Thank God I'm A Sucker

I am, have always been and quite possibly will always be

a sucker.

Doesn't matter what your selling, if you come to my door and smile, I will buy it! I just can't bring myself to say no to someone who has spent the last 15 minutes desperately hyping up his product in hopes that this gullible blond will cave in so he can feed his 12 starving children McDonald's tonight instead of their usual night of rummaging through the gas station trash can in search of anything edible.

I know, I know, it's not like that AT ALL for these sales people but still...it could be right? So Bert has tried to help me just say no, but I am the most passive aggressive person you will ever meet so I started saying:

"Well how about you come back when my husband is home?" But I soon found out this wasn't a good tactic when one salesman responded:

"You mean your husband doesn't let you make any decisions on your own?"

That right there made me angry, put of course I just smiled politely and said "Nope!" and shut the door. Ahhh, Bert was so proud.



So I thought I was getting better until I went to the mall last week.

By myself.

While walking through the mall kiosks, I was approached by this man who said he wanted to show me something, I had seen these booths before with their flat irons and hair extensions and thought it wouldn't hurt anything to just humor this guy for a bit right?

Wrong!

He sat me down on the chair and started flat ironing my hair which was no big deal until he showed me how to curl my hair with the flat iron. I was amazed! Perfect ringlets with a flat iron? Impossible!

So I sat there and let him curl my whole head and talk about how great the product is and how he was a hair stylist over seas and had just moved to the United States a couple months ago. It was all fine and dandy until he told me how much the straightener costs,

$250


What? But of course he could sell it to me for a measly 170 bucks. Because I was special. Because he liked me.

I didn't want to buy it, I already had a straightener at home, I was about to suck it up and say no like I had practiced, but then he told me the flat iron came in pink!

I stalled, the poor guy had worked so hard on getting this sale I couldn't just say no! What if he started to cry? I couldn't walk away and feel good about myself that I made a grown man cry could I?!

There was no turning back now. I told myself I would buy it today and return it tomorrow. So the man got his sale and I left with the pink wonder in my hand.

It sat in it's box at my house for a week. I was going to return it, I really was.

But then I used it. And instantly the heavens opened up and smiled down on me and I fell in love.

And I now thank God everyday for making me a sucker.

For if I wasn't a sucker I would not have this pink miracle in my life today.