Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm Never Brushing My Teeth Again.

Everyone brushes their teeth to remove any food, gunk or in my case, chocolate, that may stain or get stuck in their teeth. You'd never expect the simple act of brushing your teeth and rinsing out your mouth to have the opposite affect.


I was brushing my teeth as usual this morning and leaned over the sink to spit out that foamy substance, I then cranked my neck to the side to take a drink of water running from the faucet. While I was sucking the water into my mouth, a little gnat flies in front of my face.


I immediately try to swat him away while I straighten up to get a better view of the little creep. So now I'm standing there with my mouth full of water looking for this nasty guy when I realize where the bugger went.






I actually stood there for about 20 seconds looking at myself in the mirror debating whether I should spit the water out or just swallow it. I tried to convince myself that the gnat had probably just flew out of the bathroom to free himself from the crazy giant lady swatting at him.


Finally I shut my eyes, leaned over the sink and let the water spill out of my mouth. When I opened my eyes, sure enough, Mr. Nat had flowed out of my mouth and into the sink. As the water circled it's way down the drain, Mr. Nat clung to the side of the sink as if he wanted me to be certain that he had been in my mouth, rubbing against my teeth and drowning down onto my tongue.




He was dead.


The bastard died.


IN. MY. MOUTH.





55 comments:

April and Doug said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Oh my gosh I would have puked! Really I would have

Denise said...

Ewwwwww! Seriously, just ewwwwww!

I read somewhere that the average person swallows 50 bugs a year in their sleep.

I'd much rather be asleep for this.

Amy said...

If that had been me, you would have seen projectile vomiting, at its best :)

Barely Domestic Mama said...

Ewwwww! Gnats suck! I know I swallowed more than a few on our romantic honeymoon desert horseback trail...which by the way is soooo not romantic when you are melting in the desert (the weather is about 100 degrees...might as well be a 1000), swallowing gnats, and praying to God that the stubborn horse that doesn't like you doesn't decide to throw you off at any point during your romantic trail ride.

Jon and Steph said...

GROSSSSSSSSSSSS! Ewie!

Oh well, I am sure everyone swallows at least one bug a day without knowing it!

I am glad you spit it out!

Yaya said...

That's disgusting! I bet your hubs doesn't kiss you tonight bc of that! Lol!

Suzi said...

Mmmm...Yummy!

Wehrle said...

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Tiffany said...

I'm with ya girl... I've swallowed more than my fair share of bugs when I am out running. It's not cool!

Kitten said...

Eeewww...I've had gnats before! Gross!

Here's a trick for getting rid of them. Get yourself some cider vinegar. Pour it into a small bowl. Put it in your bathroom. The gnats are attracted to the scent of the vinegar, and then the little bastards drown. Try it and let me know how it works!

andy said...

awesome.

i ate a fly once.

crunchy.

WhisperingWriter said...

Yum. Protein.

I'm kidding. That is so gross. *Shudders*

Annie Harper said...

I love that A) you blogged about this, and B) you blogged about this. You're my favorite person ever

Probably we should get necklaces.... :) hahahaha

Tammy Howard said...

When we used to ride motorcycles I know I ate bugs all the time. It is - unnerving to say the least. At least the little - um - bugger didn't live to tell about it. And you did. So you win.

Courtney said...

And to think I was eating lunch while reading this. You need to get some disposable dixie cups to rinse your mouth out with.

Rebecca Jo said...

You should have swallowed it.. morning protein to get you through the day! :o)

Amy said...

nasty! Don't ya hate those pesky little things?!?!

CLUFF FAMILY said...

You are a freakin tweeker now! I dont get the whole twitter thing. Why cant people just stick with FB and blogs! WTH!? And again- who were you talking about?? Gerard?? I am so confused!

Kristina P. said...

I think that Quentin Tarantino should make this into a movie.

Or, it could be a horrible Lifetime movie!!

Karin Katherine said...

Well, I guess I won't tell you about the bugs we all ingest every.day.
Yep. Every.Day.

Did you throw up yet?

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Bluck!

Tell the truth, though. You liked it.

~ Dawn ~ said...

OMG..I got the chills thinking about MR. Nat swimming aroudn and dying in your mouth.....EWWWWWW!! LOL!!

Lana said...

Sweet! Who needs a fly swatter when you've got Grand Pooba!!

(I'm glad you chose the spit option!)

Lee said...

At least it was just a little bug. I was riding my bike and a giant fly flew into my teeth and smashed into them.
THAT is nasty.

angie said...

You debated about swallowing it?! Gross! Wonder what was going on in the gnats head...

The cider vinegar works pretty well. We had a ton of gnats in the kitchen once. Turns out, the boyfriend left a banana in a lunch bag on top of the fridge. It was disgusting liquefied mess by the time we found it.

Bee and Rose said...

Ack! You have my deepest sympathies! You poor thing! I would have passed out!


(monster giveaway ends tonight 26 prizes in all! 12 chances to enter!)

Orr's said...

dont act like you brush your teeth. True story: I never brush my teeth and when I finally did I found nats growing in my teeth. I decided to brush my teeth more often.

The Wife O Riley said...

That's horrifying! I had one fly up my nose once, It was the single worst moment of my life!

Michelle said...

Wow. I've done my share of retarded things in my life but I can honestly say I've never done THAT. How does that happen? LOL Only you would have such a story to tell!

the ungourmet said...

I remember when I would ride my bike as a kid gnats would sometimes fly up my nose or in my mouth! I have never had it happen while brushing though.

I love Colbie too! I have this one and it is so great! :0)

LadyStyx said...

Oh....ew *wrinkles nose in disgust*

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

LMAO! Yucky! I think I might have brushed my teeth again to get the dead gnat ghost out of my mouth.

Mandy said...

ICK! Oh my.

ymK said...

eww!! I would have washed the inside of my mouth with soap! just kidding. But ewww!!

Amy said...

Ewwwww! Yuckiness

Hernandez Family said...

That sucks! I had a gnat die in my ear once and I thought that sucked!

Rhea said...

I'm gonna start calling you Miss Nasty Gnat Mouth from now on...hehe

Stesha said...

It could have been worse. The gnat could have hatched eggs in your mouth.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Tremayne and Dellany Higby said...

There is nothing on this planet that can make a story as good as a humorous cat picture! haha Don't you know you swallow like 1700 spiders every night anyway... duh. hehe

ChicagoLady said...

A little bit of protein never hurt anyone.

Poor gnat, imagine dying that way. Now his gnat friends will never know the horrors of his demise.

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said...

What in the world would make you even consider swallowing if you were at all suspicious he was in there? Thank you for spitting!

John and Rachael Alexander said...

Wow, Kelly, how do you get 41 comments on a post? you are a blogging queen... and I just watched your chick chat video and it was hilarious.. and I'm not a fake commenter or a blog stalker which is why I am actually leaving you a comment! hahaha

Xazmin said...

Gross! I am so sorry! I don't know what else to say!

Juls said...

Oh lordy... my reaction would have been the same as yours.... Yucky little flying weirdos have no business in my mouth....

Glad you decided to spit...

Sandy Toes said...

Oh my!
sandy toe

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Would it be wrong to tell you, Pooba, that the real reason I read your blog is to feel vastly better about my own life?

If it is, then I won't.

-Francesca

Debbi said...

gross-- sorry 'bout that!

Kathy B! said...

That is just 27 kinds of wrong. You might want to look into where he came from. In all seriousness I've heard that they can breed in drain pipes... He might've flown up... and straight into your mouth...

Donnetta said...

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Little Bastard.

ashley said...

See, that is exactly why I don't brush my teeth. I guess that's what you get for being hygienic;)

Mamarazzi said...

OH MY!

and that pic of the cat is hilarious!

nikkicrumpet said...

ROFL...it was a gnat! Now a tarantula would be another story. And one that would be even more hilarious than this one! You crack me up!

Julia said...

Yum yum! Can you send me some for a snack? Thanks. ;P

Megan said...

L. M. A. O. Oh wow! Hahahahahahaha Frickin HILARIOUS!

Is there anything that DOESN'T happen to you?

Janelle said...

That is fricken hilarious!!! haha...just found your blog, love it!