And for some reason whenever there is drinking involved, I tend to start force feeding those around me.  If you scroll up a bit, you will find a similar picture with me feeding Mike...

 But she loves it.

And we'll definitely be going back next year!

Excuse Me . . . . . No, Not Like That. . . . .

No I didn't fart. Or burp. At least not right now....


I meant excuse me for my absence I have been in Seattle with this handsome dude...

...and now I am headed to Toronto once again for work.


So, please excuse me.




*burp*

Aloha! (It Means Hello And Good Bye, You Guess Which One I Meant)

Back to the wonderful world of sun, warmth and crazy weed dudes, we find ourselves snorkeling in Molokini.

Molokini is a crater out in the middle of a channel away from the sand so it's a tropical underwater oasis and blah blah blah which means it's an amazing place for snorkeling! The water is clear and blue and the fish swim right up next to you.

Now I went snorkeling in Cancun but that was nothing like Hawaii, sure in Cancun we saw a couple sting rays and the water was clear but there was nothing else to see. The crater was just full of colorful plants and fish everywhere and yes, sharks!

I saw two sharks, mind you they stayed at the bottom of the crater and didn't come near us, at least didn't come near me, and they weren't the "jaws" type of sharks, they were smaller but definitely frightening.



Of course not frightening to me because I knew I could totally take that shark if by chance an attack was underway. I've got an unforgiving uppercut and the ultimate scuz face that would stop any shark dead in it's tracks.

So I wasn't worried and I followed the shark until I couldn't keep up with him anymore, or until I ran into a fellow snorkeler. Seriously, it's amazing to snorkel there but in that small of space with a million other snorkelers it's kind of hard to find a remote area.

We then were fortunate enough to snorkel with sea turtles. They are huge and they are beautiful. And those suckers are fast! We had underwater cameras and Clay took a bunch of pictures but I haven't seen them yet, so I'm sorry I have no turtle pictures for you.


Get over it.


I did however, get a few pictures of us on the boat before they threw us into the middle of the cold deep ocean. With no life jackets.






If you didn't notice, Albert is absent from these photos. He actually opted out of the snorkeling adventure due to the cuts he received on his feet from snorkeling the day before. He could hardly walk. He still has scabs.

Ouch.


Okay are you ready for the cutest picture of the year? Probably the cutest picture ever?

























We all couldn't help but laugh when we saw that Ava thought she was going snorkeling too, she was already to go!



Later in the week we found ourselves enjoying a sunset dinner cruise on the Spirit of Lahaina.



Before dinner they had a little magic show and my two cutie nephews got to be part of it. He had each of them hold a rope tight while he stood in front of it and then you'll never guess what he did, he pulled that rope right through his body and it appeared in front of him!



Seconds after I took this picture the top half of the magicians body fell to the floor and blood started spewing out from where his torso was once attached spraying blood on the whole audience. He was pronounced dead at the scene.


Guess he wasn't that great of a magician after all.


Ok, that part didn't really happen but you all are wishin it had, you sickos.



Ta-da!


Not only was this dude magical, but he could take pictures too.



Amazing.









Back at our Hawaiin abode, Al would work out every single day. Seriously, doesn't he know what the word vacation means?




Apparently not.

But the kids wanted to work out too. They were hilarious!





The following pictures are brought to you by Cris when the guys went boogie boarding, I'm so sad I missed out on this!








Okay, so my cute, innocent sister in law Sharon thought it would be a great idea to make a sand sculpture of a nice big pair of boobs. I know, I couldn't believe it either.




Okay, so she wasn't sculpting boobs, on purpose anyway. She was trying to make Mickey Mouse, but she told me while she was doing it she looked down and realized it looked like boobs, and everyone was giving her the WTF look. It's funny because that is SO unlike Sharon, I love her.

We also went to the aquarium and saw lots of cool sea creatures. Here I am taking a picture with the scariest sea creature on display.



Don't be frightened, I used my shark uppercut and survived the encounter.





I love this picture, can you see the reflection of a certain someone?













This seems to be a popular form of transportation for Ava.







And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. Don't be frightened, I heard that Hawaii officials were able to taze this creature and had it contained before it could pray for undeserving people.


Ladies and gentlemen, the 5 foot 10 inch Praying Mantis!