Wednesday, April 1, 2009

She-Man

Okay everyone, so I don't know how to spell diarrea or diareuh or annieharper or how ever you spell it!

That's not the only thing I can't do, I can't read either. Well maybe it's not that I can't read, but it's that I don't bother to read or pay attention. To anything.

Case in point.

As I told you before, I am taking prenatal vitamins.




I keep these vitamins in the kitchen cupboard which is a very reasonable place don't ya think? Me too. So everyday I do the same thing, open the cupboard, take out the bottle, pop two pills in my mouth and down a glass of water.

It's a routine. It's never failed me. Until now.

Yesterday I reached into the cupboard to pull out my trusty bottle of vitamins and pull out these instead.



Fine print:

Exclusive P-450 Estrogen-inhibitor
Rapid Bio-Diffusion Delivery
Increases Muscle Mass, Strength, & SEX DRIVE.



You think I'd notice the difference between my husband's testosterone bottle and my vitamin bottle right?

Wrong.



It wasn't until after I was humping my refrigerator that I realized what had happened.


Yes, I am now sporting a nice full mustache, but on the plus side I was able to rearrange the living room furniture this morning with just my pinky finger!

139 comments:

Jon and Steph said...

Oh my gosh, I'm dying here! That's hilarious. This is so something I would do! Thanks for the laugh....

Lindsey said...

HA HA HA... on of your best posts!! That is hillarious!

blueviolet said...

This explains so much about you. I don't know what, but something.

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh my gosh.... I busted out laughing... Did your husband take your Prenatal ones? Talk about role reversal!!!

You must be OUT OF IT in the morning... do the pills even look alike? That's hilarious!!!

I'm going to "PUMP you up"!!! Throw back to SNL!

Debbi said...

ahahah, nice, funny post! Humping the fridge is something I do every day-- so good to know why! ;)

Amy said...

You are one funny chick! If I ever need a good laugh, I come to your blog. Thanks for the entertainment.

Annie Harper said...

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. Kellster, you sure know how to make me laugh. Like on Saturday, when you copped to stealing things from my house(you whore)...I busted up laughing in the middle of Phantom of the Opera, the play. Which apparently is frowned upon.

I'm hoping you grow a handle bar mustache.

angie said...

I just had to click on the 'humping' label you have for this post, and guess what? You actually have 3 posts now with the label 'humping!'

I don't think I have any. I better try to catch up.

Kristina P. said...

Somehow, I don't feel as bad for not knowing the difference between my astringent and my contact solution.

Mandy said...

LOL! That is hilarious!

THE Stephanie said...

Yeah, I have to be careful too with all the pill my hubby takes. Too funny!!!

Mindy, Tyler, and Kids said...

I bet your hubby loved the increased sex drive! ;)

Queenie Jeannie said...

Were you aware of how PAINFUL it is to have Earl Grey tea shoot out of your nose, while chokingly laughing?? Huh? Do ya???

Well.........at least you ditched the lobster for me.....that's something anway.......

nikkicrumpet said...

HILARIOUS....and it's weird because that testosteron must be retro-acting...You got stupid and unaware just like a man before you even took them!

Kasey Hunt said...

I can always count on you for a good laugh!!!

Ben and Ash said...

It's not that often that a blog makes me literally laugh out loud...except yours!!!

Julia said...

Happy April Fools day....this is a joke right? I cant imagine that you are really that blond. You're one of those genius blond's who mastermind to take over the world, right? I mean you are an organization freak so I cant imagine you slipping up on this one.

If I am wrong I owe you a gigantic apology!

ChicagoLady said...

Whether this is a true story or not, I was laughing hysterically at the thought of you humping the refrigerator and sporting a full mustache.

On the bright side, you can spell refrigerator, lol.

Grand Pooba said...

Sadly this story is very true. I'm telling you I just was not paying attention! It could happen to anyone right?

But that doesn't mean I'm not one of those genius blonds, because I am.

And yes Julia, I do mastermind to take over the world.

Apology accepted.

Yaya said...

*Gasp* I cannot believe you took that! OMG!

LadyStyx said...

Too funny!

But yeah, keeping the pills in the cupboard in the kitchen is absolutely reasonable. I've got my pills stashed in one of 3 different places depending on what I take them for. My nightly allergy pills are on my desk, my morning vitamins are on my nightstand (I take them before my feet even hit the floor in the morning) and the stuff to aid in digestion (as well as my antibiotics when Im on them) are in the kitchen.

Rocksee said...

HAHAH OMG! HAHAHAHAHA


Well I am gonna say this. I reach in the cabinet alot of times not looking.

I am gonna start.

:)

LadyStyx said...

I guess the husband's pills effected you more than ya thought Pooba....check the last line on my entry. It tells ya where I got it from! *giggles* Silly gal.

heathersister said...

OMG. You are killing me. I am snorting here.

I want to see that mustache!!!LMAO

Be careful you don't take them before bed, you might kill poor Al.

Rocksee said...

HAHA OK thank you! I thought I was the only one wondering why everyone was yakkin it up on there Wordless Wednesday!

Nana said...

If your husband is like mine, he won't care if you have a mustache as long as you want lots of sex. You are so funny!

Julia said...

OK so I was totally wrong. BUT I know what really happened. You were up doing those 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles again and were delirious the next morning. That's it!

Suzi said...

I was going to ask you if you grew a sack, but then saw your response that it really did happen. Hope the facial hair disappears soon.

Lee said...

I would wind up doing the same thing.
My doctor says I have higher levels of testosterone.
It's because I'm a manly man.

JamieH said...

Pinky finger huh? Your one funny lady!

Bee and Rose said...

Just think of all the ways this could work in your behalf! (Just don't stoop to leaving the toilet seat up...)

Hilarious!!

BeeHappy said...

This is hilarious! I guess it's a good thing yesterday was hump day then after all. :)

kel said...

Oh my god...but that fridge was so asking for it...slutty fridge..

Nikki Cogg said...

Hi, just visiting from SITS! Your post was freakin hilarious!! Maybe I should get some of those pills for my husband... what's the name of them again??

Staci said...

did you really hump the fridge...what was that like??? ;)

Lindsey said...

HILARIOUS!!! I laughed out loud!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Bahaha - humping the refridgerator (did I spell that right?). Freaking hilarious.

Karin Katherine said...

Oh that is just so WRONG...love you!

Rocksee said...

Ok, seriously.. humpin the fridge.. you are too much girl!

I like it!

:)

CLUFF FAMILY said...

OOOO I WANT SOME! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME

Megan said...

LMAO!!!

"humping the refrigerator" *snarf*

Jennifer said...

LOL! Now that is funny..I don't care who you are.

Tiffany said...

I'm not going to be able to open the refrigerator today without thinking of you!

LMAO!

Kari said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard that I started choking and just about woke up everyone in the house. That is too funny.

the girl said...

I will never be able to look at a vitamin tablet bottle or a fridge in the same way again... Too funny!

xo

MrsM said...

Woopsies! LoL. At least there are some beneficial side effects!

Mindy said...

Hi from China! Love the imagery of this one!

Adopt a 'Do - Cute Girls Hairstyles

Yaya said...

OMG! LOL!

Myiam said...

LOL!! soooo funny you are. Girls will be girls...totally my style.

Hans and Shinta viĆ° Neyst said...

hahaha..you are hilarious!!!

Becky @ Our Sweet Peas said...

Nice!

My dear friend took her dog's pill recently but I am not sure which is worse???

Helen McGinn said...

ROTFL! xx

Pam said...

Best laugh of the week! Humping the refrigerator, huh? I think I may need some of that stuff!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

FUNNY!!!! :) Happy SITS Day to you!!! :)

Kris said...

Omg...too funny!!! Happy SITS day!

Joy said...

That is too too great!

Happy SITS day!

Janna Bee said...

Wow, you are so lucky... my husband can't even grow a proper mustache! (Hahaha!)

Robin said...

Too funny....

Creative Junkie said...

OMG - you just made me spit out my orange juice - that was funny!

Mel said...

You are hilarious! Again made me LOL....that's hilarious!

Mighty M said...

That's hilarious!!! Hope you didn't have to shave your beard for too very long!! ;-)

Tricia said...

Thank you so much for putting a smile on my face. I cannot wait to read more!

Happy SITS!

Christy said...

That is HILARIOUS!! "Humping the fridge" Ha!!

Cher said...

hmm...now I know what to do when I'm lacking on libido...hehe! You are hilarious. Congrats on your SITS day!

Liz said...

You are too funny at least you didn't need any help with furniture after that. Happy SITS day.

Laura said...

You should never grab for a pill bottle with your eye clothes! Happy SITS!

Elizabeth said...

Oh my goodness, I totally needed that laugh just now. This was hilarious!! :)

Superjaxster said...

LOL! Oh my gosh you crack me up! The last 10 mins of non-stop laughter count as exercise, right?

Sadiebug and her Mom said...

So, was it good for the refrigerator too?

sandy said...

Hahahahahahaha!

happy SITSday!

Michelle said...

THAT'S hilarious.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

ROFL! That's hilarious! Maybe I'll have to try take some of that so I can get more done around my house! :) Enjoy your day in the SITS spotlight! Have a great day!

B.o.B. said...

Ok so your blog is freakin' hysterical. Love it! Happy SITS day!

lynn said...

So funny! Love your blog!

Sheryl said...

I once took night time cold meds on my way out the door for work. Boy was that a long day.

Have a great SITS day.

Controlling My Chaos said...

Girlfriend, You are FUNNY.

Composing Hallelujahs said...

oh that's too much! :)

eyegirl said...

Haha. Very funny post! Hi from SITS.

Norine said...

Stopping by from SITS!
Enjoy your day!
Norine

Lizz said...

Oh! I can grow a moustache WITHOUT the aid of man-vites. How's THAT for a super power?

Too funny!

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Give me some! LOL

Annikke said...

That is the funniest thing I've ever read!!!!!

Little Miss Baker said...

Can you take them and avoid the mustache at all? I'm down. Send some my way?

Brandy said...

You might want to include some ginkgo supplements for the memory too! Baahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaa!

SugarandSpice said...

LOL!!!! That is hilarious! Sometimes I am so spacey I could see myself doing that, but I don't have any funny stories like yours!Happy sits day! Hope you have fun with it!!!

Aubrey said...

You are FABoosh!

Good think I haven't gotten my morning cup o'coffee yet! It would have been ALL over my monitor!

JG said...

That cracks me up!! Why it is important to look before you leap.

Tonya said...

LMAO! Oh my that's funny!!!!

Mira is triplet crown said...

Losing your mind is part of being a woman. I'm sure you were ok in the end, right? Just a little freaky day, ha ha...

Jessica said...

Hahahah I was *this* close to buying my husband some "male virility" tablets at the health food store once as a joke. If they'd been $5 instead of $40 I would have.

I just loved the names, "Stallion Elixir," "Male XXX 1000" and such. Love it.

carma said...

Just think what you could accomplish if you took them on a daily basis
Stallion Elixir- LOL

Ashley said...

LOVE IT!

At least it wasn't Xtense! :P

Happy SITS DAY!

NYC Mama said...

LMAO!!! That was some funny stuff.

Pricilla said...

Happy SITS day...and now you have all the bases covered.

BlogBaby said...

You're phrasing in this post makes me think there is something wrong with humping the refrigerator....seriously is there...mine's always been so good to me. ;)

BlogBaby's BabyMama

Jillian said...

HAHAHAHA! that is great!!

Brooke said...

HaHAHaHa!! that is seriously awesome! lol. LOL!! :)))))

foxy said...

love the blog - you are too funny. i think i must follow...

cheers, sitsta!

Marrdy said...

Oh gosh, Diet Coke just went flying out my nose! Too funny.

Holly Noelle said...

Funniest story I've read in weeks!

Katie said...

Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!!!!!

Cammie said...

I lol'd at the fridge mention....and co workers looked at me! Thanks for that

Night Owl Mama said...

LOL oh my gosh too funny. I need to get my hubby some of those I want the bedroom furniture moved around

Stalker v1.5 said...

Haha - that is hilarious.

Kara said...

Visiting from SITS and you are a crack up! Oh, and from now on I'm going to be much more careful when I reach into the medicine cabinet. :)

Kristin said...

Any chest hair to speak of?

Tranquility said...

Hmmm... those sound like they could come in very handy on occasion! It might be worth the mustache to have the manly strength that goes with it!

Rebecca said...

Laughing - out loud, for real! Hehehehe

And I thought it was just me...

Anita said...

Oh my stars I'm rolling! Humping the fridge.......you know, I'm on the downhill side of hormones, maybe my husband wouldn't mind the mustache if I was more in the mood!! LOL

Camille said...

yeah - those bottles look exactly alike! :) Maybe your hubster should start taking the prenatal pills to even the two of you out... a little role reversal if you will... :)

piecemeal people said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hee hee, hoo hoo, ha ha SNORT. Ow, my sides.

(The fridge-humping visual was just too much. For what it's worth, I pictured you with a very depraved look on your face, which only made it funnier.)

piecemeal people said...

Oh, and I've struggled with this one, too. It's D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A.

I think.

Jessica said...

Never humped the fridge, but I DO have a mustache!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

I love the tags you put on this one - Embarrasing, Hubster, Humping, Weird. I keep wondering what other posts are going to have these tags....

confessionsofacountrygirl said...

I'm laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my face!

Mama Kat said...

You hump your refrigerator too?? That's awesome.

But why does your husband need testosterone pills?? And how great is your sex life!?!

Rachel said...

haha! Oops!

Cindy said...

Hahaha, that is hilarious!

Delectable Dining said...

So funny. I think you've changed the way I think of my vitamins from here on out!

Days of Whine & Noses said...

I think I would've completely freaked out if that happened to me!

Stopping by from SITS!

marlynn said...

LMAO! That is hilarious! awesome post. stopping by from SITS! You are funny, girlfriend! :)

Jen said...

this post totally made me laugh out loud! I loved it.

I have really been enjoying your posts and I am so going to come back here more often.

Mama Mair said...

Classic: It wasn't until after I was humping my refrigerator that I realized what had happened.
Happy SITS day!

dddiva said...

ROFLMAO that is hysterical.

greedygrace said...

Humping the refrigerator! LOL!!!!

Jeannie Finelli, RN said...

Yes, you're kind of a dufus. We may be relatives :)

aforestfrolic said...

Ok, so yeah...we may just be the same people all together, tee hee ;-) How was the fridge anyway...any good?

Jamie :)

Mercedes said...

At least the refrigerator got something out of your mistake. : )
Welcome to SITS! We are excited to have you!

LivingInspired said...

Too funny!

Rbarakat said...

Oh My Gosh that was too funny!

The Redhead Riter said...

So that is the secret to having muscle! I won't ever exercise or lift weights again. Man, all that time I've wasted and I just needed to swallow two pills.

Aren't you glad they weren't Ex-Lax?

You would be great to pull a joke on and video. I would probably win the $100,000 America's Funniest Video. :o)

Lindsey said...

That's why I have MarvMan keep his diet pills or whatever they are (he says they're muscle builders or whatever, but c'mon, he only takes 'em right before he's got a physical fitness assessment and he's got to make tape) in the bathroom. My vitamins and daily herbals are in the kitchen. Otherwise, I would so be in your shoes at least once a month!

HAPPY SITS DAY!

jineen said...

oh my god, i am cracking up. my husband divies out the vitamins every day or i would forget. I better hope he is paying attention, or for that matter i better keep him happy so he doesn't slip something extra in there:)

the planet of janet said...

hmmmm... i might have to give that a try.

Astrid said...

LMAO!!!! Especially at the "humping the refrigerator" bit!!!

Happy SITS day!

Fresh Mommy said...

No freakin' way!! How could you even take that, LOL. I think that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

:)
~Tabitha

Mimi said...

OK, now that's funny! Enjoy your SITS day!

shortmama said...

Oh.my.good.gravy!

Say Anything Notes said...

Okay...so i'm visiting from SITS, playing catch up! Wanted to say CONGRATS on your feature...and HA HA HA, thanks, I needed that...I'm laughing out loud....now I know you probably weren't laughing about that mustache, but as my niece says "good golly" that's funny! Thanks for sharing!

Always,
Sarah Elizabeth